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She is Mom

May 18, 2010 by Kelli

Today is my mom’s birthday. And I can’t think of a better way to celebrate her than to publicly affirm how much I love and appreciate her.

My mom is an amazing woman. She is beautiful, strong, funny, kind and giving. Where I struggle to remember birthdays and important occasions, my mom always remembers to send a card, a box, a gift, something to make sure that person feels like they are the most important person in the world.

My mom gives sacrificially of her time, sometimes to a fault. She has spent countless hours holding, cuddling, sleeping with, playing with and loving on my kids. Not because she has to and not because I need her to (though sometimes I do need it) but because she loves me and them so deeply and wholly.

My mom really, truly loves to play with my kids. I think she enjoys it more than I do at times! She has spent so many hours digging in the sand with them, collecting seashells and exploring the beach. Here at home, she always makes sure to have an adventure ready for them, whether it be setting up a “clubhouse” in a closet for them or pulling out the paints and letting them get down and dirty. And thank God for that because painting is not one of my favorite activities.

My mom is a prankster. If you ever find an old toilet in your yard or a headless stone goose, there’s a good chance she’s behind it. She has a wicked sense of humor that’s masked behind her innocent exterior. Don’t let her sweetness fool you, though – she’s trouble…

Growing up, my mom poured herself into my brother and I. She was the pioneer minivan mom – always in the car driving us to this practice and that friend’s house. She was at every gymnastics meet, track meet, hockey game, band concert and school play. And she wasn’t only present, but she was active in cheering and I’m quite certain she clapped the hardest and the loudest.

When I was eight, my parents took my brother and I skiing for the first time. After the morning with an instructor on the bunny hill, we were ready for the big hill. As she and dad rode up the lift behind us and the instructor, my mom was so intent on watching us and making sure that we got off okay that she forgot to get off herself. Instead of letting them back the lift up, she jumped, twisted her knee and ended up with a torn ligament that required several weeks in a brace from her ankle to her hip.

My mom was beyond supportive of Brett and I. In tenth grade, I had a lapse in judgement and decided I wanted to be a cheerleader. Though mom most certainly knew that was not something I would enjoy, she nevertheless supported my desire and worked with me to prepare for try-outs. And then, for the entire school year, she pushed me and required me to follow through on my commitment to the team even though I begged her to get me out of it. I would fake sick, fake cramps, do anything I could to get her to call the coach and tell her I was too sick to cheer. But mom would hear none of it. And so I cheered, and she was in the stands grinning from ear to ear the entire time.

My mom is a strong lady. She has faced more heartache and hardship in life than many people will ever understand and yet you would hardly know it. While she has every right to feel bitter and slighted, she chooses to enjoy the blessings of life. “Life is too short to dwell on the heartache,” she once told me. My mom doesn’t waste time playing the victim and I admire her deeply for that.

Mom has willingly and sacrificially opened up her home over the years taking in anyone who needed help. She and my dad never questioned whether or not it was right – they just knew that there was a need to be met and they met it without hesitation. It wasn’t easy on any of us, least of all mom, but she powered through and poured into the lives that came across her path without regard for the sacrifice. I don’t think she knows what an impact that has had on me. It was difficult, yes, but it’s made me much more aware of the needs of others and what my role is in supporting those who need support. Mom’s sacrifice showed me what true loyalty meant.

When I was four or five, my mom attempted to fix my beloved doll, Big Baby. (My creative prowess runs deep, folks). Because I carried Big Baby around by her hair, her neck was broken causing her head to hang at a crude angle. I remember very vivdly mom taking Big Baby’s head off to see if she could somehow fix her neck.

Mom swears up one side and down the other that that never happened. But don’t believe her – her memory fails her. She also believes that she has never cussed in front of me. Because she is a proper lady, she hasn’t very often, but there were a couple of times where she let a four letter word rip when I was a kid. I remember those moments vividly because I knew that she was at the very limit of her limits and that she meant business. So if she tells you she’s never said a dirty word, don’t believe that either.

My mom has always very intentionally built my dad up in front of my brother and I. I never doubted her love for him or his for her. While they didn’t try to hide disagreements from us as kids, I rarely remember them really angry with one another. What I remember more than anything is how much they laughed together.

My mom has trekked the globe for and with Brett and I. When I spent the semester in Ukraine, I called one afternoon feeling particularly lonely. I had no other Americans to talk to and I was feeling very isolated. Mom rallied the troops and had friends and family send me encouraging letters and emails. And then she took it a step further and booked a ticket to come visit me. It was 20 degrees below zero, but mom took the hour long adventure with me every morning to school and while I was in class, she explored the city.

My mom is a ballsy chick. She has no problem taking off on her own, no matter where she is in the world. She loves a good adventure and isn’t afraid to try new things. I love that about her.

I could go on and on about my mom. There are so many wonderful things to say. But I will end it now by saying that I admire her deeply and am so grateful for the example that she has set for me. I love you mom!

Happy Birthday.

If you have any birthday wishes for my mom, please share them! Let’s give her a little comment love today!

Filed Under: blast from the past, Family, Life, Motherhood Tagged With: Candy Cooper Martin, Celebrating Mom, Happy Birthday

To Arkansas and Back

May 17, 2010 by Kelli

We spent a lovely, relaxing week in Arkansas last week where we kicked off our time celebrating the graduation of Lee’s youngest brother from the University of Central Arkansas. Zach was thirteen when I first met him. He was fourteen when Lee and I got married. And now he’s all grown up, has a job and is such a great guy. I’m so proud of him.

I’m getting verklempt. Talk amongst yaselves. I’ll give you a topic. The Partridge Family was neither a Partridge nor a family…discuss.

We heard rumors that Kris Allen (also a UCA alum) was at the graduation. Actually, it wasn’t a rumor – Zach’s girlfriend got stuck behind the mob of young fans wanting his autograph. I didn’t see him, though, and it’s too bad because I think he’s a doll. I would have stared. I’m not afraid to admit it.

My son is a goofball. Seriously, where does this kid get his over the top personality? Lee and I are so reserved and shy…

My sister-in-law, Becke’, photographer extraordinaire, sat down and gave me some great photo tips. I learned about ISO (they’re like worker bees. Trust me…), f-stop, shutter speed, and how the three work together to create the perfect exposure. I learned how to shoot in Manual mode and, while I need a lot of practice (I still can’t take a decent picture indoors) I came away taking better pictures from just one session. I’m telling you – Becke’s good.

(She is equally skilled, incidentally, at killing mutant Arkansas wasps that better resemble a hummingbird than a wasp using nothing but a Steno Pad and sheer force while others, who are less brave than she, look on. Don’t ask me how I know this.)

Flowers are the best practice subject. They have vibrant color, unique shape and they’re still while you take their picture. Not like my kids who are apparently allergic to sitting still.

See that blurry background? I set that! I determined how much blur I wanted (the f-stop, if you will) and adjusted my shutter speed and ISO to match. Me! Let’s all do the happy dance together, shall we?

Now I just want an editing software. I am hereby entering every contest I come across for Adobe Lightroom or Adobe Photoshop. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I need Lightroom or Photoshop, but my want is riiiiight on the border of a need.

Besides photo lessons and graduation, we enjoyed an abundance of family time. We ate out every night – and when I say every night, I mean every.single.night. My stomach is in rebellion. I’m on a bit of a detox today of dried fruit, water and green tea.

We watched the kids soak up as much cousin time as they possibly could. From putt-putt to Wii, those kids relished every moment together. I loved playing with my cousins growing up and have so many cousin memories, so I’m excited to see my kids building the same memories.

The lone girl. She held her own with all those boys, even trying to convince her older cousin that she had boy parts. We’re still trying to get her to understand that she is, indeed, actually a girl.

The baby of the family was so thrilled to be invited along with all the big kids that I thought he might actually jump out of his skin on the way to play golf.

Sam – the concentrator.

Cade – the sports nut. Feel the emotion.

Eli – the cut up.

Sloan – the one who’s here to have fun.

We are officially back to life, back to reality. But – glory! – school is almost over. Tia has three days left. Sloan has ten. I can’t wait for summer vacation.

How long do you think it will take for me to wish school would start up again?

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Landon, Life, Motherhood, School, Sloan, summer fun, Tia Tagged With: Arkansas, Kids, Lulu Photography, Motherhood

Further proof that I was right – Minivans Are Hot!

May 14, 2010 by Kelli

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Life, Minivans, Motherhood, Random

The Haircut Heard ‘Round the World – One Year Later

May 13, 2010 by Kelli

On May 13, 2009, my children successfully completed a rite of passage for childhood. They did it with reckless abandon and fully confident that what they were doing was brilliant. They were proud of this accomplishment.

But alas, their pride was short lived and shattered the minute I gasped, shrieked and cried, “NOOOOOOOO,” before bursting into tears.

The home done haircut. We all did it as kids. I cut my bangs to the scalp when I was five and my mom reacted with similar shock, horror and anger to mine this day last year. But you see – my kids, they never do anything small. Oh no – they go full in, balls to the walls, after life. It’s a quality that will serve them well in life.

Provided that neither one of them ever decides to become a hairdresser, of course…

I give you – the haircut: Before and After.

Before:

One year later:

Before:

Too bad the mullet is no longer in style

One year later:

Before:

Why couldn't he have done this on the other side?

One year later:

Before:

One year later:

In the midst of my grief last year, so many people were sweet enough to remind me that I would one day look back on that moment and laugh. They were right – I do. But I also still remember that horror and the heavy pit in my stomach. So while I may laugh, I also cringe.

For Sloan’s sake, however, I have lifted the ban on his usage of scissors. This time last year he was forbidden to use them until he was 104. So as you can see, I have come a long way…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Life, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: bad haircut, childhood rite of passage, Children cutting hair, Motherhood

Repost: Sometimes a kiss and a bandaid won’t do

May 11, 2010 by Kelli

This was originally posted in July, 2008 after Tia had lost her beloved Lovey Bear on our trip to SeaWorld. She was devastated, as was I. In fact, I think I cried more than she did. But alas, this story has a happy ending. I ended up tracking down not one, but TWO more Lovey Bears (for a pretty penny, I might add) and that ratty purple bear is still a staple in our home.

And when I say staple, I mean he goes where Tia goes, unless, of course, she drops him while she’s on the run, in which case I end up searching frantically for him. I think it’s safe to say I spend half my time looking for that blasted bear. Sometimes I wonder why I went to so much troublw to replace him…

I’ve pretty much given up hope on finding Tia’s lovey. I know I’ve been talking about this a lot, but it really has been an upsetting thing for her and for me. I spent a little time thinking about it last night because I have honestly fluctuated between crying over that silly bear and laughing at myself for getting so upset. It’s more than just the fact that we lost a little piece of Tia. That, of course, does make me so sad, but it goes beyond those emotions.

As parents, we work hard to fix our children’s problems – especially when they’re little and the problems are so easy to fix. You got a scrape? Let mommy kiss it – all better! You’re scared? Here, come snuggle with mommy. And so it goes…

The problems, in general, are just easier to fix during these young years. But now, suddenly, my daughter has a problem that I cannot fix for her. It’s relatively minor, of course, compared to the real tragedies that could happen. But in her little two year old mind, she is missing her best friend and I am unable to fix that for her. I can’t turn back the clock and look for lovey before we left the hotel. I can’t will him to appear. I can’t find another one on the internet. It’s the first time I’ve watched one of my kids face disappointment and it stinks!

My mom wisely told me the other day that this will not be the last time I have to sit back and watch my child hurt and know there’s nothing I can do to fix it. We are approaching the school days when the sharp, pointed barbs of another child’s words could potentially devastate one of my kids. That is a wound I cannot prevent and it will equally cut through my heart to see them suffer such disappointment. There will likely be some snot nosed little boy that will one day come along and break my daughter’s heart and I will have to sit back and let her be refined through that experience.

Although truth be told, if a boy comes along and makes her cry, he’ll have to be far more worried about her daddy than he will me…

There are so many disappointments to come, so many heartaches that mommy will not be able to kiss away. For now I will relish the thought that for the most part, I am their hero. I can fix their problems, but I am praying the Lord will give me the strength to handle the bigger disappointments to come because if I get this upset over a little bear, what will I do when something worse happens?

With time, Tia will slowly forget that little purple bear. Before long, his memory will exist to her only through pictures and the stories we tell. I, however, will probably always long to find her lovey bear. I imagine that for years to come, every time I pass a children’s section of a store, my eyes will automatically glance through the stuffed animals hanging up disply, looking and hoping to see lovey bear. Long after her affections have moved on to something else, my heart will still long to ease the pain of the few weeks when she longed for her friend, her comfort.

Am I obssesive, or is this just natural? I haven’t figured that one out yet.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Tia Tagged With: Animal Alley Purple Panda, Motherhood, Repost

Favorites Week

May 10, 2010 by Kelli

I’m spending the week in Arkansas and I have limited access to the internet, so posting will be sparse. This is a good thing. I’m enjoying some time away from the computer and plan on reading a lot, sleeping a lot and not having a schedule.

Did you hear what I just said?! Not having a schedule…I thrive on schedules, actually. I hate not having a plan to my day. But the last few weeks have been so crazy and so over-scheduled that I’ve experienced a bit of a burn-out.

And when I say a bit of a burn-out, I mean I’ve been almost in full blown panic mode and have felt the need to carry a brown paper bag with me at all times.

Lee and his dad and brothers left while it was still dark this morning for a week of golfing and boy time, in which I’m sure they will eat, drink and be merry in abundance. And I will spend the time relaxing with my mother-in-law and my kids. Not having a schedule. Not having anywhere I have to be. Not having anything I have to do.

Today was my first unscheduled day and I found myself a little nervous. I didn’t really know what to do with myself. So I took a nap. Then I read a book while watching my kids play outside. Then I went to see a movie with my mother and sister-in-law. Now I’m squeezing in a bit of computer time before I go read some more.

And tomorrow will be more of the same. I’m nervous and excited. More excited than nervous, though…

So I will be reposting some of my favorite posts from the past couple of years this week, while sprinkling in new posts when I have the chance – just so I can have something up here. Enjoy your week, all! 🙂

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Random, summer fun Tagged With: Busy, Motherhood, Relaxation, Vacation

Boy Proposes (Girl Says Yes)

May 7, 2010 by Kelli

It was November, 1999 and Lee and I had plans to go visit my parents for the weekend. We had been talking a lot about marriage, weddings, rings and so on, so I knew an engagement was soon in the making. I had a sneaking suspicion that the weekend we went home, Lee was planning on talking to my dad and asking his permission. And then I figured he would officially pop the question on Thanksgiving.

We were flying out of Austin, Texas that weekend and they had recently opened a new airport, which Lee and I had never been to. The original Austin airport was small and easy to find. The new one…wasn’t.

We left ourselves just enough time to get to the airport, park Lee’s sexy Grand Am and get to our gate with about thirty minutes to spare. This was pre-9/11 days so we figured we could zip through security in no time. What we did not plan on, however, was how long it would take us to get to the new airport. It was significantly farther away than the original airport and as we drove and drove and drove and…droooove, we got increasingly nervous about missing our flight. With an hour to go from departure, we were still roughly thirty minutes from the airport. And I started to panic.

No worries though. Lee floored the Grand Am and we broke the law to screech into the airport with no time to spare. Lee dropped me and the bags off at the front and he raced to park the car. I dashed inside to the ticket agent and asked him to call the flight and tell then we were coming.

“We?” he said, looking around me.

“My bo-erm…My friend is on his way.” I stammered, still not comfortable with the term boyfriend. The guy raised his eyebrows and looked me up and down then nodded and said, “Mmm-hmmm. And where exactly is your ‘friend?‘” he asked, actually using air quotes at me.

And just then, like a knight in shining armor, Lee tore through the door all red faced and sweaty. I motioned, the guy rolled his eyes and told us to hurry. We made it moments before they shut the doors.

When we arrived in St. Louis, I found myself very nervous and jittery. On Saturday morning, Lee and my dad were going flying. My dad had his pilot’s license and he was taking Lee on a flight to Sikeston. And the story I got from that morning goes something like this:

The guys were prepping the plane for take off and talking business. Lee was busy trying to figure out where he was going to work after his two years with K-Life ended. He had recently met with Drayton Mclane, owner of the Houston Astros, and he was exploring some options. My dad, who was on one side of the plane, asked, “So, Lee, how did this meeting come about?” He was asking Lee how he got connected with Drayton Mclane.

Lee, however, was so nervous about asking if he could marry me that he wasn’t really thinking of anything else. So, thinking that my dad wanted to know how the meeting that morning came about, Lee blurted out, “Well Richard, IwantedtoknowifIcouldmarryyourdaughter.”

awkward pause

It took my dad a second to figure out what Lee was talking about and why he had so swiftly changed the subject. Then he made Lee get in the plane and told him they’d talk more when they got to Sikeston. So for an hour, Lee had to sit next to my dad, in a small plane, nervously awaiting his answer.

Cruel. But funny too…

That night, Lee and I went to dinner with my parents. I hadn’t had a chance to talk with Lee to see how the conversation went with my dad. I knew my parents loved Lee so I wasn’t worried, but I was curious. We went to a country club for dinner and as we waited on the salads to come, I ran to the bathroom, throwing my napkin down on my plate.

When I came back, I regaled my parents and friend with my fascination over the country club’s fancy bathroom, which had a light that came on automatically when I walked in.

I’m easily please, folks…

“I mean, how did it know I came in?” I asked. “And how did it know how long I was in there? How did the light know to stay on for me? It’s crazy, huh?”

I looked around to see robotic stares in return. My mom picked her napkin up off her lap and kind of flipped in around a couple of times before laying it back down. But nobody said anything…they just stared at me. It was weird. Finally, the waitress came with our salads and I grabbed my napkin off my plate so she could lay my salad down.

And staring up at me from inside a red lined box was a beautiful diamond ring. I gasped, laughed and looked at Lee who slid down onto one knee. At this point, the whole restaurant was watching as Lee said a few nice things then popped the question. I don’t remember at all what he said, but I know I said yes and I think I said it kind of loud.

Everyone clapped and moved one. I, however, couldn’t stop staring at my hand, with the sparkler glaring at me from my finger. It was so surreal and exciting and I don’t remember anything else about that night.

It was November 6, 1999. We would be married 8 months later.

To read the more of the love story, go here.

Filed Under: blast from the past, Family, Lee, Life, Marriage Tagged With: Boy Proposes, Engagement, Love Story

Wordless Wednesday: Monkey See, Monkey Do

May 5, 2010 by Kelli

Sloan and an Ape made nice at the Zoo last week.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Sloan Tagged With: Kids and Monkeys, St. Louis Zoo, Wordless Wednesday

Girl and Boy and a Cricket Makes Three

May 4, 2010 by Kelli

As Lee and I lead up to our 10th Anniversary, I am chronicling some of the favorite memories of our years together. You can read our love story here.

By the fall of 1999, Lee and I were an official “item.” Although neither one of us could ever really call each other “boyfriend and girlfriend.” It sounded silly and trivial and we’d giggle every time we said it. We also felt very strange and junior high when we would walk and hold hands. Because we knew that marriage was imminent, it almost felt like hand holding and labeling trivialized our relationship.

When we returned for what would be my senior year at Baylor, Lee decided to go to the K-Life Board of Directors and tell them about our relationship and his intentions for it. Because he was on staff and I was a volunteer leader, technically we weren’t supposed to date. I was willing to step down as a volunteer if I needed to in order to officially date Lee, but I did not have to do that. The Board was not only supportive of Lee and I, they were excited for us. And for that entire school year, they really poured into us as a couple. What a blessing that was.

So we were free to move forward as an official couple, and move forward we did. Every available moment we had, we spent together. Because I was in my final year and it was kicking my tail academically, Lee and I spent a lot of time at Barnes and Noble – me studying, him staring dreamily at me…

Okay, not really – I think he usually prepared his K-Life talks or Bible studies, but I like to think that he was so distracted by my beauty that he got nothing done at all during that time.

For those of you who have been in Waco in the autumn, you will know that what I am about to write is no exaggeration. Every fall, Waco experienced what can only be described as the Plague of Crickets. Thousands upon thousands (maybe millions) of crickets would swarm the town, covering buildings, falling from the sky and altogether making my life a living hell.

I’ve told you about my unnatural fear of crickets here. This fear stems from my years as a Baylor student. And the fall of 1999 was the worst cricket infestation of all my years there. You couldn’t go anywhere without seeing one or 10,000 crickets. They were in restaurants, churches, libraries, classrooms – every-freakin’-where.

One evening, as Lee and I sat in a quiet corner of B & N studying and talking, I kept a wary eye on the crickets that were crawling on the wall next to us. It was at a particularly intense moment of conversation that I felt a tickle on my calf. I gasped and slapped at my leg, shaking my pants around a little. Lee laughed and called me paranoid and we moved on.

A moment later, I felt another tickle on the back of my knee. I yelped and shook my leg under the table. When no cricket came tumbling out, I decided that maybe I was being a little crazy. Until…

I felt something crawling on my thigh!

At this point I leapt to my feet in the silent but crowded book store where several people were studying and began hopping and dancing about as I stuck my hands down my pants and dug for the voyeristic little cricket. I finally felt my hands close around it and I snatched it out of my pants and threw it across the room with a scream.

I looked around to see all eyes on me and Lee doubled over in laughter. I gave a little smile and wave, then slowly sat back down all shaky and hot. Lee was still laughing. I glared at him and leaned forward.

“Lee,” I hissed. “Did you see that?”

He snorted.

“Lee!” I was desperate for him to understand the seriousness of the situation. I had just been viciously attacked, for crying out loud.

“That cricket was in my pants,” I stage whispered in horror.

Lee sat up and wiped his eyes, then looked straight at me. “Well,” he said with a grin. “Lucky cricket.”

My mouth dropped open and my face got hotter still. Then we both started cracking up.

And then we left…And I have had a severe Crickiphobia ever since.

Filed Under: blast from the past, Family, funny stuff that happens, Gross, Lee, Life, Marriage, Random Tagged With: Baylor, crickets, dating, Falling in Love, Waco

We Were En Fuego

May 3, 2010 by Kelli

This weekend we:

Were feeling motivated and inspired so we took advantage of the rarity and tackled a few major yard projects. First, we took down the swing set, much to the kids dismay. They really loved playing on it, but after nearly five years we felt like it was getting a little old and unstable. Why did we feel that way? I think it was the fact that it shook perilously every time one or more children climbed on it…

We let the kids cross the monkey bars one last time before dismantling their beloved swing set.

After taking don the swing set, we decided that it would be nice to completely open up our backyard. And in order to do that, the chain link fence would need to go. So we took it down. And we are both wickedly sore after doing so. But the yard? Looks awesome.

Notice the dog in the corner who is now leashed to a tree. She is the only one not impressed with our hard work.

We also took advantage of the great weather and planted flowers. Have I mentioned that I love spring?

A few other weekend activities included:

– Lee and I attending the wedding of a friend. I was her counselor at a children’s camp when I was in high school. And she’s married now. I feel old…

– My sweet friend Lindsey (who is also sister to the above mentioned bride), and I went to visit with the man who forever altered the course of my life when I was fifteen and he took me on my first mission trip to the former Soviet Union. He is now battling a cancer that is extremely aggressive and is ravaging his body. For almost three hours we sat and talked with him, laughing, reminiscing and soaking up his wisdom. I would like to write more about Gary, but I need some time to process all that we discussed yesterday. But I would like to ask that you join me in praying for him and his family.

– Tia asked me to braid her hair so that she could look “woody pitty” for daddy. So I did. Then I took pictures.