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Please Watch This!

December 12, 2012 by

Tia has the flu, Lee is out of town and I haven’t done one single thing to prepare for Christmas or Landon’s birthday (which is this Sunday). So my brain is scattered right now. too scattered to write coherent thoughts, but not so scattered that I couldn’t stop for a minute and marvel at this amazing family.

This, my friends. This is why we’re adopting. This is the perfect picture of what God has done for us, of our redemption.

He sought me.

He rescued me.

He gave me a name and an inheritance and a place to call home.

He took me from the pit where I was without hope and He gave me the title “daughter.” All I have is His and it’s all from Him.

This is adoption. This family is the face of adoption. Grab a Kleenex before watching this and prepare yourself. The tears will probably start to fall around the 3:20 mark.

(PS- I don’t know why the video is laid out so wonky. I can’t figure out how to fix it. Sorry!)

(PPS- If the video doesn’t appear here for you, then please, please, pretty please click here and watch it. I really want everyone to see this.)

I also had the privilege of sharing some of my thoughts on adoption yesterday over at 5 Minutes for Mom. It’s not a lot different from what I shared here yesterday, though I do include some tips for ways we can all encourage adoptive parents. Please feel free to pass the article on.

As always, thank you for taking this journey with us. We are honored to have you here.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: , , , ,

Adoption Update: Month Six

December 10, 2012 by

It’s been six months since we began this adoption journey. Shaky hands placing a thin sheet of paper into a crisp white envelope were what started us on this path. We told no one as we took this tiny, yet enormous, step forward. A step of faith. We had waited for the burning bush long enough – it was time to take action.

It’s been a roller coaster ride ever since.

I love reading the status updates and blog posts of my expectant friends. It reminds me of the exciting days when we were expecting a child. I would scour books and marvel at the fact that the child inside me was now as big as an apricot, a walnut, an orange, a pineapple, a small elephant (Sloan…that kid was huge!). I love the anticipation of pregnancy and the posts of growing bellys, gender reveals and approaching due dates leaves me happy with memory.

It dawned on me recently that part of what makes this adoption process so difficult is it feels so…lonely. I don’t have a cute, growing belly to dress. I don’t have weekly markers that point to the impending arrival. Whereas in pregnancy, most mothers can breathe easy after that twelve week mark passes, adoption always feels a bit tenuous.

I keep waiting for the floor to drop, for something to happen to end this journey. I think part of the reason that I feel this way is because I’m not celebrating the milestones – the little moments that mean we’re getting closer.

So here are a few little moments:

 

– Our paperwork is nearly done. We submitted the first round to our agency for review and were only missing a few documents. Unfortunately, one of them is going to take about six weeks to complete, so we’re in a bit of a holding pattern, but there are things we can be doing to keep moving the process forward so that when the paper comes, we’ll be set.

– We are almost $10,000 into the process. For awhile it felt like we were going nowhere with the funds, then BOOM! We had the next payment. We still have a long way to go, but I’m in awe of how far we’ve come.

Would you like to be part of that process with us? We could still use your help. I have ideas for some other fundraisers that I will kick off in the new year, but for now we are still running our Story campaign. So far we’ve received almost $2,000 from dear friends and readers through online and personal donations. Thank you!

– It feels more real. I get a little scared to admit that, but the fact of the matter is this has shifted from being an idea to being a person. There’s a person out there waiting for us. A little girl. She’s real and she is ours. She is as real to me as any of my children were in utero.

– She has become more real to the kids as well. There isn’t a day that goes by that they don’t mention their baby sister. They are excited to meet her and I’m so proud of how they’ve embraced the idea.

There are still challenges to be met in this process, though, and we would love your prayers:

 

– We still have a lot of money to raise. A LOT of money to raise. God has been so faithful to provide and we prayerfully wait to see what He’s going to do next. But I am a terrible fundraiser. I am being stretched and pulled in this process and have learned so much already.

– The paperwork needs to be coordinated and sent to various states to be apostilled and I am so nervous that stuff will get lost in the process. We are also on a bit of a clock and with our final clearance six weeks away, this leaves me a little worried that a lot of the paperwork will need to be redone. If we don’t receive a court date within one year from the notaries, the paperwork expires.

Ack!

– There are emotional challenges to prepare for. I don’t expect that bringing an adopted toddler into our home will be all sunshine and roses. It’s going to be hard and I’m sure there will be days when I sit on the floor and cry from exhaustion and an overwhelming sense of fatigue.

Kind of like I did with every one of my kids when they were newborns and I couldn’t figure out how to manage life with all the change.

In so many ways, this adoption journey mirrors a pregnancy. But it differs in a lot of ways, too. People don’t always understand why we chose adoption. I find myself still feeling like I need to defend our decision to do this and I must constantly stop and remember that we all have a different journey in this life. Our path won’t look like your path and that is okay.

Will you pray for us? As we head into the holiday season, I find myself longing for my daughter. I want to know who she is and see the completed picture. This is the exact same way I felt when I hit about seven months pregnant with each of my children. I was just ready to be done!

The only difference was that when I was seven months pregnant, I knew I only had to wait eight more weeks. At this point, we are very likely still looking at another year.

Adoption is hard. It’s so very, very hard. I may not have the growing belly, but I very much am growing a baby. She is growing in my heart and until she’s in my arms, I fear I will feel incomplete.

Thank you for praying.

Filed Under: Adoption, Adoption, Family, Motherhood Tagged With: , , , ,

Stuff I think you should know

November 8, 2012 by

There are a few things I’d like to get out there and not a single one of them relates to the other. So consider yoursevles forewarned – this post is random. And I’m including bullet points so that my Type A friends can get excited.

 – First of all, the election is over. I’m not sure if you heard or not. Maybe where you are no one’s talking about it? Because where I am every. single. person AND their grandma’s second cousin’s best friend’s are discussing the results. Me?

I’m kind of over it.

It’s over and done and the decision has been made. It wasn’t the outcome I had hoped for, but we don’t always get what we want now, do we? Time to put on our big kid undies and forge ahead. Here’s to hoping we can move forward in kindness and without all the doomsday predictions, name calling and gloating.

The world isn’t going to hell in a handbasket. Not today, anyway. The only response that we can fall back on now is prayer. We must pray for wisdom and protection. We must pray for Israel and for our troops. We must pray for the plight of the unborn and for an immense intervention over the President and the decisions he must make.

Pray and cooperate where you can cooperate. Fight the battles worth fighting, but do so with respect. And realize that our country is headed in a different direction. Perhaps some of you are happy about the direction we’re headed. Maybe some of you aren’t happy about it. Whatever side you fall on, fighting won’t make it better.

We still have to figure out how to get round rolls on square pegs. Maybe we could work together a little more?

And in the end, we’ll always have Nutella. The day that is removed from the shelves is the day we pack our handbasket…

(I’m kidding, by the way. I know there are more serious things than Nutella, but by nature I am an optimist and a glass half full kinda gal. I’m like a cross between Tigger and Rabbit, with a tiny bit of Piglet thrown in for good measure. Please don’t send me nasty emails. Kumbaya, eh?)

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 – Let’s lighten things up. Did you know that a brand new style blog has launched. It’s written by Mom’s for Mom’s and guess who is one of the Style Maven Mama’s featured?

ME!

Did you guess right?

Wait, why are you laughing? I’m stylish! I have pink hair. And really, come on…YOGA PANTS ARE A STYLE!

Anyhoo…it is a FUN site put togehter by FUN people and will be a place that inspires you to look your best and to have FUN. (The caps lock makes it all seem so much FUN, doesn’t it?)

Hop on over to Together in 10 and get some style inspiration in ten minute bites from some lovely ladies of the web!

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 – I’m still posting on my new website. I have some posts churning, but I need to let them stew a bit. I’ve found it is much more to my (and your) benefit if I sit on posts now and again to make sure that those are words I really want the whole wide world to read.

Or, ya know, the 17 people who visit this blog. Whatever.

KelliStuart.com is up and running. Boom!

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 – I worked out today. I know that’s not very exciting, but it happens so rarely these days that I feel like it deserves a little recognition.

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 – I have some big ideas churning around to have a little fun around here while raising money for the adoption. Several friends of ours are currently in country (or have recently returned home) to pick up their adopted children and can I tell you that every time I see a picture of a little one wrapped in the arms of her new parents, I fall into fits of ugly crying?

I long for that day. Who is she? Where is she?

Pray for our daughter, please? Cover her with the wings of your prayerful protection until the day when we can reach her.

Okay – so that’s all for now. Come back tomorrow for a fun little review/giveaway.

Jiggety jig.

(The weather is so chilly right now, I just feeling like jiggeting wherever I go. Jiggety jiggety jig!!!)

PS – How are you doing right now? You’re praying for me – how can I pray for you?

Filed Under: Adoption, Blogging, politics, Random Tagged With: , , , ,

Adoption Update

November 1, 2012 by

 I wanted to give a quick adoption update.

WE ARE FINISHED WITH OUR PAPERWORK!

If anything deserves a medal, that does. It was hard, but I’m pretty sure we got it all done. We have also sent into our first grant application and have two more grant apps waiting to be filled out and an application for an adoption loan.

It’s all slowly coming together!

We are working really hard to use several different avenues to raise the needed funds. Adoption is extremely expensive and we don’t for a second assume that we can bring the money in without a lot of work. I’m searching out ways to pull in extra funds through as many channels as I can and we have committed to saving bonuses and cutting back expenses in every way we can.

Right now, we are about $2,500 short of our first payment, which will allow us to have our paperwork looked over and checked for errors. Once that process is finished we can send it all in to have it apostilled, and when that is finished our dossier will be complete.

Friends, this is huge. A completed dossier means we are so much closer to meeting our daughter. I get so emotional when I think about meeting her. Just the other day, Tia and I were cleaning out her drawers and setting aside clothes that don’t fit any more.

“These can be for my sister,” Tia said, very matter of factly.

Her sister.

We are close….and yet, we’re still really far.

We’re $2,500 short of taking the next step. If you feel so impressed, would you be part of this journey with us? We need 250 people who would be willing to give $10. Or 125 people who could give $20. Or 100 people who could give $25.

Would you be part of this journey with us? We don’t take your participation lightly and we are infinitely grateful for all who have joined us so far. It is humbling to ask for help – it is more humbling to receive it. I have been floored by the generosity.

And I know that these are tough times, so please know that our feelings are not hurt if you don’t give financially. Your prayers are equally coveted – prayers for our daughter’s safety and well being (she is very likely already born); prayers that the Lord will bring the finances needed to bring her home; prayers for the emotional safety and protection of our family and children.

We need you all in so many ways. Thank you for joining us.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: , ,

On Halloween and Pumpkins and being a Scrooge

October 31, 2012 by

I’m going to go ahead and lay it all out for you. I am not into Halloween this year. It can just pass on by for all I care, because I have put zero effort in. We haven’t bought costumes, we haven’t carved pumpkins and I’ve got one bag of candy corn to give out.

I’m like the Halloween version of Scrooge. BAH HUMBUG!

Every year, we carve pumpkins. I bake the seeds, we enjoy this very fall-like tradition, but this year? Not interested. Because you see, what really happens is this: Every year the children draw their faces on the pumpkins, then I spend the next two hours scooping the gunk and carving by myself.

This year I decided no. And the kids really haven’t seemed too disappointed, which has diminished my mom guilt only slightly. Now if you all could quit posting your amazing works of pumpkin art on Facebook that would really be helpful.

I did buy three small pumpkins and let them paint them, so I haven’t completely failed. In fact, bring me a friggin medal people!

 

BAH HUMBUG!

 

Tia and Landon are digging costumes out of the costume chest. We have plenty to choose from and that suits them just fine. Sloan wanted to be a zombie or a vampire or something else equally boyish and “cool” but we put the kibosh on those things. I finally suggested he wear his David Freese jersey and a Cardinals hat and told him to go as David Freese.

He agreed.

I’m still waiting on my medal…

BAH HUMBUG!

 

I want to move on past Halloween and into Thanksgiving and Christmas, though if I’m honest, I’m not overly ready for either of those holidays yet, either. The cooler weather this week has gotten me a little more in the holiday spirit, though. Scones and hot tea in the morning make me feel festive. I may have to start listening to Christmas music starting tomorrow to psych myself up for it all.

Micheal Buble Christmas? Yes, please.

So what about you? Are you in the holiday spirit?

Which holiday are you ready for?

Filed Under: Adoption, Christmas, Halloween, Holidays, Thanksgiving Tagged With: , , ,

Born of the same laugh

October 15, 2012 by

Picture by Luluphotog.com

On Saturday, Tia and I took two friends with us to Orlando to revel in the magic of the new Tinkerbell movie – Secret of the Wings. We nestled into the plush seats of the Downtown Disney theater and for a little over an hour, we danced with fairies.

The movie was sweet and the laughter of the little girls around me was miraculous – it almost made me believe. But it was the message of the movie that stirred my heart in such a unique way that I came home emotional and full of sweetness and hope and joy and…wonder.

Clearly I am a bit emotional these days, yes?

The premise of the new Tinkerbell movie is that Tink, a warm weather fairy, longs to cross the border into the winter woods to see how the cold weather fairies live, but it is strictly forbidden. Of course, she decides to cross anyway and through a series of events, she discovers that she has a sister living in the winter woods. A sister she never knew about. A sister, born of the same laugh.

I watched the story unfold and I looked down the aisle at my girl, my own little fairy, and a new surge of hope birthed. The laugh and delight of God Himself gave birth to her, my warm weather fairy, but is there another? Does a sister, born of the Same Laugh, wait for us in Russia?

I will confess that sometimes I feel an immense amount of fear when I think of this adoption. It is so daunting, the process, and I fight against closing my fists around it because I know that I can’t. When we began this process, Lee and I stepped very delicately forward with an extremely bold prayer.

“Lord, bless this. But if it is not what You have for our family, close the door and make it obvious.”

The door has remained open and so we continue to step forward with a little more confidence each day, but I know that I cannot grasp it as a sure thing. I must hold it loosely realizing that this process, this hope for our future is His and it’s all to His Glory. It cannot be mine and I will not take any glory for it.

There is freedom in relinquishing control. I feel like my heart is a little more protected and less prone to devastation, and yet there is also a deep, deep hope that the end result is the one I desire it to be. The hope that allows us to bring home a little fairy, the one from the winter woods.

 

A sister for my girl.

 

Right now I have no reason to believe that we won’t see the frutition of this dream for our family, but I also want to learn from the journey. I want to trust wholly and fully on the One who delights in these young ones. I want to hold firm to His Plan and the understanding that He knows what is best for our family, not me.

And so I hope, and I hold loosely to the dream and the vision and Lee and I continue to take the steps forward to cross the border to the winter woods and bring her home.

Day 15: I hold my hands out confidently, palms held wide to the vision placed before us. I believe we are exactly where we should be.

How are you today? How can I pray for you?

I was not compensated for this post. I previewed Tinkerbell: Secret of the Wings at an advanced media screening and I am grateful for the opportunity to work with Disney. The new Tinkerbell movie releases on DVD on Tuesday, October 23.

Filed Under: 31 Days, Adoption Tagged With: , , ,

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday

October 10, 2012 by

You know what that is?!

That is our NEARLY COMPLTED STACK OF ADOPTION PAPERWORK!!

We are waiting on two pieces of paper and the completed home study, which all should arrive any day now. When it arrives, we will make all the copies, get everything notarized and ship it to our agency.

WAHOO!!!!

I thought that when I completed all of this, I would be done with paperwork.

Then I began applying for grants.

Than I almost cried.

Then I got over it because each paper gathered is a step closer to meeting our daughter.

Day 10: I believe we are going to make it through the paperwork phase. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting a tiny bit brighter.

Happy Wednesday to you all!

Filed Under: 31 Days, Adoption Tagged With: , , ,

Adoption Update

September 10, 2012 by

I’m having a baby. Not in the traditional way that I’ve done in the past. There is to be (hopefully) be no weight gain with this pregnancy, no migraines, no maternity clothes.

HOLLA!

This pregnancy is peppered with hour long phone calls to the Board of Medicine for an obscure letter, mountains of paper work and nights spent wondering…how long will this take?

It’s a different kind of pregnancy, but the end result is the same – a child, a daughter, waiting for us. She was ordained for us from the beginning of time.

Ours.

Yesterday we met with our home study agent. I sent my husband and children off to church without me and I spent the morning scouring the house from top to bottom. I cleaned window sills and baseboards. I mopped floors (even the laundry room!) and cleaned tubs. I swept and vaccuumed and placed cinnamon brooms strategically throughout the house.

Because a house that smells of cinnamon is clearly owned by a family fit to adopt.

CLEARLY!

I overdid it. I knew that as I prepared, but still it felt good to clean. It felt good to know that I was doing this for her – the little girl who is as much a Stuart as the rest of our children. It felt good to pour my energy into the process knowing that it was one more step forward.

A collage of all my pretties.

One of the most stressful parts of this journey was choosing the agency that would walk us through the process. I can say with certainty that we chose the right agency and I am so thankful for all their help. I send them roughly 57 emails a week and I get a response to every email almost immediately. I’m like that pregnant Mom who calls her OB every time she sits down to a meal to ask if the Cobb salad is good for her or if the steak needs to be well done and is it true blue cheese will make my baby grow a third ear on the back of his head?

That’s me – the crazy adoptive Mama.

In addition to our agency, I kind of fell in love with our home study agent yesterday…despite the fact that she didn’t bring her white gloves and run them along my sparkling baseboards and window sills. I briefly considered asking if she would like to eat her chocolate chip cookies off the freshly scrubbed floors, but thought better of it in the end.

I love how calm she is, how well she knows this process, how forthcoming she was with the information she felt we needed to gather. I’m just so thankful for how this is all coming together.

We’ve set up a specific page here on the blog to keep up with all that’s happening with the adoption. Do you see it? It’s right up top in the middle of the navigation bar and it says, oddly enough, Adoption. Because I am fraught with creativity.

There’s nothing on the page, yet, but it’s coming. We’ve got some things rolling around and coming together for fundraisers and I’m so excited to share them with you! Hopefully in the next week.

For now, I have a question for those of you who have been through this process, or perhaps know someone who’s been through the process. I need suggestions of good books we should read on adoption and the challenges and benefits of raising an adopted child. I don’t want horror stories! I want information. I want to be prepared.

I don’t want to be freaked out.

Now, I am off to pick kids up from school and headed home to eat lunch. Off the floor. Because danggit, the floor is clean AND my house smells like cinnamon AND I can see out the windows because I cleaned them.

It’s kind of awesome…

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: , , , ,

Climbing the Mountain: Part 2

August 24, 2012 by

This week, I am beginning one of the first treks up the mountain as I kick start a few fundraising efforts. I have a first chunk of money set out before us to raise and I’d like to have it by mid-November. I have no idea if that is an unrealistic goal or not, but I’m setting it out there.

To be honest, I’m not overly comfortable talking about the funding on ye old blog, but I also know I can’t do this without a little help, so with that in mind, I have a few ideas up my sleeve to start traversing up this first peak in our journey to Russia. We would really love to have all the funds needed to complete all the paper work by early Spring so that we can get on a waiting list for a referral with the hope that we will be able to start our travels sometime late next summer or early fall. I’m willing to work for these funds, and we plan to work hard, but I’ll need some help spreading the word.

And I am entirely open to suggestions as well!

So without further ado, here are a few things I’ve set in place to kick off our fundraising.

Advertising

 

Do you have a small business or indie-biz that you would like to advertise? Are you selling products or in need of a boost in your site stats? I am opening up private ads for the first time and would love to chat with you about it. I’ve set very reasonable prices and there are a couple of different options that we can discuss in your advertising.

From buttons in the sidebar to sponsored posts, I am willing to discuss what your goals are for your business and work with you to increase your traffic through the solid network of readers that give me the honor of their time here at Minivan Are Hot. With that in mind, though, I have always tried hard to keep the content on this blog fresh and relevant to motherhood and parenting, so while I am open to increasing the sumbers of sponsored posts I write, I will also be working hard to make sure the content is new and engaging and real and honest and I promise not to talk only about the adoption!!! Contact me at kellistuart00 (at) hotmail (dot) com for more information.

Writing/Editing

 

Did you know that my actual job for the last ten years has been ghostwriting and editing books? I haven’t done too much this past year with the move, but I am ready to take on a couple of projects if you are in need of any writing/editing. Have you written an E-Book or a book for print and don’t know what to do with it next?

Email me. Seriously, I’ve practically made a career out of pitching book ideas to publishers and have learned quite a few tricks and tips along the way. Do you just need a fresh set of eyes to go over the manuscript and help polish it? I would love to help! The super nerd in me gets giddy over editing. Giddy, I tell you!

Do you have a website that is in need of some fresh content? Let’s talk and see if we can work out a way to help one another out! Whatever your writing/editing needs are, I would love to help out. Email me at kellistuart00 (at) hotmail (dot) com.

Adoption Bug

 

One of the organizations that works tirelessly to help families fund adoptions is Steven Curtis Chapman’s Show Hope. I frequent this site often for encouragement, wisdom and tips on how to take this journey well. In an effort to kick start our fundraising, Lee and I have set up an Adoption Bug store, which is a free service offered to adoptive families through the Show Hope foundation.

There are six styles of t-shirts that you can choose from, and I tried to select a variety of styles and colors, all of which I would wear myself (and will, since I plan on ordering some of them!) We receive anywhere from 35%-45% on each sale of the shirts that come directly from our page and that money will go straight to adoption costs. Would you consider purchasing a shirt today?

And if you wouldn’t mind, would you spread the word about this Adoption Bug site? You can simply post this link (http://www.adoptionbug.com/stuartfamily/) to your Facebook, Twitter or blog to send people directly to our page where they can purchase the shirts we have chosen to sell. I’ve also placed a widget in our side bar that you can click that will link you directly to our Adoption Bug site.

Thank you for your help, my friends. This means so much to us.

Garage Sale

 

I have big plans over Labor Day weekend. Huge plans, indeed. I plan to ransack my house for each and every thing we do not use on a frequent basis and begin setting up shop for a gigantic garage sale sometime in late September/early October.

I know, it sounds like SO MUCH FUN. Don’t be jealous…

If you have tips or tricks on how to throw the perfect fundraising garage sale, I am all ears. If you live in the Tampa Bay/Clearwater/anywhere in Florida area and have items you would like to donate, please shoot me an email and let’s try and set up a time to meet. I will happily drive to you to pick up any items you might have to donate.

I am intimidated by this idea, but I’ve heard of so many people having great success with large garage sales, so I plan to roll up my sleeves and give it the old college try. The kids, for their part, are super excited because I’ve told them they can sell lemonade and cookies during the garage sale. Party!

Suggestions Welcome

 

Our home study is in two weeks. Once that has been completed and submitted, we will have a little more freedom to pursue other options for fundraising. We are all ears when it comes to this piece of the adoption puzzle and we welcome any suggestions you might have. I know that so many of you have climbed this mountain ahead of us so if you have something that worked for you, please feel free to share and thanks in advance!

There are a lot of things to consider and a lot of options out there for adoptive families. I even thought about selling spray painted curtain rods in an effort to raise funds.

No I didn’t…

The biggest piece of this fundraising puzzle is pray, pray, pray!! I can’t tell you how many people have told us that somehow, when they needed the money for the next big payment, it was always there. We are trusting fully that our hard work, paired with the grace and provision of the Lord, is going to result in met goals and we look forward to rejoicing in that with you all!

And if I may be so bold to ask, would you all be willing to share this post with others? If I can spread the word a bit on what we’re trying to do and hoping to accomplish, I think I could have a little more success in accomplishing these goals. Thank you. Seriously, I know I say it a lot and I’ll be saying it more and more, but thank you. Thank you for helping us make this happen.

Happy weekend all! I pray you have great fun awaiting you!

Filed Under: Adoption, Blogging, faith, Family Tagged With: , , , ,

Climbing the Mountain

August 23, 2012 by

He walked up to me and tugged on my sleeve, his eyes peeking out from beneathe a mop of white blonde hair. I knelt down so we could be eye level and he jabbered something unintelligable to my untrained ears. With no one to translate nearby, I sat down and pulled him into my lap and did the only thing I knew to do.

I counted his fingers, one by one.

Odin, dva, tre, chiteri, pyat, shest, syem, vosyem, devyet, decyet…

I don’t remember his name or anything else we did that day. I just remember sitting on the floor of the orphanage with a little boy in my lap, counting to ten over and over. I left that day with a seed planted deep in my heart to go back and to bring one of those precious children home with me.

That was nineteen years ago.

We are at the bottom of this mountain called adoption – base camp. The peaks that stand above us are daunting and intimidating. Had we chosen to make this climb ten years ago, or even five, it would have been much easier, much less intimidating, less expensive and less scary.

But we were to climb  the mountain at this time, and by faith we take each step forward knowing that reaching the summit is only hoped for, but is not promised.

Though I am not much of a mountain climber myself, I love to read stories of people conquering the world’s greatest mountains, particularly Everest. The dedication that they put to training and preparing for the climb fascinates me. Climbers go to Everest with a dream. To most of us, it’s a crazy dream. Why put yourself at that much risk for a mountain? It doesn’t make sense.

But to them it does. It’s a singular passion that drives them to grueling training sessions, thousands of dollars raised and spent and all is done with the very real knowledge that they could never actually make it to the summit. There are so many factors that could come into play to end their quest for the top, yet on they push because passion ignited is impossible to put out.

This is the place that Lee and I are in. We are standing at the bottom, looking up, a fire burning inside to reach the top but we know we must take it one step at a time. First, set up at base camp, get acclimated to the surroundings. We are reading and researching, filling out paperwork and communicating with those who have gone before us, who know the path and can tell us what to expect with each turn.

We are leaning on our adoption Sherpas.

Perhaps the most daunting peak that looms high before us now is the cost. It is the piece of this puzzle that shakes my faith the most. And yet, every morning as I pray and lay my fears down before the One who ignited the passion, I hear a very small whisper deep in my soul.

I Am bigger than the mountain. I Am bigger than the cost. I Am the one who still does miracles so great. I Am bigger than your fears and doubts. I Am bigger than the impossible.

 

I cling to these promises like a lifeline.

 

Jen Hatmaker wrote a post this week that opened my eyes to so many of the challenges we are yet to face. Before reading her post, I held the likely false assumption that our summit moment would come when we finally step off the plane in Tampa with our daughter in our arms, but I don’t know that this is the case.

That will be a beautiful moment and the view will likely be astounding, but there will still be more mountain to climb. There will be adjustments for us as a family, new dynamics to get used to, new routines to follow and a new person to learn and know.

The summit is still a ways off and there may be some rough climbing ahead before we reach it. But I trust that we will reach it.

Right now, all I see are paperwork and deadlines. Keeping the summit in view is crucial to getting through this phase of the process. Without that hope, without a picture of what might be, we would give up. Because this is really hard.

When I was pregnant with Sloan, I held a picture in my head of what I thought he would look like. He was our first born so I really had no idea, but there were loose images that would float through my dreams. I remember clearly holding him in the hospital after he had been all cleaned up and we’d been transferred to our new room.

I knew him. His face was so familiar to me. All those loose images came crashing together to form the face of this tiny child who seemed to have always been buried inside me all along. It was as though I’d known him my whole life.

I have a similarly loose picture of our daughter. There are no distinct features, of course. Russia is not like many other countries you adopt from. We have no guarantee of a skin color, eye color or hair color and none of those things matter to us. But there is this vague image that is floating and swimming and I cling to it with the hope that sometime in the next year I will walk into a worn building and lay eyes on a face that has been waiting for us since the beginning of time.

I’m climbing the mountain for her.

We are all climbing a mountain of some kind. Ours happens to be adoption and we would love prayer for the process. How can I be praying for you in return? Perhaps your mountain is the need for employment or a financial burden? Perhaps it is life changes or illness? Whatever the mountain you are facing, I would love to join you in prayer.

 

No one should climb the mountain alone.

Filed Under: Adoption, faith, Family Tagged With: , ,
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