Archives for 2010

Puttin’ on our big girl pants

February 18, 2010 by Kelli

I have a confession to make…sometimes the blogging thing gets to me. I love blogging, I really do. I love the record that I’m keeping for my kids. I love knowing that despite the craziness of life, there’s always something I can write about that makes me smile (and hopefully you all as well). I love the connection that blogging gives people, particularly mothers. I love a lot of things about blogging.

There are times, however, where blogging gets a little cumbersome and even annoying. I have to fight the longing and hope for lots of comments (it sounds so petty to say, because deep down I don’t need comments, but sometimes, when you pour a lot of energy into something, it can feel discouraging when there is little feedback). I’m working on that nasty little aspect of my blogging personality.

And then there is the pressure of trying to come up with something interesting to say. Again, I am working on not trying to please and just writing for the pure love of the written word. But the fact of the matter is that I do feel the pressure to be engaging and to write in a way that encourages others, makes people smile and honors my family. And sometimes I just want to walk away – scrap the whole blogging thing and give up the internet altogether.

But the idea of facing the withdrawals is so terrifying that I continue to indulge, if not for myself but for my kids and for family members who enjoying keeping up on our lives.

And because I’m addicted.

There – I said it. I feel better already.

There are other aspects of blogging that I find to be terribly discouraging as well. One of them is the viciousness that the online world can bring out in others, particularly women. It’s terribly sad and thankfully the hatred and gossip is not directed at me, but I am always aware that it only takes one person who disagrees with you to suddenly make the blogging experience a negative one.

You see, the beauty of blogging is that it gives anyone and everyone a platform. The blogsphere is inundated with soap boxes, and that is precisely what it was designed to be. And I’m all for people expressing their opinions – but sometimes, if one soap box crowds another – well, it can get ugly. Here’s the deal – if I enjoy reading a particular blogger’s opinions, I will usually do so (even if I don’t necessarily agree with them), but if I don’t enjoy them or the way that they write, then generally I choose to stop reading. It’s as easy as that. I don’t leave nasty comments, I don’t start hateful blogs in retribution and I don’t vent my hatred for everyone else to read.

In short, I try not to cyber fight. Because there’s no point. Life is too short to get your panties in a bundle over someone who shares a different viewpoint than you.

So recently, when I saw some pretty vicious attacks against a fellow blogger and a fellow mother, I was pretty sickened by it all. So much so that I wanted to shut my blog down and walk away from this little hobby of mine. It may seem silly, but part of me doesn’t want to be identified with the pettiness that can ben associated with blogging (particularly mom blogging) Of course, I’m not going to shut down my blog. The viciousness isn’t directed at me and I don’t even know the person they are attacking personally, but seeing how terribly hurtful mothers could be toward one another caused me to feel so discouraged. I just don’t get it.

If you don’t agree with someone? That’s fine! You’re entitled to your opinion. I’m sure there are some of you who read my blog who don’t agree with everything I say or do. I welcome dissent (respectfully, of course) and I hope that people feel the freedom to share disagreement with me. What I don’t agree with or understand, however, is hateful speculation and false claims without any basis to back up said claims. You don’t like the way a woman writes about her everyday life? Again, that’s fine. But don’t accuse her of being abusive or neglectful of her children or worse, using her child as a cash cow. Those are serious allegations and they are coming from other mothers! I thought we women grew out of this type of behavior in junior high, but sadly that’s not necessarily the case…

Here’s my opinion – if you don’t like what someone says or how she acts, then you should privately go to her, make her aware of it, then walk away and leave it at that. But to start an anonymous blog just so that you and others can make accusations and waste precious time digging up dirt on a fellow mother is just so disheartening and sad, not only for the blogger under attack, but for those who are so desperate to attack her.

There is danger in this online world to somehow separate ourselves from the reality that is life. We can be whoever we want to be, say whatever we want to say and attack whomever we want to attack without repercussion because we are doing so under the umbrella of “free speech” and “keepin’ it real.” I say, let’s live honest lives, not take ourselves too seriously, and get over ourselves.

Life is so short. And I certainly don’t want to waste the precious few moments I have to make an impact in this world harboring jealousy and hatred toward someone I will probably never meet. I would encourage everyone else to do the same. Blogging should be fun. It has the potential to be a special glimpse into those moments in life that pass too quickly. I am working on enjoying this thing called life and living in reality, not in the 15.6 inches of computer screen that sit before me right now.

With that in mind, I will continue to blog, not for the benefit of having my ego stroked in the comments section, but rather for the benefit of knowing that someday, hopefully, I will be able to look back and see a life well lived.

And now, I shall pack up my soap box and move on.

A few asides – one that pertains directly what what’s written above and two that have nothing to do with it at all…

Though many of you are probably already aware of the website to which I am referring and the nastiness that is being directed toward other bloggers, I would appreciate not discussing any of them by name in the comments. I’m not writing this to get into a cyber fight – as I said above, life is too short to engage in such nonsense. I purposely avoided naming names for that very reason. 🙂

For any of you reading this who are interested in learning more information on book publication, I recently led a Lunch and Learn that very topic and wrote up a couple of posts on the St. Louis Bloggers’ Guild site. Check it out if you’re interested.

Next week, I will be leading a break-out session on blogging at the Ladies Nite Out event at my church. If you’re interested in hearing me yammer on about blogging for a bit, then check out this website for information on how to sign up. If you want to come and have no interest in listening to me yammer (and I don’t blame you) but would like to check out some of the other fabulous topics, then go ahead and sign up! It will be a fun event.

Filed Under: Blogging, Life, Motherhood

My son the ‘Playa’

February 17, 2010 by Kelli

Sloan, my adorable, precocious, too-big-for-his-britches six-year-old, is well known for his fabulous, fantastic Quotable Quotes. And he’s popped up with a few doozies the last couple of days. So, without further ado, I give you Sloan…

Image taken by Becke' at Lulu Photography

Yesterday, as he was playing LEGO Star Wars on the Wii (his new obsession), he sat on the couch defeating level after level, all the while singing (to the tune of Star Wars), “I-I-I am Awesome, am Awesome. I-I-I am Awesome, am Awesooome.” And on and on it went. I’m glad he’s confident, but perhaps we nee dto work harder on not being boastful?

Last night, as we sat on the couch watching American Idol, Sloan leaned up against me. “Hey Mom and Dad,” he said. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking RIGHT NOW?”

Me: “Probably not. What are you thinking right now?”

Sloan: “I’m thinking I would like to have a party with no boys…just 1,000 girls.” And a smile spreads across his face.

Me: “Why would you want to have a party with 1,000 girls?”

Sloan (his head nodding up and down all sassy-like): “So I could be by myself with 1,000 girls,” he answered grinning widely.

Lee: “Not me, man. I’d want to have a party with 1,000 boys so we could play ball and have light saber fights. That sounds like more fun.”

Sloan, shrugging his shoulders: “Yeah, I would like that too…But I still want to have a party with 1,000 girls. Oh yeah.”

I feel the need to remind you all once again that he’s six. Oy…

Then, this morning, as the kids were eating breakfast Sloan leans over to Tia and says, “Tia, you’re hot.”

Tia: “No I’m not. I’m not hot, I’m cold.”

Sloan: “No Tia – hot means you’re pretty. It’s like what boys say to pretty girls. They say, ‘Dude, that girl’s hot!”

I…*sigh* There are just no words. Except, perhaps – Will you pray for me?

And now, here is a video of my other “playa.” Landon is going to be our baller. The kid is freakishly coordinated with a basketball already. He can dribble extremely well for a two year old and even after shooting the ball can immediately pick it up and start dribbling without missing a beat. He is nothing short of obssessed with balls and would play all day long. I watch him and Lee play ball together and have to laugh at the pure joy that takes over Lee’s face. Here is evidence.

Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Sloan

So we’ve got this snow

February 16, 2010 by Kelli

While I have not hidden my dislike for the season called winter, I have to admit that snow, when it’s just snow, is good fun. And we’ve had good snow this year. Usually St. Louis, being the armpit of the US, gets the nasty leftovers of everyone else’s weather. Which means that we get ice instead of snow, or we get a dusting of permafrost while North and South of us is pummeled with powder.

But this year, like much of the rest of the country, we’ve seen much more snow than usual and it’s actually good snow. And, while I’m more than ready for spring to, you know, spring into town (*groan*), I have enjoyed seeing the kids romp and slide down snow covered hills, munch on the frozen ground covering and make endless angels from one end of the yard to the other.

Because it was a holiday yesterday, we braved the frigid temps to join our neighbors and sled one more time before all of this lovely snow beings to melt. This means that yesterday got away from me so there are now piles of laundry laying all over the house, dried shoes prints on all the floors, dishes piled in the sink and a wicked smell coming from the fridge due to chives that were left unwrapped. And all that needs to be dealt with today. So I’m going to leave you all with a few shots and get to work putting my house back together.

I hope you all are enjoying the cold weather and snow as much as we are! But, the question begs to be asked – are you as ready for Spring as we are?

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life

Valentine’s Day: The Movie…aka One Hot Mess

February 15, 2010 by Kelli

Spoiler Alert! If you’re set on seeing this movie then you probably don’t want to read any further, although you may want to save your money and pass on what I thought was a ridiculous film. Your choice.

Three years. That’s the last time Lee and I saw a movie in the theater together. So yesterday we decided to go see a movie. We wanted to do something low key, easy and relaxing. A movie seemed like a good idea.

And what better movie to see on Valentine’s Day than a movie titled…Valentine’s Day? We expected it to be sappy, cheesy and predictable. What I didn’t expect, however, was for it to be bad. Horrible even.

I know that Hollywood is out of touch with the real world. And there is no better evidence of that fact than the train wreck that was Valentine’s Day. It was pretty to watch, yes. The stars were in full force and were all fun to look at, but there was no substance. And the view of “love” portrayed in the movie? Ah…pitiful.

In this movie, love was portrayed as sex. I don’t know that they were intending to give off that message. In fact, I kind of think they were trying not to convey that exact message, yet everytime characters discussed matters of love, it was done so parallel to the topic of sex. It was hard to find a separation between the two. Characters were in and out of bed, married, gay, phone sex operators, in high school and on and on and on. It was seriously dizzying to try and keep up.

Adding to the ridiculousness of the storylines was the fact that none of them really made sense. It was like the writer wanted to tell ten stories and somehow had to make all of them connect and the connections were random and haphazard.

There were teenagers trying to find the perfect time and place to lose their virginity only to decide ultimately that they didn’t want to force a “magical moment” but wanted to let it happen naturally. The Taylor Swift teenage line? Pointless, silly and as dumb as her character.

Then there was the story of the angsty, love-starved gay football player (played by McSteamy, aahhh…like I said – the only positive thing I can say about the movie was that I got to ogle Hollywood’s most beautiful men for two hours). This storyline had no.thing. to do with the overall plot of the movie. It was political and it felt political and the entire theater laughed out loud when the storyline came to fruition because it was just, well…stoooooopid.

Then there was the adulterous cad played by Patrick Dempsey (McDreamy – I hated seeing him play such punk). Jennifer Garner and Ashton Kutcher were, perhaps, the only storyline that were vaguely enjoyable (though entirely predictable) to watch. But most of the story involving those two was just sappy fluff. It was D-U-M, Dum.

And speaking of adultery, the one couple that seemed to have it all together was the older, supposedly wiser couple who were preparing to renew their wedding vows for their 40th wedding anniversary. And when counseling the young teenager who was trying to decide when to have sex for the first time it comes out that the wife was unfaithful to her husband years earlier. They ultimately patch things up and stayed together, but it added to the idea that fidelity is just unattainable so why bother?

And those were just a few of the storylines in this convoluted movie.

As we sat in the crowded theater, I found myself squirming and cringing as I looked down at the row of high school girls sitting in front of us. Oh the terrible messages they were receiving about love, sex, marriage. Love isn’t sex and sex isn’t love. It’s possible to fall in love and stay in love with one person for the rest of your life and *gasp* enjoy it!

I know…crazy concept, huh?

There’s so much more I could say about this movie, but I don’t want to so I’ll move on. But my recommendation? Save your money and skip this movie. I wouldn’t even recommend wasting one dollar on it at Redbox. Seriously, it was that bad.

There you have it – my one movie review. And given the fact that it will probably be another three years before Lee and I make it back to the theaters, I’ll likely not be offering another for awhile.

*sigh of relief*

Filed Under: Russian Tagged With: Valentine's Day: The Movie

I Am Innocent

February 12, 2010 by Kelli

Caffeine and I, in general, are not the best of friends. If I even catch a whiff of a caffinated beverage after about 3:00 in the afternoon, I’m usually up all night long. But, oddly enough, if I consume a caffinated beverage in the morning when I’m exhausted and unable to pry my eyelids pass half mast, it seems to take little to no effect whatsoever.

Last night was russian school night. Usually I’m prepared when we go, as the kids’ lessons go right through dinner time, so I often pack dinner and bring it with us so they can eat at school. But yesterday time got away from me and I didn’t bring food, so I ran out and got a little heart hardening fast food and, in a moment of extreme weakness, I ordered a Coke for myself.

Mistake numero uno.

Upon returning home and getting tuckered out kiddos to bed, I prepared hot tea for Lee and I. I used my favorite tea, and made sure I chose a non-caffinated flavor for myself and a regular flavor for Lee, because he’s a freak of nature who’s not affected at all affected by caffeine.

Only I got the tea bags mixed up after I opened them. I sniffed the different teas and tried to figure out which was which, and thought I’d gotten it right.

Um…I was wrong. I figured this out around 1:30 when my mind was still racing and my hands were all jittery-like. Sometime after 2:00 I fell asleep, but it was restless and fraught with vivid and realistic dreams.

Like the dream where I was sent to prison. It was so realistic that I was sure it was happening for real (hence it being realistic…*eyeroll*). I could feel the scratchy fabric of the prison-issued jumpsuit on my skin, I was distraught and upset at the thought of being away from my kids for a long time, I was slightly excited at the prospect of long stretches of alone time…Ahem. I watched other inmates play ping pong with the wardon. They were all very young and good looking. As I watched them play, I actually commented how un-Shawshank my prison experience was.

Then I walked through the large community room where prisoners were reading books and watching TV. Clearly this was a dreamland experience – everything was bright, neat and clean. In fact, it seemed to be a rather pleasant place. From the community room, I walked into my jail cell and I sat alone, stared at a cement wall and cried because deep in my heart, I knew I was innocent and had been wrongly convicted. I’m not sure what I was convicted of, but I just knew I was innocent and I missed my family.

I felt empty knowing that I wouldn’t see the kids for a long, long time and I thought about them growing up without me and wondering why their mom was in prison. And as I thought about these things, I cried harder, to the point that my nose was running and I was approaching a panic attack. It was a very hopeless feeling.

And then I woke up and looked at the clock. It was 4:30, I was sweating and my cheeks were wet with tears. And all I could think as I laid there letting reality sink in was I. Am. Innocent.

Then, after a few minutes, I started laughing. Then Lee rolled over and mumbled something in his sleep about me needing to be still. And I laughed harder.

And, of course, it took some time to fall back to sleep. I couldn’t get the images of “jail” out of my head or the feeling that I had been wronged. By the time the effects of the caffeine finally wore off and I drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep, the kids woke up. And as I dragged my weary body out of bed, I remembered that things could be worse. I could be wrongly convicted of a crime I was unaware of and sitting in a dark, quiet jail cell all alone.

Then I chuckled, pulled on some clothes, and stumbled into the kitchen to make breakfast.

And even now, although I am well aware of the fact that this was just a strange, bizarre, disturbing dream, I can’t shake this feeling that I have been wronged and I somehow need to defend myself.

Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Random

The Winter Blues

February 11, 2010 by Kelli

It’s that time of year. The time of year when Lee and I both being ramping up our desire to move to Florida. The time of year when I drool over beachside properties. The time of year when I just struggle.

It’s the time of year when I look at pictures like this one, which I took last June in South Caicos, and get a lump in my throat as I long for heat, shorts and the smell of salt in the air:

I’ve never thought of myself as a bluesy person, but I’m really feeling bluesy this winter. Part of it is hormonal, I know that. I’m still trying to get things in order after the third born and my body is still not working the way it’s supposed to be working. But a lot of it is just this feeling of blah that comes with being cooped up a lot.

I’m tired of school schedules. I’m tired of the day in/ day out routine. I’m tired of everyone being on top of each other, fighting and bickering. I’m tired of trying to keep the house clean and fighting things like dripping snow boots and layers of clothing. I’m tired of laundry and I’m tired of the TV. I want to send my kids outside and know that they will stay there for a solid hour, expanding their imaginations and exercising their little bodies. Even they are feeling sluggish and blah.

We’re all just tired.

When I was growing up, our family moved to Wisconsin for six years. Wisconsin – the land of the never ending winter. I remember my mom getting very tired of the cold weather and snow and thinking she was loco. Snow was fun! The sledding, the snowmen, the igloos we built in six foot drifts. It was a blast!

Um, I get it now. Winter is not fun as a grown up. Sure, I might enjoy it if I got to sit inside in my jammies all day long reading a book in front of a roaring fire. But I don’t get to do that.

The monotony of winter is what really kills me. We can’t run out to the park to get out the afternoon squiggles; we can’t go to the Zoo to satisfy the itch for exploration; even running minor errands becomes a chore as we have to pile on jackets and sweatshirts – and then there’s the 6 year old, who hates, nay – loathes – wearing pants. It’s a day to day struggle to get him to dress appropriately in the cold weather.

I’ve given up, by the way. I’ve decided to pick my battles and when we are home, if he wants to wear shorts and a T-shirt, he’s welcome to do that. He knows to put on a sweatshirt if he gets cold.

So, I’ll quit complaining and get on to my question. What do you guys do to break up the monotony of winter? How do you fight the winter time blues with your kids? What are some fun activities you do with your kids to keep the TV off and keep them from killing each other?

Suggestions are not only welcome, they’re imperative to my sanity.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Random Tagged With: Winter blues

Wordless Wednesday: The Shadow

February 10, 2010 by Kelli

Sloan has a shadow these days. It follows him wherever he goes and does whatever he does. He doesn’t seem to mind, though.

Not yet anyway…

For more Wordless Wednesday shots, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.

Filed Under: Kids, Landon, Sloan, Wordless Wednesday Tagged With: Wordless Wednesday

The Minivan Mom Runs – Part 2

February 9, 2010 by Kelli

It was 1994 and we were in Spanish Wells, Bahamas for a family reunion. I know, awesome place for a reunion right? There are some definate perks to having missionary grandparents.

This was the summer that it became apparent I would no longer be able to compete in the high jump at school because of back issues so I was trying my hand at running. Spanish Wells is 2.5 miles long and a half mile wide so I mentioned that it would be fun to run around the whole island.

“I’ll go with you,” my cousin Sean piped up.

“Great!” I said, glad for the company. And especially glad that it was Sean as in my eyes he was the bees knees – he still is. I have a lot of admiration for him.

“I’d like to come too, if that’s alright,” my Uncle Cletis said from across the room. He’d recently begun running himself (or maybe he’d been running for awhile, I forget).

“Fun!” I exclaimed. “We’ll go early in the morning before it gets too hot.”

Except, there was just one thing. It was the hottest summer EVAH down there. Which meant that by 7:30 am, which is when we rolled out of the house, it was already in the ’90’s.

About a half mile into the run, I realized I’d made a grave, grave error. Graaaaave error. My first clue came when I looked down at Sean’s calves as he kept pace in front of me. They were thin and muscle-ly.

“Do you run a lot?” I heaved, sweat dripping into my mouth.

“I have been,” Sean replied. “Actually, I’ve been biking a lot. I’ve been doing 70-80 mile bike rides along with my runs.”

“Oh,” I said, swallowing hard. I think Uncle Cletis chuckled.

A mile into our trip, I thought I was going to die. The only saving grace was the fact that the scenery was spectacular. Then we came to a place in the road that was blocked.

“Let’s just run this stretch on the beach,” Sean said all perky like. Honest to God, I don’t even think he was breathing hard. Not one to give up and be left behind I agreed with as much enthusiasm as I could muster and we headed onto the white sandy shore.

Running in and of itself is hard. Running when it’s 10,000 degrees out is harder. Running in 10,000 degrees on sand is torture. As we jogged next to the crystal blue waters and I stared at Sean’s legs, I realized that I’d bitten off way more than I could chew. But I would not give up. I told you – competition killed the cat.

The last half mile did not find me hitting any kind of stride. While the guys picked up the pace (just slightly…they were being nice to me), I huffed and puffed and no longer tried to pretend I was having fun. I’ll never forget the sight of that house as it came into view. I won’t foget it because there were angels flying above singing “Hallelujah” as white doves flitted in and out of the windows.

It was glorious.

And I didn’t run with the guys again that week.

I am two weeks into my new committment of running. I’m doing ten minutes miles now. I’m waiting for it to get easier so I can up my time a little. I didn’t have a lot of time to run last week due to kiddos having colds and being unable to go to the gym, but I’m back in it this week. I will up my distance to a mile and a half next week.

I still don’t like running. But, I have to say, I’d much rather be doing it on a Carribbean island, staring at my cousin’s legs than at the gym staring at the backside of the guy in front of me.

Just sayin’…

___________________________________________________________________

FYI – I wanted to make you all aware of a couple of things coming up. This Saturday I will be leading a Lunch and Learn session for the St. Louis Bloggers Guild on publishing for the Popular Market. The official title of the seminar is “So You Wrote a Novel – Now What?” It will be from 11:00-12:00 at the Stone Spiral Cafe in Mapelwood, Missouri.

Also, on Friday, Feburary 26, our church is hosting a Ladies Night Out from 6:30-10:00. There are 13 different breakout sessions to choose from, one of them being blogging, which I am leading. I will be discussing the ins and outs of blogging, some do’s and don’ts and how to monetize your blog. Beginners and advanced bloggers are all welcome. You can find out more information on how to register here.

Happy snow day to you all!

Filed Under: Exercise, Life, Running Tagged With: The Minivan Mom Runs

The Birthday Party

February 8, 2010 by Kelli

We had The Birthday Party this weekend. The Birthday Party that required a lot and very little all at once. Because I just didn’t have it in my to host a party this year, we booked a gymnastics party for the 4 year old. It was well worth the money, in my oh so humble opinion.

Of course, there was a little preparation that went into the party. Namely, making the cake. In general, I like to buy the cake because, well, I’m not that good at making cakes. Actually, that’s not true. I can make a cake fine – I can’t decorate a cake. Usually, when I try and decorate cakes it looks as if I did so while blind folded, while fighting off a rabid monkey. I’ll wait for a moment while you get that visual in your mind…

Got it? I know…it’s bad.

But I was determined this time to accomplish the task of making the perfect cake. And because I don’t know when to take a step back and tone it down, I decided to attempt this cake – the beloved Rainbow Cake from MckMama’s blog.

As expected, the making of the seperate cakes was a piece of…well, cake. Ahem. And, as expected, the decorating of said cake made me long for a stiff drink and a Prozac. And Tia wanted purple icing to boot, so after several tubs of icing were sufficiently colored, I set to assembling the monstrosity cake.

It wasn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. But it was pretty cute with the purple icing and the hot pink swirls at the bottom. And, of course, when we cut into it and we saw the rainbow layers, I got ooh’s and aah’s from kid’s and mom’s alike.

But there was more to the party than just the cake! Of course, my camera batteries ran out seconds after the party began so I didn’t get a lot of the actual party (Lee ran out to buy more before the cake and presents). But I did get a few and rather than tell you about the party, I’ll let you look and see for yourself.

After all, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, right?

: Gearing up for assembly.

: The completed cake. Not bad, eh?

: The parachute was a big hit. Every picture I have of Tia, her mouth is wide open.

: If only they looked alike…

: I’m not sure what the expression is, but I love this picture

: Landon was thrilled that he actually got to participate. I’ll probably regret it now, though, every time I take him to watch Tia’s gymnastics class.