He Is Dad: A Repost

Today is my Dad’s birthday and while I’d like to write up a lovely tribute in his honor, I’m not sure I can top what I wrote last year.  So I am going to repost it with a great big, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD attached to it.

Many of you already read this, so don’t feel like you need to read it again.  But, if you’d like to leave my Dad a Happy Birthday comment, I’m sure it would make his day…and maybe embarrass him just a little bit.  Which given the fact that he thrived on embarrassing me in high school, I’d say that would  be a fitting gift.

I love you, Dad.

Originally posted October 10, 2010

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I am two or three years old*. I’m on stage at our church singing my first solo – Away in a Manger. My hair is curled and I have on a lacy dress. Is it blue? I can’t remember. I am standing in front of the mic singing and he is below, at the bottom of the steps, with a camera in his hand. He is skinny and has thick brown hair that sits atop his head like a football helmet. He has a mustache that looks like it needs to be combed every day.

He is Daddy.

I am six year old. I am wobbling down our Wisconsin driveway on two wheels. He is running along beside me. “Pedal faster!” “You’re doing great!” “Keep your head up!” “You can do it!” He lets go and I take off, thrilled at my accomplishment.

He is encourager.

I am seven years old. We are driving in the car and the tape deck is blaring Paul Simon. He is singing loudly, drumming the steering wheel. “I can call you Betty and Betty when you call me, you can caaaallll meee Al. Call me Al.” He laughs and I laugh too. And together we sing.

He is fun.

I am nine years old. It’s Christmas morning and my brother and I are sitting at the top of the steps waiting for our parents to let us come down to open presents. It’s 4:00 am. I hear mom stumbling through the kitchen making coffee. She comments about the ungodly hour of our awaking and I hear him laugh. The he comes around the corner singing “We wish you a Merry Christmas” and we know it’s safe to come down. We tear into the living room to see the tree lit and him dancing around it.

He loves Christmas morning.

I am ten years old and we are at Busch Gardens water park in Tampa. I want to go down the big, plunging water slide but I’m nervous. He tells me that if I do it he will do it. Never one to back down from a challenge, I go down the water slide and he follows suit, shaking his head the whole time. “I didn’t think you’d do it,” he admits sheepishly as he climbs the stairs.

He keeps his promises.

I am eleven. He brings us into the living room and sits us down. He tells us that he got a new job and we’re going to move to a place I’ve never heard of – St. Louis. I cry and react with prepubescent flair. “I don’t care if it’s a neat city. I don’t know anyone there. I don’t waaannnna go.” He is probably hurt by my reaction, but he doesn’t let on.

He is understanding.

I am twelve years old. The neighbor boy is taunting and pushing me so I take a swing at him. He swings back and a full blown fight breaks loose. I land a punch and he takes off running. Later that night his mom calls to inform us that I gave her son a black eye. After I get the obligatory “you can’t get into fist fights” lecture he looks at me and grins, winks and says, “Way to go, slugger.”

He is awesome.

I am twelve years old. My mom received a call in the middle of the night that her sister was in a coma after having a severe reaction to a surgery. I get home from school and he is there, standing in the kitchen – waiting. “Where’s mom?” I ask. “She left on a flight to South Carolina,” he answered softly. “How’s Aunt Joy?” I ask, dread settling in. He pulls me close. “She passed away,” he whispered. This is my first encounter with death. And he holds me.

He is comforting.

I’m in eighth grade. My parents have temporary custody of my three cousins. The house is filled with emotionally confused children. We fight incessantly. He is in the middle of Washington University’s MBA program. Life is hard. I walk into his room one night to see him sitting at the desk staring blankly at the wall. I give him a hug.

He is stressed.

I’m a high school sophomore and I play saxophone for my high school Jazz Band. We are in Columbia for the All State competition. We are playing a difficult piece that I struggled to learn. We win first place. As a former Jazz Bander I know he is excited. I see him clapping his hands raw.

He is proud.

I am sixteen and I’ve had my driver’s license for all of 48 hours when I go to a school football game. While pulling into a parking space I hit another car, denting my car all the way down the side. Let me say that again for effect…I hit a parked car! I call him from a post-game party at a friend’s house after deciding that I shouldn’t let my guy friends try to bang out the dents with a hammer.

He is angry.

I’m a high school junior and I’m sitting on the floor of my room trying for the life of me to figure out the sum of x divided by y multiplied by 4,899. Algebra…the bane of my existence. He comes in and sits beside me. He takes a halting breath and tells me he lost his job. Then he cries and apologizes. He is out of work for several months before getting a pretty interesting and lucrative offer in Seattle. It would be a great career move. But he ultimately declines and accepts a job here in St. Louis that is a 25% pay decrease so he doesn’t have to uproot us.

He is self sacrificing.

It’s the summer before my senior year and he takes me on a trip to Colorado for a week. We challenge each other to climb mountains, we white water raft and we spend a week exploring. He lets me vent and complain about all my teenagery problems. I am angsty and hormonal and not always pleasant, but he pushes forward and we make memories – just the two of us.

He is involved.

I’m a senior in high school and preparing to graduate. Our church has a Sunday morning dedication to graduating seniors and he blubbers in the microphone about how I “better not bring home some snot nosed little Texas boy asking to marry me.”

He is a softie.

I am a sophomore in college performing in my first dinner theater. He stands in the back and video tapes the whole thing. I can hear him whistling and shouting on the tape.

He is supportive.

It’s 1998 and I’m studying in Ukraine for a semester. He calls and says he’ll be in London over Thanksgiving and asks if I’d like to meet him there. He picks me up from the airport on Thanksgiving night and we go to a Pizza Hut in London for dinner.

He is a great date.

I’m a junior in college and the family comes for a long weekend. I introduce them to a “friend” named Lee who spends an odd amount of time talking with them. Later when they drive home he tells mom that “that boy was awfully interested for someone who is just a friend.”

He is discerning.

I am twenty two and we are preparing to walk down the aisle. I have tears in my eyes as I look at him. He looks back with tear filled eyes. I am grateful for him and I know our relationship is going to change….I didn’t know it would change for the better. In that moment I was so flooded with love for him that I turned into a weepy, blubbery mess.

He is Father of the Bride.

I’m twenty five, lying in a hospital bed, and I hand him a squirming little bundle. He picks up his first grandchild and smiles gently. Even though I know that hospitals make him uncomfortable and he’s worried about how I’m doing, I see his face light up.

He is Grandpa Boss.

I am thirty *ahem* and I need business advice. I call him and he spends time he doesn’t have talking with me, giving me guidance, editing contracts and developing my professionalism. I call, email, text him multiple times and despite the fact that he is wicked busy, he takes the time to help me out.

He is advisor.

He is wise, discerning, strong, tender-hearted and giving. He loses his temper easily but is even quicker to ask for forgiveness. He is humble and I can almost guarantee he’ll tell me I’m giving him much more credit than he deserves. He is gracious and funny and has a wicked sense of humor. He works hard (too hard) but also knows how to relax.

He is Dad.

And who am I? I am that proud and grateful daughter who kind of adores him.

Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you!

*There is a great likelihood that I did not get all of the details of the early memories exactly right. They often appear to me as small snippets, like a technicolor film (never black and white…I’m not that old). I did the best I could to list accurate details. :)

For Bebe

Today is my wonderful Mother-in-Law’s birthday.  This is the part where I reveal yet another flaw…I stink at putting cards in the mail.  Seriously stink at it.  I always forget, often times even buying, signing and addressing the card then forgetting to actually mail it.  It is a design flaw in my character, I’m sure.

How’s that for deferring blame, huh?

What I lack in planning and forward thinking, though, I try to make up for in creativity…and a well timed phone call.  The kids are speaking with their Bebe right now.  I told them to sing to her…that’s better than a card, right?  I also combined our handwriting and grammar lesson today with a little birthday surprise for Bebe.  So, without further ado, I give you Sloan’s journal entry:

“I Love my Bebe because, she is very beuteful.”  She lives in areKensaew, and she has 6 grandchildren.  Cade is the oldest one.  Cade has two brothers, Eli and Sam.  I like when Bebe does creepee crolee.  Bebe is a wonderful grama.  When I see Bebe I am happy, so I run up to her.

His instructions were to write 7-8 sentences, with at least one of them a compound sentence.  He started learning dialogue yesterday and I adore his random use of quotations.  It just makes me smile.

Tia and Landon were interviewed separately on what they love about Bebe.  Landon’s answers are so random I had to scratch my head.  But I wrote exactly what he said.

I love it when Bebe:

Tia: “Goes somewhere with me.”

Landon: “Goes to da store and buys tennis shoes for me.”

I like to go:

Tia: “To the store and buy new shoes and clothes with Bebe.”

Landon: “To California with Bebe.” No – they have never been to California together…

Bebe makes me laugh when she:

Tia: “Talks funny wif her accent.”

Landon: “When she plays Crazy 8′s.”

My favorite time with Bebe is:

Tia: “Going out somewhere and going on a date together.”

Landon: “When we can go to Chuck E Cheese.”

When I see Bebe I like to:

Tia: “Run up to her and kiss her.”

Landon: “Go eat cotton candy.”

I think Bebe is:

Tia: “A great Grandma.  And beautiful.”

Landon: “Pwetty and nice.”

I wish I could:

Tia: “Do stuff with Bebe.”

Landon: “Go on da boat wif Bebe.”

Bebe always likes:

Tia: “To make dinner for us and I like that.”

Landon: “Go to da store.” Both of these answers made me laugh out loud.  Bebe knows why…

I always think of Bebe when I see:

Tia: “Her.  Whenever she goes somewhere I ask to go with her.”

Landon: “A ghost.” HA!

 

Happy Birthday, Bebe.  We love you and are always blessed by you.

I laughed until I cried

I am eight years old and riding in the backseat of our silver Cougar on the way home from church.  It’s cold but we live in Wisconsin so that’s just par for the course.  My brother stares out the window memorizing every street sign and landmark we pass, as he was known for his astute observations when riding in cars.

I am watching my parents.  I’m seeing their interaction.  I don’t remember what they were talking about on this day – I’m not even sure I could hear them.  But I know they’re happy.  I know this because my dad laughs.

Clearly I, too, am astute in observation, yes?

The sound of my dad’s laugh always made my heart soar.  It was so delightful, so spontaneous.  When Dad laughed, I swore that two more stars popped up in the atmosphere.  It just seemed magical to hear him laugh out loud.

Mom followed suit, adding in her own cackle.  As we drove down the road, they laughed hysterically.  Though Brett and I didn’t have a clue what was funny, we joined in the merriment, because who can sit stoney faced when a delightful joke has been told?  We laughed all the way home, not because anything was spectacularly funny, but because the joy had spread and we bubbled over.

Last night, we went with the kids to a Family Night at the Magic House for Tia’s preschool.  As we drove home, Tia blessed us all with a meltdown of epic proportions.  Her name hadn’t been drawn in the raffle and the world as she knew it was coming to an end.  Couple that with the fact that she hadn’t had a nap that day and she was wickedly overstimulated and it seemed that life as this almost five year old knew it was devastated permanently.

For those who have been trapped in a car with a melting down four year old, you know the insanity that ensues.  It is as if the car will implode with every tear shed, every moan, every groan, every kick of the feet.  In perfect rhythm, Tia moaned.  A deep, gutteral sound that seemed to resonate from her toes and work it’s way out of her mouth like the rumble of motorboat that comes up on you from behind, then roars past.

And I was losing my mind.

I turned and in my sternest mom voice commanded her to stop crying.  Which, in case you’re wondering, commanding someone who’s crying out of control to stop is not effective.  That piece of parenting advice comes to you free of charge.

You’re welcome.

So I tried the next tactic.  I told her to keep crying, but just cry without making sound.

“Aaaaahhhhhhh.”  “Aaaaaaahhhhhh.”  “Aaaaaahhhhh…” came the reply.  Like a sonic wave it repeated over and over and I felt my brain begin the painful process of implosion.  So I resorted to what can only be reffered to as Stellar Parenting 101.

“Tia,” I said, my voice sharp – but loving…of course.  “Stop crying. Now.  Stop making sounds.”  And then, as the next words flowed from my mouth I tried to make them stop.  “Stop making sounds…from your throat.”

As soon as I said that, I heard how ridiculous it sounded.  Lee snorted, I buried my face in my coat and we both lost it.  Painful laughter.  The kind that makes your stomach hurt.  Tears flowing down our cheeks leaving a trail of joy and relief behind.  We laughed out loud, doubled over, clutching our sides.

And then…

Her crying stopped.  “Why are you laughing?” she demanded.  We couldn’t answer.  We were laughing too hard.  And anyway, it was only funny to us – she wouldn’t understand.

Stop making sounds from your throat?

We howled and cackled and every synonym for laughter that you can think of, we did it.  Before long, all three kids joined in.  They didn’t understand.  They didn’t know what was funny.  They just knew that laughter and joy were present.  My brain resolidified into a coherent, usable mass and once again the world was right.  Tia forgot why she was crying and chose laughter instead.

And that was the day we saved the world…one cackle at a time.

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I had a wonderful experience at Blissdom this year.  I hope to tell you about it in bits and pieces through my posts.  I was challenged in my writing, in thinking outside the box in business and in expanding my use of multimedia.  Hopefully you will see the results of my time at Blissdom rather than have to read about them.

Wrestling with Daddy

It’s just too much fun…

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The Wedding

We ended our vacation with a stop in Mobile, Alabama, where we watched and participated in the wedding of my cousin, Whitney, to her new husband, Jordan.  It was beautiful and emotional and perfect and I’m so glad we got to be there to see this union take place.

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Whitney has overcome more hardship and pain than most people will see in two lifetimes.  She is a true picture of beauty from ashes.  She’s not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well.  When she was five, she and her brother and sister spent a year living with my family.  I was thirteen at the time and I adored having a little “sister” to dress up and play with.  I curled her hair, put make up on her and doted on her daily.  I learned her tap dance routines and taught her silly songs to perform in front of others.  I don’t know if it was fun for her, but I enjoyed having a real life baby doll.

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 Whitney asked Sloan and Tia if they would serve as flowergirl and ring bearer.  It was an honor for them to take part and after they got over their initial trepidation at standing up in front of a lot of people (and having to watch the bride and groom kiss – Ew!) they had a great time.

And the number of times that they’ve played bride and groom since the wedding?  Five.  And counting.

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 I was so proud of how great the kids did before, during and after the wedding.

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 Whitney’s mom died in February of 1991 when Whitney was only 5.  I was twelve and I don’t remember much about my Aunt Joy.  There are snippets that come to me periodically, like flashes in time.  I remember her laugh and her smile and I have a CD of her singing, but other than that, the memories are vague.  But my mom and my other aunts and uncles remember well.  And all of them say that Whitney is so much like her mom it’s frightening.

She’s the life of the party. 

She’s got an infectious laugh.

She loves people and she loves Jesus.

I’m so proud of her.

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 My cousin Randy’s little girl joined Tia in the role of flowergirl.  Can you tell these two are related?

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 I do believe that Sloan developed a bit of a crush on Whitney.  He followed her around like a puppy dog all day long and asked to have no less than fifty pictures taken with her. 

“She is so beautiful, Mom,” he told me. 

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 Tia has become enamored with playing “bwide” since we got home.  She puts her fancy shoes on and taps around the house saying “I Do.”  I’ve drawn the line at her and Sloan kissing.  They’ll thank me one day.

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 I wish that my aunt could have been there on Saturday.  She would have been brimming with pride at the young woman that Whitney has become.  I know that in heaven there are no more tears of sorrow so I doubt that those who have gone on before us can literally watch and see what’s happening to the loved ones left behind.  Because if they could, then surely they would experience sorrow at the pain that is ever present on this Earth.

I do hope, however, that in moments of joy, such as Saturday’s wedding, those who dwell in heaven experience an extra measure of joy, peace, love and contentment.  And since one day on Earth is like 1,000 years in heaven, I hope that Joy experienced 1,000 years of extra happiness and joy over the union of her daughter to such a wonderful man.

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 Sloan was such a little man.

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 And Tia was a great helper to little Hayley.

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 And Whitney beamed with such force as she walked down the isle that I worried her face might split in two.

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 Sloan, of course, got a little bored during the ceremony.  It gave him plenty of time, however, to smell the roses.  And, of course, when the bride and groom kissed he giggled and blushed and shook his head.  Because just…ew.

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 Tia got to hold Whitney’s bouquet during the ceremony.  It weighed easily 5 pounds.  She was a real trooper.  Doesn’t she look like she’s having the time of her life?

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 Mr. and Mrs. Jordan Van Matre.  They have a rich heritage to uphold and continue.  I have no doubt that they are fully equipped and prepared to carry on the rich legacy of this family.

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 My Aunt Tammy made a lot of sacrifices to raise Whitney alongside her own four children.  And she and my Uncle Cletis did a great job making sure that this little girl, who was a broken, scared 9 year old when they got her, grew into a confident woman of God. 

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Equally, my mom and dad also made sacrifices, pouring energy, wisdom and hope into Whitney’s life.  They also raised Whitney’s brother and supported Whitney’s older sister as they grew.  My Uncle Dusty, the oldest of the Cooper siblings, was also a pillar of support.  As the male head of the family, he has been a constant for all of us.  I am honored to be a part of such a unique and loving family.

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It was a time to reconnect for my cousins and I, and for our kids to begin making memories together.  My cousins’ girls and Tia all lined up for the tossing of the bouquet.  Emerson, my cousin Sean’s daughter, ended up catching it, much to her delight.  Girl shrieks abounded.

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 Look closely everyone – this could quite possibly be the future President and First Lady of the United States.

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It was the perfect end to our vacation.  Now we’re home and it’s back to reality.  I went to the store this morning and gave them my right arm and right leg for groceries and school supplies.  The house appears to have been hit by a tornado and it smells quite a bit like rotten dog.

*sigh*

To be a newlywed again.

Weekend Favorites

I am in total vacation mode.  I cannot think long enough to put together a coherent sentence most of the time (because I’m relaxed, though I have admittedly had a few Margaritas, an amazing Sweet Tea Mojito and some wine…not all today, of course…Sigh.  Never mind.)

My point is – blogging and writing are not on the top of my list.  That’s a good thing.  I needed the break.  But I feel bad – like I’m letting my readers down (all ten of you).  So I’m sorry.  Not so sorry that I will promise to regale you with witty tales of our beach days, of coures, but sorry nonetheless.

Ahem.

The weekend was fabulous, but went by far too quickly.  Lee arrived Wednesday night.  We celebrated our anniversary on Thursday with our kids.  We went to the beach, we swam in the pool, we ate dinner out with my parents where Sloan got to experience his first grouper sandwich (it was bigger than his head and he managed to finish almost all of it).  Later that night we snuck away to our favorite spot on Clearwater beach where we sat next to the firepit and watched the sun set whilst drinking the aforementioned Margaritas.

Bliss.

We took a boat ride this weekend, we swam a lot, we relaxed, we tried paddle boarding for the first time, we attempted to kayak on the paddle board together only to realize there was no way we were going to make it without becoming shark bait, we played games on my mom’s ipad and proceeded to fight over it because we all wanted to play something different, we took naps - we vacationed.

Then Lee went home and we all cried.  But the kids and I have another week and a half here and we have plenty of fun in store – including a trip to Busch Gardens.  For now I will leave you with a few photos because I’m so tired that my eyelids are waving the white flag and my brain is threatening to implode.

I hereby give you – The Weekend.

The kids played ball with my dad who they call "Boss."

The kids played ball with my dad who they call "Boss."

Lee and I played kissy face on our anniversary, thoroughly grossing Sloan out.

Lee and I played kissy face on our anniversary, thoroughly grossing Sloan out.

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We've done a lot of jumping into the pool. They're starting to get crazy.

They are diving, flipping, twisting and turning into the pool. The only thing they haven't tried is a back flip. I'm okay with that.

They are diving, flipping, twisting and turning into the pool. The only thing they haven't tried is a back flip. I'm okay with that.

Lee spent a significant amount of time flinging them into the air.

Lee spent a significant amount of time flinging them into the air.

One of our favorite things to do with the kids is take them to The Sand Pearl at sunset.  Lee and I sit by the fire and the kids run around in the sand with glow sticks.  A massive lightening storm foiled our plans the other night, but after the storm was over we walked down to my parent’s dock to see this spectacular sunset.

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Pardon my beach hair. When I'm down here I refuse to dry my hair or wear makeup.

Pardon my beach hair. When I'm down here I refuse to dry my hair or wear makeup.

Since Landon was so little the last time we came here, it’s been fun to watch him rediscover Florida.  He is a fish, refusing to get out of the water every time we swim.  He loves the sand and has found a particular fondness for chasing seagulls.  All around he’s having a blast.  The only glitch is bedtime.  He still sleeps in a crib at home.  Here, he’s on an air mattress in the same room as Sloan and Tia.  He seems to think that bedtime is party time every night.

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We spent Lee’s last morning with us at the beach where we made new friends, swam and dove for Sand Dollars.  Sloan and Tia each collected five or six.  They are now sitting in a bucket of bleach so that we can paint them and turn them into Christmas ornaments.

Paddle Boarding.  This is good fun.

Paddle Boarding. This is good fun.

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And finally – Lee found this on the ocean floor while diving for Sand Dollars.  It’s not exactly buried treasure, but it gave us all a good laugh.

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Lovely.

One more thing – Clearwater is on the Gulf side of the state.  And there is not a drop of oil here.  But their economy is hurting.  It’s very sad.  So if any of you have a trip planned down here that you’re considering cancelling because of oil, please don’t!  It’s gorgeous down here and the water is perfectly clear.  Just wanted to throw that in.

Happy Monday.

Let Freedom Ring

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Trying to stay dry from the rain that fell for about ten minutes before the fireworks started.

Trying to stay dry from the rain that fell for about ten minutes before the fireworks started.

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My Stud Muffin with his Stud Muffie

I can’t get enough of watching Landon handle a ball.  From what I hear, he’s better at two than his daddy was, which is apparently a big deal.  It’s just so fun to watch him get hold of a basketball and start dribbling.  He is now starting to run and dribble and he gets a very intense look on his face when he does it.  I love that the child who was named after his dad (his middle name is Lee) is so much like his dad.  And I love watching the kids play with their dad.  Landon shares his daddy’s love and skill in basketball.  Sloan shares his dad’s love and skill in golf.  And Tia shares her dad’s love for competition.  They all got a little bit of him.

As you can see, Daddy gets a bit intense about dribbling a ball.  So much so that sometimes he has to be reminded to share.  Ha!

My husband is hot.  S’okay – you can agree with me.  :)

I found this picture on my computer this morning and it made me smile.  I love my family…

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The Plague is Upon Us!

Good grief. We were back at the pediatrician yesterday, this time for Landon. That’s 80 bucks in co-pays in just five days! Poor little guy has a terrible cold. Of course, yesterday when I took him, he was just congested but his lungs were fine. Today his nose seems a little better, but he has the most awful sounding cough. We are just praying that this clears up soon and doesn’t worsen into the dreaded RSV. The only advice the dr. had for us at this point was to sit in a steamy bathroom with him, which I did for about 40 minutes at 3:00 this morning. I guess it helped a little but he still seems pretty miserable. As long as his breathing remains regulated and his color stays pink we should be okay. So far so good in those areas…
I’m learning a lot right now about God’s perfect will and His Providence in our lives. I’m reading a great book called With God in Russia about a priest who was falsely imprisoned in the Soviet Union during World War II. He was an American priest who went over there to share God’s love with the Russians, but was ultimately accused of espionage. He spent 15 years in a Siberian labor camp before he was finally released and sent back to the United States. His attitude and recollections toward that time are amazing and convicting. But one thing he says over and over is that he relied on the knowledge that God had a purpose and a plan and that he was in that place for a reason and that reason was to bring glory to God. Even when he spent an entire year in solitary confinement, he looked for every opportunity to glorify God and spent hours a day in prayer and meditation. In light of that, my momentary trials seem pale. I am trying to spend more time today thinking about how I can glorify God in this situation and less about how I can feel sorry for myself and how tired I am. It’s 8:43 right now and so far I’ve had a pretty good attitude. We’ll see how I do at 5:00. That’s the true test! Anyway, that’s me this morning…