Processing it all

December 26, 2013 by Kelli

She opens the gift and a light turns on inside her eyes. It’s art supplies and new cross stitch patterns. We know what she likes because we’ve watched and observed. We’ve taken the time to get to know her – not just her needs, but also her wants.

For a child who’s spent most of her formative years in a children’s home, this is more than unique. Someone took time to know her, not just about her, but really know her. Isn’t that what we all want at the very core of our being?

Don’t we all want to be known?

Our internet has been down all week, which has actually been a good thing. There are so many emotions to process right now, and I’m not sure processing them out loud, online, is the best choice. This experience hasn’t been anything like what we thought it would be. We haven’t run into any of the issues that we were told we might face.

Grace abounds in the form of a 17 year old girl with a smile to light up a room. She’s well adjusted, kind, thoughtful and sweet. She asks for little and is so grateful for everything. She tells her story matter of factly, but not in a way that’s robotic. In a word – she is content.

We’re learning so much from this sweet girl. Yes, there are some behaviors that give evidence of the hardships of the past, but those behaviors are slowly fading as she experiences the gift of unconditional love each and every day. Slowly she becomes more comfortable, the walls lower, and we see a natural inner beauty emerging, and I cannot help but be affected.

There are stories to tell and emotions to process, but for now I’ll just share a few photos. It’s the best I can do today. Thank you all for praying for us, and for blessing us with encouraging words, and with gifts for “K.” People have told us we’re amazing for doing this, and while I appreciate the sentiment, the truth is – I don’t feel amazing.

I feel scared.

I feel blessed.

I feel honored to have been led down this path.

I feel overwhelmed.

I feel like I don’t really understand God the way I thought I understood God. Because I’ve never been an orphan in the physical sense of the word, it’s so hard for me to fully grasp my adoption as a daughter of God. These kids who grow up without the comfort of parental love possess a strength far beyond that which I can understand. I’m praying that we are able to send her home with so much more than simple material blessings.

Undoubtably, she’ll leave us with much more than any of us anticipated.

Filed Under: faith, Family, Grace Tagged With: Christmas, faith, Family, giving, Grace, orphan hosting

Kick off the season of giving by…giving!

November 11, 2013 by Kelli

One of the traditions that we’ve started with our kids, which has fast become our favorite tradition, is our annual Christmas party. Every time we do this, we get more and more excited about it, and I feel less and less intimidated.

The party is more than a simple gathering of neighbors, family and friends, though that is a lovely benefit. This is a chance to unite with the people around us in a way that makes an impact. While needs and hardships are a reality every day of the year, they are often magnified during the holidays. A child in the hospital is always traumatic, but especially so at Christmas when you long for nothing more than the comfort of sitting at home.

So what better way to bless a family in need than to bring Christmas to them?

I love throwing this Christmas party. It’s so fun to watch the kids get it. Children get a bad rap for being selfish, demanding and bratty at Christmas, but I can guarantee that if you give a child a chance to give to others, they will surprise you every single time.

For the past four years, Lee and I have used our Christmas party as a toy drive. Guests bring new, unwrapped toys to the party, which we then take and deliver to The Ronald McDonald House. These gifts are given to families who experience lengthy, expensive stays in the hospital with their children. It’s hard to describe the delight we see in our children, and our guests, as they place their gifts on the growing pile.

They love to know they’re making a difference.

This year, we’ve decided to up the ante on our annual Christmas party. We want to show our children that we can make a difference in the world, and we can having fun doing so!

We will not only be accepting gifts for the local Ronald McDonald House, but we’re also asking guests to bring an old pair of jeans, and a pair of scissors. Working alongside Sole Hope, we will be making shoes for children in Uganda out of our old, outgrown pairs of jeans.

I learned about Sole Hope a few weeks ago at Allume, and I was blown away by the simplicity of this organization. Following a simple pattern, you cut out your old jeans and mail the cut pieces back to the organization. They then send the patterns to Uganda where they have trained workers who use the rubber from old tires to turn the jeans into shoes.

Brilliant and so, so easy!

So not only will our little band of neighbors and friends be impacting our own city, we also have the privilege of blessing children half a world away. Changing the world isn’t nearly as difficult as it seems, and the earlier we can show that to our kids, the better they will understand that making a difference is as easy as having a party in the back yard.

What are ways that you celebrate giving during the holidays?

Filed Under: Christmas, faith, Family, Holidays, Kids, Life, Ministry Tagged With: Christmas, Do Good, giving, Sole Hope, The Ronald McDonald House

The Poor Among Us

September 23, 2013 by Kelli

Photo by Keely Scott

I’m not really sure how to start this post. I want to write something poetic and pure – something that will tug at your heart strings and make your pulse quicken just a bit. I want to paint an image for you that will stir your soul. I’d love to give you a word picture that will cause the hair on the back of your neck to stand on end.

I want my words to hold just enough weight that you cannot help but jump into action.

I’m simply not that good.

“Poverty is not necessarily an issue to solve; it is an opportunity to serve. As we go through each day, our heart’s cry should be, Lord, where would you have me give, serve, and invest myself to bring hope to the poor?” Johnny Carr, Orphan Justice

I read the book Orphan Justice: How to Care for Orphans Beyond Adopting in March, which to be quite honest was a terrible time to read that book. I was fighting depression and I sobbed like a tiny child through most of the book. It’s a wonderful book, though. I promise it is! I plan on reading it again now that I’m more emotionally stable.

Poverty is a wicked beast. It’s convoluted and tricky and there are no easy solutions to the problem of poverty. In Mark 14:7, Jesus Himself said that the poor would always be among us. As long as this world continues to rotate in its current state, poverty will be an issue among the people. So what do we do with that? If the poor will always be among us, then why even try to solve it?

First, the fight to end extreme poverty is not entirely out of reach. In fact, great strides are being met every single year. Extreme poverty is defined by the U.N. as living on less than $1.25/day. 30 years ago, 52% of the world’s population lived in extreme poverty. Today that number is estimated at only 26%. So while the poor will always be among us, the extreme poor have much to hope for.

A year and a half ago, I walked among the extreme poor. I held their hands, clapped to their songs and learned that valuable lesson that Hope is Slow. I look back at the photos and remember those days and sometimes feel so desperately trapped inside my own comforts. I want to do more. I want to help. I want my life to be so much more than plush couches, clean clothes and an overflowing pantry.

It’s a desperate thing to feel trapped.

But the chains are loosed when I remember that today, right now, I have the ability to help two. We have added a second sponsored child to our family. A little girl named Lydy from the Philippines. A few weeks ago, we received our first letter, but the letter wasn’t from Lydy. It was from her father, and his words moved both Lee and I to tears:

“We hope and pray that the Lord will continue to prosper your family as you render your good works and reach out to people for Christ…Thank you so much and may God bless you richly!”

Image by Keely Scott

I know I’ve already asked you to consider giving of your resources to another ministry recently. I’m asking you again, today, to consider giving. Perhaps you would like to help fund a new minivan for Mercy House Kenya. Wonderful! No gift is too small. Ten Dollars gets them one step closer to purchasing a vehicle that will allow them to transfer the girls and babies back and for to the doctor, to church, to every day errands. What a gift it would be!

Perhaps you’re ready for a longer commitment and you’d like to sponsor a child through Compassion International. I can speak without faltering when I say that the funds you give in child sponsorship are changing lives. They are building communities, ending hunger, helping eradicate extreme poverty.

Perhaps you already sponsor and would like to do a little more. Please read this post that I wrote in Tanzania about the many different ways you can be involved in Compassion International.

“Poverty is not necessarily an issue to solve; it’s an opportunity to serve.”

What a gift it is to join with a community of givers and serve. Thanks for being a part of this with me.

Filed Under: Blogging, Compassion International, faith, Grace, Ministry Tagged With: compassion international, Eradicating extreme poverty, giving, Mercy House Kenya, poverty

A Bridge Between Here and There

April 3, 2013 by Kelli

Image by Keely Scott. Compassion Bloggers Tanzania, 2012

Shaun Groves wrote a post the other day that’s been rolling and spinning in my head as I’ve digested the information he shared. He gave a rather concise breakdown of how and, perhaps, why women give more generously than men and asked a simple question at the end of the post.

How do we change this?

Both Shaun’s post (which you should read) and the comments offered a lot of insight into reasons why men may be less inclined to give generously than women, particularly to charitable causes. From the actual emotional responses that women experience when viewing photos and story to the pressure men feel as the providers of their own homes, it is not necessarily surprising that men are less inclined to jump at child sponsorship after hearing a simple presentation.

Men are pragmatic and practical where women are emotional and intuitive. These two differing responses to emotion will, naturally, lead to different outcomes in giving. Men want to know the bottom line. Where is my money going and how is it going to be used practically? Women just need to see the big eyes and round cheeks of a child and we’re ready to sign the check.

But there was one piece of this puzzle that left me feeling a like perhaps there is a bridge to be built between the pragmatism of men and the emotionalism of women. And my female friends? I really think the bridge rests on our shoulders.

Shaun writes: “According to a Pew Research study from 2008, in 43% of heterosexual couples polled the woman was the primary decision maker in four areas: what to watch on television, weekend plans, buying things for the home, managing finances. (31% of couples “evenly divide” decisions.)

…So it’s possible that a man being asked to commit $38/month to sponsor a child is unsure he has the authority to make such a commitment alone. “I need to talk to my wife first.'”

The first time I read this I had to stop and pause for a moment. And the more I thought, I wondered if perhaps this could be the very key to unlocking our men’s freedom to give more generously.

What if we let them do it? What if we as wives gave our husbands full reign and leadership over these important and necessary decisions of how, when and where to give of our time and resources?

I can hear the arguments and I see some of you cringing. “She’s gonna use the ‘S’ word, isn’t she?”

Ahem. Maaaayyyybeeee…

Submission is hard. It’s really, really hard. But, here’s the kicker, it actually produces a lot more freedom than most of us are willing to admit.

Now before you throw the typical arguments my way, let me say this – when I speak of submission, I am in no way condoning abusive or dangerous situations. If you or your children are being abused, then my advice is to get away and do it quickly. So know that the submission I am speaking of is one that applies to a healthy relationship between husband and wife that is built on mutual respect, love and communication.

Submission is often portrayed as weakness, as bowing down and being trampled on by the big, bad men. But I don’t believe that is what submission was meant to be at all.

Submission is actually powerful. It gives us the opportunity to build our men up, support them and give them the confidence to make the right decisions. I wondered when reading the above statement if, perhaps, we as wives could do a better job of building our husbands up in the area of leadership, finances and decision making within the household. What would the outcome be if we communicated to them our belief in their ability to make wise decisions? What would happen if men felt they did have the authority to make important decisions for their families?

Image by Keely Scott, Compassion Bloggers Tanzania, 2012

How might it affect a man’s desire to give generously if he believed his wife saw him as a generous giver?

Remember, ladies, how exciting it was for your man to pursue you when you first began dating? The outcome of the dating situation rested on his ability to properly woo you. Men thrive on that challenge. If we remove the challenge of leadership after saying “I Do,” we have full potential to leave men paralyzed in the areas of decision making.

Simply handing over the reigns of leadership in finances and decision making alone will, of course, not turn men into automatic generous givers. It doesn’t even mean that all men will automatically make wise decisions regarding finances. But perhaps it would build a bit of a bridge between desire and action when they are presented an opportunity to give.

At any rate, it will remove one more excuse for not giving.

So what are your thoughts? Ladies, do you see the potential impact you could have on your husband by giving him the reigns of decision making? And men, what do you think? What do you need from us as women to help support you in becoming men who give generously and lead confidently?

Image credits

This is another article that was presented in the comments of Shaun’s post. I thought it was a great read for me as a wife and a woman who desires to see her husband reach his full potential as the head of our home.

Filed Under: faith, Family, Marriage Tagged With: compassion international, giving, Marriage, Men and Giving

.41¢

August 6, 2012 by Kelli

I took the boys with me, a Mama and son date. Tia spent the weekend having her girly tank filled with her cousins. They did hair and played dolls and giggled and laughed. And so it was that I was alone with the boys for three days and errands were an unwanted necessity.

The kid’s school requires uniforms so I’ve been on a quest for the cheapest shirts possible however, the color shirt they’re required to wear is not very common, which lead us to the uniform shop in a rougher part of town to pick up several shirts specific to their school.

We rolled to a stop after exiting the highway and Sloan saw him first. He was standing back from the road a bit, his thin slice of carboard offering a two word plea.

HELP PLEASE.

Had I been alone, shamefully, I would have ignored him. I would have stared straight ahead so as not to make eye contact and avoid the awkward. I would have said no to the least of these.

But I wasn’t alone. I was in the car with a nine year old who is determined to change the world – a nine year old who just might do that someday if I don’t mess him up.

“Mom, give him some money! He needs help!” He said this as he rooted for loose change and reached for my purse. But I didn’t have any money. I never have cash on me. Cash means Starbucks to me so I rarely carry it to avoid the temptation.

“I don’t have money, babe,” I said, regret lacing my words.

“Yes you do,” he cried, holding up a handful of coins triumphantly. One quarter, one dime, one nickel and one penny. Every coin represented.

“Honey, that’s not really much money. It won’t help him. You can’t do anything with .41¢.”

“Well, he can save it, then, until he gets a little more,” Sloan replied and really, how could I say no? My child was asking me to do good. Like I said, here’s to hoping I don’t mess him up…

I rolled down the window and motioned the man near. He walked with a limp to the car window. “I’m sorry it’s not more,” I said, my face flushing a bit. Why was I embarrassed? Why do I still feel like I must do something big for it to hold any lasting impact? “It’s all we had and we wanted to help.”

The man took the four coins with dusty hands and his eyes filled with tears. “Ma’am,” he said as he separated the penny from the rest of the group and held it up in the sunlight. “If you had just given me this one penny, it would have been enough but you chose to give more. I can’t tell you what this means to me.”

I smiled and blinked back my own tears. The stoplight was soon to change, I knew this, so I turned quickly and pointed to my freckle-faced boy. “It was his big heart who wanted you to know that we see you and we love you and we will be praying for you.”

Sloan leaned forward so he could see out the window and the man looked at him deep. “You’re a good young man,” he said. “Listen to your Mama and stay in school, you hear me? And don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re not good enough, because you are.”

Sloan nodded and then spoke, his words filled with a grace beyond his years. “Thank you, sir,” he said. “I will be praying for you every day.”

The light turned green and we moved forward. The man stepped back from the road and as we made our left turn, I looked back to see his face buried in his hands, his shoulders heaving. In his clutched fist, he held tight to .41¢.

We pulled into the uniform store a few minutes later and Sloan looked at me with heavy eyes. “We should do more for him,” he said and I nodded. I felt it, too. “Like, can we buy him a house or something?” he asked. Just like his Mama, he thinks big.

I smiled and ruffled his thick hair. “We can’t buy him a house, but we could buy him a meal,” I said and he smiled. So that’s exactly what we did. After picking up shirts for the next school year, we swung through a local restaurant and ordered a meal and a bottle of water then rushed back around to the spot where we first met him.

He was gone.

Sloan’s face fell as he clutched the bag of fries and burgers. “Where did he go?” he asked, his face scanning left and right. “Oh I see him!” Landon screeched from the back seat, excited to be a part of this moment with his brother. Our friend sat under a bridge with another man. He was smoking and speaking animatedly.

“How are we going to get to him, Mom?” Sloan asked and just then the man stood up and started walking back toward our corner. We didn’t have long. I grabbed the food, jumped out of the car and waved at him, setting the food on the curb then rushing back to the car. He hurried over, his face registering shock.

“I was just telling my friend Peter about how much you blessed me and now this?” He looked genuinely surprised. The light turned green and I pulled forward. “God Bless you!” he called as we rounded the corner and he disappeared. A few minutes later, as we merged on the highway, Sloan spoke up again. “Will we see him again, Mom?” he asked.

“Probably not,” I said.

“Can I pray for him now?” Sloan asked and I nodded my head yes. And with eyes swimming, I drove us home while my nine year old demonstrated a faith that moves mountains. The faith of a child.

Did you know that .41¢ could change the world?

Yeah, I didn’t realize it either…

Filed Under: faith, Grace, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Ministry, Sloan Tagged With: Childlike Faith, faith, giving, Grace, Kids

Celebrating Christmas

December 19, 2010 by Kelli

For three or four years now I’ve determined that I would throw a Christmas party for the kids. I usually come up with the idea around December 24. Because I’m that awesome.

This year, I determined somewhere around August 25 that I would actually, indeed, for real, throw a Christmas party for the kids. I planned ahead…in my mind. In reality, I sent invitations out somewhere around December 12, a whole thirteen days before Christmas.

I am growing as an organizer. Try not to be jealous…

If I’m being honest (and I am) I would have to tell you that most of the invitations were sent via email. The rest were hand delivered. No stamps. I don’t believe in them.

So with all of my awesome forethought and planning, I wasn’t entirely sure we would have a large turnout. But, to my surprise, we did! And despite the fact that I’ve had a severe bronchial infection (most likely pneumonia – you know…no biggie) I managed to put together a decent enough gathering of children.

Read: M & M’s in a crystal bowl and cake. I mean nothing was handmade or anything. Let’s not get crazy, right?

I did print out the story of the Candy Cane and made a cake. With Betty Crocker’s help. It was the kids that made this party a delight. They played, they laughed, they ran and then? They sat and listened. And this is where the simplicity of the party was key. The totally planned simplicity…

They sat and listened as Papa Lee read of Christ’s birth from the book of Matthew. They raised their hands and answered questions about the manger, the Magi and the wise men. They discussed why we celebrate Christmas and how we can honor Jesus on His birthday.

Lee did a great job. He kept it short and sweet but packed in a beautiful lesson. I was proud of him, and of the kids who managed to sit still and quiet and intent the entire time.

Another reason I was proud? The kids went above and beyond in giving. We asked everyone to bring an unwrapped toy to be donated to charity and these families took that seriously. They purchased wonderful toys, which we will deliver this week. And as we talked of what Jesus did while He was living on this earth, we stressed to the kids how Jesus gave to others who were in need and how we can do the same.

The sweet hearted children that sat in my living room embraced giving and it brings tears to my eyes to think of their tender, moldable little hearts. What they gave will be used to bless others. And it took minimal effort on my part.

An email and a slice of cake. Who says we can’t change the world?

Filed Under: Christmas, Family, Holidays, Kids Tagged With: Christmas 2010, Christmas Party for Jesus, donating toys, giving, missions, Story of the Candy Cane

Compassion International: Christmas Giving

December 14, 2010 by Kelli

Last week, I attended a monthly Bible study led by Carol Prosser, the woman who runs my kids preschool and my second mom growing up. Her daughter, Lindsey and I were joined at the hip as teenagers so I spent as much time at Carol’s house as I did at my own. Lindsey and I had many adventures together (galavanting through Ukraine, crashing my car, crashing her car, pulling middle of the night pranks, all around acting spastic…) and she remains one of my dearest and sweetest friends.

Outside of my own mother and mother-in-law, I believe Carol has had the greatest impact on me as a young mom. In addition to pouring into my kids, she also pours into me (and all the other moms at the preschool). She offers encouragement and support and is a wealth of knowledge on how to raise and train children who love the Lord. I am truly grateful for her influence in my life.

At last week’s study, Carol encouraged us to find ways to serve others with our kids this holiday season. One nugget she placed in my heart was donating to a worthy cause with the kids. Several wonderful organization were listed as places where you could purchase a well for a needy family, or formula for hungry babies, or goats or chickens for families living in poverty. This got my wheels turning and I began to search for a way for us to donate as a family.

As I looked, I found myself wishing that Compassion International had a place where such donations could be made. Not that the other organization’s listed aren’t fantastic, but I have a heart for Compassion and what they are doing and wanted to be able to donate through them.

And lo and behold, one day later I received an email about Compassion’s Gift Guide offering people the chance to help release a child from poverty/sickness/despair in Jesus’ name. It was an immediate answer to an inner prayer and I was thrilled to jump on board.

We’re making this fun and a little bit unique. I don’t want to give all the details because it will spoil the surprise, but we will be purchasing a goat or two tonight. We’re going to let the kids choose exactly what they would like to purchase. I’ll post an update in a couple of weeks with all the fun details but I can tell you this – when we told the kids we were thinking about buying a goat for Christmas they were stoked. I believe Sloan’s exact words were “Oh my GOSH – that. is. rockin’.”

They were slightly disappointed when we told them the goat wasn’t for us.

But they loved the idea of helping out those who are in need. I’ve already told you about my sweet boy’s tender heart here and here. He truly has a heart for others and I love to see how it manifests itself in his giving. And I’m beginning to notice the seeds of compassion take root in Tia’s heart. In general she is less aware of others than her brother. I think it’s partly the nature of her personality, partly the result of being a second child and partly caused by being constantly overshadowed by her older brother.

But recently there has been a bit of tenderness that has seeped through her rough and tumble little heart. Sloan is so much like his dad – so willing to give, so conscious of others. Tia is more like me – she’s introspective and guarded and she has a tendency to guard her emotions. I love watching her process the plight and need of others. It’s very sweet to see the way she quietly lets all the information soak in. That is when it’s not floating in one ear and out the other, of course…

Gifts!

Giving is very easy to do. Simply click this link to send a gift to a family that needs your…well…compassion. There are several different gifts you can choose – from a mosquito net, which will protect a child from the spread of malaria, to a small business start up, to a water well and so on. Make it fun for everyone!

This is a new holiday tradition that we want to start with the kids each year. And I’m excited to see how it affects the way they view the holidays, especially as they grow older.

So what about you? What do you do during the holidays to make them fun and special and memorable?

Image credit

Filed Under: Christmas, Family, Holidays, Kids, Ministry Tagged With: Christmas giving, compassion international, Gifts of Compassion, giving, Holidays, Kids

All Hoity Toity…You Know Da Type?

May 1, 2009 by Kelli

The title comes from the movie, Newsies, spoken by the adorable Christian Bale as Jack Kelly. Just a little useless entertainment trivia for you – I’m full of that sort of information. Today, I am feelin’ all hoity toity.

I’m sitting in the cafe at Lifetime Fitness with my little HP Mini 1000 feeling like a rock star diva while sipping on a healthy smoothie. The internet is down at our house and so I came here to get away from the kids to get some work done. I really think I might cry when I have to send this computer back. It’s so fun! and, unfortunately, I did not win the laptop on the Momlogic contest, so all hope has flickered out – at least for the near future. *sigh*

Honestly, though, while I’m a little disappointed, I’m not all that upset. I have spent some time the last few days reading posts like this, and those stories do amazing things to one’s perspective.

Lee and I are very blessed. Blessed beyond measure, really. When I look back and see the way that God has provided for us in the past, in times when it didn’t seem that we were going to make it, I am humbled. Because even in those moments, we were surrounded by good things.

We have so much. We have our own health and the health of our children. We have amazing parents and siblings, such a godly network of family, that surround us with love and joy. We have a home and working cars and more food than we need (much more food than we need)! I mean, it’s just so much.

And it’s time to share. I grew up with parents who gave and gave and gave. My parents opened their home to anyone who needed it. They gave money where it was needed. They sacrificed time for the benefit of others. And I married a man who loves giving as much as they did.

Over the years, however, I am ashamed to admit that Lee and I got lost in our quest to make and earn and acquire and we forgot the simple joy of giving. This past year, we went through the Crown Financial Ministries class and were reminded, once again, of God’s desire for us and the way we use our finances.

So we began praying. And the Lord laid people on our hearts and we, grudgingly at first, gave. And it was a wonderful feeling. So we gave a little more. And it was even more fun. And we realized that giving really is more fun than receiving, as cliche as that may sound. And so, we’ve been impressed to give just a little more. And we’ve been praying about where we should give. And after reading the stories and seeing the photos from the Compassion bloggers, the Lord answered that prayer.

If you haven’t read any of the stories from the Compassion trip to India, I highly recommend it. It’s astounding the power that ministry is having all over the world. Lee and I are excited to sponsor our own child through Compassion. We’ve been praying about it for several months and we finally feel like the time is right.

And I am so very excited about it…

Filed Under: Family, Life, Marriage, Motherhood Tagged With: compassion international, crown financial, giving, humility