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Signs

July 27, 2011 by

We rolled into Florida today, my smokin’ hot minivan dragging a bit under the weight of all the life shoved inside.  It has been an emotional roller coaster, this trip into town.  Of course any move is fraught with emotion.  Change hurts.  It’s hard.  Tears must be shed in order to cleanse the soul of the fire that rages in your heart.

As we talked today on our second day of driving, we discussed the Why. Why did we make this move?  What purpose did God have in picking our family up out of everything comfortable and placing us smack dab in the middle of the unknown.  For all practical purposes, this is our wilderness.  Albeit a wilderness with a beach (the best kind), but nonetheless this is our journey.

Why are we here?

Suddenly the reasons for the move become clouded beneath the emotion.  Did we make the right choice?  Was this really the path we were supposed to take?  Did we somehow misread the signs?  Were we instead chasing our own desires, or own passions?

Why?

While at my in-laws this past weekend, we had the blessing of soaking in their wisdom for several days straight.  One thing my father-in-law (one of the three wisest men in my life, my dad and my husband rounding out the trio) said to us has really stuck with me.

“What makes you think,” he said in his thick Arkansas drawl, “that you had anything at all to do with this decision?  It was God who moved you in this direction.  Don’t forget that God is in full control.  When you are seeking Him, you’re not going to make a mistake.”

What freedom that gave us.  And what a wonderful lesson on which to dwell.  Who are we to question the will of God?  There were times when doubt caused us to wonder if, perhaps, we should scrap the plan all together – flee back to St. Louis.  It’s peaceful there, simple.  We know it.  We know what we can and need to do there to stay comfortable.

But then what?  Comfort is boring.  As we drove today, the Cyprus and Palm trees buzzing by our windows, I held a book in my lap.  “Reading the same page of a book over and over is boring,” I told Lee.  “You have to turn the page to see what’s going to happen next in the story.”

We turned the page when we left St. Louis.  Not that staying there would have meant our story stagnated, but ignoring God’s call and being unwilling to face something new would have been extremely boring.  To live life wondering “what if we had?” would be a terrible burden to bear.  And even on our trip, the Lord gave us little signs that we are on the right path – we are continuing our story.

Lee was given the opportunity to fly up to Arkansas to be with his family and to help us drive down here.  An unexpected blessing and something we didn’t know we needed.  Lee got a very encouraging call from his manager.  It was unexpected and unprompted.  And the words spoken and messages exchanged were a balm to the soul.

As we lay in our frigid hotel room last night, everyone slowly drifting to sleep, Sloan hopped up out of bed and came over to Lee and I.  “I have something for you,” he said, the freckles on his nose dancing in the golden lamp light.  He pulled two silly bands off his arm.  They were shaped like palm trees.  “These are to help you remember that we used to live in St. Louis, but now we live in Florida.”

How did he know that was the exact thing tearing at our hearts?  We hadn’t spoken of our fears and heartache in front of him.

When we pulled out of the hotel parking lot this morning, the kids screeched and pointed at a beautiful rainbow painted across the gray sky.  God’s promises never fail.  He is still the same.  All of these signs worked together to provide a bit of comfort as we continued to haul our lives southward.  Nothing about this move has been easy.  A part of me feels a bit like a spoiled brat who’s finally been given what she wanted, but it’s not enough.

“I want it MY way.”  Foot stomp.

I want comfort and stability.  I want the perfect house.  I want it easy and fun.  I want friends.  I want, I want, I want…

The new goal is to take my eyes off of what I want.  Together Lee and I are changing our focus.  We’re turning the page.  We want to know what’s going to happen next.  And we want to know what part we get to play in it.  To His glory.  Arms stretched out wide, palms open, dancing in the rain.  What’s next?  And how do we keep our eyes pointed up?  Not looking backward and definately not staring inward.

Not about us.

What’s next to His glory?

This is really hard.  Really, really hard.  As my sister-in-law told us the other night – this is a threshing.  It’s a step into the Refiner’s Fire.  The selfishness that has pervaded our souls for a long time needs to be burned away.  There is nothing fun about that.  Nothing at all.  We are feeling vulnerable and the only refuge is God Himself.  To seek any other would be foolish.  There is no hiding – not even St. Louis could shelter us from the need to change these deepest parts.

Join us as we step forward in faith, our hearts open to what He wants and longs for us.  And we would like to join you in whatever journey you might be on.  What does a next step look like for you? Because we’re all on a different journey. How can we pray for you?  What would stepping out of comfort look like for you?  Who can you serve?  What can you do to step outside of what you know?  Or, if you’re already doing that, what are you learning?  If you would like to share or ask for prayer, please feel free to comment and we can all join together.  Or send me an email (kellistuart00 (at) hotmail (dot) com) and I will be happy to lift you up as you turn your face up.

Let’s dance in the rain together.

Blessings.

Filed Under: faith, Family, Florida, Life, Minivans, Moving Tagged With: , , ,

The In-Between

July 24, 2011 by

He didn’t want to try it. Fear prevented him from true joy, from enjoying to the fullest that which stood before him. The vibrant blue waters of the pool were enticing and he tasted the joy when he stepped into the water.

But fear held him back.

He couldn’t bring himself to put his face in the water. The fear of the unknown was too much and so he simply watched in longing. Every once in awhile he put his chin beneath the surface, delighted to feel the cool water – such a contrast to the blazing heat of the sun. If, by accident, water splashed into his eyes he cried and dashed for a towel, wiping it away before realizing how refreshing it could actually be.

I wondered if he would ever overcome this fear. I wondered if he would ever experience the miracle and joy that comes with taking the plunge and diving beneath the surface. I wondered if he would ever realize that conquering fear leads to freedom.

And then one day he did it. He stepped off the edge and took a leap of faith. Faith that he wouldn’t sink, but would indeed return to the surface as promised. Faith that fun awaited if he just took a chance. And do you know what happened?

Photo courtesy of my sister-in-law, Becke'

Inexplicable Joy.  Freedom. And he hasn’t looked back.

We’re stuck in the in-between right now.  We’re in Arkansas for a week visiting family, which simply feels like any other vacation.  I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that we won’t be going back to St. Louis from here.

We head to Clearwater to stay in my parent’s condo until we either find a house or decide to rent.  That, too, will feel like a familiar vacation, which in the past has always ended in us returning home.  But Florida is home now.  It doesn’t feel that way yet, but that’s what it is.

Mark Twain once wrote, “Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.” I so hope for miracles as we make this move.  What does a miracle look like?  I don’t know.  Maybe it will be something big and measurable.  Maybe it will be something that can’t be seen but only felt…realized only upon looking backward after time has propelled us past this unsure moment.

Maybe the miracle is our willingness to take the plunge – to face our fear of change and dip our head beneath the cool waters of the unknown.  We would have been fine splashing in the waters of familiarity, but then we might have missed out on the joy and freedom that comes from taking a plunge beneath the surface.

Maybe the miracle will be my children suddenly waking up each morning with smiles on their faces and nothing but kindness on their lips.  Maybe the miracle will be my children sleeping past 6:30 every morning!

I can dream can’t I?

Change leaves your heart and spirit in a vulnerable place.  When you’re cut off from the passivity of the familiar, suddenly a whole new world of options are opened before you.  There are no schedules to keep up with, no obligations to meet.  Those will likely develop quickly, of course, but in the beginning, when life has finally, mercifully, slowed down the prospects of a clean slate leave me excited.  What will we finally do that we’ve been dreaming of but lacked the time?  What lies in wait for our fragile hearts?

It’s terrifying and exciting and wonderful.  A tightly woven ball of “What if?”  What if we had the time to finally do that?  What if we were closer to finally participate in this?  What if we finally set aside the resources to accomplish that dream?  What if we watched in grand expectation and looked for the miracles?

While the in-between has given me a touch of vertigo, unsure of which way to turn, it’s also left me excited.  I love what ifs.  I love to see miracles happen and for the first time in a long time, I’m finally watching for them.

“Change is the handmaiden Nature uses to do her miracles with.”

Have you seen any miracles lately?  Let’s share and all join in the excitement!

“For I know the plans I have for.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you a hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

For more pictures by my awesome sister-in-law, visit her blog.  We’re having some wonderful, sweet cousin time.

Filed Under: faith, Family, Florida, Life, Moving Tagged With: , , , ,

On the horizon

July 19, 2011 by

It’s late and I am weary.  I have said my goodbyes and I have cried my tears.  A few weeks ago, I thought that this final night in the town that has long been my home would be filled with emotion and anxiety, but right now I feel neither of those things.  I think I am done.  I don’t have any more goodbyes left and my eyes are, for the moment, dry.  My throat isn’t burning and my stomach has finally settled.  I’m ready to move forward.

It’s still hard.  If I think too long about the people we are leaving behind, the emotion wells up again so I am choosing to not focus on that.  What’s the point?  It’s time to move forward and you know what?

I’m excited.

It took me a little while to feel comfortable admitting that.  To do so somehow felt like a betrayal to the city and the people I love so dearly.  But I also dearly love the state of Florida and I am thrilled to be able to call it my home.  I’ve always wanted to be a true Floridian (I was born there so somehow I think it’s in my blood).  I can’t wait to be close to my family.  And the beach.  In that order, of course.  I’m excited to meet new people and make new friends but, of course, keep the old – I hear that one’s silver and the other gold.

I’m nervous, too.

I wish we had a house to go to.  That’s been a bit of a struggle.  God has been so faithful in this entire process and every single detail has worked out smoothly and easily and perfectly.  Until we began house hunting and then suddenly the flow came to a screeching halt.  But one thing I know – He hasn’t forgotten that tiny little detail.  And the right house is out there waiting for us.

I’m trying to be patient as I wait for it.

So tomorrow we hit the road.  And it’s going to be an adventure.  We’ll go to Arkansas first to stay with family for a week.  From there we’ll head to the Sunshine State.  Just me, three kids and the dog.  Alone.  I can’t decide who will need to be sedated more – them or me.

I kid.

Maybe.

You’ll never know and I’ll never tell.

St. Louis will always be home.  I have duel citizenship.  I consider that a blessing.  We have been blessed abundantly beyond anything I could have ever asked or imagined in this town.  I never in my wildest dreams thought I would so enjoy coming back here after Lee and I had lived in Dallas for two years.  We didn’t want to leave Texas either.

Funny how things work out, isn’t it?

Yes, I’m excited to see what comes next.  We’re going to be alright.  This process, more than any other, has shown me the value of clinging to one another.  We have each other.  It’s really all we need.

Friends are nice too, though.

I am saying see ya to most of my friends.  I value friendship deeply and I am not one to move on and not look back.  The people in my past have shaped who I am today.  And I value loyalty.  To me, friendships are not dispensable.  I’ve never fully understood how they could be such to others.  And so I look forward to continuing to grow and love the people God has placed in my life, both past and present.  I cling to those relationships.

It makes me grateful for Facebook.  The value of the internet is also very real to me now.

I do covet your prayers as we travel.  Safety, Sanity and other such necessities.  And we long to establish ourselves quickly into a new community.  A new church family to serve and be blessed by.  A new house to make our home and neighbors with whom to create memories.  Will you pray for us?  And every once in awhile shoot us an email if you’re so inclined.  It would bless us greatly to hear from you.

And now I’m off to sleep. Tomorrow a new chapter begins.

Filed Under: Family, Florida, Life, Moving, Random Tagged With: , , ,

July

July 18, 2011 by

July, 2000 – Lee and I tie the knot

July, 2001 – We go to the Bahamas for our first anniversary

July, 2002 – We move from Dallas, Texas to St. Louis, Missouri

July, 2003 – We have our first child. And move into our first house.  All in the same week

July, 2005 – We find out we’re pregnant with baby number two

July, 2007 – I am finally able to come off of bed rest after a month due to almost losing child number three

 

July, 2010 – Lee and I celebrate ten years of marriage

July, 2011 – We move from St. Louis, Missouri to Tampa, Florida

 


Apparently big things happen to us in July…

Filed Under: Family, Life Tagged With: , ,

The Ribbons and the Ribbon Maker: A Repost

July 14, 2011 by

It’s only been a year since I first posted this, but I wanted to post it again.  We are headed into a hard week.  It’s time to say our official goodbyes.  On top of that, we did not find a house while we were in Florida and we’re discouraged.  It’s just going to be an emotional few days and as I think about the people who have been so tightly woven into our lives here in St. Louis, my heart breaks and my stomach twists.  I am the ribbon being tugged away this time, preparing to be placed alone in a new town and await the beauty that comes from being rewoven.

We covet your prayers these next few days.  And I pray that you can identify those who are woven into the fabric of your own life with deep gratitude and thanks.

THE RIBBONS AND THE RIBBON MAKER

Six ribbons, each a different length, a different size and all quite unique.  The Ribbon Maker looked at His ribbons and decided that they would be better if woven together so He carefully and skillfully began braiding them.  One over another with careful precision He wound the ribbons until they were a cord.

It was a strong cord and the weaving made each ribbon stronger.  Until one day one of the ribbons felt a tug.  She looked up and watched as the Ribbon Maker began pulling her away.  She looked at the other ribbons in the cord.  “I think the Ribbon Maker is calling me away,” she said.  The ribbons looked up and saw that it was so.  Though it saddened them to see a piece of the cord leave, they were thrilled when the Ribbon Maker left behind a thread – a splash of the ribbon He was taking away.

“I’m going to make a new cord using this beuatiful ribbon as my starting point,” the Ribbon Maker said as He lovingly carried away his ribbon.

Then there were five ribbons.  They were still strong and with time they grew tighter and tighter as a unit.  Until one day one of the ribbons looked up.  She felt a tug and noticed that the Ribbon Maker was looking at her.  “I think the Ribbon Maker wants to take me away,” she said to the group.  The other ribbons were sad.  How could they remain a strong cord if another ribbon was pulled away?

Once again, as the Ribbon Maker carefully unwove His ribbon from the rest, he left behind a thin cord.  Next to the other four ribbons, the two cords left behind revealed a lovely pattern.  “Don’t worry,” He told his ribbons.  “I’m going to take her someplace new and begin a new cord.  And you all will be stronger for it.”  And with that He carried the ribbon away.

For some time, the four ribbons remained and just as the Ribbon Maker promised, they grew stronger and tighter.  The threads of those who were carried away remained a strong presence in their unit and they each grew strong individually as well.  But one day the Ribbon Maker looked at His cord and decided it needed a new ribbon.  So, as only the Ribbon Maker can, He brought in a new, vibrant ribbon to weave into His cord.  It took a bit of work to fit her in just right, but with time He had her woven in such a way that it was as if she had always been there.  And the cord was strong.

Until…

One of the ribbons looked up.  She felt the tug and knew it was time.  All of the ribbons began to wonder why the Ribbon Maker continued to pull them away when they were so strong together.

“Trust me,” said the Ribbon Maker.  “I need her to start a new cord, but her presence will always remain within this cord.”

And He carefully pulled out a thread and left it behind.  The cord was beautiful and strong, though the ribbons left behind felt sad as they looked around and saw how many had been tugged away.  What began as six ribbons had become five, then four, then five again and now four.  Four ribbons with three vibrant threads woven in.  What was the Ribbon Maker up to?

“I am weaving you together to make you strong,” He told them gently.  “I need you strong so that I can use you to start new cords, strengthening my other ribbons.  If I leave you all together too long what use is that to the ribbons who have no one to join with them?  Don’t you know that there are threads of each of you left behind in different cords?  Don’t you remember how I’ve tugged you away and used you to start new cords?  My ribbons are each created with a unique beauty and that beauty is only enhanced when they are woven amongst one another.  But I can’t leave my ribbons in one place for too long or they get tired, comfortable, and they lose a bit of their shine.  You are a beautiful cord and you have grown into strong ribbons.  I am using you to weave a beautiful tapestry.  Trust Me.”

“If one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him.  A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”  Eccelesiastes 4:12

To the women who have been woven into my heart by the Ribbon Maker over the last year and a half, I love you.  I am stronger because of you.  I am grateful for you.  The threads of those who have gone on (or are preparing to move on) are still visible and we continue to pray for you as you begin braiding a new cord of ribbons.  You are being delicately woven in Costa Rica, in Dallas and, soon, in Cleveland.  And for those who remain, I’m hanging on for ride because it appears to me that the Ribbon Maker has a grand plan for our braided little group.

Filed Under: faith, Family, Life, Random

Eight

July 10, 2011 by

“Mom.”  Hot breath on my cheek stirs me from the deepest of sleep.  “I have a stomach ache.  Can I sleep with you?”

I mumble something incoherent that he and I both interpret as a yes and he burrows under the covers.  His hair smells clean, freshly washed just before bed.  I’m poised to drift back to dreamland, but for a conscious moment, I relish him close.

He sucks in a deep breath.  It’s sharp.  Pain.

“Are you okay?” I ask, more awake now.  He clutches his side and pants.  It’s probably an air bubble, but in my sleepy haze I immediately assume appendicitis and I push on the lower right side of his abdomen.  “Does that hurt?”

“Ow!  Yes, that hurts!”

“Oh…sorry.”

In the next moment, he is wrapped around me.  Knees and elbows swathed in a narrow frame.  His nose is in my neck, his arm flung across my waist.  He’s hot and I’m immediately uncomfortable.  I’m so tired and my first thought is to push him off on his father who is snoring on the other side of the bed.

But then I stop.  His breathing slows and falls into a quiet rhythm.  In, out.  In, out.

It’s just as it was back when he used to fit a little more snuggly in my arms.  Back when I couldn’t wear his flip flops and his hands weren’t nearly as big as mine.  Back when his hair was a white blonde fuzz on top of his round head.  And instead of pushing him away, my arms engulf him and squeeze tight.

Because I miss back then.  I miss it.

But for a few short hours, I got to relive those moments.  I didn’t sleep much…or at all.  Somehow, though, sleep didn’t matter, just as it didn’t matter back then.  Because the moments fade so fast.  When morning light pierced through the darkness, he finally stirred and unwound his spindly body.  He looked up at me, all blue eyes and freckles.  And eight years passed me by in an instant.

“Hey Mom,” he said with a sleepy grin.  “Can I have some Nutella for my birthday breakfast?”  And as he dashed off to conquer the day, I remained behind.  Tired and teary.  Grateful for a night of little sleep and thankful for those brief, still moments when he snuggled close and held tight.  Those moments will soon be no more.

Happy Birthday, Sloan.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Sloan Tagged With: , ,

Give My Regards to Broadway

July 6, 2011 by

After some thought, I decided to take my earlier post down.  I was upset and hurt and processing, but decided that ultimately I didn’t need to have all of that out in the world wide web.  To those who commented, thank you and sorry I had to subject you to my crazy.  To those who missed it…lucky you.  And now, without further ado…I give you more of my life..

Riveting…

When I was a little girl, I had two goals in life: Grow up and become a gold medal winning gymnast and  become a famous movie star/singer.  Two things happened to squash those dreams – I wasn’t a very good gymnast due to my tall frame, inflexibility and terror of the high beam (do you know how narrow that things is?!).  I made it to level 7 where back handsprings on the beam were a requirement and thus ended my gymnastics career.  Well, that and a stress fracture in back.  I typically like to give people that as my excuse for quitting – it sounds cooler.

The famous actress thing died when I discovered that I stink at auditioning.  Seriously…stink at it.  Give me a room of 1,000 people and I will happily sing and ham it up all day.  Give me a room of two and I go mute.  Odd?  Yes, I would agree.  It took one semester in Baylor’s theater department for me to figure out that acting would eat me from the inside out.  So I waved goodbye to the dream and grew content with the occasional performance of the “for fun” variety.

In the last six months, however, I’ve had the opportunity to get a little stage time that I don’t usually get.  Singing in church doesn’t count.  I actually work really hard at NOT standing out on stage at church.  Because I naturally lean toward the, ahem, dramatic, I have to be very careful of my heart before I walk on stage to lead worship.  It’s not about me and it’s not about performing.

So when I got the opportunity to perform…well, let’s just say the little girl inside of me skipped a little.  And squealed and clapped her hands while jumping up and down.  Singing in this year’s VP Parade was a big slice of heaven for the little girl in me.  It was fun.  Lots and lots of fun.  I was backed by some of the greatest jazz and blues musicians in the business.  Men like Scott Alberici and “Red” Lehr, among others.

And I had fun.  It was sweltering and yes, my dress did look a bit like a muumuu, but I was on stage with a microphone in my hand singing Give My Regards to Broadway.

Fu-un.

I hope the rest of you had as magical of a 4th as I did!  I’m off to squeeze in as much St. Louis fun as I can before we have to leave.  It’s all happening very fast now… (click on the pictures to see them a little closer up)

 

Filed Under: Family, Holidays, Ju;y 4th, Life Tagged With: , , , , ,

Let Freedom Ring

July 4, 2011 by

IN CONGRESS, July 4 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States

(an excerpt)

…We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government…

…We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States;

that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved;

and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

May your Independence Day be full of blessings, family, friends and hot dogs.  God Bless this great country.

To read the Declaration of Independence in its entirety, visit my friend Angie’s website, Celebrating Holidays.  On it you will be find a jackpot of information and history to share with your children on why we celebrate this holiday, where our national symbols originated and what they mean, and creative things you can do with your kids to celebrate.  Her website is a gold mine.

Filed Under: Heritage, Holidays, Ju;y 4th, Life, summer fun Tagged With: , , ,

We’re moving to Florida

July 2, 2011 by

In February we met with a realtor to discuss putting our house on the market.  We were ready to upsize.  We wanted more space for ourselves, for our children and we wanted to be able to host out of town family when they came to visit.  That was our plan.

God had a different plan.

On April 6, our house officially went on the market and we began looking at new homes here in town.  A few weeks later, Lee got wind of a job opportunity in Tampa, Florida.  We’ve always wanted to live in Florida so whenever a job opened up down there we checked it out.  The thing is, we love St. Louis.  We’re so deeply blessed here that for us to pull the trigger on moving was difficult.  No job ever felt good enough for us to actually make that move.

Until this one.

Lee got really excited about this job potential.  More excited than I’ve seen him in a long time.  But I wasn’t sure.  There were other things playing out in my mind and heart and I was kind of at the point where I was ready to abandon the dream of living in Florida and stake our claim in St. Louis forever.  So I waited skeptically while Lee interviewed.

We decided to put our house hunt on hold until we found out more about the viability of the job.  About five weeks ago, we got the call from our realtor that we had an offer on our house.  At this point we’d heard little from the people in Tampa so we began looking again at homes locally.  But two days after the house went under contract, Lee was asked to fly to Tampa for an interview.

This is the part of the story where I began developing an ulcer.

I waited as my husband flew to Tampa for two days to interview.  And while I waited, I prayed.  I prayed that the Lord would give us wisdom to make the right decision.  Like I said, we’re terribly blessed here.  And a large part of that blessing stems from our amazing church family.  The thought of leaving our church home and the friends we have there makes my stomach tie into knots.  But I don’t ever want fear of change to hold my family back, so I determined to loosen my grip on the familiar and embrace what God might have for us.

I can’t go into all the details of how God showed us His plan, but I can say that He answered my prayer above and beyond what I imagined.  I asked Him to make it obvious if we should go and He really did.  From things like our house selling at exactly the same time the company needed to make the new hire, to our roof needing to be replaced and insurance covering it, to our furnace needing to be replaced and home warranty covering, and on and on the list goes…

OBVIOUS.

God placed random strangers into our lives to speak such wisdom and peace into us that both of us began to shake our heads in awe.  From someone sitting by Lee on the airplane down to Tampa to a bartender, God used others to give us peace in this decision.  It’s truly been amazing.

We did not mention this to many people because we just weren’t sure what would happen.  It’s tricky when a lot of life plays itself out online.  These matters become much more delicate.  We didn’t want Lee’s current company to get wind of this, obviously.  Nor did we want anything said to our kids inadvertently.  But it’s been hard.  We have tried to answer questions honestly without giving too much information away.  It’s felt deceptive, but I sincerely hope that everyone understands that that was never our intention.  This has been a difficult process for us.

On Tuesday of this past week, Lee’s paperwork cleared and he was officially given the job that would move us from St. Louis to Tampa.  We closed on our house the next day.  Once again, God confirmed in our hearts His plan.

But this is hard.

This is really, really hard.  Painful.  Lee will leave in two weeks to begin working in Florida.  The kids and I will leave a few days after him.  And my heart is ripping in half.

My family moved to St. Louis when I was 12.  Though I lived in Texas for six years, St. Louis was always home base.  For 21 years, this has either been home, or home base.  Minus the wicked winters…and crazy tornadic springs, I love everything about this town.  Especially the people.  Lee and I moved here a year before Sloan was born.  This is the place we became a family.  We have friends who have poured into us for the last nine years, watching us grow, watching our children grow and giving us some of the sweetest years of our lives.

I’m sad to leave.

But I’m also excited.  Like I said, living in Florida has been a dream of ours since we got married.  We have family down there and we love everything about the beach.  Our kids have been begging us to move to Florida for years.  They’re thrilled.  And we are too.  But it’s tempered by the dread we feel to leave.

So that’s where we stand.  We are spending our last couple of weeks in St. Louis doing all the things we love to do, spending as much time with friends as we can, and shedding a lot of tears.  We are also rejoicing in the Lord’s provision and look forward expectantly as we await what He would have for us next.

I said it before…new adventures await us.


Filed Under: faith, Family, Life, Random, summer fun Tagged With: , , ,

Jennifer Aniston did my hair

July 1, 2011 by

It was early morning, the air sticky and hot.  I struggled with my dress, which originally bore the shape of a bad muumuu…made out of curtains.  Unfortunately during the tailoring process, the dress had been altered into a bit of a mini-skirt.  I found myself self consciously tugging at it, all the while singing the song I learned at junior high church camp many moons ago:

 

 

Oh you can’t get the heaven (Oh you can’t get to heaven)

In a mini-skirt (In a mini-skirt)

No you can’t get to heaven (No you can’t get to heaven)

In a mini-skiiiiirt.

No you can’t get to heaven in a min-skirt

‘Cause God don’t like no little flirt

All my sins are washed away, I’ve been redeemed

(I’ve been redeemed)

Lovely.

Much emphasis was placed on the need for me not to be late.  It was imperative that I show up on time, which meant I needed to leave extra early because I didn’t know where I was going.  It’s always best to plan a little extra time to get lost.  Especially if you’re me.  I’m fairly certain God forgot to install my inner compass when He put me together.

I ran down the steep hill (mountain?) from the cabin where I and the other participants slept, carrying my flip flops in one hand and holding my shortened dress down with the other.  I finally got to the community bathroom where my friend Melissa met me.  She came out of nowhere – I’m not even sure how she got there….she lives in Louisiana.

“What are you doing with your hair?” she asked as I frantically applied my make up.

“I don’t know!” I lamented.  “My hair looks like a mushroom!”

It really did.  Somehow the humidity had tousled it into a bouffant that resembled a portabella on top of my head.  Making matters worse, I held the hair dryer too close to my head and fried my bangs and they now frizzed out in a bubble of straw right in the middle of my forehead.

As I huffed, I heard laughter from the bathroom stall.  Melissa and I exchanged looks and waited.  The toilet flushed and the stall door opened.

It was Jennifer Aniston!  Perfect hair and all…

Walking up to me, Jennifer studied my hair closely.  “Hmmm…” she said.  “Your hair does need a little TLC.”  She sounded just like Rachel Green.

“Can you help me?” I asked shyly.

“Sure,” she answered with a smile.  She was so nice!  I always knew she and I would make good friends.  Jennifer grabbed a brush and turned me away from the mirror then went to work.  She pulled and tugged and twisted and sprayed my hair with some kind of magic potion from her oversize purse.  A few minutes later she whirled me around and Voila! MY hair was red carpet ready. It was even a little longer.  I’m not sure how she pulled that one off… I felt a surge of confidence and I turned to hug my friend.

“What time are you supposed to be there?” she asked.

“6:45,” I answered.  Her eyes grew wide.

“Kelli!  It’s already 8:21!”

“No!” I kissed her on the cheek and dashed out of the bathroom.  I needed to get back up to the cabin to retrieve my car keys and make my way to the meet up point.  I tore up the steep hill that had somehow  become covered in snow.  As I climbed I found a pair of my sandals buried in the snow and snatched them up.  They would go perfect with my unfortunate dress.

This is when I woke up in a panic and had to tell myself that none of that happened and I didn’t miss the VP Parade, which I am singing in tomorrow morning.  Jennifer Aniston did not do my hair and last I checked there were no snow covered mountains in St. Louis.

Phew.

If you are in the area and want to come down and watch tomorrow morning, I will be on the Riverboat float singing dixieland.  Look for the girl in a muumuu made out of curtains.  Or in a min-skirt if my dream proves to be at all prophetic.  It starts at 10:00am (and yes, I have to be there no later than 6:45) and heads down 4th and Market.  It ends near Union Station.

Jennifer (can I call you Jen?) if you’re in town, meet me on 4th street at 6:00.  Me and my hair will probably need your help.

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Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Life, Random, summer fun Tagged With: , , ,
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