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Seven

July 9, 2010 by Kelli

Tomorrow morning, July 10, at 6:21 am will mark seven years since I first became a mother. It is hard to express in words exactly how proud I am of this child and the young man he is growing into.

He is tenderhearted and caring.

He is funny and expressive.

He is smart and thoughtful.

He is spunky and outgoing.

He is quick to anger (we’re working on this) but also quick to ask for forgiveness.

He aches when he knows he’s hurt somone’s feelings and will swiftly work to make things right.

He is also quick to offer forgiveness.

He’s loyal and will be a friend for life.

He is a remarkable little boy who grew from a brute of a baby (9 lbs 3oz – no drugs…Oy):

Into a beast of a toddler:

Into an adorable preschooler:

Into the handsome little boy he is today:

He’s athletic, able to smack a baseball and golfball with the savvy of someone twice his age.

He can speak and read in two languages. This blows my mind.

He harbors a minor obssession with Star Wars and can rattle off a web of details that I find rather shocking. It’s terribly adorable to hear him school his brother and sister on the ins and out of the Jedi Order.

Sloan is accutely aware of the suffering of others and desperately wants to help. Currently he is raising money for Haiti and he is passionate about earning enough to help the kids there who are suffering.

Sloan prays with a boldness that I admire and love. Listening to him pray is like being in a tent revival. He brings the fire in his prayers and it’s hard not to jump up and shout “Halleljah!”

In seven years, Sloan has taught me so many things. He’s taught me to love people, to smile more, to forgive others swiftly, to trust in the Lord’s protection without question, to take a deep breath before speaking, to pray passionately, to care for others, and so much more…

But mostly, he’s taught me that I have the capability to love far more deeply and powerfully than I ever thought possible. I didn’t know I could feel such a depth of emotion for one tiny person until Sloan came along. He is more than I could have ever asked or imagined in a son and I am abundantly grateful to be called his mom.

Happy Birthday, Sloan.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Motherhood, Sloan Tagged With: Happy Birthday, Motherhood, Sloan

Toy Story 3: Better Titled “Let’s Tear Mom’s Heart From Her Chest and Stomp On It”

June 22, 2010 by Kelli

Thank you, Pixar and Disney, for making me a blubbery, sobby mess. Thank you for gently forcefully ripping my heart from my chest and using it to play ball for 109 minutes. Thank you for making me so emotional that my husband, when asking what I thought about the movie, had to make a hasty retreat as tears shot out of the corners of my eyes like daggers.

Thank you, Pixar and Disney, for Toy Story 3.

I took my kids yesterday to see the final installment of the Toy Story saga. It’s been 15 years since I saw the first Toy Story. I was a senior in high school. Now I’m a mom of three. And the message of this movie was not at all lost on me. Especially given the fact that Tia sat on one side of me clutching her beloved Lovey Bear and Landon sat on the other, his Sock Monkey nestled snug beneath his arm. I couldn’t help but look at those two little toys, both so loved and content at this moment. What will it be like in fifteen years when they are cast off – no longer needed for comfort and companionship?

Excuse me for a moment while I go sob in the bathroom…

It didn’t even dawn on me when we left the house that they were carrying those toys with them to the theater to see a movie about the fate of beloved toys. But looking at my babies as Andy drove away on the big screen with his faithful companions left to watch his tail lights fade in the distance, I got so terribly emotional. It doesn’t help that I’m slightly hormonal, or that it’s been a tough week parenting.

As we drove home after the movie, I glanced in the rearview mirror at these children of mine – children who I love desperately. Time goes by so quickly. Yesterday (or so it seems) I married Lee. And then I blinked and it’s suddenly ten years later. If I weren’t such a prim and proper lady I’d let out an expletive. Instead I’ll settle for a simple, WTH! How does it move so quickly?

I read this on Nicole’s blog yesterday:

“When you’re holding your baby and he’s falling asleep in your arms slowly and the evening is slipping away and your mind is racing through the thousand things at the top of your list, and you begin to feel – as all fathers and mothers inevitably feel from time to time – that you’re wasting your time taking care of this little kid, try to remember that next year you won’t be able to hold him in the same way, he won’t go to sleep in your arms, and after a few more years, you’ll be happy to get a hug on the run. Our children are here to stay, but our babies and toddlers and preschoolers are gone as fast as they can grow up – and we have only a short moment with each. When you see a grandfather take a baby in his arms, you see that the moment hasn’t always been long enough.” S. Adams Sullivan, The Father’s Almanac

This parenting thing is hard. “Enjoy it,” everyone tells you, “Because it goes by so fast.” Even a bunch of animated toys told me the very same thing yesterday. What no one tells you, though, is that sometimes you have to work really, really hard to enjoy it. And that is, perhaps, what had me most emotional. I know it goes by fast, I know I need to enjoy it, I know I need to cherish the moments because they’re over in the blink of an eye – but to be quite honest, I don’t always enjoy being a mom. I love my kids, of course. They are so much a piece of me that I hardly remember life without them. But raising them…it’s hard.

Of course, it’s supposed to be hard now. “Put in the hard work when they’re young so that when they grow into teenagers you can reap the rewards of that hard work.” This is another piece of sage advice I cling to. On the days when it feels like all I do is battle, I remember that it’s better to battle them now when the environment is controlled than to battle them as teenagers when the battlefield is full of hidden mines and has a much larger scope.

But I would be lying if I said that I enjoy every moment of every day. Because I don’t.

I do, however, enjoy more than I don’t enjoy. Stay with me…Yesterday, and the few days leading up to it, was a hard day. There were many battles, many fights, many tears. And I was battle weary. Today, this morning, has been filled with sweetness. The kids have played together this morning without argument (and when I say argument, I mean screaming bloody murder at one another – sorry to any neighbors who were awakened by Sloan and Tia’s death match on the front porch Sunday morning). They’ve been pleasant and sweet, obedient even. And it hasn’t been a stretch to enjoy them. Yesterday, I had to search a couple of times for ways to like them.

So I was partly grateful to Toy Story for reminding me, yet again, that the time I have with my children when they’re young is fleeting. Yesterday was one day. There will be more days like it – days when loving my children is easy but liking them is hard. But I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I dread this time in our lives coming to an end. There are sweet days to come, moments to celebrate, birthdays to rejoice in, milestones to accomplish – but the days of them sitting in my lap, a stuffed animal tucked beneath their arms…those days won’t last forever. And it’s those moments that I cherish the most. I tuck each one away in the crevices of my heart.

And I will now commence to crying once more. Dumb cartoon movie…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Life, Motherhood, Sloan, summer fun, Tia Tagged With: Crying through Toy Story 3, Motherhood, parenting, Toy Story 3

Just call me MacGyver

June 18, 2010 by Kelli

Alternately titled: Why I owe them some Kotex

Thursday’s are our crazy days. A week’s worth of activities are packed into one afternoon and it requires me to be organized in order for things to run smoothly. Me. Organized. Those two words next to one another are a bit of an oxymoron. In fact, I recently wrote up a product review and giveaway for 5 Minutes for Mom in which I lament my organizational capabilities and I now have three calendars in my kitchen trying to help me stay on top of life.

They’re not really working, if you must know. There’s this funny little phenomenon wherein you must actually look at the calendar ahead of time in order to know what you’ve got planned for the day. Weird, huh?

So yesterday we tore out of the house at 4:35 to try and make it to Tia’s Russian class at 4:45 on time. At 4:32 I remembered I needed to pack a dinner because we would go straight from the kids russian lessons to Sloan’s baseball practice. So I threw some rolls, a few bananas, a package of ham and a chunk of banana bread in a plastic bag and off we went.

About 25 minutes before the end of the kids lessons, Landon grabbed my face and pulled it down to his. “I pooped,” he whispered. He didn’t need to tell me – the smell gave it away. It smelled like death – warm death…you get the point.

And then I realized…I had forgotten a back up diaper. I went out to the car to see if maybe, by God’s sweet grace, there was a diaper under a seat. No luck. And the smell was getting worse. Let’s just say Landon had a bit of a stomach ache yesterday. This hadn’t been the first, or even second, dirty diaper of the day. It was foul.

So I took him to the bathroom in the church building where russian school meets and began coming up with a plan. I swept my eyes around the sterile lavatory, trying to decide what I could do to remedy the situation until I had the chance to get a diaper. Toilet paper and paper towls – surely I could come up with a reasonable solution using those materials. Blast! If only I had some scotch tape and a paper clip!

I looked to my right and noticed on the wall were three small white cabinets. I decided to look inside and see if perhaps there might be a diaper in there – I know, I was reaching. The situation was getting desperate.

I opened the first cabinet and found the jackpot – a large supply of Depends and Kotex. Perfect. I stripped Landon of the death wrap around his bum and cleaned him up, then grabbed a Depends and stuck it on the inside of his shorts. But it wouldn’t stick. In case you’re wondering, Depends are not very sticky on the bottom…just an FYI in case you ever need them. Ahem.

So I grabbed two Kotex, pulled the stickers off the back and wrapped them around his waist, connecting them to the Depends to form somewhat of a diaper. Unfortunately this meant they were stuck to his skin which was uncomfortable and made him walk like a mini-Sumo wrestler for the remainder of our time at Russian school. I then hastily sent Lee a text asking him to bring us a diaper to baseball practice.

And that, folks, is how I have officially become the MacGyver of Mommydom. (MomGyver, if you will)

*groan*

The end.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Landon, Motherhood Tagged With: MacGyver Mom, Mom's being resourceful, Motherhood

I didn’t know, but now I do

June 15, 2010 by Kelli

I was fifteen when I told my mom that I fully expected to have all boys someday. “Why do you say that?” she asked as she pulled away from the movie theater where I had just finised watching Wesley Snipes slay the bad guys in Passenger 57 (I don’t know why I remember this detail so vividly yet for the life of me I could not remember scheduling a dentist appointment for myself this morning…).

“Because no matter how hard I try, I somehow seem to always end up alone with all the guys.” I said this as if it were a curse. But it seemed to me at the time to be true. Looking back on it, I see more clearly what happened. Yes, a large group of people were invited to see Passenger 57. Yes, both girls and guys were included in the invite. Yes, all of the other girls were smart enough to decline knowing that two hours of Wesley Snipes trapped on an airplane with terrorists sounded about as exciting as a jellyfish sting.

Ah, but in my youth I felt that it was nothing more than a sign from the universe that I was destined to be the mother of a motley crue of little men since I was obviously so inclined to be surrounded by them at all times.

Fast forward six years to my courtship with Lee when I found out the he was one of three boys, his father was one of two boys, his grandfather had all brothers and so on and so on. For five generations this was the pattern. Tucked in there somewhere was a cousin who had a little girl after three or four boys. Needless to say, the Stuart men possess an abundance of the Y-Chromosome. And this seemed to only further confirm what I thought I already knew – I was destined to be the mother of all boys.

I was really okay with this. I didn’t much care. Until, that is, someone made the comment that Stuart’s can’t make girls and that “hopefully I was okay with all boys”. Well, I was but now I had a challenge and in my stubborn little heart I determined that I would create a girl out of sheer willpower.

(I wonder if that is why I was given the most stubborn little girl on planet Earth? Huh…)

I am always careful not to minimize the blessing of a family full of boys. There is a prevailing thought amongst society that somehow a family can’t be complete unless both genders are represented in the children. While I will agree there are specific blessings that come with girls that are different from boys, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that had Tia been of the male persuasion I would have felt any less satisfied or enamored with that child. All boys, all girls or one of each, the fact is kids are an enormous blessing.

But I must say that there are a couple of things about having a girl that melt my heart. They are things I didn’t know I would love. Like cooking with my daughter and wearing matching aprons while we do it. I didn’t know I would love that so much.

But now I do.

Or the simple delight that takes over her face when I ask her to help me make dinner:

I didn’t know I would love that…but now I do.

Of course the boys love to help me cook too. But there is a different feeling that sweeps over me when Tia and I cook together. It’s marked by the fact that deep down I know our cooking together is preparing her to one day cook for her own family. It is more than fun, it is a mission and I feel deeply honored to share that with her.

I didn’t know I’d feel that way…but now I do.

I didn’t know how much fun it would be to see a little girl dressed in tights and leg warmers prance around a room:

I didn’t know what it would do to my heart to have my daughter ask me to help her with gymnastics. I liken it to the swell of pride Lee feels when the boys ask him to play basketball or baseball with them.

I didn’t know how my insides would melt and flow out my ears every time she crawled up into her daddy’s lap and his eyes turned all starry. I just didn’t know.

But now I do.

Of course, I also didn’t know that little boys, when they belong to you, have the ability to make you love playing ball, talking Star Wars and searching for worms in a way you never thought possible.

I didn’t know this…

But now? Now I do.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Landon, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: Daughters, Little Girls, Motherhood, parenting

He had to be first

May 19, 2010 by Kelli

Alternately titled: Those Third-Born’s Are Gonna Get the Attention Any Way They Can…

Sloan is the vivacious first born.

Tia is the only girl.

Landon is the third born who gets left behind a lot.

So he has to make a name for himself in this world.

One way he’s done that? Being the first to break a bone.

We have our first experience in a cast around here. We’re not entirely sure what happened. We were eating dinner. One minute Landon was in his seat – the next, he wasn’t. He came up gagging and choking on the chicken in his mouth, so you know, we had heart attacks.

When we all recovered from that we noticed his wrist was limp. He wouldn’t move it, wouldn’t grasp anything, didn’t want us to touch it. He also got lethargic and sleepy, so we immediately worried about a concussion. Rather than take any chances (Sloan had a concussion when he was 18 months old. We waited several hours to go to the hospital and he ended up on an IV) we decided to take him to the ER.

By the time we got to the hospital he had perked up a bit, but still refused to use his hand. Two hours later we came home with him in a temporary cast. I get to call the Ortho today to get him set up ith a permanent cast.

Goody. Just in time for swimming weather…

He didn’t have a concussion, though and despite his arm in obvious pain, he’s back to his usual self.

So there you have it – the third born has made a name for himself. He was the first.

Yay!

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Life, Motherhood Tagged With: Childhood broken bones, Life, Motherhood

To Arkansas and Back

May 17, 2010 by Kelli

We spent a lovely, relaxing week in Arkansas last week where we kicked off our time celebrating the graduation of Lee’s youngest brother from the University of Central Arkansas. Zach was thirteen when I first met him. He was fourteen when Lee and I got married. And now he’s all grown up, has a job and is such a great guy. I’m so proud of him.

I’m getting verklempt. Talk amongst yaselves. I’ll give you a topic. The Partridge Family was neither a Partridge nor a family…discuss.

We heard rumors that Kris Allen (also a UCA alum) was at the graduation. Actually, it wasn’t a rumor – Zach’s girlfriend got stuck behind the mob of young fans wanting his autograph. I didn’t see him, though, and it’s too bad because I think he’s a doll. I would have stared. I’m not afraid to admit it.

My son is a goofball. Seriously, where does this kid get his over the top personality? Lee and I are so reserved and shy…

My sister-in-law, Becke’, photographer extraordinaire, sat down and gave me some great photo tips. I learned about ISO (they’re like worker bees. Trust me…), f-stop, shutter speed, and how the three work together to create the perfect exposure. I learned how to shoot in Manual mode and, while I need a lot of practice (I still can’t take a decent picture indoors) I came away taking better pictures from just one session. I’m telling you – Becke’s good.

(She is equally skilled, incidentally, at killing mutant Arkansas wasps that better resemble a hummingbird than a wasp using nothing but a Steno Pad and sheer force while others, who are less brave than she, look on. Don’t ask me how I know this.)

Flowers are the best practice subject. They have vibrant color, unique shape and they’re still while you take their picture. Not like my kids who are apparently allergic to sitting still.

See that blurry background? I set that! I determined how much blur I wanted (the f-stop, if you will) and adjusted my shutter speed and ISO to match. Me! Let’s all do the happy dance together, shall we?

Now I just want an editing software. I am hereby entering every contest I come across for Adobe Lightroom or Adobe Photoshop. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I need Lightroom or Photoshop, but my want is riiiiight on the border of a need.

Besides photo lessons and graduation, we enjoyed an abundance of family time. We ate out every night – and when I say every night, I mean every.single.night. My stomach is in rebellion. I’m on a bit of a detox today of dried fruit, water and green tea.

We watched the kids soak up as much cousin time as they possibly could. From putt-putt to Wii, those kids relished every moment together. I loved playing with my cousins growing up and have so many cousin memories, so I’m excited to see my kids building the same memories.

The lone girl. She held her own with all those boys, even trying to convince her older cousin that she had boy parts. We’re still trying to get her to understand that she is, indeed, actually a girl.

The baby of the family was so thrilled to be invited along with all the big kids that I thought he might actually jump out of his skin on the way to play golf.

Sam – the concentrator.

Cade – the sports nut. Feel the emotion.

Eli – the cut up.

Sloan – the one who’s here to have fun.

We are officially back to life, back to reality. But – glory! – school is almost over. Tia has three days left. Sloan has ten. I can’t wait for summer vacation.

How long do you think it will take for me to wish school would start up again?

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Landon, Life, Motherhood, School, Sloan, summer fun, Tia Tagged With: Arkansas, Kids, Lulu Photography, Motherhood

The Haircut Heard ‘Round the World – One Year Later

May 13, 2010 by Kelli

On May 13, 2009, my children successfully completed a rite of passage for childhood. They did it with reckless abandon and fully confident that what they were doing was brilliant. They were proud of this accomplishment.

But alas, their pride was short lived and shattered the minute I gasped, shrieked and cried, “NOOOOOOOO,” before bursting into tears.

The home done haircut. We all did it as kids. I cut my bangs to the scalp when I was five and my mom reacted with similar shock, horror and anger to mine this day last year. But you see – my kids, they never do anything small. Oh no – they go full in, balls to the walls, after life. It’s a quality that will serve them well in life.

Provided that neither one of them ever decides to become a hairdresser, of course…

I give you – the haircut: Before and After.

Before:

One year later:

Before:

Too bad the mullet is no longer in style

One year later:

Before:

Why couldn't he have done this on the other side?

One year later:

Before:

One year later:

In the midst of my grief last year, so many people were sweet enough to remind me that I would one day look back on that moment and laugh. They were right – I do. But I also still remember that horror and the heavy pit in my stomach. So while I may laugh, I also cringe.

For Sloan’s sake, however, I have lifted the ban on his usage of scissors. This time last year he was forbidden to use them until he was 104. So as you can see, I have come a long way…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Life, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: bad haircut, childhood rite of passage, Children cutting hair, Motherhood

Repost: Sometimes a kiss and a bandaid won’t do

May 11, 2010 by Kelli

This was originally posted in July, 2008 after Tia had lost her beloved Lovey Bear on our trip to SeaWorld. She was devastated, as was I. In fact, I think I cried more than she did. But alas, this story has a happy ending. I ended up tracking down not one, but TWO more Lovey Bears (for a pretty penny, I might add) and that ratty purple bear is still a staple in our home.

And when I say staple, I mean he goes where Tia goes, unless, of course, she drops him while she’s on the run, in which case I end up searching frantically for him. I think it’s safe to say I spend half my time looking for that blasted bear. Sometimes I wonder why I went to so much troublw to replace him…

I’ve pretty much given up hope on finding Tia’s lovey. I know I’ve been talking about this a lot, but it really has been an upsetting thing for her and for me. I spent a little time thinking about it last night because I have honestly fluctuated between crying over that silly bear and laughing at myself for getting so upset. It’s more than just the fact that we lost a little piece of Tia. That, of course, does make me so sad, but it goes beyond those emotions.

As parents, we work hard to fix our children’s problems – especially when they’re little and the problems are so easy to fix. You got a scrape? Let mommy kiss it – all better! You’re scared? Here, come snuggle with mommy. And so it goes…

The problems, in general, are just easier to fix during these young years. But now, suddenly, my daughter has a problem that I cannot fix for her. It’s relatively minor, of course, compared to the real tragedies that could happen. But in her little two year old mind, she is missing her best friend and I am unable to fix that for her. I can’t turn back the clock and look for lovey before we left the hotel. I can’t will him to appear. I can’t find another one on the internet. It’s the first time I’ve watched one of my kids face disappointment and it stinks!

My mom wisely told me the other day that this will not be the last time I have to sit back and watch my child hurt and know there’s nothing I can do to fix it. We are approaching the school days when the sharp, pointed barbs of another child’s words could potentially devastate one of my kids. That is a wound I cannot prevent and it will equally cut through my heart to see them suffer such disappointment. There will likely be some snot nosed little boy that will one day come along and break my daughter’s heart and I will have to sit back and let her be refined through that experience.

Although truth be told, if a boy comes along and makes her cry, he’ll have to be far more worried about her daddy than he will me…

There are so many disappointments to come, so many heartaches that mommy will not be able to kiss away. For now I will relish the thought that for the most part, I am their hero. I can fix their problems, but I am praying the Lord will give me the strength to handle the bigger disappointments to come because if I get this upset over a little bear, what will I do when something worse happens?

With time, Tia will slowly forget that little purple bear. Before long, his memory will exist to her only through pictures and the stories we tell. I, however, will probably always long to find her lovey bear. I imagine that for years to come, every time I pass a children’s section of a store, my eyes will automatically glance through the stuffed animals hanging up disply, looking and hoping to see lovey bear. Long after her affections have moved on to something else, my heart will still long to ease the pain of the few weeks when she longed for her friend, her comfort.

Am I obssesive, or is this just natural? I haven’t figured that one out yet.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Tia Tagged With: Animal Alley Purple Panda, Motherhood, Repost

Favorites Week

May 10, 2010 by Kelli

I’m spending the week in Arkansas and I have limited access to the internet, so posting will be sparse. This is a good thing. I’m enjoying some time away from the computer and plan on reading a lot, sleeping a lot and not having a schedule.

Did you hear what I just said?! Not having a schedule…I thrive on schedules, actually. I hate not having a plan to my day. But the last few weeks have been so crazy and so over-scheduled that I’ve experienced a bit of a burn-out.

And when I say a bit of a burn-out, I mean I’ve been almost in full blown panic mode and have felt the need to carry a brown paper bag with me at all times.

Lee and his dad and brothers left while it was still dark this morning for a week of golfing and boy time, in which I’m sure they will eat, drink and be merry in abundance. And I will spend the time relaxing with my mother-in-law and my kids. Not having a schedule. Not having anywhere I have to be. Not having anything I have to do.

Today was my first unscheduled day and I found myself a little nervous. I didn’t really know what to do with myself. So I took a nap. Then I read a book while watching my kids play outside. Then I went to see a movie with my mother and sister-in-law. Now I’m squeezing in a bit of computer time before I go read some more.

And tomorrow will be more of the same. I’m nervous and excited. More excited than nervous, though…

So I will be reposting some of my favorite posts from the past couple of years this week, while sprinkling in new posts when I have the chance – just so I can have something up here. Enjoy your week, all! 🙂

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Random, summer fun Tagged With: Busy, Motherhood, Relaxation, Vacation

We Interrupt This Broadcast

April 27, 2010 by Kelli

Life is so busy and crazy right now that I seriously feel like I am suffocating. I can’t breathe. We only have a few weeks of school left and it can’t come soon enough in my opinion. I need a break. I’m sure two weeks into summer I’ll be begging for school to start again…

All that to say – I got nothin’ today. So I’m sending you over to Becke’s blog where you can read the post I wrote for her yesterday. It’s a post that I need to read myself today and I hope you will be encouraged by it, as I have been.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, shameless self-promotion Tagged With: Busy, Life, Motherhood