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The gene that skipped me

February 15, 2011 by Kelli

I am good at many things. I know this and I embrace it. Sometimes I doubt it, but deep down, I know the things in which I excell and I chase after them, sometimes with great glee. Sometimes with trepidation.

I also know, however, of a great many things that I do not do well. Like sewing – can’t do it. I can’t even sew a button on a shirt without it falling back off within a few days.

I made an Octopus pillow in 7th grade. I sewed it to my jeans…twice. Ultimately it turned out pretty darn cute, what with its crooked eyes and all. I haven’t sewn a single thing since then.

Ironing. This is another skill that somehow passed on by me. I can do it, of course. It’s not rocket science, ironing a shirt. But I’m not great at it. I never know how to lay the shirts right on the table and I end up making more creases that need to be sprayed and ironed out and…

I felt a bit of shame over this one when we first got married. I felt that ironing my husband’s shirts was a wifely duty that I needed to conquer in order to honor him. I was certain that my initiatiation into Wifedom would not be solidified until I hung his shirts and pants, starched and pressed, in his closet.

I surrendered all of those feelings of failure a long time ago and, thankfully, I have a husband that doesn’t mind ironing his own clothes. If he’s in a pinch and needs something – I am his gal! But mostly, I don’t iron. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I ironed.

And I don’t feel bad about that.

Decorating. Ah, decorating.

I stink at it.

I don’t know if this pillow should go there or if that picture should hang here. I don’t know how to arrange a book case to make it look cute and not cluttered. I don’t know how to hang knick knacks on the wall in a way that is cute and doesn’t make my house looks like it’s inhabited by an eccentric old woman with 99 cats.

I don’t like to watch HGTV, because it makes me feel inadequate – and it bores me a little. I actually just heard some of you gasp in horror.

Picking out paint colors sends me nearly into shock and the decision to move our TV over the fireplace almost gave me a heart attack. My husband has been wanting to do that for eight years. I have resisted because I just couldn’t see it.

Then my neighbor came over. My neighbor who had a table that she thought would look better as a bench so she sawed the legs off and painted it white and low and behold, she had herself a bench that looks like it walked out of Pottery Barn. I would never have thought of something like that. Ever. If I didn’t know what to do with a table, I would get rid of it. Or better yet, just sit and look at it for a decade and mutter repeatedly, “I hate that stupid table.”

Carol walked into our house on Sunday and in two hours the entire house was transformed. Trans-flippin-formed! Our front room, which has always been a bit of an eyesore has now morphed into a warm, cozy music room. For eight years we’ve wondered what to do with that room and in one hour Carol fixed it. We sold a desk, moved furniture and lamps around and voila’! Transformation.

Then she tackled the rest of the house. Like the foyer, which has felt like a cave for the past two years. See the beautiful hutch in the above picture. That bad boy was in our foyer. And yes, for two years we have tripped over it, muttering under our breath and we were prepared to get rid of it. Until…

And yes, she moved our TV over the fireplace, turned all the furniture toward it and by God if it doesn’t look like the room is twice as big.

Lee has been smugly strutting around the house all week. Yes, dear. You were right. The TV looks great over the fireplace. *eyeroll*

So now you know. The decorating, designing, making cute from drab gene passed right on by me. And it laughed as it raced by yelling “See ya, sucka!” And I’m left with nothing to do but put this picture here and that painting there and then sit and wait for someone to come along and do it right.

I’ll try not to wait eight years this time.

Filed Under: Lee, Marriage, Random Tagged With: decorating, DIY, staging a house

I laughed until I cried

January 31, 2011 by Kelli

I am eight years old and riding in the backseat of our silver Cougar on the way home from church. It’s cold but we live in Wisconsin so that’s just par for the course. My brother stares out the window memorizing every street sign and landmark we pass, as he was known for his astute observations when riding in cars.

I am watching my parents. I’m seeing their interaction. I don’t remember what they were talking about on this day – I’m not even sure I could hear them. But I know they’re happy. I know this because my dad laughs.

Clearly I, too, am astute in observation, yes?

The sound of my dad’s laugh always made my heart soar. It was so delightful, so spontaneous. When Dad laughed, I swore that two more stars popped up in the atmosphere. It just seemed magical to hear him laugh out loud.

Mom followed suit, adding in her own cackle. As we drove down the road, they laughed hysterically. Though Brett and I didn’t have a clue what was funny, we joined in the merriment, because who can sit stoney faced when a delightful joke has been told? We laughed all the way home, not because anything was spectacularly funny, but because the joy had spread and we bubbled over.

Last night, we went with the kids to a Family Night at the Magic House for Tia’s preschool. As we drove home, Tia blessed us all with a meltdown of epic proportions. Her name hadn’t been drawn in the raffle and the world as she knew it was coming to an end. Couple that with the fact that she hadn’t had a nap that day and she was wickedly overstimulated and it seemed that life as this almost five year old knew it was devastated permanently.

For those who have been trapped in a car with a melting down four year old, you know the insanity that ensues. It is as if the car will implode with every tear shed, every moan, every groan, every kick of the feet. In perfect rhythm, Tia moaned. A deep, gutteral sound that seemed to resonate from her toes and work it’s way out of her mouth like the rumble of motorboat that comes up on you from behind, then roars past.

And I was losing my mind.

I turned and in my sternest mom voice commanded her to stop crying. Which, in case you’re wondering, commanding someone who’s crying out of control to stop is not effective. That piece of parenting advice comes to you free of charge.

You’re welcome.

So I tried the next tactic. I told her to keep crying, but just cry without making sound.

“Aaaaahhhhhhh.” “Aaaaaaahhhhhh.” “Aaaaaahhhhh…” came the reply. Like a sonic wave it repeated over and over and I felt my brain begin the painful process of implosion. So I resorted to what can only be reffered to as Stellar Parenting 101.

“Tia,” I said, my voice sharp – but loving…of course. “Stop crying. Now. Stop making sounds.” And then, as the next words flowed from my mouth I tried to make them stop. “Stop making sounds…from your throat.”

As soon as I said that, I heard how ridiculous it sounded. Lee snorted, I buried my face in my coat and we both lost it. Painful laughter. The kind that makes your stomach hurt. Tears flowing down our cheeks leaving a trail of joy and relief behind. We laughed out loud, doubled over, clutching our sides.

And then…

Her crying stopped. “Why are you laughing?” she demanded. We couldn’t answer. We were laughing too hard. And anyway, it was only funny to us – she wouldn’t understand.

Stop making sounds from your throat?

We howled and cackled and every synonym for laughter that you can think of, we did it. Before long, all three kids joined in. They didn’t understand. They didn’t know what was funny. They just knew that laughter and joy were present. My brain resolidified into a coherent, usable mass and once again the world was right. Tia forgot why she was crying and chose laughter instead.

And that was the day we saved the world…one cackle at a time.

___________________________________________________________________

I had a wonderful experience at Blissdom this year. I hope to tell you about it in bits and pieces through my posts. I was challenged in my writing, in thinking outside the box in business and in expanding my use of multimedia. Hopefully you will see the results of my time at Blissdom rather than have to read about them.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Lee, Tia Tagged With: Children Melting Down, Family, Laughter, Magic House, parenting

Freedom

January 24, 2011 by Kelli

She stood up on stage and spoke softly into the microphone.

“For you were called to freedom, brethren,” she said in a reverent voice. And that was it. She didn’t finish the verse but rather, stopped there. Her point was to explain to us, her audience, that God calls us to freedom – financial freedom. This was a business conference for something Lee and I were involved in and the focus was on building your business and dreaming about what you could do if you were financially free. There were fancy boats on display and pictures of large, ornate houses were shown. And the prevailing thought was that financial freedom was necessary to experience life to the full.

I remember listening to this particular speaker and thinking that there had to be a little more. It didn’t feel right and it didn’t seem to fit totally.

So I read the rest of the verse later when I got home. It’s Galatians 5:13 and it reads “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

As I read, I realized this verse wasn’t speaking of financial freedom at all. In fact, I don’t believe that God commands any believer to seek after financial freedom. If anything, we are warned to be wary of wealth for it offers much greater temptation.

That is not to say, however, that wealth is a bad thing. I think that wealth in the hands of people who know how to use it is powerful and blessed. I know godly people who have a great deal of material wealth. They don’t flaunt it, but instead they use it to love and serve others. Their freedom isn’t money, or boats, or homes. It’s impacting people, loving people, pointing people to the love and freedom that is in Christ.

For two years Lee and I juggled this idea of building business to create wealth. We mulled the idea of creating wealth to “make a better life.” Until, that is, we had our first child and suddenly the idea of leaving him several nights a week and several weekends a month didn’t seem worth it anymore. What were we doing? Why were we doing it? Things weren’t adding up.

I tread on this topic lightly because I do not judge those who work for financial success. Money is necessary. It’s important. We need it to live, to eat, to provide. Money is a wonderful blessing. But financial freedom, from what I’ve learned over the years, is not about gathering wealth so you can retire at 40 and take your children on a trip around the world.

One of the activities we were encouraged to do those many years ago was make a list of 100 dreams. This was to be something that we placed out in front of us so that we could remember why we were working so hard. We were working toward the freedom to make our dreams come true.

I found the list the other day when I was cleaning out the pit that we like to call home. It made me smile, made me scratch my head and made me laugh out loud. One of my hundred dreams was to have a gardener. A Gardener! I honestly don’t even know what I was thinking. Why a gardener? That was a head scratcher…

I dreamed of taking a Grecian Cruise, owning a motor home (seriously?!) and having a home theater. Apparently at one point Lee hijacked my list because I also had Go to the Final Four Championship Game, Go the the Superbowl (okay, that would be cool) and attending an NBA Championship game on my list. I’m pretty sure I didn’t write those on my own.

It was fun to see a few of the things on my list were accomplished – buy a house, go to Italy, go to Switzerland, have a laptop. By God’s grace, we have marked several dreams off our list inadvertantly.

I no longer equate the freedom I have in God with our finances. In fact, now that I am no longer obssessed with gaining financial freedom, I feel much more free. Lee and I both no longer agree that writing out a list of 100 dreams with the idea of asking God to bless that list is the right way to approach God or life. In fact my list of dreams is drastically smaller than this original list. My dreams are simply this:

– To live my life to the glory of God, honoring Him in every activity, every ambition, every desire, every dollar earned and spent.

– To honor and respect my husband.

– To point my children to the Almighty and see them grow in wisdom, knowledge and stature.

I have been called to freedom – freedom to serve and love others with the resources I have been given. I don’t always serve well and I don’t always love well. I still get sucked into the rat race and I don’t always give freely from the abundance I’ve been given. I still long to go on a Grecian Cruise and I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to travel the world…like, ever. I believe in enjoying the financial blessings God has bestowed upon us, but only after giving back to Him first.

Like any parent, I long to be able to provide good things for my children. I want to be able to send them to college without the stress of loans, I want to give them the opportunity to see the world and the beauty of God’s creation. I hope to do some of that while also teaching them to serve others and love people. I long to show them what true freedom is and give them a foundation that sets them up for success in finances, missions, serving and loving. I long to teach them how to serve God fully with the money they are blessed with. I’m still learning that lesson myself…

I long to figure out why in the world I put “Have a Gardener” on my list of 100 dreams.

“For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galations 5:13

What are your thoughts?

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Lee, Life, Random Tagged With: Finances, Galations 5:13, God and Money, teaching kids about finances

Tell me about it boys

January 14, 2011 by Kelli

Last night, Lee and I assumed our positions on the couch the jar of Nutella between us for a little relaxation in front of the television. Since LOST went off the air, we just haven’t been able to get into another show. We liked Glee for a little while, until it became an over-sexed after school special and we gave up on it. I was into Grey’s Anatomy until it turned into a political commentary on all the hot button topics so I gave up on that one too.

It’s hard to find good TV…

So most of our television watching these days consists of channel surfing. We do this for 20 minutes, get frustrated, flip off the TV then pile up in bed with our copies of FRIENDS, which we got for Christmas. Now that was good TV!

Last night, however, we missed out on watching FRIENDS because Lee ended on the Syfy channel where Star Trek XXVVVII was playing. I have to confess, I don’t get Star Trek. I have never understood the fascination with it. It’s campy and corny and the acting is bad and… Apparently I don’t have enough testosterone to get it.

So can someone explain it to me? Because when I asked Lee to explain the fascination, his eyes widened and he looked at me as though I was a Cling On (seriously, I don’t even know if I spelled that right…) Klingon.

“It’s just awesome,” he exclaimed, flinging his hands up for emphasis. “It’s so cool.”

Right.

Why again?

I watched for a few minutes as Captain Kirk (James Tiberius – I learned that much from the two minutes I watched) and the doctor (don’t remember his name) were placed on trial by the Cling On’s Klingons for the assassination of the Great High Chancellor, which, of course, Kirk and WhatsHisFace did not commit. They were, in fact, trying to save the man’s purple blooded life.

And then I learned that Kirk’s son was killed by a Cling On Klingon. Just typing all that info, I felt my estrogen levels drop a bit…

But alas, I grew bored pretty quickly. I did find it fascinating that Kim Catrall of Sex in the City notoriety was on the good guy’s ship (The Enterprise? Is that Star Trek or Star Wars?). That was all I found really, really interesting though. So tell me about it boys. What’s the fascination?

I don’t want to leave out the women who enjoy Star Trek, either, so if there are any of you who are heavier on the estrogen that still enjoy watching the show, fill me in. Help me understand.

Because I just don’t get it.

Lee didn’t come to bed until after the movie ended last night. I wanted to ask him how it all turned out in the end. Were Kirk and WhatsHisFace put to death or were they ultimately proven innocent? But I just didn’t really care all that much and I was really tired so I smiled and mumbled May the Force be with you.

And may it also be with you.

Filed Under: Lee, Random, the boob tube Tagged With: I don't get it, Star Trek

Wrestling with Daddy

January 5, 2011 by Kelli

It’s just too much fun…

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Lee, Life Tagged With: dads and kids, Family, kids wrestling with dad

Hi, My Name is Kelli…

January 4, 2011 by Kelli

And I’m addicted to skin care products.

Hmmm…addicted makes it sound serious. Perhaps I should just say I’m in love with skin care products. But that makes my relationship with all things skin related sounds healthy. You know what? Let’s just not qualify it.

Hi, my name is Kelli and I have a lot of skin care products. So much so that my husband recently commented how ten years ago when we got married, had he known how much “stuff” girls put on their face, he would have required me to open and stock a seperate bank account just for all my “stuff.”

And incidentally, can we not call it “stuff?” It’s heaven’s nectar. It’s youth in a jar. It’s what’s making sure that when I’m 50, I’m still going to look 30, baby!

To which Lee would reply, “Well that’s gonna stink for you because when I’m 50 I’m gonna look 50 so you’re gonna be stuck with an older man.”

Hmph. I’m holding out hope for Zac Efron. Or Ryan Reynolds…

I’m kidding!

*a little*

So. What was I talking about? Facial products! I love them. I would wash my face five times a day and put on a different moisturizer if I knew it was good for me. But it’s not, so I settle for the more common twice a day washing. Then I pull out my awaiting stash and breath in its lovely scent. I have morning mositurizers with antioxidants. I have a nighttime moisturizer with some kind of ingredient that’s supposed to keep me looking young. Plus, I think it wards off vampires.

I have masks, my newest being a Vitamin C peel and it’s A-to the-MAZING. It might be my new favorite. I love how my skin feels when it’s been scrubbed and slathered. I feel refreshed and awake and ready to conquer the day.

Okay, I think it’s safe to say I’m an addict.

Here are a few of my favorite products. You know, just for fun…

Arbonne NutrimenC – I order a full set almost once a year (at a discounted price) and it usually lasts me a whole year, which is why I feel no guilt. NONE. Why would one feel guilty about wonderful, glorious face products?

Neutrogena – This lotion smells amazing, has antioxidants in it – which, I don’t really know what that means but it sounds like it’s really good for you – and has spf 15 to keep the sun’s rays at bay, but not out completely because who doesn’t look better with a tan, right?

Philosophy: When Hope is not enough – This is my new vitamin C peel. Actually it’s called a Microdelivery Peel. Doesn’t that just sound amazing?! Seriously, this stuff is spectacular. I love it. Love it, love it, love it. This may be an unhealthy love…

Hugo Naturals – I was recently introduced to this product line for the kids. Particularly Landon who has got some pretty nasty exzema issues. As in the pediatrician told me, “His skin is going to be your job.” Lucky for Landon, I LOVE SKIN. Their products are 100% natural and organic. They’re gentle on his skin and the lotions are amazing. I also got a couple of the sugar scrubs and body butters for me and Sweet mercy! I’ve found a new love. You can find these at Whole Foods and I highly recommend them, especially if you have kiddos with problem skin…Or if you are addicted to skin care products.

Wexler MMPi: I don’t know what is in this stuff but it makes my skin feel as soft as the day I was born. Or as soft as I imagine my skin was the day I was born. It’s a jar full of magic made by fairies at the base of rainbows. Hint: You can get it at Bath and Body Works on special several times/year.

This is not, of course, an extensive list of my facial loves. You don’t even want to get me started on eye cream, or on the When Hope is not Enough oil I got for Christmas that makes me feel like I’ve been swimming with the gods. If I believed in ‘the gods’ of course…

Is there a 12 Step program for this sort of thing?

Never mind. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to give it up…

So with that, I’m going to hop out of bed and scrub my face. The excitement I got from writing that last sentence is almost embarrassing. Except, I LOVE TO WASH MY FACE!

If any of you have skin care tips or products you love, do share. Because clearly I’m a junkie who needs more.

*Incidentally, I was not paid or asked to write about any of these products. I share my skin care secrets out of the goodness of my heart. You are SO welcome.

Filed Under: Lee, Life, Random Tagged With: Arbonne, Facial Products, I'm Crazy, MMPi, Random, Skin Care, When Hope is not Enough

2010: The Wrap Up

December 31, 2010 by Kelli

This year can only be described as blessed. As we move into 2011, I find myself feeling filled with anticipation. What will this year bring for our family? What blessings? What heartaches? What new challenges and opportunities? What joy and laughter? How will the kids grow and develop? How will Lee and I grow and develop?

In looking back on 2010, I have seen some definate areas in my own life that need improvement. I enter 2011 aware of those and prayerfully seeking the strength and discipline to implement the necessary changes. I look forward to a fresh start.

I also look forward to another 12 months of blogging and laughing with you all. Because what fun is life if you can’t laugh…a lot! So in order to look back at the fun this year has brought, I give you the official 2010 wrap up. It’s been a hilarious ride!

January

The Minivan Mom Runs: Remember when I decided to take up running again? And then I quit. But then I decided to take it up again? And then I quit. This fall, I took it up again and I was actually doing quite well. I was actually enjoying it. Then I got pneumonia and the cold that wouldn’t end and haven’t been able to run in a month. Good times…

Battoning Down the Hatches…or something like that: In which, like a modern day Ma Ingalls, I survive being snowed in alone with three kids. This was during our Little House on the Prairie kick.

Feburary

From his perspective aka A really bad idea: Lee decided we needed to change our life insurance policy, which meant a scary nurse lady came to our house and jabbed me with a needle. I was too afraid to consider not having the children watch. Sloan thought I was being put to sleep…

Sometimes sticking to your guns is hard: The one where I had to defend my position on vaccinations in a very uncomfortable manner. Ugh…

March

The Dance of the Little Bee: This post still makes me laugh. This is my reminder that my son, already a Ladie’s Man, is growing up far too fast for my taste.

My Stud Muffin with his Stud Muffie: The video of my hot husband and my youngest child and their mad basketball skillz. That’s right I said skillz!

April

The confidence to walk away: Sloan was bullied and my mother’s heart was broken into tiny pieces, rolled in broken glass, doused in alcohol, then lit on fire. He’s emerged a stronger kid, though, and for that I am beyond proud.

Tia Tales: The Four Year Old Edition: I got my magic camera this month, and thus my pictures got so much better. And Tia? Well, there’s always a story to tell about my crazy middle child.

Girl Meets Boy: I began a series entirely dedicated to the love story I share with my husband of a decade. It was so much fun walking down memory lane with him. You can read the entire story here.

May:

He had to be first: The month we experienced our first broken bone. We just finished paying that sucker off. Good times…

Disturbing: My son’s addiction to coloring on anything but paper freaked me out…a lot. I threw that doll away, incidentally.

June

Just call me MacGyver: In which I got creative with Kotex. Don’t ask. Just read…

Toy Story 3: Better Titled “Let’s Tear Mom’s Heart from Chest and Stomp on it.”: I took the kids to see Toy Story 3. Then I bawled my eyes out. For days.

July

Lemonade for Haiti: Sloan urged us to let him have a lemonade stand for Haiti, so we did. And in the process, my son once again taught me a valuable lesson in giving. Later that summer, he got to hand my uncle the envelope with $120 in it for Haiti relief. He’s quite a kid.

The Photo Session: We spent three weeks in Florida last summer. And I lived to tell the story. I almost didn’t though. Despite it being just a tad too much together time, we had fun. And I managed to get some great pictures of my kids – with a few outtakes.

August

The Wedding: My cousin Whitney got married and Sloan and Tia were her ring bearer and flowergirl. The cuteness was over the top.

Ice Cream Surprise: We surprised our kids with an after bed ice cream treat. It is a great memory and gave us a hilarious video.

This I Pray: I sent my son off to first grade. We had our first experience with a full school day and I grew increasingly aware of the need to bathe him in prayer while he was gone. It was good for me to re-read this post and be reminded of that again.

Phew. August was a fun blogging month. I had a hard time narrowing it down. That was the same month I admitted to not showering on a daily basis, I went to New Orleans to cover the Katrina memorial and I posted more than one random post filled with bizarre little tidbits.

September

This is the month Lee and I took the trip of a lifetime through Switzerland, Austria and Italy. We talk about this trip almost every day – sometimes multiple times a day. It was that amazing.

Hallstatt – A Day in the Life of a Postcard Town: I still can’t believe we made it to Hallstatt. It is truly the most beautiful place I have ever visited and was our favorite part of the trip.

Italy: Austria was by far our favorite country, but Italy wasn’t half bad either. I mean…we weren’t complaining or anything.

A Different Kind of Mountaintop: We came home after ten days ready to be with our kids. Rocking Landon to sleep the night we got home was a different kind of mountaintop experience. Read with Kleenex…

The Day we Spent $127 on Soap: We made a very stupid American mistake in Hallstatt. It’s funny now. A little…

October

He is Dad: The one where I made my dad cry. Then he made me cry back. All mushy, mushy…

The day I questioned everything I know to be true: I cleaned out the back of our minivan. In the process I doubted whether Minivans were actually Hot. My faith has been restored in the hotness of minivans, just as long as I never go back there again!

November

Cry me a Freakin’ River: We took down the crib and in doing so tore a piece of my heart out.

How to go from Reverent to Irreverent without even really trying…: Sloan brings us to church when he prays. Tia brings us back to reality.

December

The Brawl: I think this might be my favorite post of the year.

Celebrating Christmas: We started what I hope will become a great tradition for our family.

So there it is. My 2010 list of favorites. This is not an exhaustive list and these certainly aren’t all my best posts, but they represent my favorite moments of the year. I’ve tried to keep it light and fun, but there have been some heavy moments too. Thanks for sharing them with me.

As I thought about what my favorite photo was of the year, I had a really hard time narrowing it down. I think I got it down to two…okay that’s not true. I have 478 favorite photos from this past year. But I’m just going to share two:

Me, my man and an Austrian mountaintop. Just an awesome moment...

I love those faces. And I love this picture. It captures them perfectly...

Happy New Year to all of you!

Filed Under: Holidays, Kids, Lee, Life, Marriage, Ministry, New Years Tagged With: 2010 Wrap Up, blogging memories, New Year's 2010, The Best of 2010

Game Night

December 9, 2010 by Kelli

On my one night at home in a nine day stretch, I wanted to soak up as much of my family as possible. So we agreed to have a family game night complete with a completely ridiculous kids game that, in my opinion, makes little sense but whatever. They like it so I like it.

We finished dinner and homework and got bedtime clothes on and pulled out the board. This is only a four person game so Lee and I shared our turn.

Wait. Scratch that. I played alongside the Board Game Nazi.

There are a couple of things you should know about the man of my dreams. Besides the fact that he is all kinds of good looking, of course.

He is hyper competitive.
He controls his competitive tendencies really, really well and you would hardly know he was competitive and hated to lose unless you were, in fact, the one with the misfortune to come home with him after he loses.
He is particular and leans toward perfectionism. This means he wants everything in order.
He hates when people mess around and waste time – especially when playing a game.

So we bring out the board and lay out the cards and we commence to playing. We play four rounds. Everyone gets a chance to draw first. Midway through round one I notice my husband’s hands tremble slightly.

“Sloan…don’t bend the cards!”

“I’m not bending them!” comes the protest.

“Yes you are. See the crease?”

“But you bend them when you shuffle!”

“No. Well, only slightly but see how they go back to straight when I let go? You leave a crease.”

“Yeah,” I chime in. “Like the creases on daddy’s forehead! See how they stay there even after his eyebrows go down?”

Ahem. Play on…

Then his breathing shallows a bit.

“Landon…don’t touch the pile! Just leave it alone. No! Don’t mess with the carpet. Your’e knocking the cards over. Just sit still!”

A vein begins to protrude from the side of his head.

“Tia, this isn’t a guessing game. We don’t have to guess which card you drew. Just put your card down and lay your chip on the board! Come on, now!” *clap, clap, clap*

At this point, I’m laughing. Right at him. No holds barred. The kids are laughing too.

Lee joins in on the laughter. But it’s more of a ha-ha-I’m-laughing-to-release-steam-but-I-don’t-really-think-this-is-funny sort of laugh. And then, my husband attempts to teach the kids strategy.

Have any of you ever attempted to teach a four year old strategy? What about an almost three year old? Anyone?

The object of Sequence is to get four of your own chips in a row either horizontally, vertically or diagonally. It’s mostly a luck of the draw type of game, but there is a bit of strategy in where you place your chips. Tia, who happens to be the luckiest child when it comes to games, was constantly one chip away from winning. In this case, a strategically placed chip would have set her up for victory. Lee, being ready to end the game, was trying to help without helping. The conversation went something like this:

“Tia, wait! Don’t put your chip down yet. Look at the board. Do you see a good place to lay your chip?”

Tia shrugs.

“Look closely at all the chips. If you put your chip here, do you think that would help?”

“I don’t wanna put my chip there,” she said. “I wanna put it over here.” Points to a place that would not be helpful at all to ending the game helping her win. I notice the vein pop just a little more.

“I understand,” Lee said. “But if you put your chip right here, do you see how it would help you out?”

“But I don’t waaaaaaanna…”

*sigh* “Okay, put your chip wherever you want.”

The next turn, Tia draws a card that would have won her the game if she had listened to the wise counsel of her father. I’m pretty sure there’s a metaphor in there somewhere.

And then, the vein starts muttering. “O.M.G. If you had just listened to me you could’ve won. Mumble, mumble, mumble…”

Wait no. It wasn’t the vein mumbling. It was Lee. He was shaking his head and his hands were all a-flitter with pent up energy. And me? I just burst out laughing again. The vein frowned at me, then receded as Lee himself started to laugh. A real laugh this time.

“You’re going to blog about this tomorrow, aren’t you?” he asked.

Yes, dear. Yes I am. Smile for the camera!

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Lee Tagged With: family game night, playing games with kids, Sequence for Kids, teaching kids strategy

Today

December 8, 2010 by Kelli

– Opening night for The Christmas Post was last night. It went really, really well. I’m not going to lie – I was a little concerned. As of Saturday we had never made it all the way through the play. There was so much work to be done, so many little details to be fine tuned that it seemed we might never get it all pulled together.

But God is good and we did it and it was a lot of fun! There are still tickets available for the rest of the week – please come if you can! We have spent countless hours over the last few weeks pulling this together and we would love to see a packed house every single night.

– Today, mercifully, we have the day off. And I am thankful. The muscles in the left side of my body have decided to have a party and have all bunched up so that turning from side to side, leaning for forward, picking anything up or moving in general has become a bit of a task. I need a day to unwind, go to bed early and be with my family.

– Speaking of my family, my husband rocks. Seriously. He’s doing this parenting thing alone every night this week. That’s a lot of work. But he’s been great about it and I couldn’t appreciate it more.

– While this musical is great fun, it’s also a sacrifice. I’m sacrificing my own time and, while I’m having fun, I’m also working really hard. My husband is serving me and through his service, I am able to serve others along with all of the other members of the cast. Service is hard – even when it’s fun. It requires that we step outside what’s comfortable and easy and we sacrifice – we sacrifice our time, our resources, our sleep and more.

– I’ll be honest. Service has never been really natural for me. I’m very selfish, especially with my time and my gifts. But I don’t think service is ever easy. It really goes against our human nature. I’m grateful for the chance to serve others this week. It’s hard, but it’s fun and it’s rewarding!

– Switching gears…

– Sometimes this blogging thing stresses me out. Particularly in weeks like this one. I’m wiped, both physically and emotionally. I don’t have a lot to offer my readers. Yet I feel pressure to offer something quippy and funny. I have to remind myself that I don’t have to do this. It’s okay to take some time off. The world as we know it won’t cease to revolve if I don’t write a post or two.

Will it?

– I’ve had this little issue with my shoulder for awhile now. Like eight years. Ever since I coached gymnastics a lifetime ago. All that overhand spotting caused all sorts of craziness to take root. And instead of having it looked at, I ignored it. Until a few weeks ago when I realized I was having a hard time pushing elevator buttons without wincing in pain. I headed in to see a physical therapist and since that time I’ve been wondering what took me so long to do something about my shoulder. I have severe tendonitis, perhaps a bit of bursitis and who knows what else.

At some point I may see an orthopedic to get an MRI, but for now I’m sticking with my PT because he rocks and he’s nice and he has a great southern accent that makes me happy.

– Christmas is coming up in a couple of weeks. I’m not sure if you heard. It falls on the 25th this year. Someone I know is not ready…she hasn’t even finished her shopping. I’ll give you one guess as to who that is…

– Okay, this is the part of the post where I wrap it up.

Let’s all breathe a sigh of relief together.

I’ll be back next week with real content. 🙂

Filed Under: Christmas, Family, Holidays, Lee, Life Tagged With: Christmas, Motherhood, Random, service, The Christmas Post

Sleeping in beds with boys

November 29, 2010 by Kelli

It was early 2002-ish and Lee and I, along with Lee’s brother Eric and his wife Becke’, attended a conference. It was held…somewhere. The details are really fuzzy. Wherever the conference was held required us to get a hotel room. Because we were young and poor, we decided to share a room and to secure it on Priceline.

It seemed like a really good idea when we got a hotel room just around the corner from the conference for only $50 a night. Score! Until…

We got to our room and found that it had only one bed. What to do? We couldn’t change the reservation without incurring much higher charges. So we did what any respectable couples would do in such a situation.

We all piled into bed together.

Eric slept on one end, then Becke’ next to him. I slept next to Becke’ and Lee laid on the other end. So as not to make the situation any more weird and awkward than it already was, we all slept fully clothed. Four people, fully clothed in one bed makes for a hot night’s sleep. Sometime during the night, Becke’ slipped out of bed, unbeknownst to the rest of us, and attempted to get more sleep on the floor. The rest of us were not aware of this transition.

When the early morning sunlight mercifully streamed into the room, I slowly opened my eyes. I looked to my left at Lee and smiled. He was on his back, straight as a board, arms stiff by his side, snoring. He looked wildly uncomfortable in his jeans. Then I looked to my right, expecting to find Becke’.

And there was Eric, sound a sleep. For a brief moment I was horrified as I laid all snuggled up to my brother in law. But after a few moments of wondering how on earth I ended up sandwiched between both Stuart men, I started to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I sat up and looked down at Becke’ who was curled up on the floor. She looked up at me and we both laughed.

That’s the only time I have ever slept with my brother in law.

This weekend we went to Arkansas to be with Lee’s parents and brothers and friends. So much fun.

Except for the sleeping part. I’ve already told you my kids are systematically trying to ensure I never experience a full night’s sleep again. They were in full form this weekend. It all came to a head on Saturday night. Landon wet the bed (we had run out of pull ups and wouldn’t you know every night before Saturday he woke up dry) around 1:30. He bolted up and cried, “Mommy, I spilled! I need a towel!” I got him cleaned up and back down in time for Sloan to crawl in bed with us. I woke up around 3:30 to see Tia in bed with us as well. Around 4:00 Landon crawled into our bed. I didn’t have the heart to fight him on it so I put him on the end next to me.

And for the second time in my life I found myself sandwiched between two Stuart men boys. Sloan, being a fitful sleeper, kicked me in the kidneys all night long. Landon had his face right in mine and breathed on me for a solid two hours. It solidified my need to do a better job brushing his teeth at night.

Despite the lack of sleep, we had a great time eating, laughing, shopping and being together. It was, indeed, a Happy Thanksgiving.