Minivans Are Hot

On the Russian Adoption Situation

April 15, 2010 By Kelli 7 Comments

As a family who is seriously praying over and considering the possibility of international adoption (particularly from Russia or Ukraine – I’ve written about my love for the adoption process before here), we are following this story pretty closely. It breaks my heart to read about this situation and I find myself frustrated and angry.

When any parent enters an adoptive situation, particularly with an older child as this one was, there is the potential for psychological or emotional issues. Any child that has been neglected and virtually unloved for much of his life is going to have problems adjusting and accepting love.

If what the adoptive mother in this situation says is true, then I agree that the little boy she adopted had severe emotional problems and that she likely felt overwhelmed and incompetent to parent him. But here’s the kicker:

YOU DON’T PUT A CHILD ON AN AIRPLANE WITH A NOTE PINNED TO HIS CHEST AND SHIP HIM BACK TO RUSSIA!!!!!!!

The absurdity of what she did is astounding. This is a child – not a defective puppy or a ripped shirt that you can just return. It’s a CHILD. A child she agreed to parent, incidentally. She never told her adoption agency of the problems she was having with her son.

Her SON. She adopted him. He was her son. In my mind, that is abandonment and she should be ashamed of herself.

No. She didn’t make anyone aware of the struggles. She didn’t ask anyone for help. She just shipped him back. What did she think was going to happen?! Did she think the Russian government would send her a thank you note?

Thank you, Madam, for your honesty and forthright thinking in this sensitive matter. Of course, we would be happy for you to come over and take a look at our other children and find one that better suits your needs. Perhaps a mild and meek little girl who will sit quietly and let you brush her hair all day long.

Ugh! Can you tell this story has gotten me a bit riled up?

There are so many ways this woman could have handled this situation. She could have given her adoption case worker a heads up, first of all. She could have gotten counseling both for herself and for her son. The fact is that she hadn’t even had this boy for a full year. So no – I don’t think she put any effort into helping this child overcome his obvious issues.

There are even reports that in December, this woman told her adoption agency that she would like to adopt a second child from overseas – something she was discouraged from doing right away. So clearly, this woman has an equal amount of problems and likely shouldn’t have adopted in the first place.

But what about the child she shipped back? What happens to him now? He’s branded as being violent and psychologically unstable. He spent the first seven years of his life in a Russian orphanage and he is finally told he has a mother – someone who will love him unconditionally – and what does she do? She abandons him. Sends him packing. What will this do to this precious boy’s heart? It literally makes me sick to think of this little boy and what he’s been through.

And now, because of this woman’s foolish, careless and selfish decision, Russia has shut down adoptions to the U.S. until better regulations can be set in place. I don’t blame them. I just hope that this doesn’t destroy the trust forever. I also hope that this doesn’t set into motion stipulations and regulations that are so impossible to meet that U.S. families will no longer be able to afford Russian adoptions.

The fact of the matter is that adoption is never to be taken lightly. In my viewpoint, if you are called to adopt a child and a child is placed in your care, then that child was ordained for you by God just as your biological children were ordained for you by God. I know not everyone probably holds that same viewpoint and it’s probably really easy to say that if you don’t have a problem child. But I know many people who have adopted or fostered children from around the world who had severe emotional problems and I have seen the power of perseverence and love in the life of a troubled child.

Does that mean it was an easy road for those families? Nope. Not at all. But they didn’t love their adopted child any less than they would have a biological child who had a difficult temperament.

If Lee and I choose to follow this route of adoption, we will, of course, pray that God spare our adopted child of severe emotional distress. But I trust beyond a shadow of a doubt that should God choose to give us a child that is more difficult to parent, He will also equip us with the grace to parent the child well.

I could go on and on about this, but I think I should stop now before I break out in hives. And I shall now climb off my soap box and carefully tuck it away once again…

Filed Under: Adoption, Family, Life, politics, Random, Russian, things I don't need to hear

Valentine’s Day: The Movie…aka One Hot Mess

February 15, 2010 By Kelli 3 Comments

Spoiler Alert! If you’re set on seeing this movie then you probably don’t want to read any further, although you may want to save your money and pass on what I thought was a ridiculous film. Your choice.

Three years. That’s the last time Lee and I saw a movie in the theater together. So yesterday we decided to go see a movie. We wanted to do something low key, easy and relaxing. A movie seemed like a good idea.

And what better movie to see on Valentine’s Day than a movie titled…Valentine’s Day? We expected it to be sappy, cheesy and predictable. What I didn’t expect, however, was for it to be bad. Horrible even.

I know that Hollywood is out of touch with the real world. And there is no better evidence of that fact than the train wreck that was Valentine’s Day. It was pretty to watch, yes. The stars were in full force and were all fun to look at, but there was no substance. And the view of “love” portrayed in the movie? Ah…pitiful.

In this movie, love was portrayed as sex. I don’t know that they were intending to give off that message. In fact, I kind of think they were trying not to convey that exact message, yet everytime characters discussed matters of love, it was done so parallel to the topic of sex. It was hard to find a separation between the two. Characters were in and out of bed, married, gay, phone sex operators, in high school and on and on and on. It was seriously dizzying to try and keep up.

Adding to the ridiculousness of the storylines was the fact that none of them really made sense. It was like the writer wanted to tell ten stories and somehow had to make all of them connect and the connections were random and haphazard.

There were teenagers trying to find the perfect time and place to lose their virginity only to decide ultimately that they didn’t want to force a “magical moment” but wanted to let it happen naturally. The Taylor Swift teenage line? Pointless, silly and as dumb as her character.

Then there was the story of the angsty, love-starved gay football player (played by McSteamy, aahhh…like I said – the only positive thing I can say about the movie was that I got to ogle Hollywood’s most beautiful men for two hours). This storyline had no.thing. to do with the overall plot of the movie. It was political and it felt political and the entire theater laughed out loud when the storyline came to fruition because it was just, well…stoooooopid.

Then there was the adulterous cad played by Patrick Dempsey (McDreamy - I hated seeing him play such punk). Jennifer Garner and Ashton Kutcher were, perhaps, the only storyline that were vaguely enjoyable (though entirely predictable) to watch. But most of the story involving those two was just sappy fluff. It was D-U-M, Dum.

And speaking of adultery, the one couple that seemed to have it all together was the older, supposedly wiser couple who were preparing to renew their wedding vows for their 40th wedding anniversary. And when counseling the young teenager who was trying to decide when to have sex for the first time it comes out that the wife was unfaithful to her husband years earlier. They ultimately patch things up and stayed together, but it added to the idea that fidelity is just unattainable so why bother?

And those were just a few of the storylines in this convoluted movie.

As we sat in the crowded theater, I found myself squirming and cringing as I looked down at the row of high school girls sitting in front of us. Oh the terrible messages they were receiving about love, sex, marriage. Love isn’t sex and sex isn’t love. It’s possible to fall in love and stay in love with one person for the rest of your life and *gasp* enjoy it!

I know…crazy concept, huh?

There’s so much more I could say about this movie, but I don’t want to so I’ll move on. But my recommendation? Save your money and skip this movie. I wouldn’t even recommend wasting one dollar on it at Redbox. Seriously, it was that bad.

There you have it – my one movie review. And given the fact that it will probably be another three years before Lee and I make it back to the theaters, I’ll likely not be offering another for awhile.

*sigh of relief*

Filed Under: Russian Tagged With: Valentine's Day: The Movie

America the Bo-ring!

December 21, 2009 By Kelli 3 Comments

It was a packed weekend and there is just so much to share and document! But by far, the highlight of the weekend was the annual Russian-American school Christmas party. I look forward to this party every year. It’s loud, chaotic and loads of fun.

I’m tellin’ ya – the russians know how to throw a party! It just makes me happy because it makes them happy. Seriously, grown ups and kids alike have a ball. And who wouldn’t when characters like these come out for Christmas?

This is Winter. She sang, she dance, she whooped and hollered and kicked up her heels. Who knew winter could be so much fun?

See? She’s having a ball.

Then there was this fella. He was the MC and he sang everything in a warbling, Dean Martinesque voice.

Then, of course, there was Baba Yaga, the forest witch who’s always trying to ruin Christmas. She sings too…

And what is Christmas without Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf?

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.

And look how much fun they’re having? Don’t you wish you were there? And yes, that’s a singing tiger on the end. I told you it was a fun party.

And then the older fella on the left came out (I’m not sure who he was supposed to be – his mic was muffled so I couldn’t understand him) and he went fishing and pulled out the singing fish, which you can see on the right.

And of course, the highlight of the party is the unveiling of Ded Moros (Father Ice aka Santa Clause) and his granddaughter, Snegurichka.

They sing too…

Sloan and Tia thought it was rockin’ awesome.

And why wouldn’t they? They got to sing, dance, play toss the ring on the goose…

They didn’t dress in costume because I forgot about the tradition of kids dressing up for Christmas. But other kids dressed up, like this little doll:

Who can resist a little blonde boy in a cow costume?

And at the end, Ded Moros, alongside all the other characters, gave out Christmas gifts. Sloan came home with a digital photo ornament, which he thought was the bee’s knees, and Tia got a huge art set.

Ded Moros gives good gifts.

I gotta tell ya, when I go to parties like this I realize how boring America is. I mean, all we’ve got is Santa, Frosty and Rudolph. Bo-Ring. Give me a singing tiger and dancing bear and then we can celebrate Christmas!

S Razhdyestvom! (Merry Christmas)

Filed Under: Christmas, Holidays, Kids, Russian, School, Uncategorized Tagged With: Russian American School

Is this Russia?

November 19, 2009 By Kelli 3 Comments

Tonight was the semi-annual Russian-American School concert and it was nothing short of adorable (albeit a little drawn out…).

And because this is a mommy blog and I’m a proud cheesy mom, I am going to document tonight’s happenings with great zeal. Because that’s what I do! I don’t scrapbook people – this is all I’ve got.

There was singing, dancing, acting and so much adorability (totally a word) I left with a sugar high. Just take a look:

Isn’t she yummy? She did so well. She said her poem loud and clear and wasn’t nervous at all. It was an on night for sweet Katya (or Katinka as the Russians call her).

My performance shy first born chose to play it cool. But when he recited the poem I told you about a few weeks ago, he incited quite a bit of praise from the very proud and impressed crowd. And so as not to embarrass the poor child, I did not let out the “Whoop!” that so desperately yearned to escape. I simply gave him a tender golf clap and blinked hard against tears of pride.

I. am. a. dork.

And because I know you’re dying to watch, here is a short clip of them reciting their poems. Seriously, it’s 38 seconds long. Happy viewing and Happy Friday!