Boyz II Men Were Right: It’s Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday

February 28, 2014 by Kelli

I’ve procrastinated writing this post. I don’t really know what to say that I haven’t already said. I’ve contemplated a million different ways to wrap up this blog that has been such a joy to write, but none of them felt right.

So I ate a little chocolate and hummed this Boyz II Men song softly as I’ve made my way through my morning.

I find it somewhat apropos that I am writing this final post with my sick daughter laying next to me on the couch. I started this blog a little over six years ago as a means to document this crazy thing called motherhood. When I wrote my first post, I had a 4 year old, a 23 month old and a newborn. I was tired, I was overwhelmed, and I thought that my life would be tantrums and poopy diapers from the rest of all time.

I never thought I’d have a career.

I never thought I’d have the opportunity to travel and develop as a writer and creator.

I assumed myself unambitious, not knowing that I was simply hard wired to thrive on inspiration.

I didn’t know all the ways that blogging would enrich my life as a mother and a wife.

Honestly, when I first started, I thought blogging sounded stupid. Write about daily life? WHO WOULD CARE TO READ THAT!

Here we are six years later. Life is still funny, and a bit surprising. I’m still doing my best to raise these children without inadvertently pushing one of them to write a scathing “Mommy Dearest” memoir. Although this morning I did drag my wrestling and crying six year old out of the house and place him firmly on the school bus much against his will, which should give him at least a chapter’s worth of material to share with the world someday.

Yay me…

It’s also a fitting symbol that my minivan, the one we purchased just a couple of months before I started this blog, is dying a slow and pitiful death. It won’t be long before she will need to be replaced by something…newer. Not better (still a minivan, yo!), but different. A fresh start to drive us both literally and figuratively into the future.

It’s like my entire life has become a symbol!

The new website will be a chance for to continue to expand and grow as a writer, as a wife and a mother, as someone who never wants to grow stagnant in life. There is so much still to see and do. So many opportunities to use the gifts and talents I’ve been loaned to bless and encourage others. Perhaps the biggest lesson this blog has taught me is that this life is so much more fun when it’s lived in service to others.

It’s not about me, and I would never want it to be.

So today will be the final post here on Minivans Are Hot. I shall drive my minivan into that goodnight, and when the sun rises I’ll find myself on a new path. Still in a minivan (hawt!), and with plenty of blog fodder to come.

Ugh…that sounds so cheesy, doesn’t it?

In an effort to wrap this up, I’ve decided to share my Top Two favorite posts from each year I’ve blogged, and I’m hoping you’ll appreciate how difficult it was to choose only two posts from each year!

See you next week in an all new space, friends! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for cheering me on this journey.

2008

Literal Art and the Worst Toy Ever Created – In which my husband made a massive Daddy faux pas.

The Same, But Different – In which my husband bludgeoned a possum to death with a crowbar.

2009

The Master Cleanse: A Review – We tried The Master Cleanse. We failed miserably.

Can I Just Go Back to Bed? – The Haircut Heard ‘Round the World.

2010

Boy and Girl and a Cricket Makes Three – When sharing my love story with Lee, I mentioned the time a voyeuristic cricket had his way with me.

The Day we Spent $127 on Soap – Because Lee and I are dorks and can’t add.

2011

The Debate of Our Generation – The one where we try REALLY HARD to convince you that minivans are hot.

Don’t Go Disrespectin’ – Don’t mess with a mom in a minivan.

2012 – (I couldn’t choose two from this year – it was my favorite blogging year)

Hope is Slow – This post from Tanzania was a life changer for me. It’s still impacting me today.

Rise of the Planet of the Blue Monkeys – An open lunch box in the Tanzanian wild is a bad idea. Bad, bad, BAD idea…

It’s Like He Doesn’t Know Me At All – The day my husband dissed Target and invoked the wrath of the internet.

2013

Mom of the Year: Not Looking Good – In which I sent Landon to school in pants caked with Nutella, and I forfeited my Mother of the Year title.

A Bridge Between Here and There – I responded to my friend Shaun’s post and invoked the dreaded ‘S’ word. *gasp*

2014

Tenting with Shamoo – We went camping. In January. That is all.

Exposing the Real Issues in Sochi – This was an important post to me. I’m so thankful it got the traffic it did.

Filed Under: Blogging, faith, Family Tagged With: a new chapter, Moving forward, Saying goodbye, stepping into the future

Nester Says Dance, and All I’ve Got is a Hobble

February 5, 2014 by Kelli

This photo embodies the carefree nature of childhood. That we could all be so free…

Friends, I’m afraid my time on this blog is drawing to a close. It hurts my heart to write those words, it really does. It’s so bittersweet for me to think of moving on, but the truth is, this blogging journey is evolving for me, and I’m slowly allowing myself to be okay with that.

I’m not done yet. I have a few more posts set up for this space in the next couple of weeks, then it will be time to officially say goodbye. That’s the bad news. The good news?

I’ve got a brand new site under design right now that will be ready very, very soon.

I’m not leaving the internet. Oh heavens, no. I like it too much here to walk away. But life has changed, I’ve changed, and honestly…I’m kind of tired of the race.

I wish that I was leaving this site on the top of my game. Not too many months ago, I had thousands of people visiting each week, and I enjoyed writing and sharing my life with everyone. Then, life got hard and something changed. People didn’t want to stay around and read the hard things, and I get it – I really do. The title of my blog insists on light-hearted humor, and I broke that rule, and it simply wasn’t fair.

The truth is, I feel like I’ve had a chair at the “big kid’s” blogging table for awhile, but I’ve never quite been able to scoot my way in. I’ve sat on the fringes, knowing the right people, offered amazing opportunities, and yet still I had to fight to be heard, fight to be seen, fight to stay relevant.

I got tired of fighting. That’s not why I started this journey. I started because I wanted to share the journey of motherhood with others who would laugh at with me. Motherhood is hard, especially when the kids are young and you are literally crawling through crap most of your days. Young mothers, hear me on this: YOU MUST LAUGH THROUGH THESE DAYS!

It is imperative that when you walk into your child’s room and find poop smeared on the wall, that you throw your head back and laugh. Trust me, the journey will be so much more fun if you do.

I loved writing those posts, but I can’t do it anymore. I cannot tell my kid’s stories, because…well, I just can’t. And really, the title of my blog dictates that I continue to tell these humorous stories of motherhood, but to do so would be to compromise my children’s trust in me, and I’m not willing to do that.

So I’m winding down, and I’m preparing to launch Kelli Stuart.com. The way that I write will likely not change there. I still love to laugh, and every opportunity that I can do so, I will. But I’ll feel less encumbered by the title of my blog, and I feel like I’ll have more freedom to share this place that the Lord has led me to:

A place where I’m motived by the inspiration of the world around me. A place where I get back to my first love, and the dreams I held as a wide-eyed college graduate – writing books. I traded that love for blogging some time ago, and while I don’t for one second regret the journey I’ve taken these last six years, I do feel like it’s time to move forward in my craft.

My friend Myquillin wrote a beautiful post today in which she processes her return home after a second trip to Africa with Compassion International.

“Dance in your kitchen.

Do your thing well.

Share what you have.”

Nester writes these words, and they stir in my soul. I haven’t been dancing in this space of mine. I’ve been trying so hard just to keep up, to be noticed by those sitting around the “big” table, and somewhere along the way I got tired. I’m sorry for that.

I don’t feel like I can dance here anymore. All I’ve got is a hobble. But can I share where I have been dancing?

Yesterday I wrote the first three pages of my second novel. My first novel is in the hands of an editor, and my heart hopes and prays it will be picked up for publication by the end of this year. Words make my soul dance, and stories give me song. In my new space, I will continue to let the words dance, and I’ll do so less encumbered by the title of the site, and more free to dance in the inspiration that moves me.

This isn’t my official goodbye. I have a few more words left to document here. But I’m getting close, and as I do I feel a dance coming on. I do so hope you’ll join me there.

Blessings, my friends.

Filed Under: Blogging, faith, Life, Moving Tagged With: Blogging, Life, Moving forward, Novel, The Nester, writing

When God Says Dream Bigger

February 6, 2013 by Kelli

As the dust of a fallen dream begins to settle and my heartache quells a bit, I find myself at a crossroad. I look to my left and to my right and there are options. One of the roads is easier than others. It’s paved and smooth. This road is lined with vibrant green grass that is meticulously groomed and there isn’t a stop sign in sight.

It’s open. Safe. Secure.

Boring?

Another road is dark. It’s a little gloomy and cloudy. I don’t really know what to expect on that road, but I think it’s backed up rather indefinitely with traffic. Bumper to bumper, no end in sight. Scary.

And there’s another road. It’s straight uphill and quite honestly, I don’t know what I’ll find when I get to the top. The road is gravel and full of potholes. There are stop lights hanging every few feet and it seems as though I may have to push my way to the top here and there.

But it could be exciting.

This is a metaphor…clearly. You knew that already, right?

Oh good.

The good news is, we have options. That is very good news. Option one is to take the safe road. Lee and I could easily chalk this adoption trial up as a failure. We could dust off our hands and turn to the left – the safe road. We could keep moving forward with our three beautiful, biological children. We could quit tucking extra funds aside and finally buy a smokin’ new minivan, that Mac laptop I’ve been coveting and maybe even take our children on a rockin’ vacation.

Safe. Secure.

Boring?

We could continue to wait this adoption thing out or better yet, we could switch to a new country. We could step forward on the next road – the dark and scary one that is currently stalled with the longest red light in the history of ever. But as I’ve found these last few weeks – being stuck in the dark is gloomy and sad.

I need something to look forward to.

This isn’t to say we’ve completely given up on adoption, but for right now we are taking a step back and waiting for direction. It’s coming – slowly – in little tiny puzzle pieces that I think will eventually fit together.

So we turn toward the hard road. This is where we are right now. We’re standing at the crossroad and we’re looking up, waiting for instructions on when and how to move forward.

I’ve spent the better part of the last month asking God why. Why did He bring us to this point? Two weeks ago, I was an emotional mess. It was the lowest I have ever felt. I could hardly drag myself from my bed and when I did, I was immediately overcome with fatigue and sadness. In my distress and confusion, I cried out to God. I poured out my why as a drink offering, laying my burden of grief at the alter and begging for some sign that He still had a plan.

I opened my Bible and the pages fluttered and fell to Isaiah chapter 1.

Isaiah 1:17 says “Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow.”

My initial reaction upon reading this verse was to throw my hands up in exasperation. “That’s what I’m trying to do!” I cried in frustration. But then I had to stop and sit still.

Remember when He told me to wait? How quick I am to forget such things.

And in the two weeks since I read that verse, He has provided sign after sign that He’s not done with us yet. I’m starting to get the feeling that God wants us to dream bigger. He wants us to defend the orphan, but this goes beyond simply adopting. (Hahaha! The phrase “simply adopting” made me laugh out loud. That’s an oxymoron…)

I don’t know what it is we’re supposed to do just yet. I’m waiting. Sometimes I wait patiently. Other times I tap my toe in impatient anticipation.

But this one thing I know without a doubt: We have never been called to live a life of fear and choosing the safe road benefits no one – not us, not our children and it certainly doesn’t help the orphans in distress. So we’re waiting and prying loose tightened fists so we can stand tall and move in freedom toward that which He has placed before us.

Will you pray with us, for both clarity and wisdom? And while we’re praying, can I pray for you? Is there something big and scary looming before you – a path that seems to be a little bit harder? How can I pray?

Filed Under: Adoption, faith, Family, Life Tagged With: Adoption, Defend the Orphan, faith, Moving forward