Just call me MacGyver

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Alternately titled: Why I owe them some Kotex

Thursday’s are our crazy days.  A week’s worth of activities are packed into one afternoon and it requires me to be organized in order for things to run smoothly.  Me.  Organized.  Those two words next to one another are a bit of an oxymoron.  In fact, I recently wrote up a product review and giveaway for 5 Minutes for Mom in which I lament my organizational capabilities and I now have three calendars in my kitchen trying to help me stay on top of life. 

 They’re not really working, if you must know.  There’s this funny little phenomenon wherein you must actually look at the calendar ahead of time in order to know what you’ve got planned for the day.  Weird, huh?

So yesterday we tore out of the house at 4:35 to try and make it to Tia’s Russian class at 4:45 on time.  At 4:32 I remembered I needed to pack a dinner because we would go straight from the kids russian lessons to Sloan’s baseball practice.  So I threw some rolls, a few bananas, a package of ham and a chunk of banana bread in a plastic bag and off we went.

About 25 minutes before the end of the kids lessons, Landon grabbed my face and pulled it down to his.  “I pooped,” he whispered.  He didn’t need to tell me – the smell gave it away.  It smelled like death – warm death…you get the point.

And then I realized…I had forgotten a back up diaper.  I went out to the car to see if maybe, by God’s sweet grace, there was a diaper under a seat.  No luck.  And the smell was getting worse.  Let’s just say Landon had a bit of a stomach ache yesterday.  This hadn’t been the first, or even second, dirty diaper of the day.  It was foul.

So I took him to the bathroom in the church building where russian school meets and began coming up with a plan.  I swept my eyes around the sterile lavatory, trying to decide what I could do to remedy the situation until I had the chance to get a diaper.  Toilet paper and paper towls – surely I could come up with a reasonable solution using those materials.  Blast!  If only I had some scotch tape and a paper clip! 

I looked to my right and noticed on the wall were three small white cabinets.  I decided to look inside and see if perhaps there might be a diaper in there – I know, I was reaching.  The situation was getting desperate. 

I opened the first cabinet and found the jackpot - a large supply of Depends and Kotex.  Perfect.  I stripped Landon of the death wrap around his bum and cleaned him up, then grabbed a Depends and stuck it on the inside of his shorts.  But it wouldn’t stick.  In case you’re wondering, Depends are not very sticky on the bottom…just an FYI in case you ever need them.  Ahem.

So I grabbed two Kotex, pulled the stickers off the back and wrapped them around his waist, connecting them to the Depends to form somewhat of a diaper.  Unfortunately this meant they were stuck to his skin which was uncomfortable and made him walk like a mini-Sumo wrestler for the remainder of our time at Russian school.  I then hastily sent Lee a text asking him to bring us a diaper to baseball practice.

And that, folks, is how I have officially become the MacGyver of Mommydom.  (MomGyver, if you will)

*groan*

The end.

Comments

  1. Melissa says:

    HILARIOUS!

  2. You know, I think Saturday Night Live would be so much better if they hired a few moms as writers. And this could be one of those skits. Too funny.

    Fun seeing you yesterday. Next time, ya’ll come to my house!

  3. LOL! I’ve been in similar situations. Poop all the way up the back to the neck and no wipes in the middle of a lunch meeting at a restaurant. That’s always fun.

  4. hilarious is all i can say.

  5. BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I so love you!

  6. This would only happen to you Kelli, good times!! You will have this story to tell for awhile and I am so sure Landon will love you for it. NOT!

  7. Dawn Carey says:

    Oh mommyhood. I recently carried pooped underpants in my purse for, oh let’s say a few days, it definitely wasn’t a week – no it couldn’t have been that long. They are now safely in the laundry and most asuredly not in some laundry basket somewhere but in my daughter’s drawer neatly folded.

  8. Such situations show that moms are so inventive and can find the way out of Funny memories :)

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