The Nest and the Bootie

Hee, hee – that title makes me laugh. 

Last night we watched Dancing With the Stars.  I usually don’t get in to that show, but it was kind of fun last night so we ended up watching the whole thing.

Sloan and Tia got into it as well, but half way through the show, I found myself squirming as I watched my 5-year-old oggling the (very) scantily clad dancers. 

Sadly, instead of listening to the silent urging I felt to turn the channel or, better yet, turn the TV off, I continued to watch and hope that Sloan wasn’t really paying attention to the clothing but was more enraptured by the dancing.  Until…

“Hey mom, I can almost see that girl’s bootie! And look at her nest!  She’s not wearing many clothes.  She should be careful or she’ll be embarrassing in front of all these people.”

And that signified bedtime for small children.  Geesh!

Yes, he calls the female chest a nest.  It’s an honest misunderstanding but it makes me laugh so I haven’t corrected him, even though he’s called it that for several years now.  At least he’s got more discretion than he did at 3 when he would comment on the size of a woman’s “nest” anywhere and everywhere.

But, that was the point when it hit me.  While the show itself is rather innocent and fun, the outfits they wear are anything but.  It’s amazing how aware I am of such things now that I have boys. 

It’s funny how before kids, I was determined that I would be the cool mom.  I would be the mom who didn’t sweat the small stuff, who didn’t make a big deal out of the “little” things.  Well guess what?  What I used to think was little is now quite magnified.  I’m acutely aware of what my kids see and hear and I find myself much more vigilant than I thought I would be when it comes to protecting their innocence.

So we will likely not be adding Dancing With the Stars to our family repetoire of TV shows.  I mean, it’s good fun and all, but Sloan was right – there was nest and bootie shakin’ all over the place and somehow I’m thinking that I’d like to avoid him thinking of that as fun.  At least for a while anyway.

Minivans are HOT!

One year and four months ago, I became a minivan mom.  It was a necessary step.  I was roughly 15 months pregnant with Landon and there was no way on God’s green earth that three car seats were going to fit into my SUV.

Lee and I sat in the grey-walled room of the car dealership and worked out the details of the sale with a very kind man and all the while my stomach churned.  I mean, it’s just a car.  It’s no more than a mode of transportation, right?

Then why was it so painful to transition to driving a minivan?  I asked this question many times in the weeks following our purchase (that and why in the flippin’ world do minivans cost so daggum much?)

After Landon arrived, I had to admit, the van was extremely convenient.  Especially given the fact that Sloan figured out quickly how to buckle his own seat belt, thereby making our transition from home to van much more manageable.  And we stuck with the standard black minivan with a grey interior because somehow, in my distorted little mind, that seemed just a little bit cooler.

Today, I am very resigned to my status as a minivan mom.  I even completed the look by arriving to my son’s preschool several times this year still in my pajamas.  Niiiice.  Might as well look the part, eh?

You see, the problem is that my mom was a minivan mom and, well – no offense mom – but she was my mom.  You know, the older more mature, wiser woman in charge of guiding me through the waters of life.  Certainly I’m not old enough to be in the position.  It was only yesterday I was heaving a loaded bag of books across Baylor’s campus, worrying about my impending finals.  How did I become that mom?

But alas, I am that mom.  There’s no way around it.  I have three babies (the oldest of which is no longer a baby and preparing to enter elementary school!  Don’t even get me started on how I feel about becoming a PTA mom)  And, I gotta say, as much as circumstances permit, I am rockin’ the minivan. 

So here’s my encouragement to all you minivan moms out there struggling with the stigma.  Your minivan doesn’t lower your cool factor – oh no.  You, my dear friends, drastically up the minivan’s hot factor.  Minivan’s don’t define us – we define them!  And I say they’re hot!  Can I get an Amen?

Welcome to my blog.

It’s Coming, It’s Coming, It’s Coming…

Joe says he’s almost finished with the mock-up and his wife Kelli got me all excited when she told me the design was amazing.  Get ready to have some fun because the page design is almost here!

Is It Bad? Part Three

My third installment of Is It Bad? If you feel so inclined, please join me in asking the blogosphere whether or not certain actions/thoughts/desires that you have are bad. If you choose to join in the fun, leave me a comment with a link to your own post, or leave your own Is It Bad? questions in the comments section.

- Is it bad that when I heard we were supposed to get rain today, I immediately began praying that a hail storm would center itself over our house causing just enough damage that the insurance company would pay for a new roof?

- Is it bad that we still have a hole in our roof from a tree branch that fell during the ice storm of 2007? The hole is just through the awning so it doesn’t actually come into the house and we have put new shingles over that one spot so it’s not really bad that we haven’t fixed the roof yet…is it?

- Is it bad that I don’t buy the “green” movement that’s sweeping the nation at all? I’m all for protecting the environment and we are doing our part by using reusable grocery bags (sometimes) and recycling (when we remember) and trying to keep the lights off when we leave a room, etc… But I refuse to feel like some kind of an earth raper by phonies like Al Gore and 90% of Hollywood. Look, I’m not going to make my family start using reusable toliet paper – sorry! Not gonna happen.

- Is it bad that we still have bits of green twine hanging from the top of our minivan from when we bought our Christmas tree in the beginning of December? Yes, we truly are hoosiers.

- Is it bad that every time I decide it’s time to reign in my bad eating patterns so I can lose the last few pounds of baby weight, I immediately begin craving chocolate with the ferocity of one who has not eaten in months?

- Is it bad that I usually cave into this craving within about 24 hours and consume more chocolate than should be legal?

- Is it bad that I long to live in Florida yet cringe at the idea of leaving everything wonderful we have here so I constantly live in a state of wishing for something that I wish I didn’t wish for?

- Is it bad that the last statement I wrote made no sense and I’m not going to do anything about it?

- Is it bad that I still sometimes think about George Clooney smiling at me and find myself giggling like a little school girl?

- Is it bad that right now I have a few precious hours to get some much needed work done, yet I find myself really wishing that I could return to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? I must. be. strong!

Now it’s your turn – Have fun!

It Was A Good Week



Sloan on Age

We are gathering everything up to head home tomorrow. There is a great weeping and gnashing of teeth. As Sloan told me tonight, “I hate when we have to go home.”

Sloan’s had a couple of great quotes this week. Real winners. For your reading enjoyment:

“Mom, you’re old like the dinosaurs.”

Nice.

Sloan struck up a conversation with a group of people walking past our condo one day (who’s surprised?). This was his introduction:
“Hi. My name is Sloan, I’m five and a half. That’s my sister Tia and she’s three. There’s my brother Landon – he’s one. That’s my mom – she’s thirty, which is, like, pretty old. And that’s my dad – he’s thirty-five.” (I was slightly insulted at being identified as ‘pretty old,’ but Lee was more insulted given that he’s only thirty-four.)

At the beach a couple of nights ago, a young couple walked up with their two young kids. Sloan, of course, approached them with all the boldness and brass of a forty year old.
“Are you their mom?” he asked.
The girl nodded.
“Well, you can’t be their mom,” he said, “because you’re not old like my mom.”

In his, and my, defense, this girl literally looked like she was twelve. I doubted her maternity myself. Still, when did I become ancient? Is it because I’m thirty because from what I hear, thirty is the new twenty, which means I’m still in the prime of my youth. No? Yes?

So, I am now in search of the fountain of youth and if any of you know of its whereabouts, I would greatly appreciate your help. Or, I’ll take the number of the hottest plastic surgeon in town – whatever, I’m not picky. I’m just old.

Sand and Surf

We are in Florida for the week so updates will be sparse. The weather could not be more beautiful here right now. Sorry St. Louis folk. We are sunburned and enjoying ourselves immensely. The kids have been angelic, which has only deepend my desire to make sure we travel with them as much as possible as they grow up. I love the family time and the togetherness that a vacation provides and because they are such great travellers, there just seems to be no reason why we shouldn’t keep this up.

That’s my justification and I’m sticking to it!

Today we are going to put the wave runner in the water and spend the day playing in the ocean. There are few places in the world where I feel this relaxed and content. Hope you all enjoy your own spring breaks, wherever you are!

Wooing George Clooney

Yesterday was my day on the set of the movie filming in St. Louis. I had to sign a confidentiality agreement so I can’t discuss anything about the movie or what we did, but I will let you all know that George Clooney is indeed as handsome in real life as he is on screen. He looked just like himself, only thinner which proves the myth that the camera really does add ten pounds.

For a short period of time yesterday, I was placed directly in front of George (I call him George now because we’re tight). I wasn’t ten feet from him so I got a great view of his hotness. He was rehearsing his lines and he looked up. Our eyes met and he nodded with a slight grin. I nodded and smiled back, then I slow motion flipped my hair. Naturally his jaw dropped and he rushed to me and dropped to one knee, gazing adoringly into my eyes.

Okay that last part didn’t really happen – well, it happened in my mind but not in real life. We did smile at one another though. We shared a special moment, folks, and I’m quite certain I made a lasting impression. Then the director started shuffling people around and I got shifted farther back, but the connection was still there – I’m sure of it.

At lunch George ate with the crew and his table was just a few feet from mine, so I consider that close enough to be able to say we had lunch together. He was a charming lunch date…

I sat with a really fun group of people while we waited to go on set. We called ourselves the table of random connections because three of us graduated from Lafayette within three years of one another and we all three grew up in the same subdivision (it was a big neighborhood so we never actually met, though I knew one of the guy’s sister and he knew my brother). There were other random connections between some of the other people and we had a great time getting to know one another.

In all I would say it was a very fun experience. I’m not sure if I’ll make it into the movie or not given where I was seated. You may catch a quick glimpse of the back of my head, which would be fine by me since I was having the worst hair day ever. It was rainy and humid yesterday and my hair frizzed out making me look a little bit like Simba. Even the hair ladies had a hard time trying to get my hair to cooperate. Oh well, at least I won George’s heart.

Great Weather and a Great Giveaway

This weekend was amazing. It was unseasonably warm – as in 84 degrees on Friday – and all around perfect. We took full advantage of the lovely weather and soaked in as much Vitamin D as our bodies would allow.

I took the kids to the Zoo on Friday and we just had a blast. They were as angelic as they could have possibly been, which made the trip fun for me too! Landon is at that delightful age where everything is new and exciting. It was magical watching his face light up as he pointed at all the animals in wonder. I loved it. He really enjoyed petting the goats in the Children’s Zoo -Until one of the big ones got up and started walking toward him… This was my favorite. He was so fascinated by the animals that he would stand as high on his chubby little toes as he could, craning his neck to catch a glimpse. This is pure sweetness.

We all got a kick out of this guy.Sloan and Tia were respectful and obedient and even nice to one another. It was almost a little disconcerting…
Now – on to the giveaway. If you go to Five Minute for Mom today, you can enter to win four 1 day park hoppers for Disney World! It’s easy to enter – just leave them a comment. And you can receive multiple entries if you twitter, facebook or blog about the giveaway. I thought this was a really cool giveaway so I wanted to pass the opportunity along to the rest of you.
I have so much to do today that for me to be sitting at this computer typing out a post is really ridiculous, but what can I say? I’m an addict. Tomorrow is my day to be an extra in the George Clooney film here in town. I have to be downtown at 6 am and will be there 8-12 hours. I’m making a whopping 56.00 bucks! Whoop! I’m excited though. It’s all about seizing the moment and this will be a fun life experience. I’m also trying to get us ready to leave town on Thursday. And the kids have russian school this afternoon, plus we have Bible study at our house tonight. Seriously, I have to get off the computer…

Under Construction

Hello and welcome to my new site! I’m so glad you all have followed me here.  Please bear with me the next few months as I get the site designed and I figure out the bells and whistles.  In the meantime, I will continue to update posts and will hopefully get things going by the end of the month!