The Brawl

BASED UPON A TRUE STORY

The Scene

Three kids, all blonde, varying heights, clearly in posession of shared DNA.  They are heading downstairs to play a game together with the largest of the three rallying his troops to action.

The Setting

A Basement.  Vibrant colors, pathetically filthy, scattered with disregarded toys and costumes.

The Protagonist

Lee-Kelli 10 (2)

The largest of the three blondes.  Male.  A smattering of freckles and deep blue eyes.  Sweet natured but easily frustrated.  Possesses a strong desire to be in control and a swift and thorough sense of justice.  A natural leader who inspires others to action when he’s not using his leadership for personal gain.  

 The Antagonist

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 The middle blonde.  Female.  Dangerously cute.  Freakishly strong.  Possesses the rare trait of being able to push others to the very brink of their sanity then backing off as they self destruct.  Can widen her eyes abnormally giving her the appearance of a lost puppy and making her nearly irresistible.  Cannot say her ‘R,’ ‘TH,’ or ‘L’ sounds.  A master of psychological warfare.

The Tagalong

Lee-Kelli 10 (2)-3

The smallest of the three blondes.  Male.  Bright blue eyes.  A mischevious grin.  A natural born sidekick with the ability to alternate partners seamlessly throughout the course of an altercation, sometimes more than once.  Has a seemingly unbreakable love for the word “stupid” and the phrase “I hit your butt,” despite repeated admonishments.  Also unable to say the letters ‘R,’ ‘TH,’ or ‘L’ as he spends much time listening to, and mimicing, blonde number two.  A free spirit, The Tagalong is prone to fits of bouncing and can rarely focus on any one activity for more than 60 seconds at a time.

The Conflict

The Protagonist orders all blondes into the filthy basement for covert operations and a mad game of tag.  Naturally, The Protagonist  begins laying out rules and restrictions upon the game that directly violate The Antagonist’s awareness of what is fair.  In addition, The Antagonist has spent much of the afternoon being nice to The Protagonist and is simply in the mood to ruffle his feathers.

The Tagalong is just glad he was invited.

The Antagonist agrees to play the game as laid out by The Protagonist.  She waits until the opportune moment and then, mid-stride, stops, turns and declares, “I don’t wanna pway anymore.”  She throws a look at The Tagalong that lets him know he should take her side for a good time.  He quickly chimes in, “Yeah, I not pway anymore too.”

They wait.  But not long.  The Protagonist falls into a fit of frustrated rage.  He stomps.  He begs.  He pleads.  “Please play with me, guys.”  But they hold their ground.  It’s just too much fun to stop.  To really set The Protagonist over the edge, The Antagonist throws in, “We don’t wike to pway your games.”

The Protagonist responds, “Fine!  Then I don’t like either of you.  You’re not my friends!”  This is declared at the top of his lungs at a decible that reverberates off every window in the house.  The younger two blondes stomp upstairs indignantly.

“He’s mean,” they declare as they move to the couch, The Tagalong’s arms crossed over his chest in a mini protest.  Minutes later The Protagonist runs up the stairs.

In two leaps he lands on The Antagonist, digging his nails into her arm.  She lets loose a dramatic scream and brings forth a few tears for added effect.  Then the smaller, freakishly strong Antagonist flies at the larger blonde, her hand finding contact with his face with a crack.  Her finger somehow burys itself in his eye.

The Judge steps in, seperating the two brawlers.  The Tagalong looks on with wide eyes as The Protagonist is  taken to another room.

“Yeah!” The Tagalong says to The Antagonist.  “You dot him, Tia.  You beat ‘im up.  Ha. Ha.”  They give each other five.  The Judge’s wife stifles giggles.

The Resolution

The three blondes are sitting at the dinner table.  Little has been said about the earlier altercation until The Protagonist pipes up.  “Why did you poke my eye?” he asks, pure offense dripping from every word.

“Because you hit me and you was bossing me,” The Antagonist answers. 

“Yeah,” The Tagalong interjects.

“Don’t start again, guys,” The Judge says and shoots his dagger eyes in their direction.

“Hey!  I have an idea!” The Protagonist says, throwing his hands up in the air.

“What?!” The Tagalong asks, clearly excited.

“Let’s all be best friends.”

“Yeah!” The Antagonist and The Tagalong  reply in unison.

“Let’s all say it together,” The Protagonist says, relishing the fact that, once again, he is in full control.  “Ready?  One, Two Three…”

“WE’RE ALL BEST FRIENDS.”

And they all lived happily ever after.

Or at least for the next few hours…

The End.

 

Comments

  1. Kelli, this was a great post!! Quite a throwdown! Glad to hear the blondes will be best friends again…I was a bit worried there for a second. 🙂

  2. http://Rachel says

    I LOVE this post. 🙂

  3. Favorite. Post. EVER! I love listening to you tell stories about Sloan. He and Cooper are so much alike that it sends me into ripples of laughter. Love you!

  4. haha…loved this recap!

    especially landon’s comments to tia when he high-fived her, and his favorite phrases (we have some of that around here, too)!

  5. Hilarious! Oh, the drama of daily life… really fun to think about it like this! I was the Antagonist’s substitute leader at Cubbies tonight, and she is delightful. Just glad I didn’t do anything to set her off and experience her freakish strength first-hand. 🙂

  6. This seems vaguely familiar. Oh yeah…that was me and my two sisters about a hundred years ago. 🙂

  7. LOL! Kids are so funny. Wish the world wars could be solved that way. 🙂