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Don’t Worry Be Happy

February 24, 2014 by

waterlogued

The life of a grown up is not nearly as romantic and fun as I dreamed it would be when I was younger. I didn’t understand the responsibility that came with being an adult. I didn’t know that endless laundry, a constantly messy house, bills, fatigue, arguing children, and everything else that happens day in and day out would be such a drag.

I tend to get bogged down in it all from time to time.

I’m annoyed with my dirty house. It was clean two hours ago.

I’m annoyed with the laundry. It’s never done.

I’m annoyed with the bills. They never stop showing up.

I’m annoyed with the responsibility. It’s unending.

I’m annoyed with the arguing. Why are you fighting about an invisible piece of pie?!

On and on the list goes until I feel like the Grinch, my heart two sizes too small, and my patience stretched thin.

On Saturday we were preparing to host a dinner, and as I cleaned the house again, I felt an actual scowl forming. Blah, blah, blah. Grumble, grumble, grumble. As I set the table, Tia and Landon came racing through the kitchen squealing and laughing hysterically at who knows what.

“Slow down,” I called after them. They didn’t hear the sound of my advice over all their joy and laughter. The nerve. 

A few minutes later, they came racing through again, high pitched squeals and delighted laughter cutting into my grumbly heart. “Guys!” I called, a bit exasperated. “Slow down, please. You’re going to get hurt.”

“We can’t help it, Mom!” Landon called. “WE’RE JUST SO HAPPY!”

And off they ran, still laughing, still squealing, still slicing through my grown up bam humbugity. And just like that, my heart swelled, and I remembered that life is fun if you let it be fun.

Thank God for kids to remind me.

Happy Monday, friends. I pray that it’s JUST SO HAPPY!

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Life, Motherhood Tagged With: , , , ,

The Greatest Version of The Star Spangled Banner You’ll Ever Hear

July 16, 2013 by

Galaxies.

Prince Charming.

It’s all in there, folks.

You’ve never heard The Star Spangled Banner sung quite like this.

Enjoy.

 

 

Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon Tagged With: , , ,

On raising intellectuals

August 28, 2012 by

“Bonhoeffer was a remarkably independent thinker, especially for one so young. Some professors regarded him as arrogant, especially because he refused to come too directly under the influence of one of them, always preffering to maintain his distance. But someone who grew up dining with Karl Bonhoeffer, and who was allowed to speak only when he could justify every syllable, had probably developed a certain intellectual confidence and may be somewhat excused if he was not intimidated by other great minds.” Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy (page 62). Written by Eric Metaxas

“…Then his mother weighed in, suggesting that perhaps he should study under Holl, the Luther expert, and write his dissertation on dogmatics after Seeberg was out of the picture. As the daughter of a respected theologian and the granddaughter of a world-famous one, she likely had more to say on this subject than any mother in Germany. The intellect of both Bonhoeffer parents and their interest in their son’s academic progress are remarkable, and we can hardly wonder at his closeness to them.” Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy (page 63).

Actual conversations heard in my house:

Sloan to Lee: “Hey Dad.” Pulls off his shirt and flexes his muscles. “How do you pop your pecs?”

Lee: “Well, son. Pec popping is a pretty well defined science. It’s really not to be attempted without intense training and a lot of dedicated practice.

Tia: “Can I feel your pecs while you pop them, Dad?”

Lee: “No. Because that’s weird.”

**************************

“Hey, Mom, look at this,” said the child who shall remain unnamed. “Look how far I can put this finger up my nose.” Shoves pointer finger up nose.

Me: “Hmmm…not bad, and that’s not even your biggest finger…now please don’t do that at the dinner table.”

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We are just like the Bonhoeffers…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Lee Tagged With: , , ,

Re-Post: How to Go from Reverent to Irreverent Without Even Really Trying

March 12, 2012 by

My daughter woke me up before 5:00 this morning. Rather than go back to sleep I decided to get up and do some writing. I will probably regret this decision around 2:00 today but for now I plan to get slightly lost in my characters. Here’s an old post for a bit of fun. This moment still makes me laugh.  This was originally posted in November of 2010. Happy Monday!

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If ever you ask my seven year old to pray before a meal, I suggest you make sure you’re not starving. Because Sloan? He brings it when he prays. All I need is a tent and a white hanky and Glory, Hallelujah we’ve got a revival.

Landon and Tia, try as they might, have a very difficult time making it through one of Sloan’s prayers without sneaking a bite or four. Sloan has been known to pray up to five minutes or more. He thanks God for everything from his toys to the military. He prays for poor people and for everyone he can think of by name. He prays for his own attitude and, on any given day, could likely be heard praying that his sister’s attitude would change too.

Last night’s dinnertime prayer went something like this:

Dear Lord. You are the Creator. You created. Everything. God. You are our Lord. Thanks for being our Lord. And for being our Savior. Thank you for, um, the veterens (which he pronounces vechrins). Thank you that they protect us and keep us safe. Thank you for Mr. Nevil that he fought to protect our country. We are very glad for them. Thank you for the Army vechrins and the Navy and…um…the Air Force. And all of the people that serve. It’s just awesome that they do that for us. Give them glory, Lord.

We thank you for Jonri (our Compassion child), God. He is poor. But he’s not poor anymore because we can help him to not be poor. And thank you that he will get Christmas presents. We pray for all the poor people, God. We pray that they will have food. And toys.

Lord you are very great. God. Thank you for our family (lists everyone from grandparents to aunts and uncles and cousins). Thank you for all my friends (lists as many as he can think of by name). And, God. I pray that I would have a good attitude. Thank you that I had a good day today and was nice and happy. And thank you that Tia was nice to me today and we could have a little fun.

*It’s at this point that Lee and I are trying not to crack up as Landon, with his head down and his eyes squinted open begins grabbing food and putting it in his mouth, then clasping his hands together again while he prays and chews. My grandmother would have told him he was going to choke for sneaking food during prayer.

We just thank you for everything you give us, Lord. And it is in your Holy, Powerful Name we pray…In Jesus Name.

Amen

It’s not hard to understand why Jesus commanded us to let the little children come to him. There is no holding back in the sincere prayers of a child. I am always blessed by Sloan’s prayers, no matter how lengthy they may be.

As soon as Sloan finished his prayer, we all echoed the Amen and picked up our forks to eat. But wait! Tia wanted to pray. So we bowed again. Her prayers are generally short, sweet and to the point.

Dear Wowrd. Fank you dat we have a gweat famiwy. And fank you dat you dive us dis food. And…well…amen.

Amen!

Ah the reverence. I was momentarily tempted to pat myself on the back for raising such wonderful, thoughtful children.

Then…

Tia looked down at the pile of beef stew on her plate and wrinkled her nose.

“Is dis poop?!”

And thus, the reverence of the moment was totally gone. Sloan cracked up and Landon looked with great disdain at his plate. It took several minutes to convince him that I did not, indeed, prepare poop for dinner.

We started off grand, though, didn’t we?

Filed Under: blast from the past, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things Tagged With: , ,

Utah, A Bomb and a Slithering Sea Snake

September 5, 2011 by

The first week of school is tucked firmly beneath my belt.  This is fancy talk for, I survived. So did the kids, by the way.  Landon barely.  Apparently I neglected to mention to him when we began that school occurs every. single. day.  So on day two, as he toddled into the kitchen, his morning Cup ‘a Joe nestled firmly between his teeth (read: sippy cup of juice), he asked me the same thing he asks me every morning.

“Mommy?  What we gonna do today?”

“We have school again today.”

Shock.

Horror.

Face crumbles, juice falls to the floor and a great deal of weeping doth commence.  “But we alweady did school yestewday!”

Um…yeah.  Apparently school every day isn’t his favorite.  By day five he started to come around, though he never met the news that school was about to begin with much glee.  You can’t please everyone, right?

Not that school was a wash for him.  We worked on learning the States last week.  We labeled them on a map and each day learned to identify a few more.  By the end of the week, Sloan was able to point to and label 30 States.  Tia could label about 15 and then needed a few prompts for the rest.  Landon can point to about 6 when asked where they are.  But all on his own, he can label one State.

Utah.

For some reason Utah. Not Florida.  Not Missouri.  Utah.

Why?

There is no way for me to answer that question.  I don’t know why.  All I know is my three year old can point to Utah when shown a blank map.  I am so proud.

 

We are one with the fish

 

As a reward for a great first week of school, we finished lessons early on Friday and headed to the The Florida Aquarium in Tampa.  We got up close and personal with the sting rays, we growled at the sharks and we made silly faces at the alligators.  And we topped it all off with some good old fashioned water play.

 

Grrrr....

As an impromptu history lesson, we walked next door to the American Victory Ship, one of only four operational World War II ships in the country.  It was the end of the day and they were preparing to close, but they let us have the run of the ship before shutting everything down.  We rang the bells, visited the captain’s quarters and fought mighty battles against the enemy warships and alien droids.

We won each battle with nary an injury.  It was truly a victorious ship.

Just before leaving, one of the sailors aboard the ship took us into the Engine Room and gave us a quick history lesson.  The ship was built 70 years ago (not 60 hundred as Landon guessed…by hey – he can identify Utah, right?).  And the massive vessel was built in only 55 days.  Not 25 years as Sloan guessed.  But hey…he can point to 30 States on a map, right?

“Can you take us out on a ride in this ship?” Sloan asked the Sailor-man.  I just wish my child wasn’t so shy, ya know?

“Well, no.  Not right now.  We’re dry docked right now.  There are a lot of things that need to be done to get a ship out to sea.”

“Oh,” Sloan said, not masking his disappointment at all.  This week’s homeschooling theme is “Tact and How To Use It.”

Seeing his crestfallen face, Sailor-man smiled.  “You know,” he said.  “Every once in awhile we do take this beautiful ship out for a spin on the water.  You have your mom find out when we’re going to do that again and make sure you all come out to take a ride with us, okay?”

Sloan grinned and clasped his hands together at his chest.  “Okay!” he cried, his eyes dancing.  “When we go out, can you shoot off a bomb? Please?” He did use lovely manners making his Mama brim with pride.

“Well,” Sailor-man said, his own eyes twinkling, “Now I’m afraid that’s frowned upon…”

Pause.  Silence.

“What do you mean?” Sloan asked.

And we all laughed.  Me with the “Oh I’m so embarrassed I will explain this to him later” Mom laugh, and Sailor-man with the “I used to be a little boy and I had a few little boys of my own so I totally understand what’s going on inside his head” laugh.  And off we went.

Sunday night brought beautiful, perfect Florida weather.  There was an ocean breeze perfect for fishing and we traipsed down to the dock at sunset where Sloan immediately snagged a beautiful, large blue crab.  After a bit of dancing and a whole lot of finagling, we got him in the bucket and gave him a pinfish to play with.  Lee pulled in a good sized catfish that we all ooed and aahed over until it came time to take him off the hook, then we all scattered and let Lee handle the honors alone.

We’re a brave bunch.

The night ended early, however, when Sloan’s line bent over and he struggled and fought and pulled up a…friggin’ snake. When we figured out that’s what was on his line, Tia sprouted wings and flew 50 feet in less than a second.  I danced and yelped while Lee held his arms straight out and yelled “STOP!  Do not pull that thing in.”  He grabbed the pole and shook it until the long (too long) sea monster finally fell off.  And with our hearts hammering in our throats, we packed it in and marched inside, cooking our crab for a little late night snack.

How was your holiday weekend?

 

Our bedtime snack, courtesy of Sloan.

Filed Under: Family, Florida, funny stuff that happens, Homeschool, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Motherhood, Sloan Tagged With: , , , , ,

Handstands in Heaven

April 26, 2011 by

Alternately titled: Car Ride of Random

We were heading home from Russian school, altogether as a family (in our smokin’ hot minivan that we now officially own, no less.  HAWT!).  It was raining.  Again.  We were tired and a little hungry since I failed in my mom duties and forgot to pack us dinners to go.  But we were together as a family and  that made everything a little bit better.

“Hey Mom,” Sloan piped up.  “Why do girls always pick on me and bully me?”

“Probably because they like you,” I replied.  I know the girls in question and I’m not entirely sure that’s why they’re picking on him.  I think they’re just ornery, but I felt compelled to give the standard issue Mom answer as clearly directed in Article 16, Section C of the Mom’s Bylaws for Dealing with Difficult Questions.

Lee turned around and grinned at Sloan.  “Told ya,” he said.  It’s the standard issue answer for Dad’s as well, apparently.

“But why do they like me?” he asked.

“Because you’re cute and you’re smart and funny.  Why wouldn’t they like you?” I answered.

“Hey Mom,” Tia yelled from the back seat.  It was raining hard, we had to yell.  “When I go to school and I wike some boys, I’m donna bully dem, okay?”

*This is the part where I desperately thumb through the Bylaws. There are no instructions.  No INSTRUCTIONS!*

“No, you shouldn’t pick on boys,” Lee answered quickly.

“Why?” Tia asked.  “You said dats what girls do when dey wike boys.”

DARN THOSE STANDARD ISSUE ANSWERS!

“Just don’t pick on boys.  Treat others the way you want to be treated.”

WAM!  The Golden Rule.  Works every time…

“Hey Mom,” Tia yells again.

“Yes.”

“Can we do handstands in heaven?”

Laughter ensues, but then I look in the rearview mirror and see a very serious face.  She wants an answer.

“Well, I don’t see why not,” I say.

“I think you’ll be able to do all the gymnastics you want in heaven,” Lee answered.

“Hey Mom, LOOK!” Landon screeches from his seat.

“What?!”

“I saw a kangaroo back dere by da road.”

“You saw a kangaroo?!”

“Yeah!  Turn around.  Mom, turn around,” he’s quite serious.

Lee looks back at him.  “Did you see a kangaroo back there buddy?”

“Yeah!” He cries.

“Was it a real kangaroo?” Sloan asks craning his neck.

“No.  It was pwetend.  It was a pwetend one, Dad.”

And then we were home.

Who says riding in the car is boring?

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Lee, Minivans, Motherhood, Russian, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: , ,

Because they’re funny, that’s why

April 4, 2011 by

I heard a comment recently from someone who claimed to love reading “Mommy blogs” but hated when bloggers went on and on about their kids.

Um…I don’t think you like reading “Mommy Blogs” then.  (Not a fan of the “Mommy Blog” term…couldja tell?)  That’s like me saying I like fish but don’t like when it tastes fishy.  Riiight.  Let’s just call a spade a spade.  I don’t like fish.  Unless it’s thickly breaded and double dipped in a vat of oil then served with a side of ketchup.

That’s my kind of fish.

When I first heard this statement I found myself a little self conscious.  I mean, I talk about my kids all the blasted time here.  What if I’m boring people?  Because let’s face it, I can say that I’m only blogging to keep a record of the cute and funny things they do until I’m blue in the face, but we all know I want you to like me.

And I want to remember the cute and funny things they do so I can look back ten years later and smile…and humiliate them.  It’s a scrapbook that yields sweet revenge.

I’m only half way kidding.

So here it is: I am a blogger who happens to be a mom.  Write what you know, correct?  Well right now, I know Mom-ing.  (I could have written I know Motherhood but turning “Mom” into a verb sounded like more fun.)  So I’m going to write about Mom-ing, and all the other stuff that interests me that doesn’t involve my kids.  Which isn’t a lot because I’m kind of in the trenches of this Mom thing.

So today I’m writing about my kids, because dang it my kids are funny.  Maybe they’re only funny to me and their grandparents, but I don’t care.  This post might seem a little fishy, but I’ll try and deep fry something for you another day, okay?  Just indulge me, if you could be so kind.  Tomorrow I’ll write about something more riveting…like my house.  You’re on the edge of your seat – I just know it!

Lee left yesterday for a two week training in New Jersey.  Before the kids and I headed off to church, he buckled everyone in and doled out last minutes hugs and kisses.  He and Sloan managed to squeeze in an early round of basketball before we left.  I’m sure the neighbors were thrilled.

As Lee leaned in to kiss Sloan, my tender hearted man-child teared up a bit.  Lee smiled and touseled his hair and Sloan grinned, shaking his head.

“I’m not crying,” he said, all macho-like.  “My eyes are just sweating.”

My eyes are sweating a bit as I type this.  Happens to the best of us…

Sloan continued.  “Hey Dad, will you get us a present when you go to New York?”

“Sure,” Lee said.  I think his eyes were a little sweaty too.  “What do you want me to get you?”

“A girlfriend,” Sloan replied without missing a beat.  Aaaaand it comes back around.  I guess he thought he’d see if his dad would indulge his apparent need for a girlfriend since I told him a couple of weeks ago that No, I would not get him a girlfriend for his eighth birthday.  After sharing this I launched into a very sweet, deep and meaningful conversation with him about how God has already picked out and planned a wife for him someday and he doesn’t need to worry about dating right now.

Clearly my words had an impact.

Not to be outdone, Tia piped up from the backseat as we headed down the road to church.  “Hey Mom?  How old do I have to be to get mawwied?”

“Old enough to be able to say your ‘R’s,” I replied…

No, I didn’t.  I actually told her it would be a long time and she didn’t need to start thinking about that now.

“Well, I fink I should be 29 when I get mawwied.  Will I be a mom before I get mawwied?”

“Nope,” I said.  “You gotta get married first to be a mom.”  Yes, I know that’s not necessarily true, but she’s five and we’re keeping it simple.  She doesn’t need an explanation on when and how one can or should become a mom.

Tia has actually popped out a couple of funny one-liner’s lately.  I forgot how funny five year old’s can be.  When we ate lunch one day in Florida, I handed Sloan a ham sandwich. 

“Does that have Man Eyes on it?” Tia asked.  She meant Mayonaise.  And just like that, our family now has a new catch word.  We will forever call Mayonaise “Man Eyes.”

And then there’s Landon – the family clown, the kid who’s always good for a laugh, the boy with expressive eyes and a personality that far outweighs his tiny little bird frame.  He walks through the house daily singing the songs from High School Musical 3.  He sings them completely wrong, but that’s what makes it so fun.  My favorite goes like this:

I don’t know where to go, Whatsa right fing.  I want my oh dwee so Battleforce Strange.

If you know what song I’m talking about, you know why that’s cute and funny.  It also means that you, like me, know way too much about High School Musical 3.

It’s those little conversations that make me laugh out loud that give me reason to blog about my kids.  Well, that and the humiliation thing.

I’m kidding…sort of.

Filed Under: Blogging, Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: , , , ,

Gems

January 25, 2011 by

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“Hey Mom,” he pipes up from the back seat of our (smokin’ hot) minivan.

“Yep?” I reply.

“How old do you think I have to be to be a rock star?”

“Uuuummm…I don’t know.  Maybe 25?”

His face falls.  “Oh.  I was hoping you would say 8.”

“Well, you can be a kid rock star if you want,” I say with a smile.

He thinks about it for a minute then responds, “Nah.  I think I’ll just be a Jedi Knight.”

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We were driving up to the Holy Land Target and as I circle to find a parking lot, Sloan adjusts his hat.  “I’m sensing that there will be girls in here that will want to look at me.  My sensors tell me they’re going to like me.” 

Oh good grief…

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A car drives by us one day and a teenager sits in the front seat talking on the phone.  She sees us and politely waves her hand.  As the car drives off Sloan says, “So. Hot.”

Whose kid is this anyway?!

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Glossary of terms:

ahmpit=armpit

wight=right

woody=really

yeth=yes

wike=like

fink=think

Landon walks in the room in a full out wail.  “Tia punched me,” he cries.  “Tia punched me in da ahmpit.”

Tia runs in with a look of defiance on her face.  “No I didn’t!” she says with a stomp of her foot.

“Yeth, she did,” Landon wails.

“No!  Wandon, I punched you in da chin.  Jeez.  Get it wight.”

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As Tia stomped around the house in a huff, I gently reminded her that 5 year olds don’t throw temper tantrums when they don’t get their way.

“Well…I’n not five yet.  I’n still four so I guess dat’s good so I can still frow a temper tantrum.”

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“Mommy?”

“Yes.”

“When I drow up, tan I be a boy?”

“Nope.  God made you a girl and you will always be a girl.”

“But I don’t wanna be a dirl.”  Insert foot stomp here.

“Why?”

“Because.  Boys det to do wots of fun stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Wike go potty standing up and eat fish and play baseball and be Jedi Knights.”

“Well, going potty standing up is not all that special and you can eat fish too, you just choose not to because you don’t like it.  You also play baseball with daddy and the boys and if you want to be a Jedi Knight, I’m sure you could figure out how to do that.  But think of all the special things about being a girl, like wearing dresses and fun tights and curling your hair…”

“Well, I would do dose fings if I was a boy, too…”

“No.  You wouldn’t.  Trust me on this one.”

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“Mom? Tan I wear shorts?”

Landon walks out of his room when he is supposed to be sleeping wearing nothing but socks.

“No, babe.  It’s 4 degrees out today.  You need to wear pants.”

“No!” His chin starts to tremble.  “I’n not going outside so pwease, wet me wear shorts.”

“Honey, I’m sorry, it’s just a little too cold.”

“Well…it’s not cold in Fworwida.”

“Okay, well when we live in Florida you can wear shorts in the winter but right now it’s too cold.”

A moment of silence.

“I tan wear shorts?”

I caved, he wore shorts the rest of the day.

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In the grocery store, we walk down the cereal aisle when all of the sudden Landon breaks out in a rousing rendition of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.”  When he’s finished, I smile and clap softly. 

“That was a good song.”

He sighs and grins.  “Yeah.  I’n woody dood at songs, wight?”

“Yep.  You’re pretty good.”

“Yeah.  I’n awesome.”

It appears he’s taking after his older brother.

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Last weekend was a particularly rough sleeping weekend for my I-dont-need-sleep-its-for-the-birds third born.  Of course.  Because daddy was out of town.  At 2:30 one night after he had been up and down since 11:00, he walked in my room for the 15th time.  I had yet to sleep and I was reaching the point of melt down.

I shot up and broke the silence of the night.  “Landon, get your bottom back in your bed.”

He screamed and propelled himself into my bed where he huddled under the blankets for a minute.  I felt bad and, strangely, satisfied…

“I’m sorry, buddy,” I whispered.  “Mommy is really tired and I need you to go to sleep so I can sleep.”

A brief pause.  “Mommy, I wove you and fink your beautiful.”

He finally went to sleep next to me in bed.

Stinker.

Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Motherhood, Random, Sloan, Tia Tagged With:

How to go from reverent to irreverent without even really trying…

November 18, 2010 by

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If ever you ask my seven year old to pray before a meal, I suggest you make sure you’re not starving.  Because Sloan?  He brings it when he prays.  All I need is a tent and a white hanky and Glory, Hallelujah we’ve got a revival.

Landon and Tia, try as they might, have a very difficult time making it through one of Sloan’s prayers without sneaking a bite or four.  Sloan has been known to pray up to five minutes or more.  He thanks God for everything from his toys to the military.  He prays for poor people and for everyone he can think of by name.  He prays for his own attitude and, on any given day, could likely be heard praying that his sister’s attitude would change too.

Last night’s dinnertime prayer went something like this:

Dear Lord.  You are the Creator.  You created.  Everything.  God.  You are our Lord.  Thanks for being our Lord.  And for being our Savior.  Thank you for, um, the veterens (which he pronounces vechrins).  Thank you that they protect us and keep us safe.  Thank you for Mr. Nevil that he fought to protect our country.  We are very glad for them.  Thank you for the Army vechrins and the Navy and…um…the Air Force.  And all of the people that serve.  It’s just awesome that they do that for us.  Give them glory, Lord. 

We thank you for Jonri (our Compassion child), God.  He is poor.  But he’s not poor anymore because we can help him to not be poor.  And thank you that he will get Christmas presents.  We pray for all the poor people, God.  We pray that they will have food.  And toys.

Lord you are very great.  God.  Thank you for our family (lists everyone from grandparents to aunts and uncles and cousins). Thank you for all my friends (lists as many as he can think of by name).   And, God.  I pray that I would have a good attitude.  Thank you that I had a good day today and was nice and happy.  And thank you that Tia was nice to me today and we could have a little fun.

*It’s at this point that Lee and I are trying not to crack up as Landon, with his head down and his eyes squinted open begins grabbing food and putting it in his mouth, then clasping his hands together again while he prays and chews.  My grandmother would have told him he was going to choke for sneaking food during prayer.

We just thank you for everything you give us, Lord.  And it is in your Holy, Powerful Name we pray…In Jesus Name.

Amen

It’s not hard to understand why Jesus commanded us to let the little children come to him.  There is no holding back in the sincere prayers of a child.  I am always blessed by Sloan’s prayers, no matter how lengthy they may be. 

As soon as Sloan finished his prayer, we all echoed the Amen and picked up our forks to eat.  But wait!  Tia wanted to pray.  So we bowed again.  Her prayers are generally short, sweet and to the point.

Dear Wowrd.  Fank you dat we have a gweat famiwy.  And fank you dat you dive us dis food.  And…well…amen.

Amen!

Ah the reverence.  I was momentarily tempted to pat myself on the back for raising such wonderful, thoughtful children. 

Then I was humbled.

After the beautiful prayers, the meal took a slight downhill turn.  We picked up our forks again and Lee thanked the kids for being willing to pray.  Half of Landon’s plate was, of course, clean.  Everything was gone  except his meat…naturally.  I made beef stew.  It was delicious but I will admit…it didn’t look appealing.  Tia put it a…different way.

She looked down at the pile of meat on her plate and wrinkled her nose.

“Is dis poop?!”

And thus, the reverence of the moment was totally gone.  Sloan cracked up and Landon looked with great disdain at his plate.  It took several minutes to convince him that I did not, indeed, prepare poop for dinner.

We started off grand, though, didn’t we?

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: , , ,

Kids Say the Darndest Things – A New Edition

November 5, 2010 by

It’s high time I recorded another installment of Kids Say the Darndest Things because my kids have ripped out some doozies lately.  Parenting is seriously entertaining…you know, when it’s not stressful.

Me: “Hey Sloan, can I throw away this ribbon?”  I hold up his Dare to Stay Off Drugs ribbon from the D.A.R.E. program at school.

“No!” He exclaimed.

“Why?” I asked.  “What are yo ugoing to do with it?”

“I’m going to save it and set it out in case Daddy decides to do drugs.”

At which point I almost fell over laughing.

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For over a year Tia has been telling us how excited she is to turn five so she can climb the rock wall at the gym.  A few weeks ago she had this conversation with my mom.

Mom: “Tia, you’re going to be five soon.”

Tia (grinning): “Yep.  I’m donna be five.”

Mom: “And what happens when you turn five?” Obviously prompting her to say she gets to climb the rock wall.

Tia:  Pauses and thinks…”I get heavier?”

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Eating breakfast a few weeks ago, Landon started freaking out as only a nearly three year old can.

“I not wanna sit by dat door!” he cried, pointing at the back door.

“Why not?”

“It’s thcawy (scary)!”

“Why is it scary,” I asked.

“Betause.  A monthster come frew dat door.”

I laughed and moved him and thought nothing else of it, until…

I picked him up out of his crib at the crack of dawn a few days later as he cried.

“What’s wrong?”

“I thscared of dat door,” he cried, pointing at his half open closet door.

“Why?”

“A monthster in dere.”

“Honey, there aren’t any  monsters,” I siad hugging him tight.

“Yeth!  Wike in Monthster’s Inc.”

Note to self…help him find a new favorite movie and tuck Monster’s Inc. away for a long, long time.

I love my kids. 

Happy Weekend everyone!

Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things Tagged With:
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