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Are we having fun, yet?

November 19, 2012 by

This post has been spotlight featured on BlogHer. I’m so glad to know other people understand and can relate to this roller coaster called parenting. If you’re stopping by from Blogher, welcome! I’m so glad you came.

“He pushed me!”

“He called me a dumb head!”

“She started it!”

“I’m not her fwiend anymore.”

Somewhere right in the middle of all that joy, I told them to sit down and smile. “Act like you’re having fun,” I commanded. But, clearly, I was not having fun. SeaWorld wasn’t turning out how I thought it would.

It’s funny how we set up these scenario’s in our heads. I’m going to take them to an amusement park where they will skip merrily from one attraction to another, braids bouncing, hats turned just slightly to the side, contented smiles plastered firmly on their faces.

The sun will shine.

A rainbow will form in the background.

Birds will sing in harmony.

It will be money well spent.

But what actually happens? They fight. They pull each other’s braids and knock hats off of heads. They whine and beg for cotton candy. They complain about tired feet (never mind the fact that they can run in the backyard for hours on end, but ask them to walk 200 yards in an amusement park and suddenly their feet are broken).

It rains.

High winds shut down rides.

A bird poops on your head.

You wish you would have used that money to go get a facial.

I’ve come to the realization in the last few years that special events as a family demand a special amount of patience and a realistic expectation. Expect tears and fights. Expect whining and complaining. But be on the lookout for the joy filled moments, too. They will be there, though in reality there may be more tears than laughter.

We set our kids up for failure when we plan these major trips to the beach, to the amusement park, to the movies, to the zoo or to any place that is going to over exert, overstimulate and over tempt them. Disney World may be the most magical place on earth, but it’s also the most overstimulating and any child that makes it through that park without some sort of melt down is probably just a robot.

It's also best to know that you will NOT look your best at an amusement park. Keep the expectations low, folks...

 So what are the expectations?

 

First, expect some whining and be prepared to deal with it. Stomping your foot and calling your child ungrateful is likely not the best response. He probably isn’t ungrateful so much as he’s overwhelmed. A thousand things to look at in every direction is basically system overload for kids. Be patient while they try to take it all in.

Expect arguing. This one gets under my skin faster than anything else. As evidenced by the above picture, when everyone is fighting I can’t even force a smile because what I really want to do is Hulk Smash Shamoo and his permanent,perpetual grin. But if I prepare myself ahead of time and prep the kids, we can usually make it through the arguments with a tiny bit of sanity.

And we might even have fun in the process.

Expect crying. Don’t get angry when they cry about being tired. They’re kids. They’re going to cry. If they’re tired, find a ride where they can sit down for a bit. Find a cafe and get a drink. Go to a show. If you’re at the beach, sit under an umbrella with a juice box and take a minute to breath in deep.

Give everyone a chance to recover. Landon cried most of the morning while we were at SeaWorld. He was tired and cranky, which made me tired and cranky. Learn from me, friends.

Don’t let this make you tired and cranky!

And don’t Hulk Smash Shamoo. Apparently that is looked down upon by some folks…

Finally, look for the joy and snap those pictures. Wait for the moments when they aren’t really aware of your watching eye and they are full on enjoying a moment. It may be brief. You may only have one or two truly joy-filled moments in a day, but capture and remember them.

And when you get home, be sure to print out those pictures of everyone’s happy, smiling faces and put them in an album. Convince your kids that the greatest thing you ever did as a family was spend the day at SeaWorld or Disney or the beach or the zoo. With any luck, all the memories of the fighting and crying and whining will fade away and you’ll be left with nothing but dreams and rainbows and harmonizing birds.

Creating memories takes hard work. Just be prepared and try to enjoy the ride.

Find the Magic

What’s your favorite family memory?

Filed Under: Family, Florida, funny stuff that happens, Grace, Kids, Motherhood Tagged With: , , ,

It’s like he doesn’t know me at all

November 14, 2012 by

Update: Lee took me out to dinner on Saturday night, but before we went to the restaurant, we went to Target. He bought me the hat. He’s a fast learner, friends. A very fast learner. Let’s all give him a round of applause. *winky face!* 😉

Today, after dropping Landon off at preschool, I headed to the Promised Land. Target. The land of bright, happy colorful things that make the world a better, happier place.

While browsing, I came upon this hat:

I finished watching Season 2 of Downton Abbey last night and I have spent the better part of the last two weeks fawning over the fashions and styles of those days. This hat felt very Downton-esque to me and I quickly tossed it in my cart.

Then I stopped myself and put it back on the shelf, took this picture and texted my husband.

“Christmas gift idea. I love this hat from Target.” I included a winky face, of course, because every good wife should send her husband winky yellow ping pong heads when requesting a gift. It’s like wife-law in the new media age. 😉

I felt rather good about myself after sending this text for a couple of reasons, the main one being that I actually gave my husband an idea instead of shrugging my shoulders and asking the poor man (whose spiritual gift is decidedly not gift giving) to surprise me.

I went on my merry way, picking up on the items I needed and imagining wearing my new hat come Christmas day. Then I got a phone call that…well, frankly it took me very much by surprise.

Me: “Hello?”

Lee: “Alright, we need to get something straight here.”

Me: “Uh…okaaaayyyy.”

Lee: “Target is a store for buying kitchen items. You buy can openers and trash bags and maybe a brushed nickel picture frame from Target, but you do not buy hats from Target.”

Me: *silence*

Lee: “I’m not going to buy you a hat from Target.”

Me: “Why?”

Lee: “You don’t wear stuff from Target. That’s not fashion.”

Me: “You DO know that most of my clothes are from target, right?”

Lee: “That’s neither here nor there.”

Me: “Well, I mean, technically it’s here, because it’s true.”

Lee: “Go to Macy’s or some place like that and pick out a hat. I’ll buy you a hat. You look sexy in hats. But go to a place that makes quality hats.”

Me: “No, that doesn’t make sense. I could find a hat exactly like this one at Macy’s and it would cost $50. This one only costs $16 and I like it.”

Lee: “I just can’t buy you a hat from Target. It doesn’t feel right.”

Me: “Um, babe? You do know that Target is basically the Mothership for women, right? I mean, this is Mecca. It’s the Homeland.”

Lee: “No. It’s a place to buy kitchen utensils.”

Me: “It’s like I don’t even know you at all.”

Lee: “Women really like Target that much? I don’t get it.”

Me: “Clearly….so are you going to get me the hat?”

Lee: “I don’t think so.”

Me: “Huh. Can I buy it for myself for Christmas?”

Lee: “No because I’m going to get you a hat. I’ll get you the greatest hat you’ve ever seen.”

Me: “For sixteen dollars or less?”

Lee: “Go to Kohls. See if they have hats. Kohls is better than Target.”

Me: “I…I just…I don’t even know what to say.”

Lee: “Target is for kitchen supplies.”

I hung up the phone and couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. So I just laughed until I cried, which seemed like a happy comprimise.

First of all, I’m not sure I’ve ever bought kitchen supplies from Target so that alone is cause for a bit of confusion. Secondly, it is clear – CLEAR – he is seeing Target through blue glasses while I see it through pink. That can be the only explanation. Is it the male testosterone? Is that why he’s confused? Maybe he just doesn’t know…doesn’t understand. I think we should all pray for him, that his eyes would be opened to the truth, to the retail glory to which he is so tragically blinded.

I also think that this MORE than makes up for the shock and horror I caused during our conversation about The Natural.

Babe, we’re even. 😉

Now about that hat…

Filed Under: Christmas, funny stuff that happens, Holidays, Lee, Marriage, Target Tagged With: , , , , ,

Redirecting

November 13, 2012 by

Well hey there! How are you? Me? I’m good. Fine, really. Just lovely.

Distracted.

I’ve got my mind on a million other things – things I can’t share, or don’t want to share. You understand. It would probably be boring anyway.

Plus I’m recuperating from a day at SeaWorld. Remember when you were a kid and could walk for miles and be wildly overstimulated and one good night’s sleep was enough to reset everything and send you on your merry way with little to no effects?

Yeah…I’m past that point in life. It’s gonna take at least one more day and one more night’s sleep to recover.

In the meantime, I’m off to draw a winner for the BRAVE giveaway. And I’m popping in to tell you that it’s really lovely here in Florida. 70 degrees. Breezy. Just…lovely.

I’m bragging, I know. Humor me.

Also, well, if you’ve been around here for a little while you’ll remember that I had a…oh, let’s call it a life changing experience last May when I travelled with Compassion International to Tanzania and had the privilege to share all the amazing work that organization does around the world.

Another team of bloggers is in the field today with Compassion, this time in Peru. There are amazing storytellers on this trip, so I encourage you to read every word. Soak it all in and let it change you. Then I encourage you – don’t be afraid of the urgings to change a life. You won’t regret it.

The team is out in the field now and will have posts up later for you to read. In the meantime, you can keep up with them on Twitter by following the hashtag #cbperu.

And pray, friends. Pray for the folks on this team. It’s an amazing experience they are having, but it messes everything up and changes everything around inside. So pray for them as they travel and communicate and write and share and grow and change.

And pray for the children who are waiting on you and me to change their lives. Compassion does change lives. I’ve seen it, so I can tell you it’s true. Pray for those sweet, precious children and their families and for all that Compassion is doing to release children from poverty in Jesus’ Name.

Happy Tuesday, everyone. In this season of Thanksgiving, I am so truly, truly grateful and thankful for all of you.

Filed Under: Compassion International, faith, Grace, Holidays, Ministry, Thanksgiving Tagged With: , ,

Disney-Pixar’s BRAVE – Review and Giveaway

November 9, 2012 by

This giveaway is now closed and a winner will be chosen and notified shortly. Thank you to everyone who entered.

Disney-Pixar’s newest animated film, BRAVE, packs a dramatic and thrilling punch. I really enjoyed it the first time I saw it, but after reading the concerns of others about the film’s content, I wondered if maybe I had missed something. So when Disney contacted me and asked if I would like to receive the soon-to-be-released 5-Disc Ultimate Collector’s Edition, I jumped at the chance.

Since receving the movie last weekend, I have watched it twice with my youngest child. (Remember when you were a kid and could watch movies over and over…and over again?) I have to say, I don’t share the concerns voiced, though I do respect them.

BRAVE is ambitious in a lot of ways. We’re faced with a bold and brash Princess who doesn’t want to get married. This, of course, isn’t the first time Disney has explored that storyline (Aladdin’s Jasmine didn’t want to be forced into marriage, either. I know my Disney movies…) But for the first time, a Disney Princess movie doesn’t involve any sort of love story whatsoever.

Honestly, I found that refreshing.

Merida is not pining for a fella. She wants to grow up more. She isn’t opposed to marriage – she’s just not ready for it. I think this is a good message for little girls…if they even pick up on that theme at all. Chances are, most young ones won’t get the underlying messages of this movie, and that’s okay. Because it’s a fun movie to watch.

(Never before has an animated film left me with such a desire to travel. The scenery is so gorgeous that I’ve got half a mind to pack my bags and move to Scotland.)

BRAVE is a little scary in places. The evil bear, Mor’du, makes several gnarly, growly appearances and the much of the movie takes place at night, which adds an air of tension. This has not affected my children in the slightest, but if you have kiddos sensitive to those sorts of things, you should be aware. It is not, in my opinion, any scarier than other Disney movies (a gigantic octopus witch getting stabbed in the stomach with the mast of a ship anyone? It’s a wonder any of us ever slept again after that one…)

I also enjoyed the complexity that BRAVE explores in the relationship between mother and daughter. Merida and her mom, Elinor, fight almost non-stop the first half of the movie. A few years ago, when my own daughter was younger, this may have bothered me. But considering I wanted to bash my head against the wall this morning due to a battle over shoes (SHOES! JUST PUT THEM ON PUT THEM ON PUT THEM ON!), I get it a little more. This mother daughter thing is give and take and I loved the resolve at the end of the movie on the part of both characters.

BRAVE is a little…um…braver than other Disney films. In one scene, a bunch of the men walk by having shimmied down the palace walls using their kilts as ropes, and we are greeted to our first ever Disney butts. I found this hilarious – you may not. But at least you know. I also enjoyed the relationship between Elinor and Fergus, Merida’s wily, burly father. Yes, the Queen comes off looking more polished than her husband, but he is also a very strong character who fights bears and protects his family without fear. And I love the sweet bond that is shown between father and daughter.

In all, I found BRAVE to be delightful and fun and I’m thrilled with the bonus features on this five disc combo pack (which includes 1 Blu-ray 3D disc, 2 Blu-ray Discs, 1 DVD and 1 Digital Copy). The bonus features further solidify my longing to visit Scotland.

Today, thanks to Disney, I have the privilege of offering one lucky winner their own 5-Disc Ultimate Collector’s Edition of BRAVE. Simply leave a comment to enter. You can leave a comment about anything at all. But if you have been to Scotland before, would you please tell me in the comments section – is it as beautiful as it seems in animation?!

There are four ways to earn additional entries:

 

– Share this giveaway on Facebook, then come back and let me know you shared it.

– Share this giveaway on Twitter then, you guess it, come back and let me know about it.

– Post this giveaway to Pinterest, then come back and leave yet another comment.

– Post about this giveaway on your blog for a final entry.

This giveaway will be open until Tuesday, November 13. I will draw a winner at 12:00 PM EST. I am working with Disney-Pixar in promotion of the release of BRAVE on DVD. I was provided a copy of the 5-Disc Ultimate Collector’s Edition for review. I was not paid for this post. All opinions expressed are my own.

Filed Under: Giveaway Tagged With: , , , ,

Stuff I think you should know

November 8, 2012 by

There are a few things I’d like to get out there and not a single one of them relates to the other. So consider yoursevles forewarned – this post is random. And I’m including bullet points so that my Type A friends can get excited.

 – First of all, the election is over. I’m not sure if you heard or not. Maybe where you are no one’s talking about it? Because where I am every. single. person AND their grandma’s second cousin’s best friend’s are discussing the results. Me?

I’m kind of over it.

It’s over and done and the decision has been made. It wasn’t the outcome I had hoped for, but we don’t always get what we want now, do we? Time to put on our big kid undies and forge ahead. Here’s to hoping we can move forward in kindness and without all the doomsday predictions, name calling and gloating.

The world isn’t going to hell in a handbasket. Not today, anyway. The only response that we can fall back on now is prayer. We must pray for wisdom and protection. We must pray for Israel and for our troops. We must pray for the plight of the unborn and for an immense intervention over the President and the decisions he must make.

Pray and cooperate where you can cooperate. Fight the battles worth fighting, but do so with respect. And realize that our country is headed in a different direction. Perhaps some of you are happy about the direction we’re headed. Maybe some of you aren’t happy about it. Whatever side you fall on, fighting won’t make it better.

We still have to figure out how to get round rolls on square pegs. Maybe we could work together a little more?

And in the end, we’ll always have Nutella. The day that is removed from the shelves is the day we pack our handbasket…

(I’m kidding, by the way. I know there are more serious things than Nutella, but by nature I am an optimist and a glass half full kinda gal. I’m like a cross between Tigger and Rabbit, with a tiny bit of Piglet thrown in for good measure. Please don’t send me nasty emails. Kumbaya, eh?)

                            ****************************************

 – Let’s lighten things up. Did you know that a brand new style blog has launched. It’s written by Mom’s for Mom’s and guess who is one of the Style Maven Mama’s featured?

ME!

Did you guess right?

Wait, why are you laughing? I’m stylish! I have pink hair. And really, come on…YOGA PANTS ARE A STYLE!

Anyhoo…it is a FUN site put togehter by FUN people and will be a place that inspires you to look your best and to have FUN. (The caps lock makes it all seem so much FUN, doesn’t it?)

Hop on over to Together in 10 and get some style inspiration in ten minute bites from some lovely ladies of the web!

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 – I’m still posting on my new website. I have some posts churning, but I need to let them stew a bit. I’ve found it is much more to my (and your) benefit if I sit on posts now and again to make sure that those are words I really want the whole wide world to read.

Or, ya know, the 17 people who visit this blog. Whatever.

KelliStuart.com is up and running. Boom!

                           **********************************************

 – I worked out today. I know that’s not very exciting, but it happens so rarely these days that I feel like it deserves a little recognition.

                             *********************************************

 – I have some big ideas churning around to have a little fun around here while raising money for the adoption. Several friends of ours are currently in country (or have recently returned home) to pick up their adopted children and can I tell you that every time I see a picture of a little one wrapped in the arms of her new parents, I fall into fits of ugly crying?

I long for that day. Who is she? Where is she?

Pray for our daughter, please? Cover her with the wings of your prayerful protection until the day when we can reach her.

Okay – so that’s all for now. Come back tomorrow for a fun little review/giveaway.

Jiggety jig.

(The weather is so chilly right now, I just feeling like jiggeting wherever I go. Jiggety jiggety jig!!!)

PS – How are you doing right now? You’re praying for me – how can I pray for you?

Filed Under: Adoption, Blogging, politics, Random Tagged With: , , , ,

How KidzBop kept me cool

November 7, 2012 by

Last weekend, I snuck away for a few days to join four of my sweetest friends in Waco, Texas to celebrate Baylor’s Homecoming. Sixteen years ago, the five of us met. We were all so different, but we had the common factor of being far away from home and totally lost in a brand new world.

We were eighteen, silly and over the course of four years we developed the kind of bonds that most people only pray for. By God’s grace, I can still say that those four women are some of my favorite people to be around. We’ve lived in different cities for twelve years now. We (currently) have sixteen children between the five of us. We’ve weathered heartache and loss and joys and sadness together. We’ve moved and grown and changed and we always come together without a moment’s hiccup.

We are knit.

Blessed.

This was then. I don't really have an explanation...

We made a pact our senior year of college to try and get together once a year. Moves and babies has made it difficult, but we’ve worked hard to keep that promise. In twelve years, we have had nine reunions. Not too shabby.

This was our first time to come back, all five of us together, to the place we met. And we proved that even though we are, ahem, a little older – we still got it.

Friday night after the Homecoming bonfire, a cover band lit up the stage with music from the ’80’s until now. Unable to resist the urge to dance, we pushed our way to the front of the stage and boogied like it was 1999 (again) and until it was way past our bedtimes. Us and the college kids. I kept wanting to tap the kids shimmeying next to me on the shoulder and ask them to guess my age.

I resisted – decided to blend in.

This is me...blending in.

 

We shook our groove thangs, lifted body surfers over our heads and sang along at the top of our lungs…just like the days of yore. I even knew the words to all the songs!

BECAUSE I LISTEN TO KIDZBOP!

This girl right here has six kids. Would that we all looked that good after six kids...

 

I hereby apologize for every time I’ve bashed KidzBop and it’s fingernails on chalkboard singing. KidzBop kept me cool for just one night. (We’ll ignore the fact that I sang the cleaned up, watered down words to all the songs because that’s the only way I know them…thank you KidzBop.)

I came home refreshed, encouraged and remembering that every season of life brings miracles and grace. I also realized that I am immensely blessed to have dear, dear friends. I’m thankful that I still reap the blessings of my college days through those sweet friendships. What an honor.

Standing in our freshman dorm, sixteen years and sixteen kids after we first met...

So how’s everyone holding up after a long election day? My advice? Put on a little KidzBop and shake your groove thang. It feels good…

Filed Under: blast from the past, Family, Friendship, Life Tagged With: , , ,

Vote or forever hold your peace

November 6, 2012 by

Go vote today!

 

Then go do a cartwheel in the grass!

 

Pump your fist into the air!

 

Give high fives!

 

Play some Bon Jovi loud and proud!

 

Jump for joy!

 

EAT SOME NUTELLA!

 

The election season is flippin’ OVER!

 

Rejoice!

 

But seriously…vote first.

Image credit

Filed Under: politics Tagged With: , , ,

Because I know you’re dying to see Halloween pictures

November 5, 2012 by

I mean…you lost sleep over the fact that I haven’t posted Halloween pictures didn’t you? Come on…it’s okay to admit it. I know you were beside yourself with wonder and curiosity. I know you have been waiting with bated breath to see how adorable my kids looked on candy night.

It’s cool. I get it.

And I will not let you down.

You.

Are.

Welcome.

 

Now if you’ll excuse me – while you look over these and ooh and aah, I am off to try and make sense of my house. I was out of town all weekend and…well….

Super Mario, a Butterfly and David Freese

She wanted to be a princess, but didn't try any costumes on until 5:00 Halloween night. Cue weeping and gnashing of teeth. Nothing felt right or looked good. Oy, the drama. So we slapped on a skirt, butterfly wings, some hair color and make up and BAM! A beautiful butterfly. Score one for mom.

I just can't get enough of this kid.

David Freese

 

So despite a complete and total lack of preparation, Halloween was still a smashing success.

I win.

Filed Under: Halloween, Holidays Tagged With: , ,

Adoption Update

November 1, 2012 by

 I wanted to give a quick adoption update.

WE ARE FINISHED WITH OUR PAPERWORK!

If anything deserves a medal, that does. It was hard, but I’m pretty sure we got it all done. We have also sent into our first grant application and have two more grant apps waiting to be filled out and an application for an adoption loan.

It’s all slowly coming together!

We are working really hard to use several different avenues to raise the needed funds. Adoption is extremely expensive and we don’t for a second assume that we can bring the money in without a lot of work. I’m searching out ways to pull in extra funds through as many channels as I can and we have committed to saving bonuses and cutting back expenses in every way we can.

Right now, we are about $2,500 short of our first payment, which will allow us to have our paperwork looked over and checked for errors. Once that process is finished we can send it all in to have it apostilled, and when that is finished our dossier will be complete.

Friends, this is huge. A completed dossier means we are so much closer to meeting our daughter. I get so emotional when I think about meeting her. Just the other day, Tia and I were cleaning out her drawers and setting aside clothes that don’t fit any more.

“These can be for my sister,” Tia said, very matter of factly.

Her sister.

We are close….and yet, we’re still really far.

We’re $2,500 short of taking the next step. If you feel so impressed, would you be part of this journey with us? We need 250 people who would be willing to give $10. Or 125 people who could give $20. Or 100 people who could give $25.

Would you be part of this journey with us? We don’t take your participation lightly and we are infinitely grateful for all who have joined us so far. It is humbling to ask for help – it is more humbling to receive it. I have been floored by the generosity.

And I know that these are tough times, so please know that our feelings are not hurt if you don’t give financially. Your prayers are equally coveted – prayers for our daughter’s safety and well being (she is very likely already born); prayers that the Lord will bring the finances needed to bring her home; prayers for the emotional safety and protection of our family and children.

We need you all in so many ways. Thank you for joining us.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: , ,

On Halloween and Pumpkins and being a Scrooge

October 31, 2012 by

I’m going to go ahead and lay it all out for you. I am not into Halloween this year. It can just pass on by for all I care, because I have put zero effort in. We haven’t bought costumes, we haven’t carved pumpkins and I’ve got one bag of candy corn to give out.

I’m like the Halloween version of Scrooge. BAH HUMBUG!

Every year, we carve pumpkins. I bake the seeds, we enjoy this very fall-like tradition, but this year? Not interested. Because you see, what really happens is this: Every year the children draw their faces on the pumpkins, then I spend the next two hours scooping the gunk and carving by myself.

This year I decided no. And the kids really haven’t seemed too disappointed, which has diminished my mom guilt only slightly. Now if you all could quit posting your amazing works of pumpkin art on Facebook that would really be helpful.

I did buy three small pumpkins and let them paint them, so I haven’t completely failed. In fact, bring me a friggin medal people!

 

BAH HUMBUG!

 

Tia and Landon are digging costumes out of the costume chest. We have plenty to choose from and that suits them just fine. Sloan wanted to be a zombie or a vampire or something else equally boyish and “cool” but we put the kibosh on those things. I finally suggested he wear his David Freese jersey and a Cardinals hat and told him to go as David Freese.

He agreed.

I’m still waiting on my medal…

BAH HUMBUG!

 

I want to move on past Halloween and into Thanksgiving and Christmas, though if I’m honest, I’m not overly ready for either of those holidays yet, either. The cooler weather this week has gotten me a little more in the holiday spirit, though. Scones and hot tea in the morning make me feel festive. I may have to start listening to Christmas music starting tomorrow to psych myself up for it all.

Micheal Buble Christmas? Yes, please.

So what about you? Are you in the holiday spirit?

Which holiday are you ready for?

Filed Under: Adoption, Christmas, Halloween, Holidays, Thanksgiving Tagged With: , , ,
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