Motherhood | Page 21 | Minivans Are Hot

My view from here

January 21, 2010 by Kelli

The kids are with my mom this afternoon. I have a small chunk of time in which to be productive but I don’t know where to start. So I’m writing a blog post. And I’m convincing myself that it’s necessary – that it’s work. Because that’s how I roll. Some people, when they get overwhelmed, get hyperfocused…but me? I get flustered.

This is me, flustered.

If you’ll notice Tia’s coat is stratigically placed to cover the dishes in the sink, which it seems pointless to have done since I just told you the dishes are piled in the sink.

*sigh*

Yesterday, as I surveyed my disaster of a home (a home that had, incidentally, been spotless just days before) I felt entirely overwhelmed. So I sent out an SOS on Facebook. Because that only seemed natural.

The responses I got ranged from funny (cry publicly until someone decides to help you out, drink heavily and let little magical elves come in and do the work) to poignant (hang in there because time flies and pretty soon you’ll be old, the house will be empty…and it will still be a mess.)

But one response really struck me. It’s nothing ground breaking – I’ve heard this before and I do know it, but my friend Tina’s word were so sincere and true that I wanted to share them with you. She said:

“Although we spend most of our time like a pet mouse running round and round on a wheel never seeming to get anywhere, I have seen the fruit of seasoned mothers with older children, reared with responsibility in the love of Jesus. It gives me hope that I will reap much fruit for my labor – it is just not quite harvest time.”

Isn’t that a great word?

Yes, my house is a mess and it will always be a mess. Yes, there are drawers and cabinets that are literally bursting they are so full. They practically scream at me to unload and organize them each time I pass, and yet they also remind me that they hold the treasured possessions of my treasured possessions. And right now my work is to pour into those three tiny lives.

Yes, I can better manage my time so that I can get a few things done at a time (something that goes almost completely against my personality, I should add. I like to knock it all out at once, not do a little bit. It’s sort of an all or nothing approach that’s not all that condusive to managing a home with small children…I’m working on it.) But really, in the end, will it matter if my house is immaculate? Do I really want to sacrifice the quiet moments when I am pouring into their hearts and ministering to their spirits just so the laundry can be properly put away?

No, I don’t. And I don’t say that just because I hate putting away laundry. Well…maybe I do.

Today, I choose to put aside the gloom and flustered-idity (mm-hmm, that’s exactly what I said) of my circumstances. Today I choose to rejoice in the few moments of solitude and go about my work joyfully, despite the fact that there is more than I could ever hope to accomplish. Today I choose to enjoy the moment and not wish it away.

And I encourage you to do the same.

(Although, if I’m being honest, I have to say that I’m kinda holding out hope that magical elves do appear in my house armed with Comet and a toilet bowl brush…but that’ll probably never happen.)

Now, I’m off to accomplish the one things that I can do in my short amount of time and it really is something I must do. I’m going to take a shower.

And empty the dishwasher.

Yay me!

Filed Under: Family, Motherhood

More Things I Never Thought I’d Say

January 18, 2010 by Kelli

This time last year, I posted the first edition of Things I Never Thought I’d Say. This is the follow up.

“Please don’t wipe your boogers on your brother. In fact, please just don’t even pick your nose.”

“Guys, quit kissing each other. Brothers and sisters don’t kiss like that.”

“If you’re out of toilet paper, let me know…please don’t wipe yourself with the towel.”

“Are you eating one of the dog’s treats? Gross!”

“No, honey. I’m sure you don’t have the spotted mountain fever.”

“I know you’re mad, but you need to fix your face and shape it up.”

“You can kiss your wife like that someday, but you may not kiss mommy that way.”

“Why is my underwear on your head?”

“Don’t forget to wipe and flush.”

“I’m glad you’re having fun, but daddy’s saw is not a sword.”

“You found a slug? Oh great. No, he can’t sit at the table with us while we eat.”

“No, I don’t think that girl is looking at you because she wants to marry you.”

“What’s that sticking out of your diaper-Did you put something in there?”

“I think he just swallowed a penny.”

“I digged through the poopy diaper and I found the penny! Yeah!”

“I’m going to bed at 8:30 tonight. I don’t care if it’s Friday.”

“Because I’m the mom and what I say rules.”

“Hey! There’s one mommy and three kids – you guys are going to have to give me a break.”

“You NEVER cut anyone else’s hair. EVER. Never-ever-ever-ever-eveeeer.”

“Honey, if you’re naked and your brother is naked, please wait until you’re dressed before you start wrestling with him, okay?”

What about you? What are some things you never thought you’d say? Do share!

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Motherhood

It Can Only Go Up From Here

January 13, 2010 by Kelli

That’s what she said…

Sorry, I couldn’t resist. So inappropriate…

It’s been a morning. Said morning began at 1:00 am when Landon woke up crying for the second night in a row due to a nasty cold. I gently nudged Lee out of bed to deal with it (read gave him a shove and a grunt) since I was on middle of the night duty the night before.

But I might as well have gotten up with him myself because all I did was lay in bed wide awake for an hour listening to him cry and cough on Lee’s shoulder in the other room. And pray that God would give him some sweet rest.

Then I got hot so I turned the fan up. Then I got cold so I turned it down. Then I just felt like I was going to explode out of my skin from being so tired yet unable to sleep.

I finally slept. And I had weird dreams that I had trouble distinguishing from reality when I woke up. I hate when that happens.

I am observing in Tia’s preschool class today, so when Lee got up at 6:00 this morning, I rolled around in bed for a few minutes trying to convince myself that it would be fine to go with wrinkled clothes and bed hair. I even wondered if I was careful not too stand too close to anyone I could get away with not brushing my teeth. Ultimately I decidede that might be a little extreme.

Then I heard the older kids up wandering around and Landon crying again so I dragged myself out of bed and took a shower. I thought Lee was out there with them.

I took my time getting ready because I assumed my husband was holding down the fort. A half hour later when I finally emerged clean and with makeup firmly packed over the bags under my eyes, I was surprised to find Landon still in bed and Sloan sitting in front of my laptop at the island.

I assumed Lee was working in his office in the basement and didn’t hear the kids upstairs destroying the house. I fought back frustration. I got out clothes and started on breakfast then went to check my email only to find that whatever Sloan was doing on my laptop messed it up.

It won’t start. And the error box tells me it’s not going to start then gives me some big long code that is apparently supposed to tell me why it won’t start – either that or it’s the key to the universe. Blast! Why don’t I speak computer!

I consider tarring and feathering my first born.

I call down the stairs to Lee that I need him to be my hero and fix the computer. He doesn’t answer. I yell a bit louder. He still doesn’t answer. I mutter under my breath as I exert the effort to actually walk down the stairs (oh the horror!) only to discover he’s not there. He left early this morning. That would have been nice to know…

At this point, Landon is crying from fatigue; Tia is absolutely sure, positive from the very fiber of her core, that she is going to starve to death before I finish the oatmeal and Sloan swears up one side and down the other that his shoes are nowhere to be found.

And there is an odd odor beginning to permeate the house. I soon discover it’s Landon. His system doesn’t handle cold medicine well. Then I discover the wet sheets and pajamas on the floor from a certain someone who had an accident. They’re lying in the hallway, so the hallway smells.

When I fetch Landon’s diaper I notice that the medicine cup has fallen on the floor and the residue Sudafed has left a lovely pink stain on the carpet. I dab it with a wipe then pull his bear blanket over it.

I finally send off the 6 year old, still considering whether or not tarring and feathering him would constitute as child abuse then exercise my motherly awesomeness by setting the younger two up with the Disney Channel.

I look one more time at my useless laptop and wish again I spoke computer before settling back at the desktop that now feels sooo 2009.

*sigh* It’s only 8:00.

How was your morning?

Filed Under: Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Letters, Motherhood

The One Where My Mom Claws Come Out

December 30, 2009 by Kelli

*update* I returned to the mall today to file a formal complaint and noticed that there was a phone number on the sign in front of the trampolines (where the same girl was working again today, I might add). I called the number and spoke with the man who owns the trampolines. He was very kind and extremely apologetic for her behavior. He told me that this was the second complaint in two weeks he’d gotten on this girl…and she only works two days/week. Yikes. Anyway, he apologized profusely and told me he would be calling me in the next couple of days to set up a time for me to bring the kids in and let them bounce for free. So I just wanted to put that out there – it was the employee, not the establishment and I’m very pleased with the outcome. Happy New Year everyone!

Tonight I had the privilege of taking Sloan on a date to the movies. We are not movie folk. Lee and I don’t love going to the movies (it’s more that we don’t love paying for the movies) and so we rarely go, which means I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve taken Sloan to the theater.

Needless to say, going to see a movie is a HUGE treat. So huge, in fact, that as we walked through the mall, Sloan grabbed my hand and put it on his cheek and said, “Thanks for taking me to the movie mom. This is the bestest night of my whole life…AND of my whole year!”

Glad I could finish out 2009 with a bang for you little man.

We saw Alvin and the Chipmunks. Sloan thought is was HI-LAR-I-OUS. He slapped his knee, he bent over and gripped his sides, he cackled and I think I even heard a guffaw. Even I thought it was a funny movie, though I had considerably more fun watching him clutch his sides in hysterics than I did watching the screen. (The two scenes that had him laughing until I thought he might have an accident? When Alvin gave the football jocks a wedgie and when Theodore got trapped beneath the sheets after Toby passed gas. Ugh – is he all boy or what?)

After the movie, Sloan wanted to walk around the mall for a bit and since it was date night, I decided to give in and let him pick one more special thing to do. He chose to jump on the inflated trampolines in the center of the mall. Lucky for me, I still had Tia’s wallet in my purse from a trip to the store the other day and I was able to borrow the cash needed from her to allow him to do that.

Remind me to replace that before she starts looking for her wallet!

We approached the gates of the trampoline area and Sloan asked if he could jump. The girl in charge looked up from her soup in a bread bowl long enough to roll her eyes then slid off her chair and stomped over to us and flung the gate open.

“Take off your shoes,” she barked at Sloan.

“What?”

*eyeroll* “Take. off. your. shoes,” she said all slow and snotty like. At this point my blood reached a simmering point. I took a deep breath and told myself that maybe, just maybe, she had low blood sugar and our interuppting her dinner was causing an adverse reaction in her body. Benefit of the doubt. I was working hard on it.

Once Sloan had his shoes and jacket off, he climbed up on the trampoline all giggly and smily – oblivious to the snotty girl yanking the belt around his waist. She jerked the straps up then gave him a little shove backwards to the center of the tramp. And my blood reached boiling point. I literally had to grip the sides of the gate to keep myself from lunging over.

At this point, another family walked up and their daughter headed in to the other trampoline, receiving the same rude and rough treatment. The other mom and I made eye contact. I could see that her blood was at the same temperature mine was. Her knuckles were white too.

Our kids commensed to jumping. Sloan wooped and hollered and had the time of his life. I tried to enjoy his glee, but I was too busy watching the girl, making sure that she was doing her job and keeping an eye on the jumpers. She wasn’t. She was busy pouring her soup into her bread bowl and taking a bite.

After a few minutes, she lowered the kids down and without a word motioned for Sloan to step forward so she could remove his harness. He wasn’t looking at her so he didn’t see her. She motioned again. He still didn’t see. So she kicked at the tramp with her knee to get his attention and when he looked at her she motioned vigorously and rudely for him to step forward…still not talking and asking him politely. Then she yanked – and I mean literally yanked – his harness off and stomped over to the other tramp.

When she came to me for the money, I was taking very deep breaths. My face was so hot I feared it might spontaneously combust into a flaming inferno. I leaned way forward and put my nose about an inch from her and began speaking through clenched teeth.

I said, “I understand that it’s late and you’ve probably had a long day, and I see that you are trying to eat some dinner so I’m assuming you’re hungry, but the way that you just treated my son is unacceptable. You’ve been nothing but a snot from the moment we stepped up here and I want you to know that I was watching you and I don’t appreciate it.”

At this point, she rolled her eyes at me. She ROLLED HER EYES AT ME. Perhaps I misjudged her earlier. She didn’t have low blood suger, she had a freaking death wish.

To my credit, I kept my cool and never raised my voice, although my hands began shaking with fury.

“Nobody pushes my kid around, do you understand? That’s my kid right there and he deserves your respect and you will respect him. I don’t care if you like your job or not – you have no right to push my kid around and think you can get away with it.”

I then handed her the money and said, “I will pay you this money, but I want you to know that I am going to the Information desk where I will be filling out a complaint and recommending that you be removed from a job that requires you working with children since you clearly don’t want to be around them. And I sincerely hope that you shape up your attitude and treat the children standing in line behind me better than you’ve treated my son.”

She stared at me and did not respond. Not even a nod. Oh my Lord, you guys, it is by the grace of God I was able to step away I was so furious.

I grabbed Sloan’s hand and as calmly as I could walked away. As I stopped to put his shoes on him, the dad of the other little girl that was jumping with Sloan walked by and gave me two thumbs up. I also noticed a mom who had been standing in line behind me leave the line.

Good.

When I got to the Information desk, they told me they were out of complaint forms (!) but I could come back tomorrow and fill one out in the main mall office. And you better believe I’ll be doing that. That girl has no business working that job.

As we left, Sloan asked me why I told that girl to change her attitude – I decided to use it as a teaching moment and explained to him that that girl was rude and disrespectful not only to me, but more so to him.

“We’re a family, kiddo, and if someone isn’t treating your family right, you need to defend your family.”

He nodded and I think he got the message. He’s a perceptive kid and he knew that she wasn’t acting kind. (Kind! She wasn’t acting human…she was a little monster.) For my part, I’m actually pretty proud of how I handled the situation. I have a tendency to, ahem, fly off the handle and when she rolled her eyes at me I had to fight H-A-R-D not to raise my voice and use a few choice words. Seriously – just thinking about it right now I’m biting my lip with such force that I may pierce it.

But I knew little eyes were watching and I kept my cool. And I think she got the message. I don’t think she cared, but she got the message.

Yay me! *deep breath*

Now I’m off to go release on the punching bag in the basement…

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Sloan Tagged With: Alvin and the Chipmunks - The Squeakqual

What goes around comes around…or comes up in our case.

December 17, 2009 by Kelli

Take a trip with me will you. It’s a trip down memory lane. Pull up a chair, grab a cup of bubbling hot tea and head back to 1984.

I’m six years old and we are preparing to move from the LA area to Wisconsin. Before we leave, we (and by “we” I clearly mean my parents since they called the shots back then) decide to visit a few sites in LA that we missed in the couple years that we lived there.

One of those sites is a tour of the Queen Mary, a retired ocean liner that’s famous for something or other. I honestly have no idea what it’s famous for. I was six. I didn’t pay attention to the tour guide.

Before we boarded the Queen Mary, however, we got a big pancake breakfast. As we headed to the ship, I felt a distinct and uncomfortable rumbling in my stomach. When I mentioned it to my parents they gave me a highly unsympathetic, “Sorry babe. You’ll be alright.”

As we ascended an escalator somewhere inside the Queen Mary, my stomach began to flip upside down. Again I mentioned the issue to my parents. They were behind me and even though I couldn’t see them, I heard their eyes roll back in their heads.

“Kelli,” my mom said, “You always have a stomach ache. You’re going to be fine.”

Hmph. It wasn’t my fault that I was scrawny and gassy. I kept my mouth shut. And the tour commenced.

Just as we reached the main deck, the tour guide took us to a railed off section that looked down into the engine room. The famous engine upon the famous Queen Mary that’s famous for…something.

As I looked down at the massive engine and listened to the tour guide drone on and on about the inner workings of the old ship my stomach flipped again and as it did so, it propelled the food I had eaten earlier up and out of my mouth with vicious force.

What happened next is a bit of a blur. I remember running across the main deck of the ship spewing this way and that, my mom’s hand over my mouth trying to contain some of the wreckage.

I remember my dad running behind us, dragging my brother along and yelling, “Take your hand off her mouth, she’s gonna choke!”

I remember some strange man running next to my mom, yelling and pointing her to the nearest bathroom.

And that my friends is the story of the day I desecrated The Queen Mary. I think I was in college before I was able to eat pancakes again.

Now, fast forward 25 years to last night at a birthday party for a friend. Tia was complaining of a tummy ache. But given the fact that she ate massive amounts of candy and cookies at her class Christmas party yesterday, I held out hopes that it was simply an upset tummy.

She can’t help it that she’s scrawny and gassy.

When we arrived at the bounce house, she jumped all of two minutes and then came and sat down, still complaining of a tummy ache. An hour into the party, my fears were confirmed when Tia clamped her hand over her mouth and her eyes widened.

We were as far away from the bathroom as we could possibly be, we were surrounded by other children, and standing on a carpeted floor next to a giant blow up bounce house that I knew would not be easy to clean.

So I grabbed her hand, clamped my other hand over her mouth and we took off.

We almost made it. We made it at least to the hallway, which was mercifully tiled, before the dam broke.

And that was the day Tia desecrated BounceU. It’s not nearly as bad as puking all over a historical landmark, but the circumstances were similar nonetheless.

And as I cleaned up the poor girl in the bathroom, I wondered if perhaps this was one of those things that fell under the umbrella of my mom’s prayer that someday I have a child that was just like me.

Not cool, mom. Not cool.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Gross, Kids, Motherhood, Tia Tagged With: The Queen Mary

To my son on his birthday

December 16, 2009 by Kelli

Today marks two years since Landon entered our lives. I’m filled with recollections of that day. The snow, the cold, the quiet hospital room, the super easy labor, the painful delivery, and the weight of my son as he was laid on my chest.

It is never far from my mind how close we were to losing Landon. I will never be able to escape the memory of watching his little figure kick and dance on the ultrasound as the doctor explained to me the signs of miscarriage and the likelihood of that happening.

I’ll never forget the fear I felt driving home that day knowing that my child was perfectly healthy, but my womb might fail. It was true terror.

And yet here he is. I am filled with such gratitude that the Lord sustained my body and brought his life to fullness here on earth. Because he is one spectacular little boy and he is by far the best Christmas gift I’ve ever received.

And so, on this day, I share a few things that I want my son to know as he continues to grow.

LANDON

You are loved.

You have an older brother and sister that adore you. Lean on them for protection, wisdom, understanding and companionship.

You will, however, need to know how to defend yourself. I’m proud to say that you’ve already begun using the word “No” liberally, particularly with your sister.

You’ve also learned to hold your own in a wrestling match with your brother.

If, when you are three, your sister comes to you and asks if she can cut your hair – RUN. Run away screaming. Heck, call 911 if you need to. Just don’t let her near you with scissors.

And if she ever asks you to cut her hair – again, run for your life. Seriously – get the heck out of there. Just trust me on this one.

Your older brother will be your protector. He will be your best friend, your mentor and another model in your life. He’s a great kid.

Your sister also adores you. She will be the one that you will torment as the years go on, but she will also be fiercely protective of you. Just make sure you look after her too.

You are more than content to have a sippy cup in one hand and a ball in the other, but one of these days you’re going to need to start eating.

You have a love of sports that is uncanny for your age. Particularly the sports that involve a ball. Your daddy is thrilled.

While you love all sports, you show a particular affinity for football, which makes me a little nervous. If you see me with my eyes squeezed shut at your games one day, don’t be offended.

Your second love, however, is basketball.

If you want a model of Christ, look to your daddy.

If you need advice, tap into your daddy’s wisdom.

You also have two grandfathers who are full of wisdom. Know them and listen to them. You will be a wiser man for it.

But just know, without a shadow of a doubt, that if you ever need a hug, I’m here waiting. I will snuggle you close for as long as you will let me. And as you grow, I will continue to love you unconditionally.

You are my miracle baby, forever and always.

Happy Birthday, Landon Lee.

Filed Under: Family, Landon, Life, Motherhood Tagged With: Happy Birthday

Wherein I leave you with more photographs

December 11, 2009 by Kelli

Today, as the temperatures are hovering in the teens, I am longing to be back in this lovely place. Yes, loooooonging…

This adorable little boy will be two in five days. Excuse me while I go sob in the corner for a bit.

Turns out Tia has a knack for gymnastics. After only a few weeks of lessons, she was bumped up to a more advanced class where she is the only three year old in a group of four and five year olds.

She’s perfected her cartwheel and now does it off our ottoman whilst pretending that it is a balance beam. She is freakishly strong and has no fear. But really, does this surprise anyone? Remember this picture, which I took when she was not yet two years old?

Then, of course, there was this post which described the catalyst for us actually signing her up for a gymnastics class.

Mmm-hmm…We’re not shocked that she’s got some talent in the gymnastics arena. Unfortunately, she’s going to be way too tall for the sport, but we’ll let her keep it up for as long as she enjoys it.

And speaking of Tia – wasn’t it just yesterday that she looked like this standing next to her not yet four year old brother? She is now less than two months away from being four herself.

If anyone has discovered a way to make time stand still, please pass on the secret. Pa-leeeeaaase.

And this one just because. Oh he’s yummy…

Happy weekend everyone!

Filed Under: Kids, Landon, Life, Motherhood, Random, Sloan, Tia

Attempt Number One – Meh…

December 3, 2009 by Kelli

I am attempting to overhaul our eating habits. In general we don’t eat terribly unhealthy, but I have gotten very lazy in my food preperation in the last several months, to where I’ve found myself feeding my kids endless amounts of already prepared, processed food that tends to be cheaper and easier to fix.

But I, myself, have felt very sluggish lately. And I’ve already told you about my severe hormonal imbalances, which are also causing stomach issues. I need to detox my diet a bit and I need to help my children understand that healthy food can be good.

It can, I swear! Ah – if I can’t convince you guys, I’ll never convince them!

I haven’t gone to the grocery store for awhile because I’ve been trying to get all the food I’ve previously bought out of the house first. Yesterday, however, when I opened up the refridgerator and a couple of moths hit me in the face, I decided it was time to hit the market.

I stocked up on a lot of fruits and vegetables. I tried to buy foods that were either gluten and wheat free or low on the glycemic index. I bought Almond Butter and Almond milk (I also bought cow’s milk, but I will use it sparsely). I stocked up on almonds and walnuts and dried fruit, which I plan to mix together to make a trail mix that my children will most likely NOT love.

I bought grass fed beef and hormone free chicken. I bought Salmon, which I plan on taking one bite of and then promptly giving the rest to my husband because…ew.

I also bought a box of Trader Joe’s dark chocolate dipped peppermint cookies because it jumped in my cart and I could not for the life of me put it back on the shelf.

Ahem.

So – I came home, put away the bags of beautiful, colorful groceries, placed my paper bags in the recycle bin (organic whole foods and recycling? GO ME!) and prepared lunch for the kids.

What did I make, you ask?

I made Gluten Free Brown Rice pasta and I added some sauteed bell peppers (my kids love green peppers) a little bit of Olive Oil and a little bit of cheese. It was scrumptous.

Unfortunately, I don’t think the kids agree…

Those were their plates after they left the table.

I was all, “Mmmm…Isn’t this delicious guys?” And they were all, “No.”

Okay, so I didn’t have very high expectations. My kids, in general, aren’t a huge fan of pasta. But I hoped the colors and the cheese and the all over beauty of my healthy creation would lure them in. Not so much. They did eat the Organic, whole yogurt I gave them, though.

Yay.

I wonder how they’re going to feel about the Almond Butter and Honey sandwiches that I will prepare on Gluten Free bread for dinner?

Any guesses on how long this dietary change of ours will last?

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Motherhood, Random

I blame it all on them

November 16, 2009 by Kelli

When I was a kid, I ruled at MEMORY. Seriously, I was untouchable. You picked up the shoe? Oh I’ll remember where it is. Ten minutes could pass and I’d still remember where that shoe sat, patiently waiting for me to find it’s match. Oh yes, my friends – I was hardcore.

I remember vividly sitting on the floor in my bedroom, my Walkman firmly placed over my ears, Leslie Gore’s greatest hits blaring (I was only allowed to listen to Christian songs or Oldies so I tended to rock out to Leslie Gore with all the fervor that my scrawny little body allowed). I was usually bundled up against the frigid Wisconsin chill that seemed to permeate the air 10 out of 12 months every year.

I was usually seated on the floor next to my black and white bed with the hot pink and torquoise accent pillows. They matched, of course, the black, white, turqouise and hot pink wallpaper border in the cream colored room. Ah, the eighties were grand weren’t they?

I would spread those memory cards out and play against myself, all the while belting out “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry if I Want To,” at the top of my lungs. Sometimes my parents or my brother would join me, perhaps in an effort to get me to stop singing…

Huh…

Whatever the case, I welcomed their company because it gave me a chance to show them who was MEMORY boss. Oh yes – I was an unstopable force.

Fast forward 25 years to today as I sat with my kids and played MEMORY. We also were fighting off a November chill, though it was decidedly less dramatic than the Wisconsin chill in my past. Michael Jackson’s Greatest Hits blared through the MP3 player (my musical standards are significantly lower than my parents were. Although I guess for my kids, Michal Jackson falls under the umbrella of Oldies. That’s depressing…)

And I got my butt kicked today. By Tia, then by Sloan.

Even though I cheated and peeked at some of the cards as we were setting the game up, I still lost by a rather significant margin.

I blame it on the kids. My mind was like a vault before I had kids. I nearly had a photographic memory, which came in handy in college. I never needed a calendar or a day planner because I could remember dates and events without a reminder. Studying? I was a master crammer. I could visualize words on a page and regurgitate them on a test (as long, of course, as that test was in written form. If numbers or equations were involved I was totally screwed.)

These days I’m happy if I remember to take off my slippers and put on real shoes before I leave the house.

I think pregnancy kills brain cells. Then there’s the pushing, in which whole sections of the brain simply die. And the parts of the brain that were still firing on full capacity? Those areas are severely handicapped by the lack of sleep. Thus leaving you with only half a brain that’s only half functioning. So clearly us moms are at a severe disadvantage!

And then there are the hours and hours of kids songs, cartoons, Veggie Tales, Elmo and a whole variety of images and sounds the seems to stimulate our children yet drive us deeper into a semi-comatose state where we can no longer remember if today is Tuesday or Wednesday and what time does the bus come and when is that pizza party that I volunteered to help with?

Yeah, I blame it on them. That’s why my memory is completely shot. But I won’t tell them that. Oh no. I’ll let them think that they won simply because mommy was being nice. There’s no need for them to think any different.

Right?

Filed Under: blast from the past, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Motherhood, Random, Sloan, Tia

Intentional Parenting

November 5, 2009 by Kelli

In the few years that it’s been since Lee and I become parents to one child, then a second and finally a third, we’ve learned a LOT about this journey called parenting. A LOT.

And from what I hear we’ve only scratched the surface. *deep breath*

One of the things we are learning in large amounts right now is the idea of intentional parenting.

This is not a new or ground breaking concept. Plenty of people are parenting with intention and Lee and I were doing so to an extent before the year 2009 – but this year has definately been a year of growth for us in our parenting.

While we have been intentional in the past about teaching our kids basic, common sense virtures like sharing, kindness, obedience, etc…We’ve learned this year that we need to step up to the plate and really dig into this parenting thing.

Before, so much of our parenting took place only in the now. We were controlling the behaviors in the hopes that the immediate future would be impacted and changed, but we weren’t necessarily thinking of down the road.

Not that we were completely oblivious to the people our children would someday become. Like any parents, we often dream of who our children will grow into. We have hopes, dreams and ambitions for them. And the number one prayer of our hearts since the day any of them entered this world was that they would grow in wisdom and stature and they would find favor with God and man.

But back to intentional parenting. This year has been about learning how to parent our children with the future in mind. Why do we want them to obey immediately? Certainly immediate obedience makes our day run much more smoothly. But beyond that, a child who is taught to respect and obey his parents immediately will grow up with a respect for authority and a drive to complete tasks in a timely fashion.

But it’s a not a blind obedience that we’re asking for. Before this year, I used to think that because I said so was the parental charge for action. It was the acceptable excuse and was never to be questioned. Ever.

Now, while I still believe there is a time and place for because I said so, I try harder to give my kids a reason for their obedience.

You need to put your shoes on right away because if you don’t, we won’t be able to get to school on time and you will have to walk into your classroom late and that would be embarrassing.

You need to pick up your toys because if you don’t, mommy or daddy might trip over them and get hurt.

You shouldn’t run in the store because someone might not see you and you could cause them to fall and get hurt or break something.

We’re trying to instill in our kids a moral reason why they need to obey. Not just demand that they obey. We’re also reinforcing to them the fact that when they do obey immediately, things will go well with them. Life is much smoother for a child who knows how to respect the authority of adults.

Life is also much easier for adults who know how to respect their authorities. Isn’t it?

You see, we’re trying to be intentional about teaching our children how to live responsible lives. I require them to make their beds simply because it’s a responsible thing to do. We ask them to clean up their toys simply because they need to take responsiblity for the things that are theirs. So that someday, as adults, they will know how to live lives that are responsible and effective.

So that I won’t send off two boys into marriage and stick their poor wives with slobs who don’t know how to help out around the house (Lee is a great example for our boys in this area).

And so I don’t send off my daughter off to be a wife and leave her with no clue how to take care of a home, cook a meal, care for others.

It’s intentional, you see, this thing called parenting. And it’s hard. It’s really, really hard. It’s so much work. It takes so much energy and time. And my kids are still young. God help us when the game of life gets more complicated than cleaning up a little Play-Doh and picking up LEGO’s.

This concept of intentional parenting is very deep. And if you’re interested in more, I highly recommend the study Growing Kids God’s Way. It’s an excellent study on the the why’s and how’s of training up morally responsible, enjoyable, godly children.

And now I am off to intentionally get my younger two out the door to a gymnastics class.

Filed Under: discipline, Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood Tagged With: Growing Kids God's Way