The Truth in Blogging

My friend, Nicole, has a great post today about keepin’ it real in blogging.  The idea is that many times us blogger mama’s tend to keep things positive and not really show the messy in life. 

It can be very deceptive and even discouraging when it seems that these people you read and grow to love are perfect mothers who always prepare fresh, organic fare for their children, have a hot meal on the table when their husbands get home and smell of roses when they sweat.

In general I think I have a pretty good balance on this here blog.  I’ve let you know the times when my heart has been heavy, I told you I clap my hands at my kids, and who can forget this little escapade?  But, for the most part, I like to keep things light on my blog.  I don’t record every single thing we are doing in our lives here – first because that would be incredibly boring and second – because the world doesn’t need to know everything.

So today, in an effort to keep it real, I share with you some of the bad/funny moments in my home.

– My youngest child woke up in the middle of the night last night and wouldn’t go back to to sleep so I finally put him in his crib where he cried loud and hard for an hour and a half.  And I put the pillow over my head and attempted to go back to sleep.

– When his loud crying woke up Tia, I plopped her back in bed and when she started crying I shushed her sternly, threatening to throw away her Halloween candy if she woke Sloan up. (I did apologize for being so harsh this morning.  In my defense it was 4:30 am and I’d already been awake for an hour and a half.)

– While I know that I should be working with Sloan every day on his English reading and his russian homework, I often times talk myself out of it simply because I’m lazy and don’t feel like it.  I’m working on being more diligent so that I can pass that on to my children.  It’s hard.

– I am over committed this holiday season.  It’s almost feeling out of hand and all I can think is that I just need to get through the next 6 weeks and it will all get better. 

– I suffer from mommy guilt a lot.  I am constantly thinking about how I could have/should have done something better in my parenting (a post about how we are learning to parent intentionally is coming tomorrow).  I have to work hard not to get bogged down in that attitude.

– I spend too much time on the computer.  I’m working really hard at limiting my internet time so that I’m focusing more on my kids and my house.  Is there a 12 – step program for that?

– My third born is a terrible eater.  And I’ve never had a terrible eater before so I don’t know what to do with him.  So many times I just let him drink his meals.  This morning he had a cup of Emergen-C and a cup of diluted antioxidant water and two bites of pancakes.  He just refuses to eat.  It’s insane!

– I’m not very good at grocery shopping.  I always spend a ton of money yet never seem to have anything for dinner.  I know, I know – I should plan out my meals in advance so I get the right ingredients and save money…

– I’m not overly organized – see above.

– Sometimes I don’t start dinner until 5:00, which means we eat a lot of pasta and other quick and easy meals.  Again, see above.

– Sometimes I drop my kids off in child care at the gym, then I go sit in the hot tub instead of working out.

Okay, that’s enough confessing for now.  What about you all?  Do any of you have any confessions you’d like to make?  Do share.

Oh, and I do smell like roses when I sweat so I’ve got that going for me…

Memory of Halloweens Past

This morning, the kids got up long before Lee and I were ready.  So as we laid in bed, they pitter pattered out to the living room.  From the warmth of our bed, we could hear them digging through their little halloween buckets where the candy they racked up yesterday trick or treating at my dad’s office awaited their arrival.

Twice they came into our room to ask if they could have a piece. Twice I played bad cop and said no, not until after breakfast – because eating a sugar-filled-teeth-rotting-sugar-exploding morsel is way better after you’ve eaten a bowl of cereal. (eyeroll)  Really, I just didn’t feel like I would be doing them justice as their mother if I allowed them candy at 6:30 in the morning.

Moments after their second rejection, I heard Sloan tell Tia that they should dump their buckets out and count their candy to see how much they had.

So with a tumble and a THWOP we heard the innards of their plastic buckets fall to the floor and the delighted giggles of two very excited children.  After saying a silent prayer that they would have the same amount of candy I heard Sloan count to 14…twice.

“Tia, we both have 14 pieces!” he exclaimed.  “That means we don’t have to fight!”

Yes.  And it meant that mommy could lay in peace for a few more minutes.  Praise God Almighty from Whom all blessing flow!

As I thought of them counting their little piles of candy, I remembered my trick or treating days when my brother and I would come home and share the same ritual.  We would dump out our pillow cases of candy and take an inventory of our loot.  Then, of course, the trading and bartering would commense.

I tended to trade the Twizzlers and M & M’s for Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and Skittles.  Of course, I also hoarded the Bottle Caps and Pop Rocks and we both handed off the Sugar Daddies and Suger Babies to my dad, because those are his favorite.  And we threw away the Nut ‘N Honey’s because, ew

Then we would diligently count how many pieces of candy we had and hoot and hollar if we were fortunate to pass the 100 piece mark then squeal with delight if passed 200.  We would plan out what we would eat when and how long it would take us to devour our treasures.

(Come to think of it, I wonder if my mom ever threw away a few pieces of our candy every day without us knowing so that we would ultimately not end up eating that much junk.  Not that I do that…ahem.) 

When it was all said and done and Brett and I were equally pleased with our final count, we would sit back and eat as much as mom would allow and rehash the night’s events remembering which house gave the best candy, who had the best costumes and how we nearly froze to death in the frigid Wisconsin weather.

Then we would head to bed, our stomach’s aching from over consumption and our head’s spinning from the rush of sugar.

Those are sweet (pun definately intended) memories.  I miss my brother.

What are some of your favorite Halloween memories?

Yeah, but we already knew that…

*Warning – the following post contains blatent and unapologetic bragging. Read with reckless abandon and feel free to spontaneously applaud whenever you are compelled.

We had our first big kid, elementary style Parent/Teacher conference today!  Seriously, I am so not old enough for all of this.

So there Lee and I sat across the table from Sloan’s kindergarten teacher and she dove right in to his first quarter report card.  And after that meeting I just needed to brag for a minute because my kid is THE AWESOME!

As far as develpomentally, he’s right on track.  He is reading basic words.  He can write very well, but needs to work on his lower case letters, he can count to 39 (but then skips to 90 and finishes up to 100 – can you blame him?  I’d hate for someone to ask me to count to 100 too. Bo-ring…let’s move on!)

He does have a few problems with phonics, which is understandable since he’s learning to read in two languages right now.  He sometimes mixes russian letters with English.  For example, he spelled ‘can’ C-A-H.  Because in russian the ‘n’ sound is the letter ‘H’.

But it wasn’t the skills that got me all hopped up.  It was the fact that his social skills were all top marks.  He was described as a leader, obedient, happy, a good listener, eager to learn and a great kid.

C’mon – tell me something I don’t know!

Seriously, Sloan is a great kid.  He’s passionate, for sure.  But all around, he’s a really, really good kid.  I’m glad he’s mine.

Lee and I have worked hard this last year with Sloan.  We’re still working hard (will we ever not work hard?) to channel his abundant zest for life in a positive and productive direction.

We really want our kids to be conscious of the world around them.  We’re constantly stressing to Sloan that when he respects his elders, those in authority, that things will go well with him. And today we get to reward him and show him once more that his respect for those around him is only to his benefit and his gain.

We have also worked hard at giving Sloan the confidence to take the lead among his peers.  Sloan by nature tends to follow others.  He so badly wants to be with people and a part of a group that he will do whatever he think needs to be done in order for that to happen.

We have been stressing to him the importance of being a leader, of standing up for what he knows is right and of being an encouragement to people he comes in contact with.  In general, these are things that come naturally to Sloan.  Remember this?  But he does need a few reminders, on occasion. 

You know, because he’s a normal kid.

Anyway, my kid rocks.  He seriously does.  And since I’m already in the bragging mode, I’d also like you to see this:

Old pictures 025

This is part of the play that Sloan will be performing with the kids in his russian class.  The section at the bottom is Sloan’s.  It’s by far the most difficult text he’s had to memorize so far and he’s doing amazing.  He also has to learn a short poem about a bear, which he committed to memory almost immediately. 

I’m just in awe of the way he is learning this language.  I feel like I’m doing him a disservice because I don’t know the language well enough anymore to speak consistently with him.

Which, incidentally, his russian homework is kicking my butt!  I feel like I’m in college again trying to translate all these pages so I can help Sloan understand what’s happening. 

Oh, and Sveta – I might have to ask you for a little help translating this play because good grief! 🙂

Okay everyone – I know you’re so glad you spent five minutes of your time listening to me ramble today.  Try not to be too dissapointed when I tell you I’m finished bragging now.  You’re all free to go about your day.

*wink, wink*

We made it!

Wednesday nights are busy for us.  The kids have Awana’s at church and Lee and I serve in the music ministry.  So it’s always late when we get home on Wednesday and roll our sleepy babes into their beds.

And this morning was the first time we’ve ever overslept.  I rolled over at 7:15 this morning and for a brief moment thought about just going back to sleep and letting Sloan play hooky today.

But reason got the best of me and I dragged him out of bed around 7:30, clapped my hands several times, and managed to get him on the bus at 7:57 with hair and teeth brushed, and a tummy full of Cheerios.

Because I rock.

Of course, Landon is still in his soggy diaper and jammies, but one out of three ready to go isn’t bad, eh?

The thing is, it’s so hard to wake them up when they look like this:

Fall '09 001

Fall '09 002

I couldn’t even get a picture of Sloan because he was snuggled so deep into his covers that all I could see was a smattering if blonde hair splayed across his pillow.

So the day started a little hectic but the good news is, we’re all well rested!  How was your morning?

A post I wrote about my family heritage went up on 5 Minutes for Mom yesterday.  Go check it out when you get the chance!

Pop-a Pocka Posies

There are days when they fight,

Fall '09 005

When they kick, scream and bite

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There are days when I feel

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Like I’m losing my mind.

Fall '09 008

Those are the days I don’t really like.

Fall '09 009

But then there are days – snapshots frozen in time,

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When they laugh, sing and play,

These days I like.

We came face to face with Big Foot

My kids love a good story.  And as story tellers go, I have to say, my husband and I are pretty good.

Remember this story that Sloan and I concocted with his Star Wars figurines and a dollhouse?

While my stories tend to be rather fantastic and, erm, out there (think unicorns and flying mommy’s) Lee are more realistic and he adds a lot of special sound effects.  He’s actually freaked Tia out with his stories so much that she immediately burrows under her bed covers before he even begins. 

And, well, you know how we get pleasure out of terrifying our poor children

Last night was a beautiful fall night.  A little cold for my liking, but pleasant enough for us to take a long walk as a family, then come home and build a fire in the fire pit and roast hot dogs, then sit in a circle and tell stories.

When Lee began telling his story about two little boys camping in the woods where a Big Foot was known to live, a hush fell over our little group.  Tia climbed into my lap and put her hands over her ears as Lee ran around in the shadows of the yard, growling softly, rattling the chain link fence and stomping around.

Midway through the story, Landon climbed into my arms.  Because he’s a bit of a mama’s boy and tends to get jealous when others get my time, I assumed he just wanted to let Tia know that he had a solid stake on the territory of my lap.

Lee ended his story by telling us all to close our eyes.  When we did, he dashed back into  the darkest part of the yard and shook the chain link fence letting out a fierce growl.  Sloan and Tia screamed and laughed.  I let out a mock scream and we all folded over in a heap of giggles at daddy’s fantastic tale.

Until, that is, I tried to extract my poor third child from my arms only to discover he had a death grip on my neck and his little heart was racing wildly.  I pulled his face back just enough to tell him everything was all right and he dissolved into tears and buried his face in my neck.

Landon is only 21 months old, so we didn’t even realize that he was paying attention to our story, much less comprehending it.  But he did, poor baby, and we scared him half to death.  He moaned “Daddy,” and refused to let go of my neck.

I finally extracted him enough to pass him off to Lee who held him tight and reassured him everything was okay, while we both cracked up  looked on in pity feeling deeply saddened that we had scared the boy so much.  Of course, Daddy always has the ability to make everything better and in no time had Landon laughing and happy again.

So, needless to say, I think we have sufficiently damaged the third child enough to ensure that he’ll need significant therapy as an adult to deal with his irrational fear of that mythical creature called Big Foot.

Yay us.

(eyeroll)

Don’t let the door hit you in the—

Mornings are crazy.  We manage to get out the door, but not without a bit of stress.  Can anyone identify?

Here’s how a typical (hectic) morning in the Stuart household looks:

Up at 7:00 – I know, I know…We should get up earlier; things would run so much more smoothly.  I got it!

After breakfast is eaten, beds are made, teeth are brushed and kids are dressed, it 7:55.  Awesome – we’ve got 5 minutes before the bus arrives.  Just enough time for my blood pressure to level out.

Oh, but wait!  It’s getting colder, which means we need coats on, and oh yeah!  The hall closet is so packed with coats that by the time I dig one out that actually fits, it’s 7:58.  Up goes the blood pressure and, at this point, I actually begin clapping my hands.

Yes, sometime in the last year, I actually morphed into the mom who claps her hands at her children.  “C’Mon guys, we gotta go out.  Let’s go, go, go!”  clap, clap, clap.

By the time we manage to get out – usually Landon is the one who ends up outside without his shoes or coat on…poor third child – my heart is racing and I feel like I need a stiff drink.  Don’t worry – I don’t imbibe.  At least not yet.

Once child #1 is packed off to school (loaded down with hugs and kisses – I’m not mean mommy), it’s time for mommy to get dressed because I’m usually shivering out on the front porch barefoot in my pajamas.  Once I get myself dressed and ready and finally get the poor third child fully clothed, I usually discover that Tia has shed her socks and shoes somewhere in the recesses of our house.

And by the time I get her shoes back on her feet, Landon has shed his shoes somewhere in the recesses of the house.  So I threaten Tia within an inch of her life if she removes her shoes again, I clap my hands a few times for good effect, I locate Landon’s shoes and I pack the two younger kids in the car, not even bothering to put Landon’s shoes back on his feet.

At this point, I usually notice that the dog’s food and water bowls are bare and guilt sends my running back in to fill them. 

When I come back out, it’s not uncommon to find Tia jumping around in the car rather than sitting in her seat with her belt buckled.  Thus necessitating the need for more clapping. 

My hands are getting raw.

I hop in the car and then it hits me.  Where are my keys?!  Where are my KEYS?!?

With the clock an ever present reminder of just how late we really are, I search, I tear, I mutter and growl, I stomp around the house, I pass the key ring hanging just inside the door where Lee always tells me to hang my keys when I come in and I glare at it for good measure.

(This evening, when running late for russian school, I may or may not have muttered a few choice words under my breath as I frantically searched for my missing car key.  All the while Lee looked at me in mild amusement and wisely stayed out of my way.  I found it in the bottom of my purse, by the way.  Only after I checked there for the third time.) 

Usually, though, I find them someplace really obvious, like the pocket of my jeans, or on the bathroom floor, or under the crumbled mess of snacks in the bottom of the diaper bag.

And somehow, I make it out the door, dropping Tia off with seconds to spare (loaded down with hugs and kisses, of course).

And many days I head to the gym where I drop Landon off and I fight the urge to curl up in the fetal position in a dark corner and suck my thumb.

Seriously, while I make it seem absolutely awful, our morning routine is not horrible, but it is hectic.  Getting three kids dressed and ready to get out the door can be stressful.

So what about you?  How do you make it out the door in the morning?

To hang or not to hang

For some time (read, two and a half years) Lee has been not so subtly suggesting we hang our television over our fireplace. 

When I say not so subtly, I mean he’s been saying things like, “Hey babe.  We should hang the TV over the fireplace.”

He insists that in order to fully utilize the awesomeness (my word, not his) of our TV, it should be hanging on the wall. 

You know – because it’s a flat screen. (his words, not mine)

This week, he has almost convinced me to give it a try.  But I’m still not sure.  Do I really want my TV hanging on the wall above my fireplace?  How will that look?

Oh my, what to do!

Here are a couple of pictures to give you a visual.  After viewing, please take a moment to vote on the poll.  Because I know that men and women will have different viewpoints on this matter, I’ve included gender specific choices. 

You’re welcome.

This first shot is where the TV is now.  A brief background (because I know you’re dying to know more).  Lee won that TV in a work contest a few years ago.  We had a lovely armoir unit that housed our old, non-flat screen, TV, but the new one wouldn’t fit in it. 

What to do?  We didn’t really want to buy a new TV stand, and I nixed the hangitoverthefireplce idea, so we sawed the top of the armoir off.  Yes, we are indeed hoosiers.

Summer '09 194

This is where Lee wants to hang the TV.  I’m just not sure.  It seems odd to me to have a TV hanging over the fireplace.  What do you think?  Vote below!Summer '09 195

Re-Post: Redeeming Halloween

It’s a lazy, rainy day and I have  a lot to do around the house this morning, so I am recycling one of my post’s from last year.  With Halloween approaching, I figured it was a good time for this re-post.  This was origianlly posted on October 28, 2008.

As the Halloween season approaches I thought I’d pass on the name of a great book that I think is important for parents to read – particularly those who struggle with the concept of Halloween.

It seems that Halloween has gotten a bit of a bad wrap over the years. What can be, and should be, a fun, innocent holiday for children has been mired by slasher movies and horror tales of cult-like sacrifices. This, in my opinion, is unfortunate because Halloween is really a fun time for both children and parents.

The idea of Halloween being a pagan holiday is particularly prevalent among christian circles. I understand where this is coming from. In fact, Lee and I really debated whether or not we would celebrate Halloween with our kids. Both of us just assumed that Halloween was a holiday that opened the door to evil and wondered if we should just scrap it. But, when Sloan was born, it broke my heart to think of not dressing him up and parading him around the neighborhood, showing off his cute, fat cheeks and racking up a little sugary delight.

I also couldn’t figure out how to not celebrate the holiday without it seeming weird and legalistic.  Did we hand out candy to Trick or Treaters, but just not take our kids Trick or Treating?  That didn’t seem right because it just makes the practice of Trick or Treating seem wrong.

Did we turn off all the lights and hide in a dark corner all night, ignoring the Trick or Treaters on our front step?  That didn’t seem like a good conclusion either because how would we explain that to our kids?

And, while I love fall festivals that church’s put on and have no problem attending them, the fact is, they are still a celebration of the holiday called Halloween so I didn’t see how that was a reasonable alternative to Trick or Treating.

So before Lee and I made a decision, I decided it was time to research Halloween. And I am glad I did!

I came across a book called Redeeming Halloween: Celebrating Without Selling Out. This book was published by Focus on the Family, a reputable christian organization whose focus is, oddly enough, on issues that affect families. I learned a lot from this book.

Perhaps the thing that most surprised me was the fact the Halloween, the original holiday, is not pagan but rather a Christian holiday. It stands for All Hallow ‘een or “the eve of the holy ones“.

Under the reign of Nero, a tyrannous and horrible Roman leader, christian’s were brutally murdered in public places. Literally thrown before the lions, christians in early Rome were martyred for no other reason than that Nero felt threatened by them. In A.D. 610, as the church gained more honor, these martyrs were officially recognized and given their own holiday, All Saints’ Day or All Hallows Day. This holiday eventually landed on the calendar on November 1. It was meant to be a day for the church to remember and recognize the believers who died for their faith.

(Incidentally, if you’re looking for an excellent read on the early Christian martyrs, I highly recommend the book Quo Vadis.  It’s a novel, but it’s so historically factual that it barely passes as fiction.  It is one of the most fascinating books I’ve read in a long time.)

Now, there is no denying that this meaning of Halloween has been wildly distorted over the centuries. But the fact remains that Halloween is not pagan, and this book gives great suggestions of ways to celebrate Halloween by merging the traditions that we have today, Trick or Treating, with the true meaning of the holiday. After all, isn’t that what we try to do at Christmas as well? If you think about it, Christmas has also been dreadfully distorted and paganized.

So where did the costumes and trick or treating come into play? The authors state that there is no real conclusive evidence as to where this tradition began but there is some historical evidence that in the mid-1800’s, masquaraders would go from door to door performing plays in exchange for food or drink.

Around this time, a large population of Irish immigrants came to America bringing with them a tradition known as “mischeif night” where they would canvas neighborhoods playing harmless tricks on their neighbors. By the 1920’s, however, this tradition had gotten out of hand leading to true vandalism, so a small town mayor instituted a night where “good” children could go to neighbor’s homes and shops, crying “Trick or Treat!” The idea was that the shop owners should give them a treat so they wouldn’t be “tricked.” Placing this tradition on the eve of All Hallow’s Day was merely a way to designate it as a once a year occasion.

So, for those of you who may be unsure of whether or not to celebrate Halloween, I highly recommend this book.  You still have to do what you feel is right for your family, but you owe it to yourself to be educated about the decision you are making. 

For those of you who celebrate Halloween but feel guilty about doing so – Don’t! You don’t have to skulk around on Halloween hoping no one from church see’s you taking your kids out. Bottom line is that there are ways to enjoy the innocence and the fun of Halloween without partaking of the evil that pervades.

So, in closing, Happy Halloween!

The one where I procrastinate

Hey internets.

It’s 9:45 on Tuesday night and I’m very tired.  Very, very tired indeed.  And yet, here I am, rapping away on my trusty keyboard.  Why? You ask.

Because I’m procrastinating.  I’m putting off.  I’m waiting until tomorrow.  Only tomorrow is today, but I’m reminding myself that no, today is today and tomorrow is tomorrow and tomorrow I’ll get it done.  Except I should have gotten it done yesterday.

Confused yet?

I pitched an article idea about a month ago and it was accepted.  I don’t want to say what it’s about yet, because I just really need to write it first.  But I’m overwhelmed.  And I can’t seem to figure out how to get it started so I keep putting it off and I need to stop putting it off and just get it done. 

I keep thinking that by some miracle of the heavens I’ll have an abundance of free time in which to process thoughts and delve into the aformentioned subject matter.  Then I wake up and remember I have three kids 6 and under and free time is a commodity of which I am sorely lacking these days.

You see, there are no free moments in my day.  Two of my three still nap, a gift for which I am immensly grateful.  And the oldest does “rest” in his room.  But his “rest” usually includes several ventures out to show me the awesome, totally cool, really sweet LEGO ships he’s constructed.  Or the lineup of Transformers he’s laid out.  There are also the frequent bathroom breaks, the much needed drinks and of course the obligatory questions of how much time he has left.

In short – there is little time to complete a significant train of thought.  Which, in general, is not a big deal as I tend to give myself a sweet break during “rest” time in which to read blogs, answer emails and otherwise have guilt free computer time.

Only, I really have some things I need to get done these days.  But I never seem to find the right time to do them. 

Which is why I am now sitting on my couch, rambling on to you poor souls instead of making my brain kick it into hyperdrive and tackle this project. 

And so I have a question for you all.  How do you carve out quiet moments in your day?  When do you find time to sit in the stillness and process thoughts?  How do you get yourself moving on those days when all you want to do is sit and breathe?  Do share.  Perhaps we can learn from one another.

Now, I’m off to sleep.  Maybe I’ll get up early to write in the morning.  Or, maybe I won’t.  I’ve gotten in bed with procrastination, friends.  And she is a persistent bed-fellow…