Because I know you’re dying to see Halloween pictures

November 5, 2012 by Kelli

I mean…you lost sleep over the fact that I haven’t posted Halloween pictures didn’t you? Come on…it’s okay to admit it. I know you were beside yourself with wonder and curiosity. I know you have been waiting with bated breath to see how adorable my kids looked on candy night.

It’s cool. I get it.

And I will not let you down.

You.

Are.

Welcome.

Now if you’ll excuse me – while you look over these and ooh and aah, I am off to try and make sense of my house. I was out of town all weekend and…well….

Super Mario, a Butterfly and David Freese

She wanted to be a princess, but didn't try any costumes on until 5:00 Halloween night. Cue weeping and gnashing of teeth. Nothing felt right or looked good. Oy, the drama. So we slapped on a skirt, butterfly wings, some hair color and make up and BAM! A beautiful butterfly. Score one for mom.

I just can't get enough of this kid.

David Freese

So despite a complete and total lack of preparation, Halloween was still a smashing success.

I win.

Filed Under: Halloween, Holidays Tagged With: Halloween 2012, kids in costume, Photos

On Halloween and Pumpkins and being a Scrooge

October 31, 2012 by Kelli

I’m going to go ahead and lay it all out for you. I am not into Halloween this year. It can just pass on by for all I care, because I have put zero effort in. We haven’t bought costumes, we haven’t carved pumpkins and I’ve got one bag of candy corn to give out.

I’m like the Halloween version of Scrooge. BAH HUMBUG!

Every year, we carve pumpkins. I bake the seeds, we enjoy this very fall-like tradition, but this year? Not interested. Because you see, what really happens is this: Every year the children draw their faces on the pumpkins, then I spend the next two hours scooping the gunk and carving by myself.

This year I decided no. And the kids really haven’t seemed too disappointed, which has diminished my mom guilt only slightly. Now if you all could quit posting your amazing works of pumpkin art on Facebook that would really be helpful.

I did buy three small pumpkins and let them paint them, so I haven’t completely failed. In fact, bring me a friggin medal people!

BAH HUMBUG!

Tia and Landon are digging costumes out of the costume chest. We have plenty to choose from and that suits them just fine. Sloan wanted to be a zombie or a vampire or something else equally boyish and “cool” but we put the kibosh on those things. I finally suggested he wear his David Freese jersey and a Cardinals hat and told him to go as David Freese.

He agreed.

I’m still waiting on my medal…

BAH HUMBUG!

I want to move on past Halloween and into Thanksgiving and Christmas, though if I’m honest, I’m not overly ready for either of those holidays yet, either. The cooler weather this week has gotten me a little more in the holiday spirit, though. Scones and hot tea in the morning make me feel festive. I may have to start listening to Christmas music starting tomorrow to psych myself up for it all.

Micheal Buble Christmas? Yes, please.

So what about you? Are you in the holiday spirit?

Which holiday are you ready for?

Filed Under: Adoption, Christmas, Halloween, Holidays, Thanksgiving Tagged With: Adoption, Fundraising, Holidays, Not into halloween

Don’t hate me because I live by the beach

October 9, 2012 by Kelli

I’m taking a break from my 31 Days topic because, quite frankly, I’m a little bored with it. I can only be serious for so long, folks, then my brain starts to smoke and tremor with the need to be ridiculous. I am not what you might call a “deep thinker.” I mean, I can pontificate (look out now – big word!) and dwell on things now and again and from time to time, I do feel the need to dig deep and write and talk pretty.

But then the silly must come out and I have to release the inner dialogue of humor that runs on a constant loop in my head or so help me, I will end up bursting out laughing at the most inappropriate of times.

Like church.

Or a funeral.

Or pretty much any situation that requires a certain amount of decorum and maturity.

So basically, I’m a twelve year old boy.

*this is the part where I eloquently transition to a new topic*

I shipped the kiddies off to school today and came to the beach. Because…well, because I can. Don’t hate. I’ve seen you all on Facebook talking about apple picking and pumpkin patching and wearing your scarves and boots and drinking your yuppy Starbucks.

blah, blah, blah…

All I have right now is the beach. Somebody call the Waaaambulance…

For the next three months, I will be desperately missing St. Louis. Just brace yourselves for it. It is what it is. I miss the pumpkin patch. I long to visit Eckert’s and stock up on 52 lbs of apples that we will never be able to eat before they all rot.

I miss the chill of fall and my boots. Sometimes I sit on the floor in the closet and whisper to my boots tenderly. I remind them that they’re still loved and I run my hand over them so they know they’re not alone. I may even whisper My Precious now and then, just so they know I’m here and I miss them.

Do not judge me!

While I am longing for autumn, I will fall back on the only thing I have. A rockin’ pair of sandles and the sunny shoreline of my favorite beach. And I will remind myself that Jesus probably likes the beach better than pumpkin patches and apple orchards, too.

And I will feel better.

Come January, I’m sorry, but I will no longer miss Midwest weather. I won’t miss snow and ice and temps that make you feel like your nose is falling off the second you step outside. I will walk outside with glee, and my boots and I will probably be reunited a few times before it gets too hot and I must send them back to the closet.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

*insert clever transition sentence here*

It’s a rough time to be four years old in the Stuart household these days. In the last two days, the four year old in our midst has colored on the bedroom carpet with purple marker…and the wall. He has slammed into the curtains in a moment of preschool insanity and pulled the curtain rods from the wall. And he has dropped and shattered a glass jar on the tile floor.

Guess what happens when your entire house is tiled and a glass jar shatters?

Glass. Goes. Everywhere.

You know what? Discard what I said above. It’s not hard to be a four year old right now – it’s hard to be the mother of a four year old right now!

I feel like this right here:

I bet she has a four year old bird back at the nest who is slowly, and completely by accident, destroying everything, too. I feel her pain. I just might curl up next to her and bask in the sun. She totally has the right idea.

*pretend I say something wildly hilarious here*

So I’m gonna go now. I’m sitting in a coffee shop right by the water and the beach is calling my name. Literally, I hear it. The waves lap the shore and each time they do I hear, Keeelllliiiii….Cooooommmmeee….Plllllaaaaaayyyyyy.

I shall not ignore the ocean any longer lest I be smote.

Have a good Tuesday. I feel so much better having released the nonsense inside my head.

Winky Face!!! 😉

Filed Under: 31 Days, Florida, Holidays, Random Tagged With: Beach Days, Don't Hate, I miss Autumn weather, Random, Stuff inside my head

Meet the newest American Girl

September 4, 2012 by Kelli

Comments are now closed. Winner will be announced tomorrow. Thanks everyone!

You would be hard pressed to find another toy company that has come up with a more creative and lucrative idea than that of the American Girl doll. Blending history with all things girly, they have the market on quality toys for little girls. I mean, really – they put Cabbage Patch Dolls to shame.

Those dolls grew in the ground and had yarn for hair. The ’80’s were a strange time, folks…

Had American Girl been around when I was little, I would have been wildly in love with the dolls. Instead, I am just wildly in love with them as an adult, and thankfully I get to share them with my own daughter and watch her imagination bloom as she plays and learns through their vastly rich historical stories.

Well done, American Girl. Well done.

The newest American Girl historical figure is Caroline Abbott whose story takes place near Lake Ontario during the War of 1812. From the American Girl press release:

“Living with her family in Sacket Harbor, New York, Caroline loves sailing with her shipbuilder father, and she even dreams of captaining her own ship one day. But after British sailors capture her father and cousin, Caroline does her best to keep the promise she makes to her father to stay steady and ride storms through the better weather. In the end, Caroline finds – and proves – her own steadiness and strength as she navigates the challenges of wartime.”

Caroline launches with six historical books written by author and social historian Kathleen Ernst and they follow Caroline’s adventures through this rich moment in American history.

“Our newest historical character, Caroline, is a brave, independent girl who teaches girls today that they can navigate life’s challenges by staying strong, making good decisions, and taking action,” says Jean McKenzie, executive vice president of American Girl. “We know our fans will be inspired by the stories of Caroline, who shows girls that they can set their own course to help make changes for the future.”

With Christmas quickly approaching (I know, WHAT?!), Caroline Abbott would make a great addition to your American Girl’s collection. She has an array of historically accurate clothes and accessories that represent her time period and the books are sure to enthrall your daughters as they learn more about our country in a way that interests them.

Today, thanks to American Girl, I have the privilege of offering one lucky reader Caroline Abbott’s six book box set. You can share with your daughter (or granddaughter, or niece, or cousin, or neighbor, or sister-in-law’s Aunt’s second cousin’s daughter…) these fun and lively tales that bring American history to life in a way that they can all love and understand.

There are three ways to enter:

– Leave a comment. Any comment will do.

– Send out a Tweet letting people know about the giveaway and come back and leave a second comment letting me know you tweeted and you will earn a second entry.

– Post this giveaway to Facebook and come back and leave a third comment, letting me know and you will receive a third entry.

This contest is open to US Residents only and will end on Monday, September 10, when I draw a random name from the list of comments. You will have twenty-four hours to respond to the email telling you you’ve won. If you do not respond, I will choose another winner. The winner will receive the box set directly from American Girl.

Ready to enter?

Go!

Oh, and please…have a lovely Tuesday. It’s September people! SEPTEMBER! Which can only mean one thing…pumpkin spice lattes and (hopefully soon for us Floridians) scarves and boots. That’s enough to make me unendingly happy today…

disclaimer: I am working in conjunction with American Girl to promote the launch of their new historical doll and I’m grateful for the opportunity. I received the Caroline Abbott doll in exchange for writing this post. I was not compensated.

Filed Under: books, Christmas, Giveaway, Holidays Tagged With: American Girl, Caroline Abbott, Giveaway, Historical Dolls, Product Review

How to throw a no fuss birthday party

July 3, 2012 by Kelli

Like every other parent, I began my career as mom going completely and totally over the top for birthdays. Sloan’s first birthday party was quite the fete and Tia’s grew even bigger thanks to the fact that all of our friends had multiple children when her first birthday rolled around. By the time it was Landon’s turn, I felt I had to throw a first birthday party simply out of obligation, but it wasn’t nearly as big as the others. Poor third baby…

As time went on, the parties stayed big and seemingly out of control with it all culminating on Sloan’s fifth birthday which was fun, but enormously chaotic. I vowed after that party never to put myself in that position again and for the last four years birthday parties have been smooth sailing around here.

So how do you host a cheap, no fuss, totally fun birthday party? It’s easy: Just follow this simple acronym:

Keep

It

Simple

Stupid (or Silly…’cause stupid sounds kinda harsh)

Part of the reason Sloan’s 5th birthday party was crazy-town was because I invited everyone and their brother. Literally. I was so afraid of hurting someone’s feelings that I invited every single person we knew, even if they weren’t people that Sloan played with on a regular basis. And because I didn’t want to inconvenience any parents, I decided to include the whole family in ever invitation.

Most of Sloan’s friends had two or more siblings. And everyone came!

No more. From that time on, birthday parties became low-key events at our home (minus Tia’s fourth birthday, which we had at a local gymnastics facility). The kids are allowed to invite five or six friends and we try to focus on doing something they really love to do.

We’ve had tea parties and movie parties. Last year, we invited six of Sloan’s friends to a local park, gave them all water guns and let them have at it. It was a blast and was as cheap and no fuss as you can get.

Remember Tia’s pink princess party?

I bought a hot pink bed sheet, a handful of costume pieces, which doubled as both photo props AND party favors, made a cake and some pink princess cookies and voila! A super fun princess party for little money and lots of fun with minimal preparation.

Another thing I’ve learned about throwing kid parties – skip cleaning the house! The kids could care less and they are just going to mess it up again, so just wait until after they leave and clean it then. That’s really a win-win for everyone. The kids get an unstressed Mama and you save yourself a needless afternoon of cleaning.

Finally, don’t forget that kids don’t really need that much to entertain them. They don’t need fancy, organized games, tons of food or manufactured settings to have fun. The less time and money you spend trying to give them the perfect party, the more fun they seem to have partying.

With that in mind, I planned Sloan’s party this year on the fly. I did not clean the house, I made a simple cake from a box and the only thing I planned and purchased were the flavored crickets and larva that he wanted to eat.

Uh-huh. It was a Bizarre Foods birthday party.

Bacon and Cheese Flavored Crickets

Mexican Spice Larvettes

Scorpion and Cricket Suckers. *shiver*

Prep time for this party was less than an hour. I simply cracked open a few boxes of dried bugs and sat back with camera in hand.

They made me eat one of the crickets. And you all know how much I love crickets. I picked cricket parts out of my teeth for an hour afterwards. *shudder*

On the count of three!

The rest of the afternoon the boys played baseball, swam, played a wicked game of Manhunt (which is esseintally a cuper cool name for hide-and-seek tag) and, of course, had chocolate cake. We topped the evening off by shooting some fireworks with our neighbors in the driveway. Just before leaving the boys all agreed, it was the best. day. ever.

The best part? Sloan decided a few weeks ago that instead of gifts. he wanted to have a donation party. He asked his friends to just put whatever they would have spent on a present in a jar. He collected $110.00. Enough to buy two goats and two chickens for families in need.

When I asked him why he wanted to do this, he told me he felt like he had enough stuff. “I just want to give good things to others this year.” I love his tender heart and I love the fact that he constantly challenges me to give more freely. I also love that, after he made the decision to forgo gifts from friends, he leaned over and whispered in my ear, “But you guys will still give me presents, right? ‘Cause family always gives presents.”

At the end of the day all of us were very, very :

What are ways that you simplify life?

Happy Fourth of July!

Filed Under: Family, Gross, Holidays, Ju;y 4th, Kids, School Tagged With: How to throw a simple kid's birthday party, kids birthdays, kids eating bugs, simplifying life, summer fun

Dear 5:00 AM…

April 9, 2012 by Kelli

I set my alarm for 5:00 AM this morning. Go ahead. You can laugh. It’s funny.

I really thought I could handle it. I even went to bed at 9:45 last night. I felt very responsible when I turned the lamp off before the 10:00 hour. How grown up of me, right? But what seemed like mere moments after closing my eyes, the alarm on my phone start screaming in my ear.

5:00 AM?!

I don’t know what I was thinking.

Incidentally, I spent a lot of time trying to find the perfect alarm sound to wake me up. I listened to every option provided on my phone and I painstakingly chose the sound that was least offensive. It sounded like little fairies ringing bells, gentle and serene. When I chose it, I pictured myself leaping out of bed in song. Like a musical.

Good Mornin’. Good Moooornin’.

In this vision I tap danced through the house, happy and free as a lark. I don’t know how to tap dance, although I did take lessons a few years ago and had the time of my life. I should do that again…

But, oddly enough, when my alarm went off this morning, it didn’t sound like fairies ringing bells any more. IT SOUNDED LIKE THE DEVIL HIMSELF CLANGING SYMBOLS IN MY EAR.

It was angry and harsh and I wanted to punch someone, not sing.

Then I got back in bed.

“Is that your alarm to get up and work?” Lee asked. He wasn’t really interested in the answer so much as he just wanted to acknowledge the offensiveness of being awakened by evil bells at 5 in the morning.

I grunted in reply and promptly closed my eyes. For the next 37 minutes, my brain and my body warred against the morning. It went down something like this:

BRAIN: “Get up. You have a lot to do this week. If you don’t get up now you won’t have time to get anything done this morning.”

BODY: “Shut up.”

BRAIN: “Seriously, just get up. You will be fine if you get up and move around. You can have coffee. You won’t regret it, but you will regret staying in bed and not getting anything done.”

BODY: “Shut. Up.”

BRAIN: “Alright that’s it you lazy BEEP. Get up! Get up! GET! UP!”

BODY: *sitting up at squinting at the clock that reads 5:24* “Ten more minutes. Now shut up.”

BRAIN: “Check the clock. I think it’s been ten minutes. Check the clock. Seriously. Your window of peace and productivity is shrinking exponentially. Check the clock. CHECK IT!”

5:37.

Sighing, I rolled out of bed and landed with a thud on the floor. Stumbling to the kitchen, I noticed how beautiful and serene the house felt. Dark and quiet, patiently waiting for the hustle of energy to roar to life. I liked it. The peace of the moment made me happy.

It did not make me feel like singing, though. Or dancing.

If any of you need me later, I’ll be on the couch taking a nap…

While I’ve got you all captivated here with my amazing and deep words of wisdom and grace, I might as well show you a few pictures from our Easter weekend, don’t you think? Wouldn’t that make your day? You’re welcome.

We spent the weekend with my cousin, Sean (whose book I hope you all purchased and are impatiently awaiting its arrival) and his wife, Addie, and their two cuties. The huge waves at the beach Friday made for three hours of crazy fun for the kids.

Glow in the Dark Easter Egg Hunt. Too much fun.

Sloan and his pet fox...I mean, dog.

I hope you all had a Happy and Blessed Easter filled with love, laughter and lots of chocolate.

Filed Under: Easter, Family, Holidays, Kids, Random, writing Tagged With: Easter, Mom's gonna need a nap, Photography, Writing early in the morning

Forever Crush

February 13, 2012 by Kelli

“Mom, did you have a crush on someone when you were eight like me?” he asked, his deep blue eyes searching my face as we drove down the road. This question came on the heels of our visit to the store where we gazed at the heart shaped boxes of chocolates and talked about when it’s appropriate to give someone a love card.

“I did,” I answered. “I liked a little boy named Brandon when I was in elementary school.”

“Well, is it okay to have a little crush?” he asked. If I could bottle the innocence that hung between us, I would fill up a thousand jars.

“Sure, it’s okay to have a little crush,” I answered. “But it’s better to just stay friends. You don’t need a girlfriend for a very, very long time.”

He nodded then grinned, the bliss of puppy love washing over his face. I know who he is thinking about. I saw her chasing him on the field while they played capture the flag.

“When did you start to have a boyfriend?” he asked slyly.

“Well, I dated a couple of boys in high school, but it was never too serious. There’s no reason to get serious when you’re young.”

“And then you had crushes in college, too?”

“Yep,” I answered. “I had a couple of crushes and one boyfriend in college before I met your Daddy.”

He was 25. I was 21. *sigh*

“And then HE was your crush, right?” Tia yelled from the backseat.

“He sure was,” I answered, smiling at her big, round eyes through the rear view mirror. “And you know what?” I asked in a hushed voice.

“WHAT?!” three little voices shouted back.

“He’s still my crush today.”

“You mean you’ve never had another crush?” Sloan asked.

“Nope,” I answered. “Your Daddy is my only crush and my only boyfriend forever and ever.”

“And your only husband,” Landon piped from his seat.

“Yep. That, too.”

Always and Forever.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Lee, Marriage, Valentine's Day Tagged With: Crush, Love, Marriage, Puppy Love, Valentine's Day

A Year in Review

December 29, 2011 by Kelli

This was a year of change for us. Hard, painful, exciting, beautiful growth. Four seasons have passed, three children have grown and a year’s worth of life was lived. This little corner of the web has been a bit of a refuge for me. Scrolling through old posts last night I realized it got a little depressing around here for a time. As we processed the move, I found myself stuck in the contemplative ponderings of change. And so many of you stuck it out as I processed.

Thank you.

I know I’ve already said that, but I need to say it again. I don’t like to get too serious around here. I don’t know why – I guess my ultimate hope is to make you all smile. Life is fun and there is so much joy to be had.

But sometimes life is also hard. Winter settles in and you have to search a bit more for the beauty in the frosty darkness. A dear friend told me during this more difficult time of transition that she could always tell when things weren’t quite right. “Your writing takes a completely different tone,” said said. “It’s still beautiful, but I just know that your heart is aching a bit more than usual.”

But inevitably winter must thaw and joy breaks through once more. We’re walking toward spring and it’s balmy and sweet. And funny.

So without further ado, I give you 2011 in review:

In January, I laughed until I cried and I beseeched my male readership to please, for the love of all things holy explain to me the obssession with Star Trek. (Best I could tell, Star Trek is to men what Twilight is to women…)

In Feburary, I threw one heck of a pink princess party and lived to tell the tale.

In March I gave you the first sneak peek into my novel (which I will finish in 2012 – hold me to that, internets!). Oh, and my dorky husband and I made a movie about how hot minivans actually are.

In April my first grader and I debated Creationism and the Big Bang theory. Later Tia and I discussed whether or not she would be able to do handstands in heaven while Landon swore up one side and down the other he saw a kangaroo on the side of the road. My kids are so delightfully weird.

In May I did NOT feel bad about Bin Laden’s death, and I mercilessly mocked my husband’s shoulder shaking dance moves. Oh yeah…and I lost my cool pants. Or maybe I never had them?

In June I gave you all a cavity with the sweetest pictures of childhood ever published. I also traveled to Montreal and spent the day on a movie set where I interviewed Christine Baransky, died laughing at my husband’s reasoning for why the kids should not touch a bird’s nest and I dug down deep and got more personal than I’ve ever done before.

In July Jennifer Aniston did my hair, we announced our impending move to Florida and my posts got a bit contemplative.

In August people disrespected my smokin’ hot minivan and it was suggested I add ghost flames down the side. I also announced our intention to homeschool and I went to Hollywood and took a million pictures of myself at a movie premiere.

In September I explained why I would not be raising a bimbo of a daughter, then we all rejoiced as she made the most beautiful decision. We also found ourselves finally settling into a home after three months of living like nomads.

In October we worked with our son on toughening up and learning to play with the big boys. Then I humbled myself and admitted to my tendency toward acting like a true blonde.

In November I cried a freakin’ river for a second time, then my daughter and I were scarred for life when we walked in on a man in an airplane bathroom with his pants around his ankles. And I officially coined the phrase “Air Butt.” I also wrote this post, which is another one of my favorites.

Which brings us to December. I found out my eyes have betrayed me this month, I contemplated the value of a man when Albert Pujols left the Cardinals for the Angels, I admitted my aversion to Math (maybe I’m allergic to numbers…) and I died my hair pink.

It’s been quite a year and I couldn’t be more excited to head into 2012. I have big dreams, several goals and a lot of confidence. I think it’s the hair that’s given me a little boost. I hope you’ll join me as we jump into the new year. Perhaps we could all take a lesson from my youngest and leap with reckless abandon and unabashed joy.

Who’s with me? What are you looking forward to and hoping to accomplish this year?

Filed Under: blast from the past, Blogging, faith, Family, Florida, Holidays, Life, New Years Tagged With: Albert Pujols, End of Year, Goals and Dreams, Jennifer Aniston, Life flies, New Year, Year in Review

From our family to yours

December 25, 2011 by Kelli

I pray you all had a lovely, wonderful Christmas filled with joy, laughter and maybe even a bit of silliness. Thanks for taking a journey with me this last year. We’ve covered a lot of ground and so many of you have walked us through this season of change. Seriously…thank you.

I bid you all drive forward in your minivans, proudly entering this new year with your heads held high and your back seats clean.

Here’s to another year of crazy!

Filed Under: Christmas, Holidays, Life, Minivans, New Years, Random Tagged With: Happy New Year Wishes, Minivans

When Life Gives You Lemons

December 12, 2011 by Kelli

Make Lemonade, right?

Or in our case, when Target gives you a Gingerbread House that refuses to stay together…

Eat it.

While our annual Gingerbread House construction did not go quite as planned, we did partake in what I can only hope will be a new tradition over the weekend when we attended the boat parade in Clearwater.

The perks to living minutes from the ocean keep adding up.

It was even chilly enough to necessitate the wearing of the coats for the first time! It felt downright Christmasy…

Our friends, Mike and Carol, joined us on the water. One year ago at this time we were all sledding down the hill in their back yard. Now we congregate at the beach, instead. It’s so good to have familiar faces nearby.