Say It Enough, You'll Start to Believe It
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February in Florida is divine.
So much so that I do believe we’re going to play hooky today and spend some time at the beach, because really…what good is home schooling in Florida if you can’t dip your toes in the ocean on a school day now and then, right?
Besides, we learned multiplication (Sloan), subtraction (Tia) and sentence diagramming (everyone) this week. I think we’ve earned a break, yes?
Happy weekending everyone!
We sat in a circle, the porch lit up by a string of lights and the air around filled with youthful squeals and the unabashed laughter of little ones filled with delight. For three hours we sat and when we finally rose, my cheeks ached from the smile stretched wide.
It felt good to be known.
Perhaps the most difficult aspect of this move has been the feeling of having to put on airs. When you walk into a room full of strangers, the natural reaction is to put on a smile and those people aren’t going to know if my smile is fake or not because they don’t know me. It’s not their fault. It just takes time to get to know someone.
But this golden lit circle of people was not a group of strangers. They were family. My aunt and uncle and cousins. The people we vacationed with growing up. We’ve watched one another get married, rejoiced in babies born, mourned in loss.
There is just something comforting and familiar about family. Though I haven’t lived in the same state as my cousins since we were all in diapers, we still hold fast to the bond of family that seals us together. We know each other. We’ve traveled roads together that no one can understand. We experienced heartache and joy that binds us tight and holds us fast.
On the 21st anniversary of one of the deepest hurts our family experienced, we gathered. We didn’t plan the gathering on this specific day – it just happened. And we laughed and loved and relished in one another. Many were missing, and how I wished they all could have been there, but for Lee and I the meeting was perfect. We needed to laugh. We needed family.
Sitting with them late into the night, Lee and I didn’t have to pretend and my family didn’t expect a mediocre answer. When they asked how we were doing, we told them. This is hard. Moving is stressful in a lot of ways and the last six months have been the most trying of our entire married life.
It was cathartic to share – to be able to open up and be honest. The rest of the evening was spent laughing…hard.
Our kids ran around, screaming and shrieking, delighting in one another the way my cousins and I did when we were little. It was so good and so sweet to be known. Like walking through a fountain after traveling the desert. Refreshing and cool, Lee and I came home rejoicing.
And tonight, as two teams I didn’t care about played for a title that meant nothing to me (I just broke some hearts…I’m sorry), we talked and laughed with friends. New friends who, over the last few weeks, have allowed us to open our hearts and share and laugh and cry, and old friends who not only know us from back home, but who also know well the path we’re on right now.
They’re on it too.
I have asthma and on the days when breathing in is just a little more difficult, I always relish in that one moment when I’m finally able to fill my lungs fully. My head spins a little and the panic that has begun to well up dissolves as I can finally take a much needed deep breath and I can actually feel the oxygen circulating through my body.
This weekend was a deep breath. It was needed and we drew it in deep.
My head is still spinning a little.
I gave him a goal to start the year. A goal for my first born with a natural bent for learning, but not a love for the process. “If you finish two books before the month is over, I will take you some place extra special – just you and me.”
That’s all he needed. Motivated by encouragement and a promise, he zipped through two books in less than two weeks. Perhaps the goal was too easy, but I wanted it to be attainable. I wanted him to succeed because I wanted to reward him. And today, the reward comes to be.
Sloan and I are headed to Busch Gardens today, just the two of us. Wendy wrote a whole series of posts on dating our sons (and daughters) and every post was precious, but I was particularly fond of this one. One of our Christmas gifts from my parents was season passes to Busch Gardens and I am so excited to break in those passes with Sloan.
Of my three children, fostering a relationship with Sloan has been the most difficult journey, mainly because he and I are so very much alike in a lot of ways and so very different in other ways. Add to that the fact that he is simply getting older and he needs to be fusing more to his Dad at this time in his life, and you have a recipe for hard moments in our sometimes long days.
Sloan and I need to have some uninterrupted, do what we want, no-one-pulling-my-attention-away fun and tomorrow will be that day. The weather is going to be beautiful (seriously, I totally get why people come to Florida for the winter – it’s freaky awesome), and we are going to ride rides, play games and simply enjoy one another with no set schedule.
It’s been way too long since I dated my son.
So that’s where I am today. I’m building an altar with my cherished first born; an altar of remembrance to look back on with grace and fondness and, hopefully, a few secretive giggles. A lifetime’s worth of memories awaits us.
*happy dance*
Happy Tuesday, everyone.
This was a year of change for us. Hard, painful, exciting, beautiful growth. Four seasons have passed, three children have grown and a year’s worth of life was lived. This little corner of the web has been a bit of a refuge for me. Scrolling through old posts last night I realized it got a little depressing around here for a time. As we processed the move, I found myself stuck in the contemplative ponderings of change. And so many of you stuck it out as I processed.
Thank you.
I know I’ve already said that, but I need to say it again. I don’t like to get too serious around here. I don’t know why – I guess my ultimate hope is to make you all smile. Life is fun and there is so much joy to be had.
But sometimes life is also hard. Winter settles in and you have to search a bit more for the beauty in the frosty darkness. A dear friend told me during this more difficult time of transition that she could always tell when things weren’t quite right. “Your writing takes a completely different tone,” said said. “It’s still beautiful, but I just know that your heart is aching a bit more than usual.”
But inevitably winter must thaw and joy breaks through once more. We’re walking toward spring and it’s balmy and sweet. And funny.
So without further ado, I give you 2011 in review:
In January, I laughed until I cried and I beseeched my male readership to please, for the love of all things holy explain to me the obssession with Star Trek. (Best I could tell, Star Trek is to men what Twilight is to women…)
In Feburary, I threw one heck of a pink princess party and lived to tell the tale.
In March I gave you the first sneak peek into my novel (which I will finish in 2012 – hold me to that, internets!). Oh, and my dorky husband and I made a movie about how hot minivans actually are.
In April my first grader and I debated Creationism and the Big Bang theory. Later Tia and I discussed whether or not she would be able to do handstands in heaven while Landon swore up one side and down the other he saw a kangaroo on the side of the road. My kids are so delightfully weird.
In May I did NOT feel bad about Bin Laden’s death, and I mercilessly mocked my husband’s shoulder shaking dance moves. Oh yeah…and I lost my cool pants. Or maybe I never had them?
In June I gave you all a cavity with the sweetest pictures of childhood ever published. I also traveled to Montreal and spent the day on a movie set where I interviewed Christine Baransky, died laughing at my husband’s reasoning for why the kids should not touch a bird’s nest and I dug down deep and got more personal than I’ve ever done before.
In July Jennifer Aniston did my hair, we announced our impending move to Florida and my posts got a bit contemplative.
In August people disrespected my smokin’ hot minivan and it was suggested I add ghost flames down the side. I also announced our intention to homeschool and I went to Hollywood and took a million pictures of myself at a movie premiere.
In September I explained why I would not be raising a bimbo of a daughter, then we all rejoiced as she made the most beautiful decision. We also found ourselves finally settling into a home after three months of living like nomads.
In October we worked with our son on toughening up and learning to play with the big boys. Then I humbled myself and admitted to my tendency toward acting like a true blonde.
In November I cried a freakin’ river for a second time, then my daughter and I were scarred for life when we walked in on a man in an airplane bathroom with his pants around his ankles. And I officially coined the phrase “Air Butt.” I also wrote this post, which is another one of my favorites.
Which brings us to December. I found out my eyes have betrayed me this month, I contemplated the value of a man when Albert Pujols left the Cardinals for the Angels, I admitted my aversion to Math (maybe I’m allergic to numbers…) and I died my hair pink.
It’s been quite a year and I couldn’t be more excited to head into 2012. I have big dreams, several goals and a lot of confidence. I think it’s the hair that’s given me a little boost. I hope you’ll join me as we jump into the new year. Perhaps we could all take a lesson from my youngest and leap with reckless abandon and unabashed joy.
Who’s with me? What are you looking forward to and hoping to accomplish this year?
It was a beautiful December day here in the Sunshine State. Days like today are why people spend their winters in Florida. We spent much of the day soaking in the warm rays of the sun, while also being delighted with a cool breeze.
For those of you who live somewhere cold, please don’t hate me.
The view from my perch.
Around 1:00, the natives grew restless. I didn’t feel right letting them watch a movie on a day like today, and in return they didn’t feel right about letting me sit poolside and read.
Savages.
So after an hour of hearing about the injustice of such imposed boredom and the true cruelty of expecting them to entertain themselves I packed up the antsy brood and off we went to the park where I planned to continue my lounging while they ran off pent up energy.
Upon arriving at the park, I rejoiced to find a long swinging bench mercifully vacant and I settled in for a bit of relaxation only to discover that the smallest of the children had different plans in mind.
“Hey Mom, wanna play house wif us?” Landon asked. I looked over at Tia who widened her eyes pleadingly, which is a completely unfair tactic. Puppy dog eyes are cruel and unusual.
“What do I have to do to play house?” I asked wearily.
“How about you be the Mom and we’ll be the kids,” Tia answered.
Um…
“Okay,” I said. “Kids, go play and let Mommy rest for a bit!”
“No, Mom! That’s not how you play!” Foot stomp.
Seriously?! Puppy dog eyes and a foot stomp? She’s good, ladies and gentlemen.
“But I’m the Mom so I can tell you what to do, right?”
“No, Mom. You have to get up and come over here and drive us to school. Then you have to take us to the store and then you have to take us to Chuck E Cheese. That’s how you play!”
Funny. I always assumed that playing pretend actually took us out of real life.
“Okay,” I said. “But this swinging bench is my car so hop in.” And away we drove. I dropped them off at school, then picked them up, then we headed to the store.
“C’Mon, let’s go shop.”
“Uumm…” I stalled. “Let’s pretend I broke my leg and I have to ride in one of the motorized carts at the store. This bench will be my cart.”
“Aw, yeah!” they yelled and away we went. Notice that so far, I haven’t had to move from my bench.
Finally the “errands” were done and we arrived home. “Alright, you guys go play now,” I said waving them on, stepping out of my role as pretend Mom and into my role as real Mom. It’s all very confusing, I know…
“No, Mom! Now you need to make dinner!”
*sigh*
“Tell you what,” I reasoned. “How about you be the Mom now and I will be the long lost Aunt who came for a visit, okay?”
“Alright! What’s your name?”
“Uh…Toto? Oh and hey – let’s pretend that I came from far, far away and I’m super tired so I have to lay down and sleep. How does that sound?”
“Hey, yeah!” they cried. “And this bench can be your bed and we will rock you while you sleep!”
Deal!
So I laid down, closed my eyes and they rocked me back and forth, back and forth until I literally began dozing off.
“Mom. Hey Mom!” They shook me and I squinted up into their displeased eyes.
“This game is boring,” Tia said with a frown. “We don’t want to play anymore.”
“Yeah,” echoed Landon. “It’s bowing.”
“Can we go play on the playground?” Tia asked.
I looked at them for a silent moment then let out a small sigh. “Well, alright. If you really want to go play, I guess I don’t mind.” And off they ran, forgetting all about needing my entertainment. I laid back down then, my swing moving slowly back and forth in the afternoon breeze. Alone.
Seriously. I should get some kind of award for that…
This post comes to you with a sheepish, yet polite, request for help. I hate talkin’ shop, but wanted to just toss a few little things out there. Don’t worry, though. This post won’t be all dry. I’ve got a gem of a story to tell you at the end.
It’s my dangling carrot.
So here’s the deal, friends. I stink at self-promotion. It makes me wildly uncomfortable. As I told someone recently, it makes me feel a bit like the girl standing on top of a table in a crowded room and screaming LOOK AT ME!! And I’ve never been much of a table top kind of girl.
Ahem.
But, my goal in the next few months is to beef up the readership and participation on my blog. And to do that, I need your help. If you read something on here that you like, would you mind forwarding it on? You can hit the little Facebook button at the bottom of the page, or if you’re the Tweetin’ kind, you can give a little Tweet.
You know…if you want.
Also, well I don’t talk about it much and, to be quite honest, I don’t utilize it much, but I DO have a Minivans Are Hot Facebook page that you can like by clicking riiiiiiight…here. You don’t have to drive a minivan to like the Facebook page, but I will warn you that should you choose to follow the blog AND the Facebook page, you will likely start to feel the pull of the minivan.
Because minivans are bringing sexy back.
Huh?
Whatever.
If you do read something you like and have a second or two to respond, well, I’ll confess – I’m a bit of a comment whore. I promise I will respond to you…or you can respond to one another. I like community so let’s build a community of minivan lovin’ (or hatin’ – you know who you are) women…and men, too. I know you guys are reading.
Finally in the manner of business, I would like to ask if there’s anything you guys would like me to specifically write about. Is there are particular topic you like better? Is there something you’d like me to avoid discussing (the frequency of my childrens bowel movements? DONE! – Look how accommodating I am)?
Seriously – let me know.
Now, on to that carrot:
The Scene:
A beautiful, sunny Florida afternoon. The kids are playing outside while I enjoy a few quiet moments alone to do whatever I want – which means I’m cleaning the kitchen…again. The windows are open and a beautiful, cool fall breeze is drifting in. Nothing can break the perfection of this moment. Nothing, that is, until I hear a scream that rattles the glass throughout the house.
The back door flings open aaaaaaaaand CUE DIALOGUE!
“Mooooooooommmmm!!!” Tia shrieks, running into the house all sweaty and red-faced. Sloan comes running after her with a tormentuous (this is my blog – if I say that’s a word…it’s a word) grin on his face.
“What in the world?” I say as she throws her arms around my waist and cries. “What’s going on?”
“Sloan stole my gun!” She cried. Sloan throws his hands up in mock innocence. “What’d I do?” he yells.
“What gun, Tia?” I ask, detaching her from my leg.
“My pwetend gun! I was fightin’ the bad guys with it and Sloan took it and now the bad guys are gonna kill me!”
Pause.
Uuuuummm.
“Tia, if it’s a pretend gun, can’t you just get another one?” I try my best to say this without rolling my eyes.
“Nope, she can’t,” Sloan says with a smirk. “Because I destroyed all the guns in the imaginary gun shop.”
“Yeah!” Tia cries again. “And he ate the pie I made for Justin Bieber who was gonna come over for dinner at my pwetend house! I don’t LIKE Sloan.” She stomps her foot and runs to her room, slamming her door.
“Whatever!” Sloan yells in return, huffing to his room.
Landon walks in at this moment and strolls past me with string and a crowbar tucked under his arms.
And this folks is why I am slowly but surely losing. my. mind.
The End.
We had the unique privilege last night to watch lives being forever changed when my cousin and her husband arrived home from Ethiopia with the two little boys they adopted. It was a party as a throng of people cheered, welcoming the boys into the family.
A picture of grace.
Cousins excited and waiting to meet the boys.
All the cousins who were able to make it to the airport. We've got quite a crew when everyone is together.
Me with three of my cousins. Have I ever mentioned I have the greatest family on the planet? And that's my joker kid's fingers making bunny ears...
The excited welcoming committee
They're here and they are shocked and a bit overwhelmed by the response.
The new mom getting a hug from her mom. *tears*
Total bewilderment
A thrilled grandmother.
Beauty
Two little boys whose lives will never be the same.
A family united.
“But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.”
Galatians 4:4-5
I pray this weekend brings you joy, laughter and some much needed rest.
Get outside and enjoy the beautiful fall weather.
Eat, drink and be merry.
And if you haven’t yet seen The Dolphin Tale, I highly recommend you go.
We’ve been coming to visit Winter for years and she is truly a delight. She’s adorable, sweet and loaded with personality.
If, for some reason, you are unable to feel happiness, just take a look at this face and try not to smile.
Blessings.
– This week I refinished Tia’s furniture with the help of my St. Louis neighbor turned Florida bestie, Carol. It was brown, now it’s white. I’ll share pictures once I have her room all put together. All I can say is I had tons of fun decorating a little girl’s room for the very first time.
– This week I began a strict eating regiment in an effort to finally kick those last ten baby pounds to the curb.
– This week I drank lots of green tea. Lots and lots of green tea.
– This week I spent less time on the computer and more time just being still.
– This week I prayed some very specific prayers and love the expectation as I await the outcome.
– This week I missed my friends in St. Louis. A lot.
– This week I had dinner with new friends here in Tampa.
– This week I wrote a new post for 5 Minutes for Mom on parenting.
– This week I’ve fallen into more than one of the traps I wrote about in the aforementioned 5 Minutes for Mom post. *sigh*
– This week I got really, really lost.
– This week I was grateful for the GPS on my fancy pants phone.
– This week I was glad I got lost because I passed some really lovely areas that I’d like to go back and visit…if I can find them.
– This week I got my 4 frillion pictures and frame semi-organized. They’re not on the walls, yet, but at least they’re not in the middle of the floor, right?
– This week I realized just how much I love my CoffeeMate Peppermint Mocha creamer when I couldn’t use it in my coffee.
– This week I did not paint Landon’s room like I said I would. It’s still just primed. Poor kid. Has a Mama who’s a craptastic painter.
– This week I cried once.
– This week I laughed a lot.
– This week I took pictures of the moon.
– This week I wished I was a better photographer so I could capture just how awesome the moon was as it rose over the trees.
– This week I also got a quick shot of a half moon.
– This week I wrote more on my novel.
– This week I asked for humility. Less of me, more of Him.
– This week I have been really tired.
– This week I say good-bye to my parents as they fly off to London for another month. Methinks they enjoy being empty-nesters.
– This week has been a good week.
And how is your week going?
When we began our house search in sunny Florida, we initially told our Realtor we did NOT want a pool. Neither one of us grew up with a pool, therefore the idea of keeping and maintaining one was desperately daunting.
Then we started looking at houses and we realized two things: 1.) Finding a house without a pool in Florida is almost as difficult as finding a house without a basement in St. Louis. They’re almost standard. And 2.) Of the few houses we saw without pools, none were desirable enough for us to get excited.
So we ended up in a house with a pool. And we were nervous. But no need to fear! The owner of our local pool store came out free of charge and gave us a “Pool School,” telling us anything and everything we need to know about pool maintenance. In exchange we plan to give him our business. And that’s the way you run a successful business, folks!
For our part, we are officially glad we got a house with a pool. We have used it every single day and will continue to do so until it gets too cold (we don’t have a heater). The pool has been enjoyable both day and night.
Warning to Grandparents! The following photos contain images of your grandchildren being flung to precarious heights. View at your own discretion…
This child of mine is insane. She is going to send me to an early grave.
He's crazy too. But he had sense enough to know his limits. "Dat's too high, Daddy."
She, on the other hand, came out of the water screeching, "Higher next time, Dad! HIGHER!"
This one has, unfortunately, gotten a little too big for maximum flinging...much to his chagrin.
This week has been full of unexpected blessings. Walking the dog last night, I looked up and the sky took my breath away. Our neighborhood is far enough outside of the city that we get an unpolluted view of the night sky.
Spectacular.
Our neighbors are fun, friendly and have boys who love to play football.
Our house, minor quirks aside, is really coming together and feeling like home.
Home Schooling is going really, really well.
Today were the Powerboat races at Clearwater Beach. With temps in the upper ’70’s it made for the perfect ending to a lovely weekend.
So many blessings.
Front row seats to the race. It's kind of difficult to get a photo of Landon in the water because he's always upside down. I'm pretty sure the kid's got gills...
I pray you all have a blessed October week!
Is anyone else totally freaked out by the fact that it’s October?! The holiday season is upon us, folks. How did it get here so fast?!
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