Archives for 2010

More Things I Never Thought I’d Say

January 18, 2010 by Kelli

This time last year, I posted the first edition of Things I Never Thought I’d Say. This is the follow up.

“Please don’t wipe your boogers on your brother. In fact, please just don’t even pick your nose.”

“Guys, quit kissing each other. Brothers and sisters don’t kiss like that.”

“If you’re out of toilet paper, let me know…please don’t wipe yourself with the towel.”

“Are you eating one of the dog’s treats? Gross!”

“No, honey. I’m sure you don’t have the spotted mountain fever.”

“I know you’re mad, but you need to fix your face and shape it up.”

“You can kiss your wife like that someday, but you may not kiss mommy that way.”

“Why is my underwear on your head?”

“Don’t forget to wipe and flush.”

“I’m glad you’re having fun, but daddy’s saw is not a sword.”

“You found a slug? Oh great. No, he can’t sit at the table with us while we eat.”

“No, I don’t think that girl is looking at you because she wants to marry you.”

“What’s that sticking out of your diaper-Did you put something in there?”

“I think he just swallowed a penny.”

“I digged through the poopy diaper and I found the penny! Yeah!”

“I’m going to bed at 8:30 tonight. I don’t care if it’s Friday.”

“Because I’m the mom and what I say rules.”

“Hey! There’s one mommy and three kids – you guys are going to have to give me a break.”

“You NEVER cut anyone else’s hair. EVER. Never-ever-ever-ever-eveeeer.”

“Honey, if you’re naked and your brother is naked, please wait until you’re dressed before you start wrestling with him, okay?”

What about you? What are some things you never thought you’d say? Do share!

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Motherhood

Haiti Relief: How You Can Help

January 15, 2010 by Kelli

The pictures and projected death toll numbers coming out of Haiti are staggering. As many as 50,000 feared dead and more than 3 million stranded or injured on an island that was known for poverty before the earthquake hit. But relief and aid is on the way and for that I am grateful.

You’ve no doubt heard or seen of the numerous trustworthy and reliable organizations that you can donate to and know without doubt that your funds will be used well and fair.

Organizations like the Red Cross have already sent in teams to help with medical needs and to distribute much needed water and supplies to the survivors.

You can also give to Compassion International and World Vision, both of whom already have teams set up in Haiti and are quickly assessing the needs and distributing care and funds where needed. Both of these organizations are stellar, are prepared and will effectively use the funds they raise for the relief of the island of Haiti.

There is one other organization I’d like to make you aware of if you’re still undecided. I’ve written about IsleGo Missions before as they are an organization founded and run by my aunt and uncle out of Orlando, Florida. For a detailed description of who they are and what they do, read my previous post or visit their website. My aunt and I communicated tonight about what IsleGo is doing to respond to the tragedy and rather than try to reexplain what she told me, I’ll just paste her email here:

“As to Haiti, yes IsleGO is taking donations, people are already sending them. Dusty has a huge network base and we also have a partner in Haiti, a hospital that is about 30 miles outside of Port au Prince. This afternoon we sent 40,000 baggies of rice. Each bag has enough to feed one person, in the bag there is rice, spices and nutrients and all they have to do is boil water for have food. We are working on another 100,000 bags to get ready for delivery within the next few days. Dusty is already getting info on putting teams together by February. Anyway, to answer your question, yes we are taking donations. Thanks for asking. Checks can be made payable to IsleGO Missions.”

There is a link on the IsleGo site that leads you directly to PayPal if you would like to donate that way. If you would rather send in a check, leave me a comment and let me know and I will get you the address, or you can contact Dusty and Corinne Cooper personally through the IsleGo site.

No matter what organization you choose to donate through, I urge you all to give something. This is a massive devastation and it is within our power to help those who are suffering desperately. So I implore you to click on any one of the above links and take a few minutes to give out of the abundance with which you have received!

May you all have a blessed weekend.

Filed Under: Blogging, Ministry, Missions Weeks Tagged With: compassion international, Haiti Relief, IsleGo Missions, Red Cross, World Vision

Brain dump

January 14, 2010 by Kelli

With the temperatures warming up to a balmy 42 degrees, I am snapping out of my rebellion against all things weather. We took the kids sledding at the local park again the other night. I’d love to share pictures or video to document, but I brought the digital camera without the media card inside it and the video camera had roughly 45 seconds of battery power. Awesome. Go mom!

But I can paint a word picture. I’m better at that anyway. I have to say that snow is a huge perk to cold weather because sledding is good fun. And finally, Praise be to God, Tia realized what fun it could be. Within about 15 minutes she was sledding down the hill by herself laughing the whole way. It’s a pretty steep hill so the sled gets to moving which means her laugh was a combination of terror and delight.

Sloan brought a neighbor friend with him and they were practicing boy law by competing for who could be the loudest and could say “That was awesome!” the most. I think they tied.

Then there was Landon. I wasn’t sure about how he would do. He’s a little guy…a little guy who loves sledding! He would plop himself down face first on the sled, curl up in a little ball and bark, “Push!” And Lee and I, like Pavlov’s dogs, would comply. We’d run beside the sled about half way down the hill to keep it from picking up too much speed, then we just let him bounce the rest of the way by himself.

He came up with a grin every time.

In the words of my six year old, “It was tooooootally aaaaawesome!”

__________________________________________________________________________

With colds and fevers circulating around our house, we’ve had a couple of rough nights sleep. There is nothing worse than having to get up in the middle of the night when it’s freezing cold and stumble out to the kitchen to get water and medicine for a crying child. So last night, I decided we were going to be prepared.

Before bed, I rubbed down everyone’s feet with Vaporub. It works wonders. I don’t know how, but it does. I plugged in mentholated vaporizers in their rooms and they were all asleep by 7:30. And I went to bed knowing that I was prepared thereby ensuring that I would maximize my own sleepage (should be a word).

And nobody woke up. They all slept through the night.

It’s amazing what being prepared will do!

____________________________________________________________________________

My heart hurts for Haiti. Pictures like this one bring bitter tears to my eyes. (The picture is graphic and it involves children- I just want you to be prepared.) Lee and I talked with the kids today about the earthquake and how we can help them as a family. Sloan remembers the small earthquake we had here a couple of years ago so he kind of gets what happened.

We told them that we were going to be sending some money in to help with the clean up and rebuilding and suggested that they think about what they could give from their wallets. We decided to give them the freedomt o give as much or as little as they feel they need to give.

I’m interested to see what they decide to do.

______________________________________________________________________________-

Today is my nephew Eli’s 7th birthday. We love that little boy – particularly Sloan. He and Sloan are two peas in a pod. I wish we lived closer just so those two could spend more time together.

Happy Birthday, Eli!

___________________________________________________________________________

I’ve run out of things to say. Shocking – I know.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life Tagged With: Haiti Relief

It Can Only Go Up From Here

January 13, 2010 by Kelli

That’s what she said…

Sorry, I couldn’t resist. So inappropriate…

It’s been a morning. Said morning began at 1:00 am when Landon woke up crying for the second night in a row due to a nasty cold. I gently nudged Lee out of bed to deal with it (read gave him a shove and a grunt) since I was on middle of the night duty the night before.

But I might as well have gotten up with him myself because all I did was lay in bed wide awake for an hour listening to him cry and cough on Lee’s shoulder in the other room. And pray that God would give him some sweet rest.

Then I got hot so I turned the fan up. Then I got cold so I turned it down. Then I just felt like I was going to explode out of my skin from being so tired yet unable to sleep.

I finally slept. And I had weird dreams that I had trouble distinguishing from reality when I woke up. I hate when that happens.

I am observing in Tia’s preschool class today, so when Lee got up at 6:00 this morning, I rolled around in bed for a few minutes trying to convince myself that it would be fine to go with wrinkled clothes and bed hair. I even wondered if I was careful not too stand too close to anyone I could get away with not brushing my teeth. Ultimately I decidede that might be a little extreme.

Then I heard the older kids up wandering around and Landon crying again so I dragged myself out of bed and took a shower. I thought Lee was out there with them.

I took my time getting ready because I assumed my husband was holding down the fort. A half hour later when I finally emerged clean and with makeup firmly packed over the bags under my eyes, I was surprised to find Landon still in bed and Sloan sitting in front of my laptop at the island.

I assumed Lee was working in his office in the basement and didn’t hear the kids upstairs destroying the house. I fought back frustration. I got out clothes and started on breakfast then went to check my email only to find that whatever Sloan was doing on my laptop messed it up.

It won’t start. And the error box tells me it’s not going to start then gives me some big long code that is apparently supposed to tell me why it won’t start – either that or it’s the key to the universe. Blast! Why don’t I speak computer!

I consider tarring and feathering my first born.

I call down the stairs to Lee that I need him to be my hero and fix the computer. He doesn’t answer. I yell a bit louder. He still doesn’t answer. I mutter under my breath as I exert the effort to actually walk down the stairs (oh the horror!) only to discover he’s not there. He left early this morning. That would have been nice to know…

At this point, Landon is crying from fatigue; Tia is absolutely sure, positive from the very fiber of her core, that she is going to starve to death before I finish the oatmeal and Sloan swears up one side and down the other that his shoes are nowhere to be found.

And there is an odd odor beginning to permeate the house. I soon discover it’s Landon. His system doesn’t handle cold medicine well. Then I discover the wet sheets and pajamas on the floor from a certain someone who had an accident. They’re lying in the hallway, so the hallway smells.

When I fetch Landon’s diaper I notice that the medicine cup has fallen on the floor and the residue Sudafed has left a lovely pink stain on the carpet. I dab it with a wipe then pull his bear blanket over it.

I finally send off the 6 year old, still considering whether or not tarring and feathering him would constitute as child abuse then exercise my motherly awesomeness by setting the younger two up with the Disney Channel.

I look one more time at my useless laptop and wish again I spoke computer before settling back at the desktop that now feels sooo 2009.

*sigh* It’s only 8:00.

How was your morning?

Filed Under: Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Letters, Motherhood

The Grammar Lesson – aka The Day My Head Exploded

January 12, 2010 by Kelli

Pull up a chair and join us, won’t you, around the kitchen table (actually, if I’m gonna get technical, it’s an island, but whatever. I mean, really, that’s neither here nor there).

It’s time to work on a little grammar. It will be fun! We’re gonna conjugate verbs…in russian*. Just you, me and the six year old…

Pretend you’re a fly on the wall…or the screen. Of course, you don’t have to pretend to be anything if you don’t want to. You can just sit there and read out loud…or to yourself. It’s up to you. Sheesh…let’s move on.

“Okay, buddy. We’re going to learn about verbs tonight.”

“What’s a verb?”

“It’s a word that has action. A word that moves.”

“Words can move?”

“No. I mean, well…yes. It’s a word that shows action.”

“What’s action?”

“Action? Uh, well…action is movement.”

“Oh…” Clear confusion. He’s not understanding. It probably doesn’t help that I’m switching back and forth between Russian and English as I try to explain this to him. I stick with English for a minute because God help me I cannot explain a verb in Russian.

“Okay – run. That word has action. When you run you’re moving, right?”

“Right!”

Score one for mommy. I’m starting to feel good. I can do this – I can teach this kid to conjugate a verb in a foreign language…oh yes I can.

“Great. Talk – that’s a word with action. Play, stand, drive…all these words have actions. Can you think of a word with action?”

“Telephone!”

*awkward pause and the feeling of unbridled grammatical success from half a second before pffffts out like a stiff balloon. “Nnnnooo. A telephone is a noun.”

“What’s a noun?”

Oh geez.

“A noun is a person, a place or a thing. It’s doesn’t have action. It doesn’t move-but that’s not what we’re learning. We’re learning verbs today.You can talk on a telephone, right?”

“Right! Hey – can I call my friend Chris on the phone?”

“Focus, Sloan. Look in my eyes. Okay (here I switch back to Russian) now we’re going to work on verbs in Russian. Let’s start with Want. How do you say ‘I Want’ in Russian?”

“Ya Hochu.”

Feeling of success eases back, this time a bit more cautiously.

“Maladyetz! Very good. Now how do you think you would say ‘You Want’ in Russian?”

*Long pause. He’s thinking about it. I see the wheels turning behind his eyes. I can almost taste victory. Then he breaks out in a wide grin.

“You Vant,” he says in English but using a russian accent.

(sigh) I think I might be in over my head.

*for the record, I didn’t learn to start conjugating verbs until I was in college and truth be told I wasn’t very good at it then and I’m not great at it now. In Russian, there is a different ending for every verb depending on if it’s plural or singular, present, past or future tense. And those endings vary based upon the words, meaning that while there’s a basic model to follow, every word is different and you just have to learn how to say the words correctly.

Tonight we worked on the present tense verbs ‘To Want,’ ‘To Whisper,’ ‘To Scream,’ and ‘To Cry.’

Tomorrow we will work on the future tense.

I think my head might explode.

Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Kids, Sloan Tagged With: Russian Grammer

Not here, but over there

January 11, 2010 by Kelli

It’s a crazy morning and it’s going to be crazier if I keep sitting in front of this computer screen! I’ve got one kid bundled and shipped off to school and two more dressed, fed and plopped lovingly in front of the television.

And now I need to get myself showered and ready for what is to be a busy day. So I don’t have time to spend with you this morning, dear readers.

I did, however, have the privilege of writing a guest post for my sister-in-law, Becke’s, site today. Becke’ is a beautiful writer and photographer and God has blessed me with her as I never grew up with sisters and she has filled that void in my life. Her heart for the Lord challenges me daily and I’m honored that she asked me to write something for her site.

It’s funny, really. I wrote that post last Wednesday after much prayer and consideration. And within a day, God answered a pretty random prayer of mine in a way that I did not see coming. How I wish I could share more of His answer, but I can’t. Not now, anyway. But hopefully soon.

In the meantime, head over to Becke’s blog and check out my post. I pray that you are blessed and challenged by it.

Filed Under: Random

Top 10 ways to know you’ve watched too much Little House on the Prairie

January 8, 2010 by Kelli

10. When the kids are exasperating you, you burst out, “I declare,” in a huff.
9. Your six year old comes to you, clutching his stomach and says, “Mom, I don’t feel good. I think I’ve got the mountain fever.”
8. You have a sudden and bizarre urge to sew something…even though you don’t know how to sew.
7. You wish you owned a pair of snowshoes and a rifle.
6. You ring a bell to signal to the kids it’s time to eat.
5. You have a hankerin’ for a raspberry pie.
4. You use words like “hankerin'” in conversation.
3. You’re craving cornbread and honey.
2. You feel the need to read your Bible in the King James version.
1. Your kids are calling you Ma.

Day two of a snow day (this time due to frigid temps) means we’ve been bunkered down in front of the fire watching more of the adventures of the Ingalls family. We’ve seen Carrie fall down an old mine shaft and Laura survive the Spotted Mountain fever (although in reality she only had poison ivy). We’ve seen Pa swim through a creek and battle three armed men to get Doc Baker and we’ve learned that Mr. Edwards lost his first wife and child to the fever.

And we’re experiencing a little cabin fever of our own. We will have to go out later because there are a few necessities that we need, but otherwise, we’re in for the day. Here are a few shots from our snow fun yesterday. I did manage to get the kids to a park to sled, but the wind was whipping and it was so bitterly cold that we didn’t last long. In fact, Tia, Landon and I sat in the car and watched Sloan sled for most of the time.

Ah well – I tried. Happy snow day everyone!

Filed Under: Family, Kids

Battoning Down the Hatches…or something like that.

January 7, 2010 by Kelli

Well we didn’t get the eight inches of snow they were predicting yesterday (it looks more like 3-4 inches to me) but it’s still flurrying a bit out there so we’ll see what happens. The kids are enjoying their first ever snow day and right now are all piled up on the couch in their soggy pull ups and diapers watching Micky Mouse Clubhouse.

The weatherman says that the snowstorm is finished (but what does he know?) but our temperatures will be falling throughout the day. Falling from 17 with a windchill of 1. They’re saying by midday we should have wind chills hovering somewhere around -15 to -20. I told you the other day about my extreme hatred for cold weather. It makes me all flustered and cantakerous.

To compound things, Lee is currently at the airport waiting on a flight to take him to Phoenix for a work meeting. Phoenix…where it’s warm. (mutter, mutter, grumble, grumble)

So, like Ma Ingalls, the children and I shall power on. We will survive our manless estate during these record low temperatures. I will brave the weather so my kids can sled down the small hill in our front yard. I will throw salt on the driveway and shovel away some of the snow. I will churn the butter and bake corn bread from scratch…

Okay, I’ll probably just rip open a box of Mac and Cheese. I’m more of a modern day Ma.

And we will likely spend most of our day inside where I pray the children do not eat each other alive. If you try to call later and I don’t answer it’s because I’ve locked myself in my bedroom and curled up in the fetal position.

Hopefully all our together time looks like this:

Happy and Gettin’ Along:

We’ll drink hot cocoa and eat the oatmeal cookies that Landon and I made yesterday:

Yes, we will enjoy this snowy morning and we will gather before a roaring fire when the wind chills dip to dangerously low levels. We will read books and eat cookies and watch movies.

It may not be so bad after all.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life Tagged With: Winter snow storm

I’m married and dating a younger man!

January 5, 2010 by Kelli

Did you ever fear when you got married that you would miss dating? That you might long for the excitement of going out with someone new and different – the butterflies, the joy of a shared moment, smiles exchanged, hands held?

I will confess – I did worry about it. It wasn’t a worry that kept me up at night or made me question whether or not I should marry Lee, but I did think about it some in the months leading up to our marriage. I was barely 22 when we got married. I was very young and I knew that by marrying so young I was giving up a bit of “life.” In fact, when Lee proposed to me I was only eighteen months out of my teens.

In short, I was a baby.

Of course, I didn’t think that at the time. I felt more than grown up and I was mature enough to step into marriage. But looking back at it now, 22 seems so very young.

So yes – a couple of times during our engagement, I wondered if I would miss dating. I worried that maybe the thrill of the chase would be over and I would never get to experience that excitement again.

Now that I’m so old (eyeroll), though, I have a little perspective. First of all, I’m happy to say that I still get excited to go out on a date with my husband. How naive I was to think that marriage would squeeze an ever tightening noose around the neck of excitement. If anything, I get more excited to be alone with my husband now than I did back in those early days when I took for granted the endless alone time we had. My husband can still make me giggle and he still gives me goosebumps when he comes out all dressed to the nines and dapper. That didn’t die when we said “I do.”

But, I also now have the opportunity to date someone else. And going out with this young man gives me a new and different kind of excitement. When he smiles at me, my stomach flutters and my heart skips a beat when he holds my hand in public. And he’s only six years old. I never imagined it could be so fun to date my child. Seeing his eyes light up at the prospect of having alone time with me is better than any new romance I ever experienced in college.

I also get to date my daughter. Tonight she and I went swimming at the gym. Just the two of us. We giggled and laughed. We talked directly to one another without interruption. We played and splashed and hugged and kissed. And I had the time of my life. And soon Landon will be old enough to date – although I have to say that the alone moments he and I get when the older two are at school are priceless and precious.

So gone are the feelings and fears that life will somehow be monotonous with the same person day in and day out. I experience a lot of feelings on a day to day basis and I can guarantee you, monotony is not one of them. I am dating more now than I ever did before and while Lee and I don’t do the best job of carving out alone time with one another, the fact is we don’t really have to. I’m perfectly content sitting right here with him as he plays LEGO Star Wars on the Wii and I type away on Lucy. I don’t need the fancy dates that I needed back when I was but a whipper snapper.

I just need my husband by my side and my children close by and all is well.

Although a glass of wine would be nice too…

Excuse me.

Filed Under: Family, Life, Marriage, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: Dating after marriage

In which I ramble on about nothing

January 5, 2010 by Kelli

It’s cold outside. Not brrrrrrrrrrrrr chilly. It’s freeze your face off cold. It’s single digits with wind chills below zero cold.

My husband is checking out real estate in Florida and in the Bahamas. He typically starts this process every October and it tapers off around mid-March. It’s like clock work.

I loathe cold weather. I despise it. I’m not a cussing kinda gal, but if I were this weather would lead me to make sailors blush.

Just to remind you – it wasn’t that long ago that I was here:

I know – that picture makes you want to cry doesn’t it? So ya know – I’m allowed to gripe about the weather. Gripe, gripe, gripe…

Coffee gives me a stomach ache. But I’ve stayed up way too late the last two nights so coffee has been a necessity. It’s either a stomach ache or mommy the zombie.

I drink coffee so rarely that I don’t even know how to make a pot of it. I think I’ve made all of three or four pots of coffee in my life. Good thing Lee got this coffee maker for his birthday. It’s going to make addicts of us yet. And grown ups. Because there’s nothing that makes me feel more like a grown up than a cup of coffee in the morning.

Seriously, I tried to clean Lee’s windshield while driving the other day and the water froze as it sprayed out leaving streaks of ice up and down his windshield. That’s how cold it is. I almost cussed. But I’m not a cussing kinda gal. See above.

It’s Day 5 of the new year and I’ve already slacked on one of my resolutions. My goal is to be more productive with my time. One of the ways I’m hoping to do that is by getting up earlier in the morning and getting my writing done before the kids get up. I’d also like to be dressed before they wake up so that the mornings run more smoothly. I did great yesterday and I was super productive.

But Lee and I stayed up too late the last two nights. Did I mention that already? We’re busy watching Season 5 of The Office. We got it for Christmas. We only planned on watching one episode, but the show is so doggone funny that we couldn’t stop.

In order to accomplish the aforementioned resolution, I think I need to add to it that I get in bed at a decent hour.

My hands are cold right now as I type this. I got new gloves at Target the other day. They have no fingers so I can wear them while I type. They look kind of like this – only not as cute…

And I’m wearing them right now. My hands are warm…but my fingers are still cold. Not totally sure what the purpose is, but I’m going to wear them anyway.

My husband is a bit of a nerd. He keeps yammering on about Facebook and how ridiculous he thinks it is. He’s leaving nonsensical status updates. Right now I do believe he is claiming to be a Greek god on his Facebook page. As nerdy as it is, it’s making me laugh.

I think that means I’m also a nerd.

Okay, I think it’s time for me to close this out. I need to make a second cup of coffee. And I need to put on another shirt because I’m freezing my arse off. It’s not cussing if you write it with a Scottish accent is it?

I also need to start the car. If I let it run for the next 20 minutes it should be warm when we have to leave to take Tia to school. Did I mention it was cold outside? If any of you hear of a job opening in the medical device field in Florida or the Bahamas, let us know…

Okay, seriously – I need to go. This not a productive use of my time. I’m failing abismally at my new year goal.

Stay warm everyone!

Filed Under: Holidays, Life, New Years, Random