Archives for 2009

My Mom Logic – Preserving the Past

Swish, Swish

The Painter deftly runs His brush over the broad canvas, a brilliant splash of color marking a trail behind Him.  With careful precision, He mixes colors, creating a palate that perfectly compliments.  Some colors are vibrant and immediately pop.  Others are muted, blending more into the background but essential nonetheless to the masterpiece being created.

With every swish of His brush, the Painter brings more life into what was once a dry piece of fabric…

I have spent a significant amount of brain power trying to think of the perfect post for this contest.  I’ve come up with a dozen witty lines sure to have the judges wiping the tears from their eyes as they heave in uproarious laughter. 

But tonight, as I reflect on this topic, I find that I cannot write that humorous post.  Which is probably a good thing because I doubt it was all that funny anyway.

papa-and-bebe-pictures-137

 random-2571

 

 

 

 

 

Above you see two pictures.  The woman on the right is my grandmother, Mimi.  The woman on the left is my husband’s grandmother, who we call (oddly enough) grandmother.

These two women are matriarchs in our family lines.  Swish, swish.

Mimi died on March 3, 2004.  Today, Grandmother lays in a hospital in critical condition.  In the last 48 hours she has managed to fight her way off of her deathbed, but she is still a very sick woman.  (since I first posted this, Grandmother has shown a miraculous recovery…Swish).  And my heart hurts.  The connections to the past, to the events that, though long ago, will ultimately play a part in molding who my children are as people, are fading.  I find that a difficult pill to swallow. 

Mimi was the original blogger.  After she passed away, my mom brought home a stack of diaries that Mimi journaled in over a period of 50 years.  They start in 1961, when Mimi and Poppi Jim settled in the West Indies as pioneer missionaries.  They lived without electricity or running water.  Mimi found a thousand different ways to cook SPAM.  Poppi Jim bought a small Cessna airplane to help with the mission work…and then he taught himself how to fly it.

Swish, swish.

In two months, I will go to the island of South Caicos for the first time and see where my mom grew up.  I will meet some of the people who still love and admire my grandparents to this day.  I will see the church and the school that my grandfather started.  The grandfather I never met because he died at the age of 45. 

Swish.

My husband’s grandmother has been a stalwart of strength.  She is the constant that we can always depend on for skads of hugs, kisses and unending pride.  She is the woman who took a computer class in her late seventies so she could better keep in touch with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. 

Swish, swish.

What is my mom logic?  Today, this moment, what seems more logical than anything else is to preserve this history of family for my children.  To help them see the fluid lines that are painted in the tapestry of life.  And to give them a pride in their part of this grand piece of art.  Their lives now leave behind a mark that gives greater detail to an intricate history.  I want my kids to grasp and respect this concept.

I also want my children to understand the power of the written word.  I want them to appreciate how precious the scratched out writings of their great-grandmother are and know that her words preserved moments in time that would have forever been lost otherwise.

And someday, I hope that their children will want to know who I was.  And as they search through the pages I’ve written, I want them to see the foundation that was laid for them by their ancestors.  (And I really hope they don’t think, “Gee, great-grandma was a weirdo…”)  That is why I blog.  That is why I spend time documenting the little moments in life.  That is my mom logic.

Swish.

This is my entry into the MomLogic contest.  While I do hope that I have found favor with the judges, ultimately I hope I’ve honored two women who I love dearly.   

Who Wants to Help a Sister Out?

*yet another update.  I got ten nominations!  WAHOO.  I will be writing a post soon with more information, but before I do that I just want to say…You love me, you really love me.

*update#2: Okay, folks – I just need two more nominations to qualify so if a couple more of you would mind taking a few minutes to head over to my momlogic site, I would appreciate it!  Oh, and I highlighted a fun new site over at 5 Minutes for Mom today.  I will be writing the Say It Forward column every Friday so go check it out if you get a chance.

*I just found out that you have to sign up at MomLogic in order to leave a comment, which is a little frustrating.  It doesn’t take very long, but still…If you still feel inclined to vote, I appreciate it and I’ll include telepathic air kisses in my thanks to you.  If not, I understand – I’ll still send out telepathic love your way.  Aren’t you glad?

There are certain necessities in life.  Food, water, clothing, shelter, shoes and of course Arbonne face products.  Anything outside of these essentials are merely bonus items.  And, you see, I really want one of those non-essentials.  It’s something that I’ve wanted a long time now but little things keep popping up that prevent me from getting it.  Little things like a new driveway, new tires for the car, etc…And, well, it’s something that’s a little pricey and somewhat frivolous, but oh how much I desire one.

I want a laptop.

Yes, I have a perfectly good desktop that I use every day, but how I would love the mobility of a laptop.  It’s hard to get much writing done with all the distractions surrounding my desktop, but to have the freedom to get away on occasion and write?  Bliss.

So I am asking for your help.  I have joined up with the MomLogic community and they are running a contest right now and guess what the winner receives? 

Yep, a laptop…and I want it.

So, would you all mind jumping over to my home page and leaving a comment nominating me?  I have to have 10 nominations to be eligible to win, but I’m hoping the more nominations I receive the better my chances of winning.  It’s really easy and really quick.  Just scroll to the bottom of the page and click on Add a Comment and say I nominate Kelli because she’s so awesome and her blog is the highlight of every day.  Okay, you don’t have to say that last part, unless you want to in which case I won’t stop you…  Bada-bing, bada-boom-there you have it.  The catch is that I have to receive all nominations by April 21, which is just a few days from now.

Thanks, bloggy friends, for helping me out!  If I win I will send you all telepathic hugs and fist bumps.  Because that’s how much I care…


Deep Breaths

Do you ever have those days, or weeks, where you feel like maybe, just maybe, this is the moment when it will happen.  When every ounce of composure you’ve managed to muster up to this point has slowly been siphoned away and you will finally lose your mind once and for all?

Yeah, me too.  In fact, I’ve had a couple of days like that.  I love my children with every single fiber of my being, but, well, some days I feel like the life is being sucked out of me; like I can’t suck in a deep breath between the constant demands that surround me.  And I’m just tired and frustrated.

I just sent my daughter to her room where I have half a mind to leave her for the rest of the day.  The trying three’s are upon us and ohmygoodness, they are trying.  I told Lee last night that it’s a good thing she’s the cutest child in the world, because right now, she’s just a little stinker.

I know that these years are short and they go by quickly and when they’re gone I’ll miss them and blah, blah, blah.  But today, right this very moment, I’m just fed up and annoyed.  Given that my face is breaking out like a prepubescent teenager, I am making the assumption that I’m also slightly hormonal, which is naturally not helping at. all.

Oh, and have I mentioned that my youngest, who is also about as cute as a child could possibly get, is teething and getting over a nasty virus which means he’s crying near constantly?   Yeah, cause that helps mommy out a ton.

Some days this thing called motherhood drains the life out of me.  Some days, I just feel like maybe I’m not cut out for this.  I look around and see women all around me handling their children with such grace and patience and I, unwisely, compare myself to them.  All of the bad mommy moments rear their ugly heads and the good moments – the ones where I am that graceful, patient mommy – get buried.

I have to remind myself not to do that.

I know that we all experience these days.  I know it’s okay.  I know that these years won’t last forever.  I also know that I won’t miss these moments where I feel bombarded, overwhelmed, under appreciated and generally frustrated.

What I will miss are these moments:

cute-tia2and these:spring-09-014 oh, and also these: spring-09-007

The mounds of laundry, the constant mess, the crying, whining, fighting and general feeling of suffocation are only a small part of the picture.  They are worth it every time I get a grin, a hug, a silly dance or a funny observation.  There is redemption as I hear my five year old pray before dinner, beseeching God’s mercy and grace on his family.  Those are the moments that I live for – the moments that make days like today tolerable.

Well, those moments and blogging, of course, because I feel much better now that I’ve vented for a moment.  Now, off to deal with the girl…

Easter Blunder

I loved Easter as a kid.  My parents made it a big deal in our house.  There were new dresses and bonnets (for me, not for my brother ’cause that would’ve been weird); baskets filled with goodies magically appeared on the fireplace on Easter morning, and, of course, we headed to church where there was always a feeling of excitement and joy in the air as we celebrated our risen Lord.

I try to create an equal amount of excitment and joy for my kids and it seems to be working.  They had a wonderful Easter weekend filled with family, food and laughter.  We are thrilled to have my brother in town for a little while.  Sloan has been wanting to have a Star Wars party with his Uncle Brett for a long time now, ever since he found out that Brett liked Star Wars when he was a little boy too.  So Friday night we made a cake, got some decorations and watched Star Wars together.  The kids had a blast – and so did the grown-ups!  We even played pin the voice box on Darth Vader.  It’s a slightly odd way to celebrate Easter weekend, I’ll admit.

On Easter Sunday, I got up at the crack of dawn to make sure I had everything ready for everyone because I had to be at church by 7:45 to prepare for morning worship.  By 7:15, everyone was dressed and the obligatory photos were taken.  The Easter Bunny left a note the night before telling the kids that he took their baskets to Boss and Bushka’s house (my parents) so thankfully we didn’t have to deal with that. 

Here are our sweet Easter photos:

Dress #1

Dress #1

Tia in her Easter bonnet, which she didn't want to wear because she was a fraid it would mess up her hair.

Tia in her Easter bonnet, which she didn't want to wear because she was afraid it would mess up her hair.

The Brothers Stuart: Aren't they handsome?
The Brothers Stuart: Aren’t they handsome?

My babies

Dress #2
Dress #2

What’s with Dress # 1 & 2, you ask?  Well, therein lies the blunder.  After I left for church, with my brood dressed and ready to go, I got to church anticipating their arrival at the 9:00 am service.  But, my dear readers, my husband made a classic male mistake. 

Because they were ready so early, he decided to swing through Starbucks on the way to church.  And, because he was feeling so joyous and relaxed, he decided to bless his children by getting them hot cocoa. 

Oh yes he did!

Somehow he forgot that our daughter is the. messiest. child on planet Earth.  Thus, when they pulled into the church parking lot and he glanced back, he noticed she had spilled hot cocoa all down her dress.

So he took her home where he frantically tried to get the stain out of the Easter dress that I had so lovingly picked out – much to no avail.  Thus dress #2.  We are still working on the stain on the other dress.  *sigh* Boys.  Oh well – after I got over the initial annoyance, I actually found the situation quite amusing because only a daddy would think that giving a child hot cocoa in the car in her Easter dress was a good idea.  Lee was sheepishly apologetic and we’ve been laughing about it since.

Hope you all had wonderful Easters filled with joy and laughter, and minus irreparable stains.

*sorry about the photos not all  being in order. I get the distinct impression that WordPress might hate me.  I’m still learning.

It’s a New Day

We are back in the land of the living, though Landon is still a sick little boy. He did sleep last night and his fever finally broke, but he’s so congested and he’s just wiped out as evidenced by the fact that it’s 8:15 and he’s already taking a nap.

Because yesterday was such a rough day, I wasn’t able to post my feelings on the conscience protection plan for physicians.  In 2008, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services passed a measure that protected physicians who choose to not perform abortions.  In March of this year, the new administration announced plans to rescind this protection.  Midnight of last night was the deadline to sign an online petition stating your opposition of this measure and I’m sorry I did not get that link posted earlier.

But, it’s not too late to let the President, the HHS and your congressman know that you vehemently opposed such legislation.

It is baffling to me how two sided people can be on this issue.  Pro-Choice advocats clearly only support freedom of choice when it serves the purpose that they want it to serve.  But what about a doctor’s freedom to choose whether or not he wants to participate in something that he may find unethical or, at best, detrimental to the health of his patient?  Rescinding the protection for these doctors is the very antithesis of the freedom of choice.

Shame on those who support this and are pushing for it’s acceptance.

If you have a few moments today, please visit the Freedom2Care site to find out how you can support physicians rights to not practice abortion.  There are several links within the site that will explain what you can do to show your support for our physicians and their right to practice medicine without persecution.  And, if you have a blog, take a moment to post about this topic and pass on the above mentioned site.

Do not let this matter go unannounced.  We need to band together to protect our freedoms, which are slowly being pulled away from us.  Let’s vocally support our rights as citizens to choose doctors that meet our ethical standards and let’s support our physicians who are fighting to do what’s right even in the face of opposition.

No posting from me today…

I have a sick, sick little boy who just needs lots of snuggles right now.  Landon is fighting a nasty virus that is causing high fever, running nose and a red, raw throat.  He tested negative for strep, which kind of bummed me out because we could have at least gotten medicine for that… 

But, I will not be absent long, dear internets.  I have a time sensitive topic that I want to post about sometime tonight or early tomorrow morning, so come back soon!  Okay, my baby is crying in his crib so I’m off for some more fevery snuggles.

Go check it out…

And leave your thoughts.  I just posted over at the blogger’s guild my thoughts/questions regarding the AP’s recent decision to seek out copyright violators.  What do you guys think?

American Idol and other stuff

So I’m kind of enjoying talking about American Idol on Wednesdays.  It’s an easy topic idea that requires little thought – and I’m all over that which requires me to use minimal brain power.

So here it goes, and this is going to be brief because I’m tired today: I did not love Danny, especially the beginning.  I did like Kris and actually really enjoyed the big band feel to the song.  

I don’t understand the judges sometimes – make it your own, and then a contestent does and they yammer, you made it too much your own, blah, blah, blah. 

Li’l appears to have run her course on the show.  Scott is a doll but I think even he knows he’s on borrowed time.  Anoop did well last night but he still rubs me the wrong way so I didn’t love him.  Allison was good, but really?  What does a sixteen year old know about making someone love her?  That was a little weird.  Matt rocked it out.  He was crazy good.  And Adam, well I don’t know because the show went over and my DVR cut off.  It would appear from Simon’s reaction, though, that he did very well. 

In all, a pretty good show.  And I’m sorry my recounting of it is so dry.  I was up almost the entire night with Landon who is indeed sick.  Remember the awesome hugs and snuggles I told you about yetserday?  Yeah, it was a fever.  So I’m tired and feeling lazy today.  Don’t these kids know that mama needs her sleep?

For  a more entertaining version of events, visit Boo Mama’s site.

The Mathematical Probability of Interruption

I have a theory I’d like to posit.  And no, I’m not sure if I spelled or used the word “posit” correctly – moving on.

Without fail, when I make the concerted effort to get up early in the morning so I can have a quiet time or do some writing, my kids also wake up extra early.

Undoubtably, if I sit down for a moment midday to rest, read a book, read blogs, write, someone will fall down and skin their knee, need a drink, have to use the bathroom, or, as is the case right now with Landon, just suddenly need a few extra snuggles (which I am gladly doling out so this post may take forever to finish).

Okay, I’m back and let me just say that I just got some of the sweetest kisses and hugs from that precious baby.  Wow…I hope he’s not getting sick. 

Anyway, I posted a status update on my Facebook page the other day regarding this particular phenomenon and received a fascinating response from one of my friends that got me thinking.  Her idea was that children can sense a change in air pressure, so if we move early in the morning, it stirs them.  While I find this to be a fascinating theory, I’d like to take it a step further.

Thus, I have now established The Probability of Interruption, which I feel certain should eventually be adopted as a true Theory.  Or not. I don’t know much about that sort of thing, actually.  I’ve always been a literature kind of gal. Me and math are not friends.

The Probability of Interruption states that as the heartrate of the mother, the bpm (beats per minute), rises and falls, so will the bpm of the child also rise in fall in opposite and similar effect.

Got it? No?

An example – this morning, I took my resting heart rate when I woke up.  I had a resting bpm of 56.  Once I rose and moved around enough to use the bathroom, get dressed, come out to the computer and sit down, my bpm had risen to about 62.

And Tia woke up.  Even though it was quite early and she went to bed late last night, she still woke up.  Why is this? Why, it’s because of The Probability of Interruption.  As my heart rate rose, do did hers.  Though I made little to no noise, she was stirred from her slumber.  In this instance, her heart rate rose in similar effect to mine.

Now, after rushing to get everyone ready for the day and Sloan out the door, my bpm was at roughly 68.  I sat down at the computer and after 5 minutes of sitting, it had fallen back down to 63.  It was at this precise moment that Tia hit her brother and he came to me crying.  Moments after dealing with that, both children were in need of a drink.  Why is this?  Because…you got it! The Probability of Interruption.  As my heart rate dropped, the kids’ bpm’s rose in opposite effect thereby causing inappropriate behavior and the metabolic need for sustenance.

This is why I have such a difficult time getting anything done.  If I want to clean, someone will ultimately thwart that plan.  If I want to take a shower, you can be sure that someone will pull open the shower door with some sort of desperate need – all because as my heart rate slowed into a relaxed state, theirs rose into an agitated state, thus necessitating (?) the need to interrupt my reverie.

So, in effect, The Probability of Interruption pretty much guarantees that for the rest of my life, I will likely be interrupted any time I begin to get too comfortable.  My theory obviously proves that as fact.

And, while this theory can have some mild effect on fathers, it appears that mostly and mainly The Probability of Interruption applies to mothers alone.  Even if dad is the one to wake up early and mom’s bpm remains in the resting state, the children will most likely either sleep through dad’s movement, or they will wake up due to the noise that dad inevitably makes and come wake mom up rather than disturb dad. 

So there you have it, ladies.  You now have scientific evidence that your children are hard wired to make sure that you never fully accomplish anything to the full extent.  Oh, and incidentally, this theory works just as equally if mom is doing anything that raises her heart rate.  This means that you and your husband will most likely want to make judicious use of the lock on your bedroom door if you get my drift…and I think you do. (blush)

Now I’ve embarrassed myself and my bpm is surely rising because the kids are going wild.  Gotta go!

The one in which I laugh inappropriately

Here’s something that many of you already know about me: I am a crier. It doesn’t take much to get me going.  I know this isn’t a big deal , but it’s not something that I love about myself. 

You see, the problem is that I am a noisy crier.  I can’t cry softly.  If I try to cry softly, it usually just builds up until I explode into a slobbering, blubbery mess.  This can be quite humiliating when I’m, say, in a movie theater. 

I sobbed throughout much of my wedding ceremony.  The tape of the service is almost comical because I’m sniffling so uncontrollably.  But once I start crying, there’s no stopping that train until I get it all out. 

I have, over the years, developed a couple of defense mechanisms in an attempt to reign in my sobbiness.  The first is to fight with every fiber of my being against the tears, which can only work for so long.  At some point, though, when my throat is throbbing painfully, I have to sneak away to some place private where I explode like Krakatoa spewing tears and snot in every direction.  This is, obviously, not ideal but is sometimes necessary.  It’s served me well at the last couple of funerals I’ve attended where I’ve managed to keep it together relatively well until Lee and I get in the car, then I dissaolve and scare my poor husband near to death.  I don’t think he’s gotten used to this side of me yet.

My other defense mechanism tends to rear its ugly head at the most inappropriate of times.  I laugh.  It’s horrible and even more embarrassing than the crying itself.  What’s worse is the fact that I have little control over what happens in an emotional situation.  I never know if I’m going to be the loud crier, the suppressive exploder or the obnoxious laugher.  It just happens.

This was especially embarrassing a couple of months ago when I took Sloan to the doctor for his five year check up and he had to receive shots.  Oh, have I mentioned I hate needles?  And I hate watching my children go through pain?  This was a lethal combination for me that was sure to lead to some sort of humiliating reaction.

As the nurse shoved a needle into my son’s arm and he started to cry, I felt the all too familiar lump form in my throat.  Of course, I’m trying to be brave so I can’t cry in front of him.  The next thing I know, I’m laughing near hysterically and the nurse is looking at me like I’ve just grown a freakishly large second head.  I felt like a jerk.  But I didn’t cry.

On Friday night, we had a family night.  We set up the projector screen and shined the movie Marley and Me up on the wall.  It was sweet and fun, until Marley died.  My sweet, tender-hearted Sloan got so upset that he buried his face in Lee’s chest and sobbed.

Me? I laughed.  I laughed hard, all the while blinking back tears.  Tia, who was sitting on my lap, kept turning around and looking at me and saying, “What, Mom? What hunny?”  And that only made me laugh/cry harder until I’m laughing and racking in sobby breaths.

Geesh.

So, if any of us are ever together during an emotional time and I start laughing callously, please do forgive.  And take comfort in knowing that all it really means is that I’m a big fat baby who has no control over her emotions.  Don’t you all feel sorry for my poor husband now?  I do.

Oh, and incidentally – for those of you who have not shown Marley and Me to your young children, I’ll let you know that while it is very sweet and generally wholesome, there are at least two scenes that we had to fast forward and I had to clear my throat several times to cover up bad words.  It’s not a movie I would let my kids sit down and watch without Lee and I sitting with them to monitor.  But mostly I found it to be a great movie – just be prepared to comfort sad kiddos at the end.