Archives for January 2008

Captain Random

Here is a conversation Sloan and I had yesterday in the car as we drove past a cemetary:
Sloan: “Mommy, why does that garden have all those statues in it?”
Me: “Those are headstones. That’s a cemetary.”
Sloan: “What’s a cemetary?”
Me(starting to sweat a little at the thought of explaining this): “Well, when people die, we bury them in a cemetary, then put a headstone with their name on it so we know where they were buried.”
Sloan: “We bury them in the dirt?”
Me: “Yes.”
Sloan: “But I thought people went to heaven when they die.”
Me (really sweating now): “Well, if people know Jesus, they go to heaven. But their bodies stay here. You remember when Mr. John (our neighbor) died? He went to heaven but his body stayed here. (At this point I really began to hope that he didn’t need further explanation. How do you explain the spirit to a 4 year old?)
Sloan: “I don’t want to go to heavn.”
Me: “Oh, yes you do. Heaven is a wonderful place with streets of gold and angels…”
Sloan: “I don’t like angels!”
Me: “Angels are wonderful! They’re nice and they love God and love to sing praises to Him.”
Sloan: “Not the bad angels in the forest.”
Me: “Ummm…but we’re talking about angels in heaven.”
Sloan: “No, I want to talk about bears.”
Me: “Uh…okay.”
Thus ended a potential teachable moment and began a ten minute dialogue as to whether bears cry and what a bear cry sounds like. As you can see we must always be on our toes when talking with him!

I feel like an idiot

So we made our first trip to the ER for the year 2008. Awesome. We’re eating dinner tonight and Lee looks down at Landon and notices that he looks a little pale. A little? He looks like Casper with red hair! So, we both have a minor moment of panic. Lee picks him up and walks him around a little and the color returns to his face, but his hands are still pretty transluscent so we make the necessary all to the doctor. After describing the symptoms, the on call nurse recommends we go to the ER so we pack up our wheezing baby and head back out into the subzero night, this time driving through spitting snow. I hate winter…
Anyway – we get to the ER at Missouri Baptist, (which is a great place by the way, I highly recommend it) and they take his vitals. First, they tell us the kid weighs
10 lbs. 9 oz., which I’m not sure I believe since he hasn’t eaten more than two ounces at a time for four days now but whatever. Then they check his lungs. Was he wheezing? NO! The kid had nary a cough or rattle. We’re starting to feel foolish but we go with it. Then they put us in a room where they take his vitals yet again – he’s still fine. He’s even breathing through his nose, which he’s done little of these past few days. We feel even more foolish. When the doctor came in I found myelf sending out telepathic signals. Cough, Landon. Show them how sick you really are. It seems to work for a moment as he lets out a nasty, chesty wet cough and I feel momentarily vindicated. See, he is sick. But then he stops coughing and again starts breathing through his nose. They must hate people like us! Anyway, it is a praise because he tested negative for RSV and everything else looked fine, other than minor congestion, a nasty cough and a goopy eye. So, $75.00 later they tell us what we already knew…he has a bad cold. As we drive home, I swear I hear him giggling in the backseat. That’s right, my dear sweet boy. You made us look foolish. But, we will sleep better tonight knowing you’re well so I guess it wasn’t all that bad!

A letter of encouragement…to my body

Dear, ummm, me…
So I thought it was time to give you a little pep talk. I know I’ve been rough on you these last few years, what with the constant weight gain and loss and all that comes with pregnancy, but fear not. I won’t do that to you anymore. In return for that favor, however, I have a few favors to ask of you.
Let’s start with you, dear legs. Remember the days when you were fit and trim, when you could handle a brisk walk up a steep hill without screaming out in pain? Think back on those days and strive for that again, would ya? Now I must confess, I’ve never really cared for the upper half of you guys…you know, the thighs? But I’m willing to give you guys another chance if you’ll just help me out here. You guys shape up and I’ll quit complaining about you…fair?
Now, on to my stomach and my hips. Remember what it felt like to be flat, to slide into a pair of pants without having to be painfully sucked and tucked in? Let’s get back to that. Tell you what, I’ll do my part and try and eat foods that help you in that goal, if you’ll do your part and shrink. I’ve already started! I’m mean, I ate that nasty bowl of flax cereal this morning didn’t I? Okay, so I added a little sugar to it – I had to, though. I gotta keep the tongue happy! Anyway, I all want is for you guys to trim up. That’s all I ask. And I’ll just remind you that there is a wardrobe of pants hanging in the basement just waiting to be worn – and none of them have elastic waistbands! Oh yeah, and we will be wearing a bathing suit in a couple of months. You don’t want to be humiliated do you?
On to my arms. Is there any way you guys could tone up and not look quite so, uh, masculine? That’d be great.
Moving on to the chest. Riiiight. Since you’re probably the only part of my body that will immediately shrink back to pre-pregnancy size, there seems to be little I can really say. So, you know…whatever.
And you, dear chin. Could you tell your twin to take a hike? You know, the one who keeps popping up in photographs. That’s not cool.
To my face – listen, the chubby cheeks are adorable…on the baby. On you? Not so much so shape it up okay? And if you, my dear eyes, could quit looking so droopy and red, that’d be great. I realize you’re exhausted and are sorely lacking rest, but come one, buck up! Keep looking bright and shiny for me!
Finally, to the part of my brain that keeps sending out cravings for things like chocolate and cookies, please stop! Send out a craving for broccoli every once and awhile. Be satisfied and content with a salad and quit sabatoging (sp?) everyone else’s hard work!
So, there it is. You guys can do it. If we all work together and boldly march forward, each carrying within us the motto “Remember the Glory Days!” I know we can return to our once comfortable shape. It’s up to you all! I know you can do it!

Oh yeah, and I need to throw this in. To my big toe, you know the one with only half a nail due to a most unfortunate incident invloving apple juice, a slippery floor and a table leg, could you please grow back and repair yourself before summer? No one wants to see you looking like that. Thanks.

Kid’s Say the Darndest Things…1

Last night some friends brought us dinner. Sloan asked what they brought and our friend kindly replied, “I brought you Enchiladas!” Sloan just furrowed his brow and looked concerned. After she left Sloan turned to us and said, “Can I eat something different because I don’t like to eat Chihuahuas.” Hee, hee, hee

The Plague is Upon Us!

Good grief. We were back at the pediatrician yesterday, this time for Landon. That’s 80 bucks in co-pays in just five days! Poor little guy has a terrible cold. Of course, yesterday when I took him, he was just congested but his lungs were fine. Today his nose seems a little better, but he has the most awful sounding cough. We are just praying that this clears up soon and doesn’t worsen into the dreaded RSV. The only advice the dr. had for us at this point was to sit in a steamy bathroom with him, which I did for about 40 minutes at 3:00 this morning. I guess it helped a little but he still seems pretty miserable. As long as his breathing remains regulated and his color stays pink we should be okay. So far so good in those areas…
I’m learning a lot right now about God’s perfect will and His Providence in our lives. I’m reading a great book called With God in Russia about a priest who was falsely imprisoned in the Soviet Union during World War II. He was an American priest who went over there to share God’s love with the Russians, but was ultimately accused of espionage. He spent 15 years in a Siberian labor camp before he was finally released and sent back to the United States. His attitude and recollections toward that time are amazing and convicting. But one thing he says over and over is that he relied on the knowledge that God had a purpose and a plan and that he was in that place for a reason and that reason was to bring glory to God. Even when he spent an entire year in solitary confinement, he looked for every opportunity to glorify God and spent hours a day in prayer and meditation. In light of that, my momentary trials seem pale. I am trying to spend more time today thinking about how I can glorify God in this situation and less about how I can feel sorry for myself and how tired I am. It’s 8:43 right now and so far I’ve had a pretty good attitude. We’ll see how I do at 5:00. That’s the true test! Anyway, that’s me this morning…

Per Request

Here are a couple of pictures of Sloan’s kickin’ new do. It’s a little hard to see, but the sprouts of hair sticking up on the side of his head are the result of his homemade haircut. His face says it all…

Today’s Trauma

So I ended up back at the ped’s office today with Tia because she screamed all afternoon with her hand clutched over her ear. Never mind that we were just there on Friday and I asked the covering doctor, who I do not like, (our doctor doesn’t work on Fridays, and for some reason my kids always get sick on Friday) to go ahead and prescribe Tia antibiotics along with Sloan since I knew that she would develop an ear infection. That doctor wouldn’t do it because she felt Tia just had a cold at that point. Grrrr…I wish they would listen to mother’s intuition now and then! Anyway, I took Tia in and of course they wanted to check her ears to be sure. Well, Tia hates having her ears looked at. She freaks out if you come near her ears. She won’t even let me take her temperature with an ear thermometer. And to make matters worse, she has terribly waxy ears, which means they always have to try and clean them out. Needless to say, this did not go well. That child is freakishly strong. I was literally laying on top of her, trying to pin her down as she screamed and thrashed. Finally, the dr. had to call in not one, but TWO nurses to help me hold her down. When she still couldn’t get the wax out, they had to try washing her ears out. Meanwhile I’m almost in tears and all I want to do is scream, “Just give me the freakin’ prescription!” Finally, they clear just enough wax out of one ear to be able to see that yes, she does indeed have an ear infection…and since that wasn’t even the ear she had been holding all day, we assume it’s a double ear infection. Gee, didn’t I tell them that’s what it was when I called them three hours earlier! I appreciate that doctors want to be careful not to over-medicate children, I really do, but for the love! Just listen to me now and again! It was traumatic for both me and my sweet girl. I told Lee I’m never doing that again. Anything that has to do with her ears is his job from now on because I was a wreck afterward. It sucks holding your kid down while she’s screaming Mama. At one point, I leaned over to tell her everything was alright and she grabbed my face and started hitting at me and trying to scratch me. She was trying to hurt me! She was mad. Poor baby. But now we have the antibiotics and I’m praying this nips it in the bud because I don’t want to go back there. Of course, now Landon is all congested and is having a hard time sleeping. Probably another long night for us. I know this is just a season of life, but right now it feels like it’s never gonna end…

Sloan Saga, Part One

So, this morning, Sloan completed what I can only imagine is a rite of passage for all kids…He cut his own hair. He came in the room, all smiles, saying he needed a haricut and took care of it himself. At first, I thought he was joking, until I saw a large chunk of hair on his shoulder. Sloan’s got longer hair so I didn’t think it would be too obvious. Then I noticed a larger chunk of hair in the hood of his sweatshirt. Upon closer examination, I noticed that he now has a very short crew cut right on the side of his head. Luckily, it’s not too noticable, uness you happen to be standing on that side! Sheesh. Oh well. I remember vividly cutting my own hair as a kid – I was probably close to Sloan’s age. I still remember looking in the mirror and thinking that my mom would be so proud of me as I snipped my bangs off. I also remember how surprised I was when I told her and her face did not register pride, but rather horror and rage. What goes around comes around, huh?

Dad’s perspective

Here’s how I define humility:
—When a 2 year old girl with a runny nose sneezes right in your face and snot comes pouring out of her nose as she is about to give you a beautiful, sweet, tender kiss.
—When wrestling with your 4 year old son, he cuts one right on your head as you are giving him a ride on your shoulders.
—When changing the diaper of your 1 month old, he pees on your arm before you can get the other diaper on.

It’s so good to be a Father.

🙂 Lee

Tia Tales, Part One

Warning…The story I am about to post is gross…really, really gross.

So it was a fairly nice day today – chilly, but the sun was out, so I decided to take the kids on a walk. I got Tia all dressed and ready and sent her outside while I bundled Landon up and put him in the Baby Bjorn. When I came out, Tia was chewing on something and looking at me with that guilty look, which is never a good sign.

Assuming she was eating a piece of dog food (something she is prone to doing), I asked her to spit it out in my hand. When she did, I almost threw up. It was not a piece of dog food, but was, in fact, Landon’s umbilical cord, which must have fallen out of the garbage can.

Ewwwww…I am gagging even typing this out. Sometimes I wonder how children survive childhood!