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Escape

August 31, 2012 by

“Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress of vex her.” Jane Austen, Emma

I am stuck in a bit of a funk, friends.

Discouraged and frustrated, I find smiles a little forced and laughter a bit of a chore. I don’t know why this is. Today the sun is shining and the air is balmy with the salty scent of the ocean and I feel like crying for no reason.

I hesitate to share these feelings, afraid of sounding hollow and shallow and fishing for encouragement. I’m not overly prone to put myself out there like this because it makes me feel a little too exposed. But there is some relief that comes from admitting that life isn’t always a musical.

Or maybe it is and this is just one of those sad interludes where you want to get up and go to the bathroom and come back when everybody is happy and tap dancing in the sunshine again.

I don’t know why I’m down. Maybe I’m tired. Perhaps swirling hormones have knocked me off balance. Maybe I’m still getting used to the new schedule, still hoping and praying that sending the kids to school was the right choice. Maybe I’m overwhelmed, though I don’t feel a bit stressed. I just feel…down.

Life is full of blessings and there is so much joy to be had. We are healthy and blessed. I’m counting those blessings today and reminding myself to choose joy. While happiness in this thing called life is not a guarantee and cannot always be grasped, joy is a choice. I can wallow in my invisible frustrations, in the unknown things that leave me glum, or I can choose joy.

I can waffle in a puddle of self-doubt and waver under the banner of feeling like I’m always a step behind, or I can choose to look at all the joyful things that surround me right now, at this moment.

A steaming mug of green tea.

A building full of books all teaming with imagination and dreams.

Clean hair thanks to a hot shower this morning.

A computer that (mostly) works and allows me to connect and pour out my heart to the rhythm of a clicking keyboard.

A few moments of quiet in which to read my Bible and lose myself in Jane Austen’s fantastic world.

I bought three new Jane Austen books today…and a book on Albert Einstein. Random? Yes, I know, but I found the book too intriguing to pass up and upon reading the first few pages, I am so glad I bought it.

Fascinating.

I came to the bookstore with a plan to stock up on Jane Austen goodies. I’m going to admit something shameful right now. I have never read an entire Jane Austen novel. I started Mansfield Park in college and upon getting distracted (so many cute boys!), I put it down and never picked it up again.

I’ve seen the movies, but we all know those aren’t the same thing.

I’m going to lose myself this weekend and hope that the written word will pull me from my funk and give me a fresh confidence in my own ability to pen words worth reading. And above all else, I will choose joy this weekend.

May your holilday weekend be filled with family, friends, grace and joy, everyone. Happy Friday to you all.

PS: Which one should I read first? 

Filed Under: Blogging, books, Life Tagged With: , , ,

On playing the fool

August 30, 2012 by

“It’s better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you’re a fool than open it and remove all doubt.”

Mark Twain

 

I wonder what Mark Twain would think about social media. I would love to hear the zingers that he’d come up with regarding the many, many opportunities we all have now to play the fool. Perhaps he would change his quote to say, “It’s better to keep your fingers still and let people think you’re a fool than send out a Tweet and remove all doubt.”

With the influx of social media and the numerous sites that allow us to convey ideas, share thoughts, connect with one another and offer our vastly different opinions, I fear that we have opened ourselves up to looking the fool if we aren’t diligent and careful to manage our online footprint.

And as parents, we had better be ever vigilant in teaching our children how to navigate the waters of the online world. Social media isn’t going away and I don’t think it should. There is a lot of good coming from the online communities that have sprung up these last few years.

There’s also a lot of danger.

We are all prone to fits of frustration and angry backlash of the tongue. Some are, perhaps, more prone to issue a biting, angry barb than others, but none of us are immune. We have all inserted a foot in the mouth at some point in our lives and we’ve probably all had to apologize for foolish words spoken in the past. It’s the nature of being human – we can’t control our tongues.

But while a biting comment may ruin a relationship, if it’s been said in private there are steps one can take to restore that relationship, to apologize and to learn from the mistake in a private way.

A foolish tweet or Facebook post, however, will last forever.

 

This scares me for my children and it’s this reason alone that will keep them from opening a Facebook account or having a Twitter profile until Lee and I are sure that they have mastered enough control over emotions and words that they won’t blast off 140 characters that end up painting them fools for the rest of their lives.

And lest we think this issue of foolish tweeting is only a thing for youth, the fact is it isn’t. I’m astounded, particularly now as we are headed into a contentious political season, at the things grown ups are posting online. Foolish tweets. Ridiculous pictures and meme’s. Shameful Facebook posts.

So many words are being misused and the online world turns into a dreadful game of cat and mouse. This isn’t to say I don’t think people should share their opinions. Of course not. I am completely supportive of people writing about the things that they feel passionate about.

It’s the snarky, online bickering and arguing that I find tiresome and this is the very behavior that I will passionately teach my children. Don’t be the fool online. Think before your tweet. If you don’t have something nice to say, just say nothing at all.

Please.

 

I have one child in particular who is very susceptible to reacting in anger. Words are his weapon of choice and when he’s frustrated, he uses them in an attempt to ease the frustration. I understand this about him only because I struggle with the same thing. A single quick, harsh word only feels good for a split second.

It feels horrible for eternity afterward.

We are constantly working with him and teaching him how to control and tame his tongue. How to stop, to breathe, to think and to decide if the words he wants to say are really going to make the situation better or worse.

If he can learn to do this in his every day interactions, then I feel like we will be better preparing him to handle the interactions of the internet.

In the nearly five years that I’ve been blogging, I’ve learned that not every sentiment of my heart needs to be blogged. Not every disagreement needs to be resolved online. Sometimes people say things that I disagree with and I find myself getting hot and angry.

So I walk away from the computer.

I’d rather keep my mouth shut fingers still and be thought a fool than send out a tweet and remove all doubt.

If you have children, how are you preparing them and training them for the online world that stands in their future?

Filed Under: Blogging, Kids, Motherhood Tagged With: , , , , ,

Climbing the Mountain: Part 2

August 24, 2012 by

This week, I am beginning one of the first treks up the mountain as I kick start a few fundraising efforts. I have a first chunk of money set out before us to raise and I’d like to have it by mid-November. I have no idea if that is an unrealistic goal or not, but I’m setting it out there.

To be honest, I’m not overly comfortable talking about the funding on ye old blog, but I also know I can’t do this without a little help, so with that in mind, I have a few ideas up my sleeve to start traversing up this first peak in our journey to Russia. We would really love to have all the funds needed to complete all the paper work by early Spring so that we can get on a waiting list for a referral with the hope that we will be able to start our travels sometime late next summer or early fall. I’m willing to work for these funds, and we plan to work hard, but I’ll need some help spreading the word.

And I am entirely open to suggestions as well!

So without further ado, here are a few things I’ve set in place to kick off our fundraising.

Advertising

 

Do you have a small business or indie-biz that you would like to advertise? Are you selling products or in need of a boost in your site stats? I am opening up private ads for the first time and would love to chat with you about it. I’ve set very reasonable prices and there are a couple of different options that we can discuss in your advertising.

From buttons in the sidebar to sponsored posts, I am willing to discuss what your goals are for your business and work with you to increase your traffic through the solid network of readers that give me the honor of their time here at Minivan Are Hot. With that in mind, though, I have always tried hard to keep the content on this blog fresh and relevant to motherhood and parenting, so while I am open to increasing the sumbers of sponsored posts I write, I will also be working hard to make sure the content is new and engaging and real and honest and I promise not to talk only about the adoption!!! Contact me at kellistuart00 (at) hotmail (dot) com for more information.

Writing/Editing

 

Did you know that my actual job for the last ten years has been ghostwriting and editing books? I haven’t done too much this past year with the move, but I am ready to take on a couple of projects if you are in need of any writing/editing. Have you written an E-Book or a book for print and don’t know what to do with it next?

Email me. Seriously, I’ve practically made a career out of pitching book ideas to publishers and have learned quite a few tricks and tips along the way. Do you just need a fresh set of eyes to go over the manuscript and help polish it? I would love to help! The super nerd in me gets giddy over editing. Giddy, I tell you!

Do you have a website that is in need of some fresh content? Let’s talk and see if we can work out a way to help one another out! Whatever your writing/editing needs are, I would love to help out. Email me at kellistuart00 (at) hotmail (dot) com.

Adoption Bug

 

One of the organizations that works tirelessly to help families fund adoptions is Steven Curtis Chapman’s Show Hope. I frequent this site often for encouragement, wisdom and tips on how to take this journey well. In an effort to kick start our fundraising, Lee and I have set up an Adoption Bug store, which is a free service offered to adoptive families through the Show Hope foundation.

There are six styles of t-shirts that you can choose from, and I tried to select a variety of styles and colors, all of which I would wear myself (and will, since I plan on ordering some of them!) We receive anywhere from 35%-45% on each sale of the shirts that come directly from our page and that money will go straight to adoption costs. Would you consider purchasing a shirt today?

And if you wouldn’t mind, would you spread the word about this Adoption Bug site? You can simply post this link (http://www.adoptionbug.com/stuartfamily/) to your Facebook, Twitter or blog to send people directly to our page where they can purchase the shirts we have chosen to sell. I’ve also placed a widget in our side bar that you can click that will link you directly to our Adoption Bug site.

Thank you for your help, my friends. This means so much to us.

Garage Sale

 

I have big plans over Labor Day weekend. Huge plans, indeed. I plan to ransack my house for each and every thing we do not use on a frequent basis and begin setting up shop for a gigantic garage sale sometime in late September/early October.

I know, it sounds like SO MUCH FUN. Don’t be jealous…

If you have tips or tricks on how to throw the perfect fundraising garage sale, I am all ears. If you live in the Tampa Bay/Clearwater/anywhere in Florida area and have items you would like to donate, please shoot me an email and let’s try and set up a time to meet. I will happily drive to you to pick up any items you might have to donate.

I am intimidated by this idea, but I’ve heard of so many people having great success with large garage sales, so I plan to roll up my sleeves and give it the old college try. The kids, for their part, are super excited because I’ve told them they can sell lemonade and cookies during the garage sale. Party!

Suggestions Welcome

 

Our home study is in two weeks. Once that has been completed and submitted, we will have a little more freedom to pursue other options for fundraising. We are all ears when it comes to this piece of the adoption puzzle and we welcome any suggestions you might have. I know that so many of you have climbed this mountain ahead of us so if you have something that worked for you, please feel free to share and thanks in advance!

There are a lot of things to consider and a lot of options out there for adoptive families. I even thought about selling spray painted curtain rods in an effort to raise funds.

No I didn’t…

The biggest piece of this fundraising puzzle is pray, pray, pray!! I can’t tell you how many people have told us that somehow, when they needed the money for the next big payment, it was always there. We are trusting fully that our hard work, paired with the grace and provision of the Lord, is going to result in met goals and we look forward to rejoicing in that with you all!

And if I may be so bold to ask, would you all be willing to share this post with others? If I can spread the word a bit on what we’re trying to do and hoping to accomplish, I think I could have a little more success in accomplishing these goals. Thank you. Seriously, I know I say it a lot and I’ll be saying it more and more, but thank you. Thank you for helping us make this happen.

Happy weekend all! I pray you have great fun awaiting you!

Filed Under: Adoption, Blogging, faith, Family Tagged With: , , , ,

Ready, Break!

August 2, 2012 by

I like to call this Portrait of an iPad.

I am on technology overload this week and I’ve hit the burn out zone, which can only mean it’s time for a much needed break.

Sometimes the constant noise leaves me feeling emotional, unsure of myself and altogether irritable so I’m just going to take a few days off to collect my thoughts, get a little rest, clean that mystery stain on the couch and try to solve the issue of the ants in the bathroom.

WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?!?!

In the meantime, I’ve seen some really amazing posts online this week. I will leave you with the words of those who are wiser than I am and will hopefully come back next week a little more rested and a little less grouchy.

Shaun’s post on why bigger crowds are less compassionate rumbled through my head all week and gave me much pause for reflection.

He also launched the new and improved Compassion Bloggers site and it’s clap your hands awesome. You should check it out!

Becke’ strung together words in the most beautiful way yesterday nearly leaving me breathless. She is ridiculously talented.

Sophie made me laugh out loud (LOL? No…) with her exciting new heights of under-acheivement.

McKayla Maroney rocked her vault leaving me a little stumped as to how on Earth the judges could have given her any less than a perfect score. Perhaps they are robots, incapable of emotion? Her post vault reaction also made me wish I could bring her home with me and put her in my pocket just so I could pull her out and have her jump up and down and say “Yay,” every time I needed a little cheering up.

Angie Smith wrote about her table and managed to make me cry in the process.

The Olympic Swimming Team’s cover of Call Me Maybe makes me so very happy. It will make you happy, too. How cute is Missy Franklin?!

That’s it for me this week. I’m off to take the kids to the park, buy some school supplies, hopefully take a nap and spend a little time just being quiet today. You know, I remember a time when the internet wasn’t around, when there weren’t 52,000 TV stations to watch and when the only thing that tweeted were birds.

Because I’m that old.

Does anyone else ever feel like they’re on sensory overload? No? Just me?

Super…

Filed Under: Blogging, Compassion International, discipline, Life, Sports Tagged With: , , , , ,

And then it starts to feel real

April 25, 2012 by

I leave for Africa in 9 days. Single digits. I’m on a plane in just a little over a week. On a plane for a really, really long time. Really long time. (What does one do on a plane for eighteen hours?!)

And just today it started to feel real. Nine days is not very long and I began to really think about it and wonder and question the logistics.

I probably should have done that awhile ago, but I like to think life is more exciting when you have the added stress of NO TIME.

I got my second Hepatitix A & B booster shot yesterday. Let me tell you something – you haven’t lived until you’ve had a shot with three little faces peering intently at the nurse as she jams a needle into your arm. I’ve mentioned before that I’m a fainter, right? I think I’m finally growing up because I didn’t even have to lay down this time AND I declined the sucker she offered because the kids were with me and I wanted to show them that shots are no big deal.

For the record, that was a risky little game I played. Had I hit the floor I could have scarred them for life. Sometimes you have to take chances, right?

“Whoa,” Landon whispered when Nurse Ratchet finally, mercifully, pulled the needle out of my arm and a stream of blood followed. “Dat is a wot of bwood.” Then he held my hand and kissed my cheek. “I wuv you, Mommy,” he whispered, genuine concern oozing from his crystal blue eyes.

You can’t have him, folks. He’s mine.

As we walked out, Sloan thanked Nurse Ratchet. “Thanks for giving my mom a shot so she won’t get sick and die and stuff,” he called. Die and stuff? What’s the “and stuff?” I decided not to ask…

I’m preparing for the trip in a lot of ways, but the one way I really need to prepare is scaring me. Physically I feel like I’m preparing fairly well. I’m taking vitamins and probiotics to hopefully get my immune and digestive systems toughened up. I’m working out semi-regularly so I can be somewhat in shape while we’re there. I’m inoculated against everything under the sun.

Seriously. I think I might glow in the dark at this point…

 I’m trying to get more sleep and spend quality time with the kids and I’ve got at least one date night planned out with my husband before I leave. I’m going to write the kids notes they can open every day and buy little Dollar Store trinkets to help them pass the time until I get home.

Those are the easy preparations.

It’s the inside that has me a bit on edge.

As I’ve spent time praying over this trip, I’ve asked that the Lord change me. Change my heart and change my perspective. But I’ve spent so much time preparing the exteriors that I don’t know if I’ve fully prepared my heart for what I may see and experience.

I don’t want to come home the same and that scares me.

It’s easy to prepare physically for a trip like this. But emotionally and spiritually, it’s a little more frightening. Part of me wants to put up a shield of protection and just go over there and write up an assessment of how Compassion International operates and how you can be a part of it.

Sharp shooter. To the point. Safe.

Self-preserving.

But I don’t want to miss the opportunity to be changed and challenged and pushed to a deeper knowledge of what it means to serve others. I don’t want to miss the chance to learn and further understand Justice, because I’m pretty sure my Western mind has a very skewed idea of that concept.

In nine days I will board a plane and I want to know I’m not alone in this journey. Join me, please? Would you pray for everyone on the team as we work to honestly and fully bring you stories of how you can (and how many of you probably already are) impact the life of a child in Jesus’ name?

This trip is more than an experience. It’s more than an opportunity. It has to be more than that, because it can’t be about me. How can we all collectively be moved to greater compassion for those in need? It’s a lesson I need to learn and I wondered if you’d walk the road alongside me.

Thank you for the kind words and emails that many of you have already sent. I can’t wait to take this journey together.

Happy Wednesday. 

Filed Under: Blogging, Compassion International, faith, Ministry, Travel Tagged With: , , , ,

How to Succeed at Blogging: The Finale

April 20, 2012 by

We’ve discussed the rules of blogging and tips and tricks for making your blog easy to read. Now let’s talk about the question that burns in every new blogger’s heart: How do I monetize this thing?

First, you have to decide if you really want to monetize your blog. Because you don’t have to. If you want to keep your blog simple and free of ads, that is fine! However, you can still benefit financially from your blog even without running ads.

If you are interested in running ads on your blog, be aware that simply joining an ad network such as Google AdSense or Blogher, or any of the others, will not immediately make you hundreds of dollars.

I make enough off of my Blogher ads each month to buy 4.6 Starbucks – VENTI. Obviously that is worth its weight in gold, but I wouldn’t exactly call it a windfall.

There are other ways to benefit financially from ads, though. You can sell individual ad space in your sidebar on a month to month basis, which can quickly ad up depending on how much you charge. I have not done this yet mainly because I wanted to be in a position to really be able to offer advertisers a return on their investment (i.e. I wanted a higher volume of traffic). If you only have six visitors a month, most advertisers aren’t going to shell out the big bucks to rent space in your sidebar.

Weird, huh?

Most bloggers find that their largest financial benefits have come as an indirect result of their blogs. When you work online, you create a virtual resume that opens up doors of opportunity you may not have had otherwise. For me, that came in the form of writing for other sites (who paid me for my services, some of them very well), book editing and speaking. It’s through these ventures that I’ve been able to create some financial support for my family.

Blogging was simply the platform that got me there.

You can benefit financially in other ways, though. Are you a photographer? A kick butt blog, with regular posts that allow people to see that you consistently take excellent photos can bring in more clients. Are you a product reviewer? You may see the financial benefits of saving money as you receive free product to review.

As a quick aside, though, let me speak directly to those of you who want to review products. I encourage you to maintain your integrity when pitching product to your readers. Be honest in your reviews and be willing to turn product down if you know it’s not something you would be able to review with integrity. Don’t push product just because it’s exciting to get something free in the mail. Product reviews can be done really well, and they can be done really poorly. Aim for honesty and integrity and don’t sell yourself short!

Remember that if and when you do start earning money from your blog you need to handle it wisely. If you find that you are bringing in more significant amounts than 4.6 Venti Starbucks, you may want to hire an accountant who will help you run your business in such a way that Uncle Sam doesn’t come searching for you in the fall.

If you’re just starting out in this wide world of blogging and you wonder how on earth you will ever get your foot in the door, my suggestion is start small. Write for a larger site for free. Gain some experience and slowly begin to build up a resume. Like any business, networking is key to success. Try to get to know a few successful bloggers and glean from their experience and wisdom.

A couple of years ago I hit a wall with my blog. I was discouraged and frustrated. I felt like I was working my tail off with little to nothing to show for it. Then I met three amazing women who I had admired from afar but never had the privilege of knowing personally. The day after I met Danielle, Suzanne and Ria, I sent them an email and just put myself out there.

I wanted their advice and I respectfully asked for it and you know what?

All three of them wrote me long, sweet responses with some of the greatest encouragement I’ve ever recevied. Danielle even called me on the phone and spent 45 minutes just talking with me. She didn’t have to do that. She’s a busy lady, but she was willing to take the time and I now count her, as well as Suzanne and Ria, a dear friend.

Likewise, Janice spent a solid 30 minutes talking with me my first year at Blissdom just trying to understand how she could better help me accomplish some of my personal goals. There are bloggers who have walked this path before you who are willing to help. Be respectful and understanding of their time constraints, but also, don’t be afraid to seek out advice.

Their words of wisdom just might be the springboard to your success.

And with that, I will conclude my series on how to succeed at blogging. I know I haven’t covered everything and I’m more than happy to answer questions if you have any. I hope, however, that you’ve been encouraged this week as you prepare to take your blogging to the next level!

Happy Weekend!

Image Credit

Filed Under: Blogging Tagged With: , ,

How to Succeed at Blogging: Part Deux

April 19, 2012 by

Time to ring your bell and let your blog be known!

Did you know that you have less than ten seconds to impress a reader when they visit your blog? If a reader’s eye isn’t immediately drawn in and their attention captured, they will leave your page faster than you can say “Minivan Moms Rule the World!” The key is to get them to stick around.

We discussed it yesterday, but a good design will pave the way. Think of your blog design as the architechtural structure of your house. It’s the bones – the frame – and it immediately tells the reader, this place is cool and inviting or that’s the scary house that all the kids dash past.

You want to be the former, just so we’re clear.

Pops of color and an easy readable layout are key. Do your readers need an advanced degree to navigate your blog? If so, it’s probably time to scale back. It’s not about showing off all the design tricks you know – it’s about simplicity and functionality.

Want a few examples? I thought so! These blogs are fun to look at, easy to navigate and create an online atmosphere that makes you want to stick around and read more:

SimpleMom

The Nester

Angie Smith

How to be a Dad

And the list could go on and on. There are a lot of good examples out there so if you want to compete, you’ll need to invest something – either your own time if you know graphic design or, if you’re like me and you think that only people who have been sprinkled with magic fairy dust can navigate the jungle of html, you hire the job out.

Now, if design is your home’s structure, then writing is your floor plan. It’s the walls and the rooms that fill out your home and there are a few things you should always remember when writing a blog post.

First, brevity is key. My time is precious to me and is my number one commodity. If I click on a blog and the post appears to ramble on and on for eternity, I will leave without reading a single word. I simply don’t have time to dedicate long periods of reading at the computer.

And neither do you.

There is no hard, fast rule for how long a blog post should be and obviously they will vary, but my rule of thumb is to always try and keep a post 800 words or less. I do this because I know that as soon as I cross that 800 word mark, I’m losing your attention and I really want to honor your time by writing concisely.

Sometimes I go over, but not by much. If I hit 1,000 words I edit heavily or split the post up into a series.

The trick to writing an effective blog post is to lay it out in such a way that readers can skim it quickly. This means short paragraphs, zippy one-liners that are set apart, italics for emphasis and bold to break up the monotony. And every once in awhile, just for fun, THROW IN ALL CAPS FOR GOOD MEASURE.

Finally, if the design is your structure and writing the walls – photos and video are the beautiful pictures and decorations that make your website feel like home. Use large photos that capture the readers’ eye and draw them in. The better the photography, the more likely someone is to stay and browse awhile.

Video is also an amazing tool to engage your audience and it’s one that I don’t utilize enough. I have big plans and lofty ideas, but have yet to take the time to execute. If you love being on camera and editing video, though, then vlogging may be a good outlet for you to consider.

Check out Jim at Busy Dad Blog. There’s a guy who knows how to utilize video and photography in a way that keeps us all coming back!

Obviously there are some rules to how all of this works. Many of them are unspoken and some are painfully obvious. First, don’t plagiarize. This seems like common sense, I know, but it happens and it will destroy your integrity and any trust you may have built among your readers. Write well and make sure your words are your own.

Second, give credit where credit is due. If you got a blog post idea from someone else, link back to them. Don’t do this in order to get your back scratched in return. Do it because it’s the right thing to do. This also applies to using photography that’s not your own. Always cite where you got your pictures from if they aren’t your own.

Finally, be consistent. If you know you don’t have time to write every single day, then choose two or three days a week that you know you can maintain and post consistently on those days. People like predictability and they are more likely to keep coming back if they know they’ll be greeted with new material when they show up.

I’ve now exceeded my 800 word mark so I will end with this. Blogging is fun, so have fun with it! Make us smile, make us think, encourage us to dig deeper and dream bigger. Invite us into your rockin’ house here on Blogger Blvd.

Okay, I seriously need to wrap things up. How cheesy was that?!

Tomorrow? How to make money blogging.

Filed Under: Blogging Tagged With: , , ,

How to Succeed in Blogging Without Even Really Trying

April 18, 2012 by

Monday night I participated in a live Spreecast hosted by Janice and Susan on blogging and the ins and outs of why we participate in this crazy online world. There were so many great questions asked and I thought I’d offer a few of my thoughts on the business of blogging.

I’ve been at this blogging game for a little over four years now and while I do not claim to be an expert by any stretch of the imagination, I have picked up a few tips and tricks along the way that have been useful for me and, perhaps, they will be useful to you as well.

First, start by knowing why you blog. Are you just wanting to keep a family journal for long distance relatives to see and participate in? Do you want to gain a larger audience? Do you have a message you want to share? Do you have a business that you want to promote? It helps to write out exactly what you’re wanting to do with your square of internet real estate.

For example, my goal for this blog is to simply tell stories. Sometimes they are about my kids, sometimes my husband, but most times those stories are about me. Story telling is, and always has been, my creative outlet. I try to keep things light as much as possible because Lord knows there is enough heavy in this world to drag us all down. But on those occasions when life gets overwhelming and humor isn’t quick on my finger tips, I share deeply and honestly.

That is my mission. I know it and I’ve embraced it and I feel much more confident in my blogging.

Second, know where you want to go with your blog. Do you just want to stay small and private? That’s fine! Embrace it. Do you want to work with brands and review products? Go for it! Do you want to grow your audience and reach more people? Great! There are a few things you need to do to make that happen.

  • Write well. The prettiest design and catchiest title cannot make up for excellent writing.
  • Market yourself and make contacts. This is an area that I’ve really struggled with. I am not good at networking and marketing, much to my husband’s chagrin. But it is so necessary and there are different ways to do this. From blogging conferences, where you can interact with others face to face (gasp!) to Facebook and Twitter, there are a lot of ways to promote what you’re doing, but this leads me to my next point.
  • Don’t overmarket yourself. Don’t make every interaction about you and your blog. It’s annoying and a turn off. And please, please, please – do not leave comments on other people’s blogs promoting your own blog. That’s obnoxious and won’t gain you followers. (Unless, of course, it’s during an online event such as the Ultimate Blog Party in which such promotion is expected and welcomed.)
  • Offer to guest post for someone else. Many larger sites offer the opportunity for guest posters and it’s a great way to gain exposure.
  • Be nice. Don’t gossip online…about anyone. Not your mother-in-law, your husband, your siblings or another blogger. The same rule we teach our children applies to blogging, “If you don’t have something nice to say then, ‘Shh!’ Say nothing.” Don’t forget that your words live forever on the internet.
  • Interact with your readers as much as possible. When I have time, I try to visit the sites of the people who comment on my blog. I don’t always have time to comment back, but I do when I can and when that person comments again on one of my posts, I feel like I know a little more about her (or him). Make friends in this space because that’s what we’re here for – interaction and support.

The title of this post is completely misleading and basically a flat out lie, by the way. You can’t succeed in blogging without trying. Everything worth pursuing takes effort, right? Put in the effort, have fun, and don’t forget that there’s a whole lot of life to be lived offline. Blogging is an outlet, not life itself. Don’t allow those two things to get mixed up!

There are a few more things I’d like to say on this topic so I’m going to write another post tomorrow. There are things you can do in your posts specifically that keep readers engaged and wanting to read more and I’ll share those things along with a few more tips. On Friday we’ll discuss how to make money blogging.

If you have any specific questions for me, you’re welcome to leave them in the comments section or email me at kellistuart00 (at) hotmail (dot) com.

Filed Under: Blogging Tagged With: , ,

Let’s party like it’s 1999

April 13, 2012 by

Normally I don’t jump on a lot of linkys because they intimidate the heck out of me, but I just adore the ladies at 5 Minutes for Mom and couldn’t resist partying with them this weekend. Especially because I get to party at home in my fat pants and without any make up.

However, there is currently a cold Margarita sitting right here next to me so this party’s about to start hoppin’!

This post is for all of you fellow partiers that are joining me from 5 Minutes for Mom. You can read a lot about me and my family on my About page, but I’ll add a bit here as well.

I’m Kelli and this is my blog. Obviously. I am a story teller and humor is both my defense mechanism as well as my outlet for simply enjoying this wild ride called life. The pages of this blog have evolved over the last four years as I’ve grown and matured as a mom, a wife, a writer and a friend. When you come here, I hope you laugh and walk away encouraged.

I try to keep things light-hearted around here, but every once in awhile life throws a curve ball and my posts become a little…heavy. Last summer, our family moved from St. Louis, a city we loved and adored, to Tampa, Florida. We love Tampa, we really do. It has a beach. Like an actual beach…not a patch of sand dumped in front of a pond.

But moving is hard and we still don’t feel settled. It feels like we are on the longest vacation ever in the history of all the world. But in the move we’ve found joy and laughter and a reignited passion for one another that I wouldn’t trade for anything else. We are being refined every single day.

I am homeschooling my kids this year. It’s been amazing. It may be the only year I do it, but I have been so grateful for the chance to gather my little ones under my wing and ride this wave of change together.

I am smack dab in the middle of writing a novel. It has the potential to be amazing. Or to totally bomb. I’m not sure, but I do know it’s a story that I’m supposed to tell and my characters are so engrained in who I am that it’s second nature to tell their stories.

My husband is extremely handsome. And that’s not an exaggeration – it’s a cold, hard fact.

I love Nutella. Like, maybe abnormally so. I would bathe in it. Is that weird? That’s weird isn’t it…

I love writing and blogging has been an amazing tool for me to expand myself as a person and a professional. Blogging has opened up a world of opportunity for me (some of it thanks to Janice and Susan who let me write for them on occasion and how grateful I am for it!). I have blogged from Austria, from Montreal and in three short weeks I have the amazing opportunity to travel to Tanzania on behalf of Compassion International.

I absolutely adore my job. Every day I’m in awe of what I get to do. Last night as my husband and I enjoyed a beautiful dinner on a palm tree lined street in downtown Tampa I proclaimed with delighted surprise, “I am an international writer. This is my dream job!”

And by God’s grace I get to do it primarily from my home where I can get up at a moment’s notice and play a rousing round of Pretty, Pretty Princess any time of the day. Because Lord knows I can’t resist my daughter’s huge puppy dog eyes.

It’s nice to meet you. Leave me a comment so I can hop on over to your place. Let’s party like it’s 1999 this weekend!

Filed Under: Blogging, Florida, Life, Random Tagged With: , , , ,

Confessions of a chronic overachiever

April 2, 2012 by

Photo taken my my amazingly talented friend, Sarah, when she was here on Spring Break.

I have a confession to make. It’s not nearly as scandalous as my last confession, so please don’t be worried, but this confession is going to force me to make some changes, some of which might affect this little space I’ve created on the web.

The confession is two-pronged, because I don’t believe in doing anything small. Go big or don’t go at all, that’s how I roll.

First, I have a very nasty habit of biting off more than I can chew. I assume I can handle way more than I actually can and I convince myself that it’s fine, I don’t actually need sleep and Nutella for breakfast, lunch and dinner because I don’t have time to prepare a proper meal is perfectly acceptable.

Which, who am I kidding right? OF COURSE NUTELLA IS ACCEPTABLE AT EVERY MEAL!

Okay – so that’s the first part of the confession. I take on too much and assume I can handle it just fine.

The second part of my confession is I am terribly prone to laziness. It’s true. I am the dog from the movie UP. I can be perfectly engaged in an activity then SQUIRREL!

That’s me. It’s not ADD, though I would LOVE to blame it on that. I’m just easily distracted and I have a hard time pulling myself back.

I’ve struggled with finishing the school year strong with the kids. I imagine every teacher the world over feels this spring time tug when the rigors of a daily schedule must wage battle against the pull of a warm breeze and the call of the outdoors. The fact is, I’m tired. I want to be done and so do the kids. But we can’t, because learning should never end.

I read this post by Ann Voskamp the other day and it reignited my desire to do this home schooling thing well. Whether this ends up being the only year we teach our children at home or we decide to do it again next year, I want it to count. This requires that I fight the laziness that threatens to invade and dig my heels in.

I’ve lost momentum on my book. It’s a lot, this business of home schooling, maintaining a blog, writing a book, trying to keep a household running smoothly, editing a new manuscript and getting into shape.

SQUIRELL!

I need to finish the book and finish it well. Do you see a theme here?

So first order of business – GET MORE SLEEP!

Do you know how fascinating squirells are when you’re tired? Stunning little creatures…

My goal is to be in bed no later than 10:00 every week night most week nights because the whole stay-up-till-midnight-pretending-to-be-working-but-really-reading-blogs-and-surfing-facebook thing isn’t working for me. I’m tired. I need to sleep. I’m not a night owl and never have been. I’m accepting that and moving forward.

This means I need to be diligent with my time and get my butt out of bed early. In fact, I set up my alarm on my phone so that when it goes off, my screen lights up with the phrase “Get your butt out of bed you lazy A…!”

I firmly believe in tough love.

I am going to be kickin’ it on my book this month and I actually do have a book manuscript to finish editing. I will be here, too, but maybe not every day. And I’m going to add a third confession – that’s scary.

Shaun wrote about it last week. It’s sometimes difficult as a blogger to not blog because we fear the audience we’ve worked to build will go away. And honestly, I can’t afford to lose my audience right now. I’m counting on you guys to help me get the word out about Compassion International’s awesome work when I go to Tanzania next month. I want you right there with me!

So I won’t be far away this month, but I may not be here every day. Because I’ll be a little busier than normal trying to keep my head above —

SQUIRELL!

Filed Under: Blogging, Compassion International, Homeschool, Life, Novel, writing Tagged With: , , , ,
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