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Like Fish to Water…and other stuff

May 27, 2010 by Kelli

Yesterday was a big day in the life of the first born. He graduated.

Kindergarten, that is. I’ve never fully understood the point of kindergarten graduations to be honest, but if having a promotion ceremony means I get to watch 60 five and six year olds sing songs and beam with pride, then I’ll take it. Because it was awesome. I almost got a cavity from all the sweetness.

But here is my dilemma, oh internets. When I was three, I sang my first solo in church. It was Away in the Manger and I belted it out with pride. I have a vague memory of my dad standing at the bottom of the steps snapping a picture. By the time I was in Elementary School I was a performing addict. I would put plays on at my home making my brother suffer endlessly as he played a host of characters in my little productions. I loved drama (shocker, I know) and I loved singing on stage.

I was like a tiny Rachel Berry with a Wisconsin accent.

So how is it, my friends, that I have a child who is so terribly stage shy? Even more? He’s got a great voice, loads of personality and can feel the nuances and rhythms of music extremely well for a six year old. Yet every time he gets on stage he looks like this:

To his credit, he was one of four children who were asked to stand around the microphone for one song and he did it without bursting into tears. He didn’t sing his heart out, but he DID stand up there in front of the mic and I was thrilled. That was a big step for him and I almost clapped my hands raw.

I tried to upload the video but YouTube was being funky and I don’t have all day for it to load. I know you’re disappointed.

In celebration of the graduates accomplishment, I let him pick the restaurant for lunch – he chose Cheeburger, Cheeburger. So off we skipped to the mall, his graduation cap firmly placed on his head throughout the entire lunch. He is a first grader now.

How is it possible that I have a first grader?! Didn’t I just graduate college, like, yesterday?

My birthday’s coming up next week. That, combined with the fact that I have a first grader is causing a minor panic attack.

In addition to the commencement ceremony, we decided to hit the deck for the first time this year. The pool deck, that is. I’m so glad my kids love to swim. And they’re really good at it. They take to the water like little fish. And for the first time, I don’t have to be right in the water with them. I have to be close in case Landon’s float flips him over, but I don’t have to be in the water with kids hanging on me.

Which means I can sit on the side and work on my tan – because that’s what life is all about…gettin’ tan.

I kid. Don’t worry, I do watch my kids while they swim. While I’m getting a tan…

Sometimes I watch them through the lens:

This child is starting to look like a little man. Totally freaks me out.

I'm glad I sprung for the waterproof cast.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Motherhood, School, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: Kids swimming, kindergarten graduation, summertime

Wordless Wednesday: The Tooth Fairy is Going Broke

May 26, 2010 by Kelli

For those of you keeping track – okay, I’m probably the only one keeping track – Sloan has now lost six teeth. Two on the bottom and four on top. Every time he smiles I crack up a little.

For the record, she still has all her teeth. She wanted to show me.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: Kids losing teeth, Wordless Wednesday. Tooth Fairy

Live and Learn

May 25, 2010 by Kelli

I had a casual business meeting yesterday. It was at a St. Louis Bread Company so I decided rather than round up childcare for Landon and Tia, I’d just take them along. No big deal. They know how to behave in a restaurant.

Riiiight.

I’m not sure exactly when I determined that bringing them along was a bad idea. It might have been about the time that Landon started dipping his napkin in his cup. Or maybe it was when he poured his entire cup of water over his sandwich.

No, that wasn’t it.

It could have been the moment when they both crawled under the table and started peeking their eyes up over the edge and laughing hysterically. At that point I got a nagging feeling that this meeting wasn’t going as well as it could have.

I think the breaking point came when they spilled out from under the table and began wrestling on the floor. Right in the middle of the restaurant. Shrieking and laughing.

Yeah. That was it. That was the moment that I knew bringing them along had been a very. bad. idea.

Thankfully, the woman I was meeting was gracious, a mom herself, and had a great sense of humor. We might even be able to do a little work together.

Provided, of course, that I never bring my kids along again.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Motherhood, Tia Tagged With: Kids, Panera Bread, Working Mom

Let’s have a chat

May 20, 2010 by Kelli

This post is going to be a random conglomerate.

Landon got his permanent cast on yesterday. He picked a fiery red cast. They decided to cast him all the way up above his elbow even though the fracture was in his wrist. Otherwise he might be able to pull the cast off. I saw the X-Rays. He broke both the ulna and the radius just above the growth plate. We’re thankful the growth plate wasn’t affected at all!

He’s proud of his cast. And Steve the monkey got a cast too because his arm was hurt. So everyone is healing.

Tia seems to be a little jealous. She told me she wished she had a ‘puwple tast’ for her arm. Here she is pretending she has a cast like her brother. Landon’s trying to figure out how to navigate the world left handed. Watching him eat brings a smile to my face. Half the time he misses his mouth, the other half the time he shoves the fork down his throat.

Lee has found the silver lining in this whole broken wrist ordeal. “He’ll get tons of practice dribbling the ball left handed,” Lee said, his eyes getting all glassy and dreamy. So, you know, he’s got that going for him…

My kids, like all kids, wear me out daily with their constant fighting, whining, tattling and arguing. But it’s moments like this one that we had last night…

…that energize me and give me the strength to get through one more day. I am writing this at 7:48 in the morning and the kids are screaming at each other behind me. I keep looking at the picture to remind myself that there are sweet moments to look forward to.

Speaking of being energized, you can read my latest post over at 5 Minutes for Mom. It’s all about how I’m actually NOT supermom.

Tia had her last day of perschool yesterday. I’m so excited for summer break. I have all sorts of lofty goals and plans for the kids. We’ll see if I can stick with it or if I cave and let them watch TV all day long. Just kidding, I would never do that…

Lee and I started the P90X workout this week. I can’t move anything from my neck to my ankles without gasping in pain and I’m walking like a ninety year old woman with a hunchback. It’s intense but so far we’re enjoying it. Except for the Abs workout, which I’m fairly certain was developed by Lucifer himself. Seriously, if I cough or sneeze I have to hold onto something to offset the pain. Fun…

I had a whole paragraph (or two) written about the Arizona Immigration bill and my horror at the President’s audacity to stand up next to a foreign President and publicly call out another State. I’ll save you my rant, but will say that we are the United States of America. We don’t need a President who’s a man of all Countries. We need him to be the man of the People, which is what we elected him for.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Now I’m going to hobble my way to the bathroom to start getting ready for the day. I will attempt to brush my hair, but given that it hurts to raise my hands above my shoulders I may have to lay a hat down on the bed and shove my head into it…

Filed Under: Exercise, Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Life, Motherhood, politics, Random, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: Arizona Immigration bill, Childhood broken bones, random post

To Arkansas and Back

May 17, 2010 by Kelli

We spent a lovely, relaxing week in Arkansas last week where we kicked off our time celebrating the graduation of Lee’s youngest brother from the University of Central Arkansas. Zach was thirteen when I first met him. He was fourteen when Lee and I got married. And now he’s all grown up, has a job and is such a great guy. I’m so proud of him.

I’m getting verklempt. Talk amongst yaselves. I’ll give you a topic. The Partridge Family was neither a Partridge nor a family…discuss.

We heard rumors that Kris Allen (also a UCA alum) was at the graduation. Actually, it wasn’t a rumor – Zach’s girlfriend got stuck behind the mob of young fans wanting his autograph. I didn’t see him, though, and it’s too bad because I think he’s a doll. I would have stared. I’m not afraid to admit it.

My son is a goofball. Seriously, where does this kid get his over the top personality? Lee and I are so reserved and shy…

My sister-in-law, Becke’, photographer extraordinaire, sat down and gave me some great photo tips. I learned about ISO (they’re like worker bees. Trust me…), f-stop, shutter speed, and how the three work together to create the perfect exposure. I learned how to shoot in Manual mode and, while I need a lot of practice (I still can’t take a decent picture indoors) I came away taking better pictures from just one session. I’m telling you – Becke’s good.

(She is equally skilled, incidentally, at killing mutant Arkansas wasps that better resemble a hummingbird than a wasp using nothing but a Steno Pad and sheer force while others, who are less brave than she, look on. Don’t ask me how I know this.)

Flowers are the best practice subject. They have vibrant color, unique shape and they’re still while you take their picture. Not like my kids who are apparently allergic to sitting still.

See that blurry background? I set that! I determined how much blur I wanted (the f-stop, if you will) and adjusted my shutter speed and ISO to match. Me! Let’s all do the happy dance together, shall we?

Now I just want an editing software. I am hereby entering every contest I come across for Adobe Lightroom or Adobe Photoshop. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I need Lightroom or Photoshop, but my want is riiiiight on the border of a need.

Besides photo lessons and graduation, we enjoyed an abundance of family time. We ate out every night – and when I say every night, I mean every.single.night. My stomach is in rebellion. I’m on a bit of a detox today of dried fruit, water and green tea.

We watched the kids soak up as much cousin time as they possibly could. From putt-putt to Wii, those kids relished every moment together. I loved playing with my cousins growing up and have so many cousin memories, so I’m excited to see my kids building the same memories.

The lone girl. She held her own with all those boys, even trying to convince her older cousin that she had boy parts. We’re still trying to get her to understand that she is, indeed, actually a girl.

The baby of the family was so thrilled to be invited along with all the big kids that I thought he might actually jump out of his skin on the way to play golf.

Sam – the concentrator.

Cade – the sports nut. Feel the emotion.

Eli – the cut up.

Sloan – the one who’s here to have fun.

We are officially back to life, back to reality. But – glory! – school is almost over. Tia has three days left. Sloan has ten. I can’t wait for summer vacation.

How long do you think it will take for me to wish school would start up again?

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Landon, Life, Motherhood, School, Sloan, summer fun, Tia Tagged With: Arkansas, Kids, Lulu Photography, Motherhood

The Haircut Heard ‘Round the World – One Year Later

May 13, 2010 by Kelli

On May 13, 2009, my children successfully completed a rite of passage for childhood. They did it with reckless abandon and fully confident that what they were doing was brilliant. They were proud of this accomplishment.

But alas, their pride was short lived and shattered the minute I gasped, shrieked and cried, “NOOOOOOOO,” before bursting into tears.

The home done haircut. We all did it as kids. I cut my bangs to the scalp when I was five and my mom reacted with similar shock, horror and anger to mine this day last year. But you see – my kids, they never do anything small. Oh no – they go full in, balls to the walls, after life. It’s a quality that will serve them well in life.

Provided that neither one of them ever decides to become a hairdresser, of course…

I give you – the haircut: Before and After.

Before:

One year later:

Before:

Too bad the mullet is no longer in style

One year later:

Before:

Why couldn't he have done this on the other side?

One year later:

Before:

One year later:

In the midst of my grief last year, so many people were sweet enough to remind me that I would one day look back on that moment and laugh. They were right – I do. But I also still remember that horror and the heavy pit in my stomach. So while I may laugh, I also cringe.

For Sloan’s sake, however, I have lifted the ban on his usage of scissors. This time last year he was forbidden to use them until he was 104. So as you can see, I have come a long way…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Life, Motherhood, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: bad haircut, childhood rite of passage, Children cutting hair, Motherhood

Repost: Sometimes a kiss and a bandaid won’t do

May 11, 2010 by Kelli

This was originally posted in July, 2008 after Tia had lost her beloved Lovey Bear on our trip to SeaWorld. She was devastated, as was I. In fact, I think I cried more than she did. But alas, this story has a happy ending. I ended up tracking down not one, but TWO more Lovey Bears (for a pretty penny, I might add) and that ratty purple bear is still a staple in our home.

And when I say staple, I mean he goes where Tia goes, unless, of course, she drops him while she’s on the run, in which case I end up searching frantically for him. I think it’s safe to say I spend half my time looking for that blasted bear. Sometimes I wonder why I went to so much troublw to replace him…

I’ve pretty much given up hope on finding Tia’s lovey. I know I’ve been talking about this a lot, but it really has been an upsetting thing for her and for me. I spent a little time thinking about it last night because I have honestly fluctuated between crying over that silly bear and laughing at myself for getting so upset. It’s more than just the fact that we lost a little piece of Tia. That, of course, does make me so sad, but it goes beyond those emotions.

As parents, we work hard to fix our children’s problems – especially when they’re little and the problems are so easy to fix. You got a scrape? Let mommy kiss it – all better! You’re scared? Here, come snuggle with mommy. And so it goes…

The problems, in general, are just easier to fix during these young years. But now, suddenly, my daughter has a problem that I cannot fix for her. It’s relatively minor, of course, compared to the real tragedies that could happen. But in her little two year old mind, she is missing her best friend and I am unable to fix that for her. I can’t turn back the clock and look for lovey before we left the hotel. I can’t will him to appear. I can’t find another one on the internet. It’s the first time I’ve watched one of my kids face disappointment and it stinks!

My mom wisely told me the other day that this will not be the last time I have to sit back and watch my child hurt and know there’s nothing I can do to fix it. We are approaching the school days when the sharp, pointed barbs of another child’s words could potentially devastate one of my kids. That is a wound I cannot prevent and it will equally cut through my heart to see them suffer such disappointment. There will likely be some snot nosed little boy that will one day come along and break my daughter’s heart and I will have to sit back and let her be refined through that experience.

Although truth be told, if a boy comes along and makes her cry, he’ll have to be far more worried about her daddy than he will me…

There are so many disappointments to come, so many heartaches that mommy will not be able to kiss away. For now I will relish the thought that for the most part, I am their hero. I can fix their problems, but I am praying the Lord will give me the strength to handle the bigger disappointments to come because if I get this upset over a little bear, what will I do when something worse happens?

With time, Tia will slowly forget that little purple bear. Before long, his memory will exist to her only through pictures and the stories we tell. I, however, will probably always long to find her lovey bear. I imagine that for years to come, every time I pass a children’s section of a store, my eyes will automatically glance through the stuffed animals hanging up disply, looking and hoping to see lovey bear. Long after her affections have moved on to something else, my heart will still long to ease the pain of the few weeks when she longed for her friend, her comfort.

Am I obssesive, or is this just natural? I haven’t figured that one out yet.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Tia Tagged With: Animal Alley Purple Panda, Motherhood, Repost

We Were En Fuego

May 3, 2010 by Kelli

This weekend we:

Were feeling motivated and inspired so we took advantage of the rarity and tackled a few major yard projects. First, we took down the swing set, much to the kids dismay. They really loved playing on it, but after nearly five years we felt like it was getting a little old and unstable. Why did we feel that way? I think it was the fact that it shook perilously every time one or more children climbed on it…

We let the kids cross the monkey bars one last time before dismantling their beloved swing set.

After taking don the swing set, we decided that it would be nice to completely open up our backyard. And in order to do that, the chain link fence would need to go. So we took it down. And we are both wickedly sore after doing so. But the yard? Looks awesome.

Notice the dog in the corner who is now leashed to a tree. She is the only one not impressed with our hard work.

We also took advantage of the great weather and planted flowers. Have I mentioned that I love spring?

A few other weekend activities included:

– Lee and I attending the wedding of a friend. I was her counselor at a children’s camp when I was in high school. And she’s married now. I feel old…

– My sweet friend Lindsey (who is also sister to the above mentioned bride), and I went to visit with the man who forever altered the course of my life when I was fifteen and he took me on my first mission trip to the former Soviet Union. He is now battling a cancer that is extremely aggressive and is ravaging his body. For almost three hours we sat and talked with him, laughing, reminiscing and soaking up his wisdom. I would like to write more about Gary, but I need some time to process all that we discussed yesterday. But I would like to ask that you join me in praying for him and his family.

– Tia asked me to braid her hair so that she could look “woody pitty” for daddy. So I did. Then I took pictures.

– I cleaned the wall after Landon played Picasso.

What we did NOT do:

– Go to Sloan’s first baseball game due to muddy fields.

– Go to Tia’s soccer game due to lack of motivation.

What did you do and NOT do this weekend?

Filed Under: blast from the past, Family, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Landon, Lee, Life, Motherhood, Random, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: parenting, planting flowers, Springtime, weekend plans

Tia Tales: The Four Year Old Edition

April 14, 2010 by Kelli

She is part girl, part Tazmanian Devil. She is gregarious and passionate. Equal parts sugar and spice, she really is everything nice. And she is 100% a four year old, which means she lets loose with a few gems now and again.

Take, for instance, our trip to Target last week. As we run into the store (and when I say run, I mean run. This child rarely walks), she smacks right into one of those big, red, cement balls out front. And at a decible only a preschooler can create exclaims, “Ow! My penis!”

And the older couple in front of us turn in surprise then melt into laughter. And I wonder if I could possibly dig a hole in the ground and bury myself there…

She’s a happy girl who loves to dress up, but won’t let a dress stop her from having fun. In fact, I’m pretty certain you won’t find a messier child on planet earth. It’s probably a good thing we don’t have a little girl behind her, because I don’t know that I have a single outfit without a stain on it.

She’s also fearless. She will climb up and jump off of anything. Case in point, we were at a friends country home this weekend. They have a swing chained to a tree branch and it swings out over a hill so when you’re swinging forward, you’re much higher in the air than you expect to be.

My kids love to jump off swings. Sloan went first and in keeping with his thoughtful approach to life, he waited until he had slowed down a bit before jumping and rolling down the hill. Tia went next. In keeping with her fly by the seat approach to life, she jumped at the peak of her swing, which means that she was easily 6 feet in the air when she launched. Maybe more.

Lee and I had heart attacks and both yelped. She arced through the air as confident as could be and slammed to the ground. I was certain she broke both ankles, but she hopped up, turned around and gave us a look like Dude! I totally had that.

She takes delight in tormenting her brothers. De-light. Here she is spraying them with the hose. Despite the fact that Landon was screaming his head off, she chased him across the yard, spraying and grinning like the Cheshere Cat.

Then she tried to spray me.

I caught her putting on my make-up last night. She had on blue eye shadow, a LOT of blush and red lipstick. She looked like a little Vegas Showgirl. When I asked her what she was doing she gave me “the look” (the one that clearly says, Duh Mom…) and said, “I jus want to be woody (really) pitty for Daddy.”

I caught her taking a swig out of the Infant Tylenol bottle yesterday. Fun times. She didn’t get but a sip, but I made sure she understood how dangerous it was to drink medicine. She shrugged her shoulders and said, “Yes Ma’am, I undewstand…but I still woody, woody fink I need medicine.”

“Why do you need medicine?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I just fought if I said dat you would give me some.”

She is my girl and, my goodness, I am madly in love with her. Even if I am fairly certain she is conspiring to make sure I age at hyperspeed.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Tia Tagged With: Funny things kids say, kids say the darndest things, Tia

The Zoo

April 6, 2010 by Kelli

Tia had school yesterday – Sloan did not. So I went back and forth about whether or not we should go to the Zoo after Tia went to school or whether she should just skip school and we could go in the morning.

I decided that it wouldn’t kill her to miss a day of preschool, so we headed out to the Zoo around 8:30 yesterday morning. Best. decision. ever. The Zoo was virtually empty when we arrived, which is a good thing when you have three kids who all like to run in different directions.

By 12:15 when we left, however, the Zoo was…well – a zoo! I knew it was time to leave when every time I turned around to check on Landon (who insists on walking about 15 paces behind us at all freaking times) he was out of my line of sight due to being swept up in large groups of people. After my third heart attack, I decided to call it a day.

So we bopped out of the park and jumped in our car, which was parked right up front and headed out past the endless line of cars waiting to park.