Minivans Are Hot

Childhood

June 1, 2011 By Kelli 11 Comments

I am going to post some pictures, but before I do, I feel compelled to offer this warning:

The photos you are about to view contain images of extreme cuteness. View with caution, particularly if you are sensitive to happiness, small children and unabashed joy. These images should not be viewed by the faint of heart or anyone with an aversion to the following items: babies, puppies, rainbows, sunshine or happiness as they will not be emotionally equipped to handle the cute. If you suffer from hard heartedness, view with caution and with full awareness that you may be forced to smile. Proceed carefully and it is advisable to let out a hearty “Aaaawww” while viewing to prevent your heart from exploding.

Phew. Now that I got that disclaimer out of the way, you’re free to look. Does anything scream childhood more than this? Tell me. Anything at all?

Aaaaaawwww…

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Landon, summer fun, Tia Tagged With: Kids, sprinklers, summer fun, things I love

Happy Birthday, Mom

May 17, 2011 By Kelli 11 Comments

So this video isn’t nearly as cool as I wanted it to be. But as we all learned yesterday, I’m not really that cool anyway, so this actually fits quite well.

Today is my awesome Mom’s birthday and she’s half way across the world. I so wanted to fly to England and surprise her for her birthday, but alas, it wasn’t to be. Instead I had the kids write down 60 reasons why they love their Byshka (short for Babyshka – Grandmother in Russian). And here they are, all 60 reasons.

Unfortunately you can’t understand a word Landon says due to his lisp and inability to say several letters but he’s painfully cute so it doesn’t matter.

(A small disclaimer: I promise I bathe my kids, although in this video they are visibly dirty. The bruise on Tia’s chin is the result of an unfortunate run in with a parked car as she sped down the hill on her bike. We’re still working on riding without training wheels. The mark on Landon’s nose is the result of me not clipping his nails soon enough. I have no idea what’s on Sloan’s face. Carry on…)

Mom, I love you and I hope you’re having a grand time in London today. We’re sending kisses from across the pond. I think we’ll even pick up a little birthday cake and eat it in your honor today. So thanks for having a birthday – it gives us an excuse to splurge on a cake. And cake is good.

Love you and see you in a few weeks!!!

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: Kids, Mom, video

Third Born

May 12, 2011 By Kelli 4 Comments

What is it about third borns that make them so…third bornish?

A free spirit, good for a laugh, the clown.

What is it about third borns that make them so irresistable?

So yummy, so kissable and sweet?

Full of spunk and maybe just a smattering more cute than the ones who proceeded them?

I read once that a mother always cherishes her last baby just a little more.

I don’t know if this child is our last baby. If you ask Lee and I both, you’ll get different answers.

I didn’t intend for Landon to be the last and I not so secretly hope he’s not.

But I have cherished the moments with him as if they were the last.

It’s not that I love him more, because I don’t.

I just love him differently.

Because he might be my last.

I love this kid differently, too.

Because he’s my firstborn.

The one who first made me a Mom.

I love this one differently, too.

Because she’s my girl. The splash of pink in a world of blue.

The sugar and spice to their frogs and snails.

I love them all the same. But different.

But there is something about the third born…

The one who might be the last (but might not)…

It’s hard to put my finger on what it is that makes third borns so much fun.

Fun.

That’s what it is about third borns.

They’re just fun.

Filed Under: Kids, Landon Tagged With: birth order, Kids, Photos, third born

On the wings of love

May 9, 2011 By Kelli 2 Comments

Before we get started, I’d like to give you a moment to let the cheesy ’80′s ballad wash over you. Go on, sing it out. You know you want to…

…

Feel better?’

Great.

There is no great way to transition from obscure ’80′s music to prayer, but I’m gonna give it a try. Consider yourselves transitioned.

Once upon a time I was an early riser. While the rest of my generation slept until noon, I could often be found at sunrise jogging through the streets of my neighborhood. This was pre-baby when I still enjoyed jogging and my body moved in a more coordinated rhythm to make it possible, of course.

In college, I spent many an early morning watching the sunrise as I crammed knowledge into my over-functioning brain. In early motherhood, when it was me and one tiny baby, I watched the sunrise as I whispered prayers into his ear. I prayed he would grow into a man of character, a man of grace, a man of stature and wisdom and knowledge. I prayed that he would be strong and courageous, filled with love and a desire to help those in need.

But something happened to me in the seven years since I three times became mom. I lost my sense of wonder at the morning. My bed grew warmer and more comfortable. My children pitter pattered their way through the house at such an hour that in order to beat them up I really needed to rise while it was still night, just so I could welcome the morning.

With this unfortunate phenomena, I also lost my ability to passionately cry out on their behalf. My prayers for them became kernels of popcorn, popped up here and there throughout the day and rarely scratched the surface of my true desires for them.

“Help him understand love.” “Give her the courage to fail.” “Show him who You are.”

Generic.

A series of issues has brought me to a place of longing once again. Longing for the morning. The smell of life rising. The glint of dew on green grass and the painted reds, oranges and yellows stretched across the sky. Of darkness fading into morning light. Of fatigue mixed together with anticipation, staving off the sleep that still lingers. Longing stillness enough to hear.

To hear the wind blow. To hear the birds sing. To hear the Voice, still and small, waiting on the wings of love for my heart’s cry.

(How’s that for blending the ’80′s with prayer, eh?)

And my prayers are rising once again. A new song, a new desire, a new longing. I lay them down and wait. Sometimes I fall asleep in the pool of desire and heartache that I’ve only just surrendered. Sometimes I wait and listen.

For Sloan I pray Hebrews 10:19-24. May he be free from the guilt that so often weighs him down and pulls him back, his tender heart torn over sin, yet wrestling with the flesh. I pray Galations 5:22-23 and 1 Peter 1:5-6: self-control to make the right choices. I pray for wisdom in mothering such a strong willed, lion hearted child. I offer praise for being chosen for a clearly difficult task.

For Katya I pray 2 Timothy 2:10, that her heart would be turned toward the Savior and she would desire to know Him. I pray Colossians 3:12, that she would be free from the apathy that her spirit seems bent toward and would be filled with compassion. I pray 1 Thesselonians 5:15, that she would find more joy in kindness than she does in torturing her brothers.

I pray that I would have the belief that that last prayer could possibly someday be answered…

For Landon I also pray 2 Timothy 2:10. I pray that even at a young age, he will know and understand how high and deep and wide and vast is the Father’s Love for him. I pray Ephesians 6:1. I pray that he will delight in obedience and that the mischief that brings that twinkle to his eye would be harnessed, but not snuffed out completely. Because the mischief makes him oh so fun.

I pray verses over my husband that are sacred and are between me and God.

I don’t always give in to the call of the morning. Though I desperately love it, sometimes the call of my bed is more tempting, more comfortable, easier and warmer. But as spring is bringing change and decision, I find myself with a bit more urgency to reaquaint with the earliest hours of the day. And to pour over my children in the quiet that comes so rarely. I don’t whisper it in their ears anymore, as I am no longer cradling them in the rocking chair. But I pray that as I release my pleas, they take off on the wings of love and settle within the hearts and spirits of the little ones I love so dearly.

When and how do you pray for your children?

Filed Under: faith, Kids, Landon, Life, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: '80's ballads, faith, Motherhood, prayer, praying for young children

Handstands in Heaven

April 26, 2011 By Kelli 5 Comments

Alternately titled: Car Ride of Random

We were heading home from Russian school, altogether as a family (in our smokin’ hot minivan that we now officially own, no less. HAWT!). It was raining. Again. We were tired and a little hungry since I failed in my mom duties and forgot to pack us dinners to go. But we were together as a family and that made everything a little bit better.

“Hey Mom,” Sloan piped up. “Why do girls always pick on me and bully me?”

“Probably because they like you,” I replied. I know the girls in question and I’m not entirely sure that’s why they’re picking on him. I think they’re just ornery, but I felt compelled to give the standard issue Mom answer as clearly directed in Article 16, Section C of the Mom’s Bylaws for Dealing with Difficult Questions.

Lee turned around and grinned at Sloan. “Told ya,” he said. It’s the standard issue answer for Dad’s as well, apparently.

“But why do they like me?” he asked.

“Because you’re cute and you’re smart and funny. Why wouldn’t they like you?” I answered.

“Hey Mom,” Tia yelled from the back seat. It was raining hard, we had to yell. “When I go to school and I wike some boys, I’m donna bully dem, okay?”

*This is the part where I desperately thumb through the Bylaws. There are no instructions. No INSTRUCTIONS!*

“No, you shouldn’t pick on boys,” Lee answered quickly.

“Why?” Tia asked. “You said dats what girls do when dey wike boys.”

DARN THOSE STANDARD ISSUE ANSWERS!

“Just don’t pick on boys. Treat others the way you want to be treated.”

WAM! The Golden Rule. Works every time…

“Hey Mom,” Tia yells again.

“Yes.”

“Can we do handstands in heaven?”

Laughter ensues, but then I look in the rearview mirror and see a very serious face. She wants an answer.

“Well, I don’t see why not,” I say.

“I think you’ll be able to do all the gymnastics you want in heaven,” Lee answered.

“Hey Mom, LOOK!” Landon screeches from his seat.

“What?!”

“I saw a kangaroo back dere by da road.”

“You saw a kangaroo?!”

“Yeah! Turn around. Mom, turn around,” he’s quite serious.

Lee looks back at him. “Did you see a kangaroo back there buddy?”

“Yeah!” He cries.

“Was it a real kangaroo?” Sloan asks craning his neck.

“No. It was pwetend. It was a pwetend one, Dad.”

And then we were home.

Who says riding in the car is boring?

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Lee, Minivans, Motherhood, Russian, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: driving in the minivan, kids say the darndest things, Life

Because they’re funny, that’s why

April 4, 2011 By Kelli 5 Comments

I heard a comment recently from someone who claimed to love reading “Mommy blogs” but hated when bloggers went on and on about their kids.

Um…I don’t think you like reading “Mommy Blogs” then. (Not a fan of the “Mommy Blog” term…couldja tell?) That’s like me saying I like fish but don’t like when it tastes fishy. Riiight. Let’s just call a spade a spade. I don’t like fish. Unless it’s thickly breaded and double dipped in a vat of oil then served with a side of ketchup.

That’s my kind of fish.

When I first heard this statement I found myself a little self conscious. I mean, I talk about my kids all the blasted time here. What if I’m boring people? Because let’s face it, I can say that I’m only blogging to keep a record of the cute and funny things they do until I’m blue in the face, but we all know I want you to like me.

And I want to remember the cute and funny things they do so I can look back ten years later and smile…and humiliate them. It’s a scrapbook that yields sweet revenge.

I’m only half way kidding.

So here it is: I am a blogger who happens to be a mom. Write what you know, correct? Well right now, I know Mom-ing. (I could have written I know Motherhood but turning “Mom” into a verb sounded like more fun.) So I’m going to write about Mom-ing, and all the other stuff that interests me that doesn’t involve my kids. Which isn’t a lot because I’m kind of in the trenches of this Mom thing.

So today I’m writing about my kids, because dang it my kids are funny. Maybe they’re only funny to me and their grandparents, but I don’t care. This post might seem a little fishy, but I’ll try and deep fry something for you another day, okay? Just indulge me, if you could be so kind. Tomorrow I’ll write about something more riveting…like my house. You’re on the edge of your seat – I just know it!

Lee left yesterday for a two week training in New Jersey. Before the kids and I headed off to church, he buckled everyone in and doled out last minutes hugs and kisses. He and Sloan managed to squeeze in an early round of basketball before we left. I’m sure the neighbors were thrilled.

As Lee leaned in to kiss Sloan, my tender hearted man-child teared up a bit. Lee smiled and touseled his hair and Sloan grinned, shaking his head.

“I’m not crying,” he said, all macho-like. “My eyes are just sweating.”

My eyes are sweating a bit as I type this. Happens to the best of us…

Sloan continued. “Hey Dad, will you get us a present when you go to New York?”

“Sure,” Lee said. I think his eyes were a little sweaty too. “What do you want me to get you?”

“A girlfriend,” Sloan replied without missing a beat. Aaaaand it comes back around. I guess he thought he’d see if his dad would indulge his apparent need for a girlfriend since I told him a couple of weeks ago that No, I would not get him a girlfriend for his eighth birthday. After sharing this I launched into a very sweet, deep and meaningful conversation with him about how God has already picked out and planned a wife for him someday and he doesn’t need to worry about dating right now.

Clearly my words had an impact.

Not to be outdone, Tia piped up from the backseat as we headed down the road to church. “Hey Mom? How old do I have to be to get mawwied?”

“Old enough to be able to say your ‘R’s,” I replied…

No, I didn’t. I actually told her it would be a long time and she didn’t need to start thinking about that now.

“Well, I fink I should be 29 when I get mawwied. Will I be a mom before I get mawwied?”

“Nope,” I said. “You gotta get married first to be a mom.” Yes, I know that’s not necessarily true, but she’s five and we’re keeping it simple. She doesn’t need an explanation on when and how one can or should become a mom.

Tia has actually popped out a couple of funny one-liner’s lately. I forgot how funny five year old’s can be. When we ate lunch one day in Florida, I handed Sloan a ham sandwich.

“Does that have Man Eyes on it?” Tia asked. She meant Mayonaise. And just like that, our family now has a new catch word. We will forever call Mayonaise “Man Eyes.”

And then there’s Landon – the family clown, the kid who’s always good for a laugh, the boy with expressive eyes and a personality that far outweighs his tiny little bird frame. He walks through the house daily singing the songs from High School Musical 3. He sings them completely wrong, but that’s what makes it so fun. My favorite goes like this:

I don’t know where to go, Whatsa right fing. I want my oh dwee so Battleforce Strange.

If you know what song I’m talking about, you know why that’s cute and funny. It also means that you, like me, know way too much about High School Musical 3.

It’s those little conversations that make me laugh out loud that give me reason to blog about my kids. Well, that and the humiliation thing.

I’m kidding…sort of.

Filed Under: Blogging, Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: Blogging, HSM3, Kids, kids say the darndest things, Motherhood

On Earaches and Mary

March 14, 2011 By Kelli 8 Comments

On Friday night Landon asked to go to bed. This was after he asked to take a nap on Friday afternoon and he slept for two hours.

Not normal.

At 11:00 Friday Landon woke up crying. He was at the tail end of a cold so a little medicine, a kiss and a cup of water and everyone settled once again. Until…

One O’clock rolled around and we heard the desperate pleas of our little one. And he never went back to sleep.

“My eeaaaw huwts,” he cried all night, clutching at his left ear. We rocked and sang and he’d slowly drift to sleep only to jolt awake again with a cry. Back and forth we went between his room and our own room, Lee and I alternating trying to sleep and holding our hurting boy. We debated heading to the ER but knew it was an ear infection and decided to wait it out until morning.

At 5:30 we put in High School Musical and I dozed on the couch. By 9:00 we were in the pediatrician’s office where it was declared he had a nasty inner ear infection with a painful looking bulge and by 10:30 we were home with a little boy who looked like this.

Not only did he look exhausted, he also look abused due to an unfortunate run in with the corner of the iPad the night before that left him with a shiner. He was pitiful and in pain most of Saturday but by Sunday morning had perked up considerably thanks to numbing drops, antibiotics and twleve hours of solid sleep. We were on the mend, and we were happy.

When his ear began dripping blood on Sunday morning we began fast and furiously treating what we think may have been a slight perforation in his ear drum with both antibiotic ear drops and oral antibiotics as we are flying a week from tomorrow and we need his ear healed. So far the pediatrician has cleared us to fly and is confident that he will be fine by the time we leave. This is a good thing because if she said he wouldn’t be I was already planning the car trip.

Sunday afternoon I went to a practice for an Easter drama that a few of us are putting on on Easter Sunday. It’s a beautiful piece of work and I found myself very emotional at one point when the character of Christ speaks the word, “Mother?” This happens during the crucifixion scene.

And my heart broke a little as I pictured Mary watching her baby suffer. My heart crumbled just seeing Landon suffer through ear pain, but Mary watched her son beaten, bruised and hung. She watched the blood drain from the very hands that she held as a small child. She saw the flesh torn from the back of the boy she bathed as a boy.

She suffered.

As my children grow I’m realizing more and more that I will always and forever see the infant form of them. Sloan is developing a man-child look about him and yet I still see the expressive toddler who marveled at the moon. Tia’s face matures a little more each day and yet I still see the big-eyed infant who couldn’t wait to conquer the world.

Landon is right where I want him right now. He is today who I will never forget.

Mary felt the same way. I understand that more and more the longer I parent. She saw the man who hung on the cross, but did her mind flash to him toddling into her arms? It most surely did. Did she remember sloppy kisses and delighted laughter? I’m sure of it. As she stared at his arms stretched wide across the beams, did her own arms ache with the memory of the weight of her infant? Did she smell the stench of the stable and see the dark, round eyes of her firstborn nuzzled against her chest?

What kind of memories flooded her mind’s eye?

And as he suffered and died slowly, did she experience pain herself? What was swirling through her heart? It pains me to even think about it, as it pained me to watch my toddler clutch at his ear in pain.

When they hurt, we hurt.

And then, when she heard He was alive – what did she feel? What kind if disbelief and shock and fear and joy coursed through her veins? When she saw His resurrected body, did she still see the little boy she raised or was He different somehow? Did He give her an extra long hug and a kiss on the cheek, a balm to the wound she had suffered three days before?

I wonder about these things.

Mary was a mother.

I am a mother.

And so I ponder.

Filed Under: Easter, faith, Family, Holidays, Kids, Landon, Motherhood Tagged With: Christ, Crucifixion, Easter, Mary, Resurrection, thoughts

Bieber Fever – Post Update

February 16, 2011 By Kelli 5 Comments

Justin Bieber’s got nothin’ on this kid.

I’m thinking it’s time for a trim. Not a cut, mind you, because I love his shaggy little locks. But his haircut is quickly morphing into a mullet and we can’t have that, now can we?

I’m trying to figure out how I can get someone to give him a real Bieber haircut while still maintaining my (and his) dignity in the process.

Suggestions, anyone?

We had it cut today and, with a bit of shame, I asked for a Justin Bieber haircut. It looks cute. It’s really difficult for something to not look cute on this child…

Filed Under: Kids, Landon Tagged With: Bieber fever, Bieber haircut, His mom's crazy, Justin Bieber

Don’t get me wrong…

February 3, 2011 By Kelli 5 Comments

I love my kids. I love to be with them and I love to laugh with them and play with them and spend time with them.

But…

These flippin’ snow days are MAKING ME BATTY.

*deep breath*

I think the children are going to start eating one another.

Sloan cleaned this morning. He vacuumed and dusted, pulling dressers out and cleaning the floors behind him. This is awesome, obviously, but it’s also evidence of the fact that we’re all going a little crazy. A seven year old voluntarily scrubbing his room? Not normal!

Did you know that the average four year old asks 437 questions a day? So if I have a chatty three year old, stubborn five year old and headstrong seven year old all trapped under the same roof, using a model of mathematics called estimation, I can safely assume that I’m being asked 1,500 questions/day. I’m also being told roughly 523 times that he/she kicked me, pushed me, hit me, licked me, bit me, touched me, breathed on me. I’m being asked 47 times a day for a snack or a drink (they still expect to be fed!) and every ten minutes I’m asked if we can watch a movie, play Wii or play computer games.

It’s tempting not to say yes and let them do that all day long. But alas, I’ve found that when my children sit in front of the TV all day they turn into jittery, weepy zombies without the will to reason.

On the other hand…my kids are pretty dang funny and, despite being trapped, we have had some fun this week. It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed it – it’s just that every day I enjoy it a little less. And so do they.

A few pictures of the happier times for your viewing enjoyment.

We’re not really sure who had a better birthday yesterday – Tia or Kit.

Seriously. Where did this kid come from? He’s yet to find a camera he didn’t love…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: birthdays, Kids, mama's going crazy, Midwest blizzard, snow days, snowed in

Gems

January 25, 2011 By Kelli 4 Comments

“Hey Mom,” he pipes up from the back seat of our (smokin’ hot) minivan.

“Yep?” I reply.

“How old do you think I have to be to be a rock star?”

“Uuuummm…I don’t know. Maybe 25?”

His face falls. “Oh. I was hoping you would say 8.”

“Well, you can be a kid rock star if you want,” I say with a smile.

He thinks about it for a minute then responds, “Nah. I think I’ll just be a Jedi Knight.”

______________________________________________

We were driving up to the Holy Land Target and as I circle to find a parking lot, Sloan adjusts his hat. “I’m sensing that there will be girls in here that will want to look at me. My sensors tell me they’re going to like me.”

Oh good grief…

_____________________________________________________

A car drives by us one day and a teenager sits in the front seat talking on the phone. She sees us and politely waves her hand. As the car drives off Sloan says, “So. Hot.”

Whose kid is this anyway?!

___________________________________________________________

Glossary of terms:

ahmpit=armpit

wight=right

woody=really

yeth=yes

wike=like

fink=think

Landon walks in the room in a full out wail. “Tia punched me,” he cries. “Tia punched me in da ahmpit.”

Tia runs in with a look of defiance on her face. “No I didn’t!” she says with a stomp of her foot.

“Yeth, she did,” Landon wails.

“No! Wandon, I punched you in da chin. Jeez. Get it wight.”

_____________________________________________________

As Tia stomped around the house in a huff, I gently reminded her that 5 year olds don’t throw temper tantrums when they don’t get their way.

“Well…I’n not five yet. I’n still four so I guess dat’s good so I can still frow a temper tantrum.”

_________________________________________________________

“Mommy?”

“Yes.”

“When I drow up, tan I be a boy?”

“Nope. God made you a girl and you will always be a girl.”

“But I don’t wanna be a dirl.” Insert foot stomp here.

“Why?”

“Because. Boys det to do wots of fun stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Wike go potty standing up and eat fish and play baseball and be Jedi Knights.”

“Well, going potty standing up is not all that special and you can eat fish too, you just choose not to because you don’t like it. You also play baseball with daddy and the boys and if you want to be a Jedi Knight, I’m sure you could figure out how to do that. But think of all the special things about being a girl, like wearing dresses and fun tights and curling your hair…”

“Well, I would do dose fings if I was a boy, too…”

“No. You wouldn’t. Trust me on this one.”

______________________________________________________

“Mom? Tan I wear shorts?”

Landon walks out of his room when he is supposed to be sleeping wearing nothing but socks.

“No, babe. It’s 4 degrees out today. You need to wear pants.”

“No!” His chin starts to tremble. “I’n not going outside so pwease, wet me wear shorts.”

“Honey, I’m sorry, it’s just a little too cold.”

“Well…it’s not cold in Fworwida.”

“Okay, well when we live in Florida you can wear shorts in the winter but right now it’s too cold.”

A moment of silence.

“I tan wear shorts?”

I caved, he wore shorts the rest of the day.

__________________________________________________

In the grocery store, we walk down the cereal aisle when all of the sudden Landon breaks out in a rousing rendition of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” When he’s finished, I smile and clap softly.

“That was a good song.”

He sighs and grins. “Yeah. I’n woody dood at songs, wight?”

“Yep. You’re pretty good.”

“Yeah. I’n awesome.”

It appears he’s taking after his older brother.

_______________________________________________________

Last weekend was a particularly rough sleeping weekend for my I-dont-need-sleep-its-for-the-birds third born. Of course. Because daddy was out of town. At 2:30 one night after he had been up and down since 11:00, he walked in my room for the 15th time. I had yet to sleep and I was reaching the point of melt down.

I shot up and broke the silence of the night. “Landon, get your bottom back in your bed.”

He screamed and propelled himself into my bed where he huddled under the blankets for a minute. I felt bad and, strangely, satisfied…

“I’m sorry, buddy,” I whispered. “Mommy is really tired and I need you to go to sleep so I can sleep.”

A brief pause. “Mommy, I wove you and fink your beautiful.”

He finally went to sleep next to me in bed.

Stinker.