My how time can bring about change. When I set up this page, I was filled with excitement and hope for the future. Today…well, I’m still filled with hope, the excitment has been crushed and I am slowly coming out of the reeling, spinning moment when everything you thought you had planned comes crashing down.

In short, I’m still dusting myself off.

When we began our quest to adopt from Russia, I knew that there was always a possibility it would fall apart. Russian adoption has been tenuous for years. Add to it the current political friction between our countries and you have a recipe for disaster.

Our completed dossier arrived in Russia the same day Putin signed a law banning Americans from adopting. My dreams came crashing down on my head at that moment and I fell into a spin of depression, heartache and doubt. Why did God call us to this place only to take it away?

I didn’t understand.

I still don’t understand.

But I believe He has a greater plan than the one I could have imagined.

As we worked toward our adoption, I felt the Lord lay a name on my heart. For most of December, I prayed for this little girl by name, the child I thought would be mine. Today I continue to pray for her. I don’t know where she is. Maybe she’s in Russia and will remain there with nothing but my prayers to sustain her.

Maybe she’s somewhere else.

Wherever she is, she has my prayers and a piece of my mother’s heart.

As Lee and I have continued to pray over this place we’re in, I’ve begun to shift my prayers a bit. Lord, how can I best defend the orphan in a way that honors You? We are looking at a host of different options, but one thing remains consistent – the Lord has given us a heart to defend the orphan and He has called us to the former Soviet Union.

So we chase after Him in this calling that feels so real and personal.

Many of you prayed for us. Many also supported us financially. Believe me when I say, we don’t take your prayers or your support lightly. We still have the funds sitting in a seperate account as we wait for the Lord to tell us what to do next. We will be contacting each of our financial supporters individually when we feel like the Lord has given us a direction so they can decide if that’s a way they still feel led to give.

We are doing our best to handle the funds we were given with integrity. We will not spend them on anything but adoption without asking first. We thank you for entrusting your dollars to us.

We took the above photograph when we were planning on starting our fundraiser. I had hoped to have it blown up and framed one day to hang in our daughter’s bedroom. The sign in the picture is written in Russian and it reads: “We’re Waiting for You.”

I’ve left that arrangement sitting on our piano and I think I’ll still frame the photo, because while I originally wrote that as a message to our daughter, I now say it every day in my prayers.


Lord, We’re Waiting for You.


Thank you for loving us through this very difficult process, friends. We couldn’t have done it without you. Here is the video that tells more about why we felt called to start this process and below I’ve included a list of the posts I wrote during our ten month adoption quest.


Other posts about the adoption:

And then there were six?

Climbing the Mountain: Part One

Climbing the Mountain: Part Two

Born of the Same Laugh

Adoption Update

Adoption Update: Month Six

Onward and Forward

We Wait, We Weep, We Pray

A Lesson learned and learned and learned again

Not Impressed

How Do You Mourn a Dying Dream?

When God Says Dream Bigger

Courageous Living


The Amazing Video was made by our dear friend, Jenni, at Avodah Images. She is wicked talented, has a heart for Jesus and is quite possibly one of the funniest people I know. She and her family will be traveling the United States in an RV next year building memories and growing closer to the Creator. This is why she is also one of the coolest chicks I know…