Marriage | Page 5 | Minivans Are Hot

Happy Birthday to the Hottest 35 Year Old I Know

September 24, 2009 by Kelli

Ten years ago today, Lee and I were in the beginning days of our courtship. As we picked up a cake to take to the K-Life house where he lived and worked, I boldly proclaimed, “Wow! You’re half a decade old today!”

I was a Professional Writing major folks…a Writing major.

Despite my horrible blonde blunder, Lee still married me. And I’m so glad he did. I’m so glad we’re growing older together. I know, I know…35 isn’t old. But it is older.

I love you, Lee. And yes, you absolutely looked wiser upon waking this morning. 35 looks good on you!

Filed Under: Family, Life, Marriage, Random

Salsa – Chips Optional

September 21, 2009 by Kelli

Saturday night Lee and I hit the town for a rare and necessary date night. We hired a babysitter like big kids, got all dolled up (little black dress, rockin’ red high heels and a smokey eye completed my ensemble – I felt like a rock star!) and headed to the Central West End, where we reminded ourselves once again just how far removed we are from college.

After a quick dinner, we headed to the basement dance club, Club Viva! where we took an hour long Salsa lesson before they opened up the floor. It was nothing short of a blast.

I should preface this by telling you that I love to go dancing. It was one of my very favorite things to do in college and I would go dancing every weekend if we could. Lee, however, over the years has decided that he’s not crazy about going to dance clubs anymore. I’ve had to practically beg him to take me, and somehow, since we’ve been married, we’ve only made it out dancing twice.

And both experiences were, uh, not great. The first, when I was roughly 18 months pregnant with Sloan and I thought a little dancing might be good to get things kick-started, left Lee worried I’d have a baby on the dance floor, so he refused to dance with me and I spent an hour dancing with an adorable mentally challenged boy who kept trying to kiss me – I swear, I couldn’t make this stuff up.

The second time was spring break in Florida right after I found out I was pregnant with Tia. When the girls started licking shots off of one another’s bodies on stage, Lee and I quickly realized we were out of our league and left.

Thus, when he said he wanted to take me dancing – I was thrilled…and a little nervous.

So, we found ourselves in a line with a few other brave souls where a little Columbian man show us how to shimmy and shake our hips. And, I gotta say, Lee and I weren’t half bad. I mean, I’m no Shakira, but I got my hips swinging back and forth without completely falling all over myself – and considering I was in 3 inch heels, I’d say I deserve a medal.

At one point I did look over and see Lee doing the Electric Slide, which caused me to keel over in a peal of laughter, but otherwise, we were rockin’ the joint.

1, 2, 3 (pause) 5, 6, 7 (pause) These are the counts for the salsa. Apparently the numbers 4 and 8 are taboo – you just skip them. Now, stand up and step forward 1 on your left foot, then step back 2, on your right foot, then step back 3 on your left? Got it? Did you swing your hips? You’re set then!

After the lesson, the dance floor was opened up and the real dancers came out. Those girls knew how to swing their hips! Lee and I got out on the floor and with our limited knowledge let loose with the meanest beginner salsa you’ve ever seen. It was awe-inspiring.

Upon taking a break and letting my screaming feet rest, a young, adorable latin dancer named Vinnie asked me to dance. Lee laughed and pushed me toward the danced floor while I stammered, “Uh…I’m not…ya know…very good.”

“S’Ok,” Vinne shrugged, then started girating his hips back and forth and spinning me around. I felt like Baby in Dirty Dancing (“I carried a watermelon”). My arms flailed about, my feet tapped danced more than salsa’ed and, at one point, I threw in a rather impressive arabesque. But, through it all, my hips shook like a professional.

I think Vinnie liked it as he asked me to dance two more times. Either that or he felt sorry for me and was hoping to give me some pointers to keep me from making a total fool of myself. Actually, it’s been a long time since I danced with a strange college boy and I kept trying to tuck my hand into Lee’s arm to show that I was taken, but my darling husband refused to let me turn down an offer to dance.

Punk.

He stood on the sidelines and laughed as I danced with not only Vinnie, but the tiniest little Columbian man I’ve ever seen. He was adorable, sweet and about 65 years old. At one point, he grabbed my hips and moved them back and forth to the rhythm.

Aaaaaaawkwaaaard.

But so much fun. Lee and I partied like rock stars until we looked at his watch and realized it was going to cost a a small fortune to pay the babysitter for our night out.

And so, like the thirty-somethings that we are, we hobbled out of Club Viva! But, we both vowed that we would return, because it really was one of the most enjoyable evenings we’ve had in a long time.

And my hips don’t lie…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Marriage, Random Tagged With: Club Viva

A Party in the Heavenlies

September 9, 2009 by Kelli

I don’t usually post twice in one day, and I certainly don’t have time to be doing this right now, but I can’t resist. Sloan accepted Jesus as his Savior today. And my heart is filled with all measure of joy.

When Sloan got off the school bus this morning, I could immediately tell we were in for a rough afternoon. He was just grouchy. And it took no time at all for him to end up in his room where he proceeded to throw a lovely little tantrum.

By the time lunch was over and the little kids were in bed, I was fried. I was completely done and fed up and I still had to discipline my very angry boy. After Sloan and I both calmed down, we sat to talk about his behavior. Sloan told me he was sorry and that he wished he would act better and he didn’t know why he did that.

“I know I shouldn’t yell and scream. Why do I do that?”

So we talked a little about sin and how our sin separates us from God. Then I explained to him that God gave us all forgiveness through his death on the cross, and when we acknowledge Jesus as our Savior and believe that He rose again and accepts us as we are, we can have eternal life.

We also talked about how we can pray and ask God to help us behave in a way that honors Him and in the way that we know is right.

After all this, Sloan asked me how he could ask Jesus into his heart, and he and I prayed together. And, I mean to tell you, the heavens themselves cracked open and splayed forth a song of praise within my heart.

I’ve prayed for a long time that my children would know God and that they would desire to grow in faith. I’ve also prayed that either Lee or I would be the ones to lead them to salvation. I wanted to be the one to rejoice with my child in that moment. I’m so grateful for this experience today.

Now, I realize that he’s only six and that there will be plenty more tantrums and discipline issues to come. I don’t expect him to fully understand this decision. But, I do believe that this is the start of his walk in his Christian faith. This is the moment when he grasped it with the faith of a child. As he matures, he will have to learn to make the faith that Lee and I impart to him his own.

But for now, I rejoice in the knowledge that my deepest longing for my child has come to fruition. It’s a beautiful moment.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Marriage, Ministry, Motherhood, Sloan

Nine Years

July 22, 2009 by Kelli

To a man who constantly makes me laugh, makes me wonder, loves me well and is making all my dreams come true, I say Happy Anniversary.

This was us then:

July 22, 2000

Honeymoon in Orcas Island off the coast of Seattle

Awwww...Ferrying to Victoria, British Columibia

Awwww...Ferrying to Victoria, British Columbia

And here we are now:

Sadly, I could not find a single recent picture of just the two of us - but given that our greatest accomplishment as a married couple are these three kids, I found this shot fitting...

It hasn’t always been easy, but truth be told, it hasn’t been that hard. God has blessed our marriage beyond my wildest dreams.

Lee, I love you.

And I look forward to the next 51 years, 4 months, 22 days +…

Filed Under: Family, Life, Marriage

Yankee Doodle Went to Town

July 6, 2009 by Kelli

I sang that song to Sloan this morning. His response?

“Why would someone call a feather macaroni? That’s a weird song.”

He then returned to his ever running loop of humming the theme to Star Wars. So much for teaching him a little piece of Americana.

We had a lovely Fourth of July. But it was missing something. Lee had to fly to Arkansas last minute for the funeral of one of his dearest friends growing up. Not having daddy around definately put a damper on our holiday spirits. And knowing that my husband was grieving and hurting and I couldn’t be there with him made it even worse.

I have to say, I love Fourth of the July. I love the way that it brings everyone together. I love the smell of barbeque, the laughter, the music and the fireworks. I love watching kids run around with Sparklers (other people’s kids – not mine because I don’t quite trust my little piro’s just yet) and I love to hear their delighted shreaks as the sky explodes in flashes of color.

This year, I took the kids to a local park where we enjoyed the company of good friends and ooh’d and aah’d at the fireworks. I was a bit of a kill joy for the kids because I didn’t bring any cash, which means they couldn’t get a drink or a snack or a glow stick or anything at all. Mooooooommmm! (as you read that, let your voice go up about three octaves and stamp your foot and you’ll get an idea of just. how. traumitized the kids were at my lack of preparation.)

We didn’t get home until 10:30, at which point I had to throw the kids in the shower because they smelled like gun powder and mosquito spray. This resulted in us oversleeping Sunday morning. I was singing in church and had to be there at 7:45. I woke up to a quiet house at 7:30. I walked into the church building at 8:05, with all three kids dressed.

I deserve a medal. I nice, shiny medal.

Of course, those 35 minutes went something like this (clap your hands together loudly and repeatedly as you read this next paragraph out loud) – C’mon guys, get dressed. Let’s Go, Go, Go. We’ll brush your teeth after church. I know you’re hungry, I’ll get you something to eat later. There’s no time for a drink, we have to go now, now, now! And so on…

But we made it. And at 8:40, Lee came to church after flying in on the 6:30 am flight. And he brought my starving, neglected children some food. As the kids saw their daddy walk in the building, they took off running toward him and nearly knocked him over as they tackled him. I was on stage with a microphone in my hand and a lump in my throat as I watched them all take turns kissing and hugging on their daddy.

It was the perfect end to a good weekend. I’m a blessed woman.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Marriage, Motherhood Tagged With: Fourth of July, Yankee Doodle Went to Town

To the Fathers in My Life

June 21, 2009 by Kelli

I am blessed. I have been surrounded by wonderful men my entire life. I’ve often thought that the reason that I’m just an okay writer and not a spectacular write is because I don’t have daddy issues. The greatest writer’s all have so much angst, such heartache, and, often (not always, I know) they have severe daddy issues.

Not me. And I’m okay with that. Here are a few of the fathers in my life:

1.) My own father. He’s a man of God. He loves my mom and alway spanish-wells-011 s has. He loves me unconditionally. He is there for me at the drop of a hat whenever I need anything. He’s my biggest supporter.

My dad is a great man. He is extremely wise – more so than I think he knows. He’s funny, sometimes in a sick and twisted way, but funny nonetheless.

A few years ago, Lee and I came home from a trip to the condo and were watching back the video we took. While on the beach one day, my dad took the camera so we could all be in the video. Suddenly, a very pretty girl in a very skimpy bikini filled our screen along with my dad’s voice. “Here you go, Lee,” he said. “A vacation memory just for you…” At which point my mom broke in, “Richard!” The screen jumps. “What?” my dad asks, all innocent like. “You’re supposed to be taping the baby.” My dad laughs, “Oh yeah…” And the screen focuses on Sloan once more. HA!

My dad was a hands on dad. I hardly remember a big occasion that he didn’t attend. I know there had to be some, because he travelled a bit when we were kids, but I don’t ever remember a time when I felt let down or disappointed by dad. And I’m grateful for that.

I love you dad. Enjoy your new toy and I’ll see you soon :).

2.) My father-in-law, Herb. A man who many people find intimidating but who I know is nothing but a big teddy bear. Herb is also full of wisdom and I’m always grat sledding-at-vlasis-045 eful for the moments when we can sit and talk with him.

When I first met Herb, I was a 20 year old college kid who was just trying get in good with the family of the guy I had a crush on. I fell equally in love with Lee’s family. I lived with his parents for the summer before my senior year of college. I’m so grateful for those weeks I spent in their home as it gave me a true appreciateion for my future father-in-law.

I love you, Herb. I’m grateful to you for the wisdom you impart to us as a couple and individually to Lee. Have a great Father’s Day!

3.) Last, but most certainly not least, I am thankful for my own dear husband – the father of my children. A man who loves and supports me, who leads our family with the great wisdom that he gleaned from his father.

Lee was created to be a dad. He’s just so good at it! He’s is a phenomenal father and it’s evident in the way that his kids adore him. He plays with them tirelessly, he reads to them, disciplines them, loves them and laughs with them. He models Christ to them and teaches them of God’s love. He is a wonderful leader of our home and I pray that the kids all grow up to appreciate who their father is.

Here is short video of Lee in action. The other night at bedtime, the kids wanted to read Puff the Magic Dragon, then they wanted to sing along to the CD. Can you see why I love this man?

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Marriage, Uncategorized Tagged With: fathers day

He’s Not Always This Cool

June 19, 2009 by Kelli

Last night Lee and I went to the Grand Opening of Shock City Studios, an amazing, state of the art recording and film editing studio owned and operated by Chris Loesch and parters. Chris is married to Dana, my blogging guru and co-board member of the St. Louis Blogger’s Guild.

Lee and I were beyond impressed at the set up they have going on at Shock City. I’ve been there several times due to the fact that Chris graciously donates us free space to conduct guild meetings in their building, but I had never seen the recording booths, sound room and editing room. I was seriously in awe.

Recently, Shock City was named one of the top 16 new studios in the world by Mix Magazine, and after last night, I can see why. It is a mighty impressive place and all involved in bringing that dream to fruition have every right to be very proud.

Because we were so close to downtown and I was wearing a kicky little dress that’s a wee bit short, which means I don’t get to wear it often, we decided to head toward the Arch and get a bite to eat. Only neither of us were hungry so we drove around for a bit and finally settled on Lumiere Place, a huge Casino and hotel.

We tried our hand at the slots and after losing 10 bucks decided that gambling just isn’t for us and headed to a snappy little bar for a nightcap. But we still weren’t hungry nor did we really feel like spending another 10 dollars per drink on cocktails so we finally just decided to head home.

As we stood up, Lee caught his foot on the edge of the table and started to fall. Do you know what happens to a 6 foot 2 inch man who starts to fall and can’t get his footing? Yeah, he just keeps going.

He finally managed to get his feet underneath him, but his head was pitched so far forward that he stumbled to the right, slammed into a table and steadied himself on all fours for a moment before popping back up, all the while splaying menus this way and that.

And what does a sweet wife do when her husband falls on his face in public? Does she: A) Lovingly pick him up, brush him off and tend to his wounded pride? B) Continue walking at a brisk pace in the hopes that people don’t know she is with him? C) Ask him if he’s okay, then burst into hearty laughter?

Okay, the answer is C (isn’t that always the answer?). Though options A and B did cross my mind. I did make sure he wasn’t hurt before I cracked up. As he handed the now destroyed menus to the waitress, who I’m pretty sure thought he was hammered, he said, “Don’t worry – I’m not always this cool.”

I love that man…

Head over to 5 Minutes for Giveaways to read the review I wrote up and enter to win a wooden pirate ship!

And stay tuned. Even though I’ll be gone next week, I am planning on having a few posts scheduled ahead of time for your reading enjoyment.

You’re welcome…

Filed Under: Blogging, funny stuff that happens, Marriage Tagged With: lumiere place, mix magazine, shock city

The Day We Became Heretics

June 11, 2009 by Kelli

*This story has been edited slightly to add the facts that my friend Sveta left in the comments. Thanks Sveta!

So, I promised to tell you the story of Lee kissing the cross in a Ukrainian Orthodox church. And here it is:

When I was pregnant with Sloan I spent a month in Ukraine researching a book that I was working on. While there, I spoke with a handful of World War II veterans, but I didn’t get all the information that I wanted or needed. At this point I already had a publisher lined up for the book so I felt a lot of pressure to complete it before the baby came.

So I began contacting people here in St. Louis who might be able to connect me with more veterans that I could speak with. One of those people was a Ukrainian-American man who was a parishoner at a local Ukrainian Orthodox church. He invited Lee and I to visit the church and told us that after it was over we could speak with some of the older people in attendance.

So Lee and I scheduled a visit to the Ukrainian Orthodox church of St. Louis. At this point I was great with child. And I had reached the status of beached whale.

Whenever I mention my enormity in my first pregnancy, people so sweetly roll their eyes and say “Whatever, I bet you were adorable,” and other really nice things.

I’m here to tell you that I’m not exaggerating. Sloan was 9 lbs. 3 oz. and I carried him all out front. I was humongous. And here is a picture to prove it…

random-001 See? G-R-E-A-T with child…

So one Sunday morning, I waddled myself into a small church building with my very crazy supportive husband at my side. Determined not to make an enormous spectacle of ourselves, we sat in the little cry room in the back. It was dark in the room and there was a large window that looked into the sanctuary where we watched the service with fascination.

The entire service was conducted in Ukrainian and if you didn’t know, Ukrainian and Russian are not the same. So we had no idea what was going on and I’m pretty sure we both fought hard not to doze off. There was another woman in the room with us and she actually had a baby so we tried to look attentive so as not to offend.

It was a very surreal experience. In all my visits to Ukraine, I had only ever been to one Orthodox service and I only stayed for a few minutes, then left because I felt extremely out of place. Seeing all the pomp and circumstance that went into the service was very interesting. I really wished I understood what they were saying.

At the end of the service, the priest (are they called priest’s? I’m not sure) batyushka – the guy in the robe and headdress – walked through the church with a large cross held out in front of him. He stopped at the end of each pew and let everyone offer a simple prayer, after which they leaned forward and kissed the cross. They also kissed his hand, which is a part of this story I had forgotten until Sveta reminded me.

As I watched this, I prayed silently that he would not come to the cry room because I had no intention of kissing that cross. Not only did I not understand why I would be kissing it, but there were a lot of strange lips that were landing on that cross and I really didn’t want to swap germs with all of them…

Much to my dismay, however, the batyushka made it to the cry room where my heart was now beating very quickly. What to do? The woman with the baby murmured a few words in Ukrainian, then leaned forward and kissed the wooden cross and the batyushka’s hand. Then he turned to us.

Lee, the consumate Baptist, stood up and reached his hand out to try and shake the priest’s batyushka’s hand. Instead, the small man furrowed his brow and thrust the cross in Lee’s face. Lee bobbed his head for a few seconds like a drunk hummingbird, trying to avoid the inevitable. But he finally took a deep breath, puckered up and kissed the cross.

And then I kissed it. Because I didn’t know how to avoid it and my husband had already paved the way for me. As soon as the priest batyuska left, Lee and I lost it. We could not stop laughing – the whole situation was just so comical. And as I belly laughed, my gigantic midsection bounced up and down, which made us laugh harder. The woman in the room glared at us and left abruptly.

And thus ended our experience in the Ukrainian Orthodox church. Incidentally, I ended up not really getting any good contacts out of them after all. When we attended the banquet after church, no one seemed interested in talking, so it was a wash.

Well, except for the memory, which is now one of my favorites.

And now you know the story of Lee kissing a cross.

The end.

Filed Under: blast from the past, funny stuff that happens, Marriage Tagged With: Ukrainian Orthodox church

The Lotus in a Field of Mud

June 9, 2009 by Kelli

I took a yoga/pilates class at the gym last week. Why? Hard to say…I think I’m a glutton for punishment. Actually, the yoga/pilates class wasn’t nearly as difficult as the yoga class I took on Saturday, which kicked my butt.

Seriously, my butt was sore for days…

At the end of the class, after we’d taken our short nap and aligned our breathing with our heart center (huh?) we sat up, hands clasped at our hearts and the instructor, in a vibrating alto of a voice, said, “May we all shine like the lotus in a field of mud. Namaste.” At which point she bowed low. While everyone else bowed back, I stifled a giggle because really? What does that even mean?

And I had an immediate flashback to my honeymoon when my brand new husband and I decided to try our very first yoga class together. We were at an amazing spa and resort off the coast of Seattle. It was very earthy and granola. Yoga just seemed like the thing to do there.

So we arrived promptly at 9:00am on the second day of our honeymoon and we met our instructor, whose name I don’t remember but in my imagination I call her Celeste, because it seems to fit the picture I have.

She was probably in her early fifties and had long, matted hair – very hippie. She didn’t wear a lick of makeup and looked as if she had sworn off bra’s around 1965.

To put it mildly, she was…an odd bird.

We got inside the small yoga room where she lit incense and turned on warbling music that immediately made me feel like Dorothy in the field of poppys. It suddenly dawned on Lee and I that we were the only two people in the room with Celeste. We looked at each other and giggled.

Then we began the workout. “Take in deep breaths,” Celeste stage-whispered over the drowsy music, “And align your spirit with the stars of the universe.”

At this point I opened one eye and looked over at Lee who had his hands at his side and a look of horror on his face. “What is this?” he mouthed to me. I shrugged and stifled another giggle, then went about trying to align my spirit with the stars. I’m pretty sure I never accomplished that task.

Fifteen minutes into our private yoga class, Celeste finally pushed Lee too far. Mind you, this was our first experiece with Up-Dogs and Down-Dogs. We’d never heard the words “Shatacharasana” or “Chutitutunga.”

I’m pretty sure those aren’t actually yoga terms, but it’s what I hear when the instructors speak. It’s all very confusing…

Aaaanyhoo, Celeste was leading us in our first Cobra. A pose which requires you to keep your lower abs on the floor and push your shoulders up and back. As we scooped forward, Celeste, who up until this moment had been whispering all her instructions with great reverenece, burst out in a deep voice, “BEEEE THE COBRAAAAA.” And she thrust herself upward.

After I swallowed my heart, which had leapt into my throat, I laughed out loud. I couldn’t stifle it. But Celeste was so well aligned with the stars that she didn’t even hear me.

I looked at Lee who was standing up and rolling up his mat. “I’m leaving,” he whispered. “This is weird.”

“You can’t,” I mouthed. “We’re the only ones in here.”

He shrugged, then walked out. My husband of 48 hours abandoned me in a room with Celeste the yoga nazi.

I didn’t want to leave because I was afraid that we would bump into her somewhere on the grounds of the resort and she would know that we were the people that bailed on her class and place some kind of star-powered yoga hex on us. So I stuck it out. I did the tree with Celeste. I balanced on my elbows with Celeste. I did a shoulder stand with Celeste. I became one with the cobra with Celeste. And all the while I cursed my darling husband for leaving me to suffer alone.

That was only the start of the many, many bizarre situations that Lee and I have managed to get ourselves into in our nearly nine years of marriage. We have definately seized the day in our married lives. I’m so glad I married someone who isn’t afraid to try new things. And I’m pleased to say that he hasn’t abandoned me in an awkward situation ever again. Thankyouverymuch.

(Soon, I’ll tell you about the time we visited a Ukrainian Orthodox church here in St. Louis and Lee kissed a cross. Classic…)

And now, every once in awhile when we’re sitting quietly, one of us will burst out with “BEEEE THE COBRAAAA!”

Now if I could only figure out how on earth to be a lotus…

Filed Under: blast from the past, funny stuff that happens, Marriage Tagged With: rosario resort, yoga, yoga/pilates

Love and Respect

June 3, 2009 by Kelli

Okay, I’m coming out with it. I watch Jon and Kate + 8. I always feel like I need to apologize for myself when I admit to getting sucked into the mindless world of reality TV. And while I’m confessing I might as well let you know that the other reality show I watch (not regularly because Lee won’t let me ) is America’s Next Top Model. There – now you know. My dirty little secrets…

Anywhoo, moving on (blush) Considering that nearly 10 million people tuned into Jon and Kate last week, I figure I’m not alone in my obsession with the show. I’ve watched them for a couple of years now and have really enjoyed the show…until the last two weeks.

Now I’m just sad. It makes me sad to watch them. I’ve always been slightly uncomfortable with the way that they speak with one another on the show, but before last season it seemed kind of cute and real – it was more banter. But beginning last season, the banter became excessive and I became uncomfortable.

Here are a few thoughts I have regarding marriage that Jon and Kate have solidified for me:

Two years ago, Lee and I went through a study with our small group called Love and Respect. If you’ve never heard of this study or the couple who wrote it, I highly recommend you check it out.

The whole premise behind their concept is that in order for a marriage to be healthy and stable, two things need to happen: A woman needs to respect her husband and a man needs to love his wife. It seems simple doesn’t it?

Then why is it so hard?

This has always, in my opinion, been what’s wrong with Jon and Kate’s marriage. Kate shows little to no respect for her husband. She orders him around and he, like a well trained puppy, complies with eyes rolled and shoulders slouched. I almost cried in one episode a couple of years ago when Kate told one of her sons not to listen to daddy because “he’s mean.”

I’m a firm believer in women esteeming her husband in front of others, especially her children. Kate does not do this, and it is a problem. A big one.

Now Jon, on the other hand, has rarely shown Kate love, at least not while the cameras were rolling. This can be a tricky thing, because everyone needs love communicated to them differently. But, if you’ve watched the show for any amount of time, it’s pretty clear to see that Kate’s love language is acts of service. If Jon were to get up and do anything without being asked first – and done to the caliber that his wife desires (which I agree may be unattainable in some cases), he would communicate love to her in volumes. The rare times when he seemed to please her were when he did just this. Oh, and Jon? The attitude with which you volunteer your service makes a big difference. Just sayin’….

Without respect from his wife, a man won’t love her well and without love from her husband, a woman won’t respect him well, and thus goes the vicious cycle.

Now, whether or not a man has been well respected does not at all give him grounds to cheat on his wife. I do think Kate is getting slammed by the media a bit unfairly. And I’m not saying that I believe Jon had an affair – at least not physically. But c’mon – getting caught alone in the middle of the night with a 23 year old? Doesn’t look good, dude.

But it all started with this lack of love and respect. And I find that so sad. It’s sad for their kids, it’s sad for Jon and Kate, and it’s sad for the institution of marriage.

Jon and Kate need to reprioritize. They need to grow up, get it together and repair their family. And I’m with 90% of America in thinking that the best way to do that would be to turn the cameras off. I was struck by how often they both said that everything they do is “for the kids.” Um, that’s another topic for another day, but clearly the kid’s-focused life they’re trying to build is not working out for them. There’s no stability as a couple when everything you do revolves around the children. None.

Also, they’ve both said there’s nothing more important in life than family. Well, Jon, your wife is your family – and Kate, your husband is your family. You were each other’s family long before the kids came around. How did that get lost?

Anyway, those were some thoughts I’ve had. It’s nothing new – nothing that no one else has said, but it felt important to document. Jon and Kate claim to be Christians, and I don’t doubt the sincerity of that claim, but if it’s true, then they need to seek godly counsel to help remind them that first and foremost needs to be their relationships with God; second are their relationships with one another; and finally, their kids. That is a healthy marriage. It’s not easy – especially with eight kids and a camera crew. But it is attainable.

If you are struggling in your marriage or are just looking for something to help strengthen your relationship, I highly recommend Love and Respect. They hold conferences nationwide, they have a DVD series that’s excellent, plus numerous books and resources that you can find on their website. Check it out and join me in praying for this reality family that is facing a very harsh reality.

Filed Under: Family, Marriage, the boob tube Tagged With: Jon and Kate + 8