Sloan | Page 8 | Minivans Are Hot

Mind the Gap

March 31, 2010 by Kelli

Sloan has now lost all four of his front teeth. The last one came out tonight at church. While I was in choir practice and the kids were supposed to be watching a movie in the cry room until I finished, Sloan ran in repeatedly with a status report on his tooth.

It’s suuuuper wiggly.

It popped TWO TIMES.

Look how far I can push it mom? Is this making you sick?

Mom it’s barely hanging on – will you pull it out?

No wait! Never mind. I’ll do it.

And finally…

Mom it’s out, it’s out, it’s out!!! With Tia trailing close behind, Thwoan wost his toof mom and he hath a hole in his mouf!

When we got in the car to come home, he dropped it and we couldn’t find it – so the tooth is officially lost. And I have a tooth floating somewhere in my car, which is totally gross.

I keep getting this spinning wheel of a bad horror movie in my head where the tooth comes to life and starts attacking me while I drive…

It’s been a long, long day. Let’s just say Lee’s out of town, I just got the kids to bed, it’s 10:15 and I still have to play Tooth Fairy tonight even though I don’t have any cash so I’m going to go scrounge and dig up as many coins as I can find. Oh and my house apparently threw up while I was out and about today – there are clothes and dishes everywhere.

And I’m envisioning them coming to life and attacking me in my sleep.

Awesome…

Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Kids, Motherhood, Sloan Tagged With: Motherhood, Tooth Fairy

Beautiful Lips

March 22, 2010 by Kelli

It was October of 1999. I was a senior at Baylor University and Lee and I were an official “item.” We’d had the obligatory *DTR sometime mid-July and we had finally settled into calling one another boyfriend and girlfriend, although I must admit I giggled every time I called him my boyfriend. It sounded so silly and trivial for no other reason than I knew I was going to marry this man and “boyfriend” seemed to diminish that.

But whatever – he hadn’t put a ring on it yet so that’s what we were stuck with. You know what else he hadn’t done yet?

Kissed me.

Ah, he was a noble lad. He was ever the gentleman and I think he was trying to hold out until he proposed. But that could take forever for all I knew and, being the little minx that I was, I was doing everything in my power to break his will.

I put on shiny lip gloss. I bat my eyes repeatedly. I giggled and grabbed his arm when he made a joke. When we hugged I layed my head against his chest and lingered as long as he would let me. And he was weakening, I could tell.

Then came the crisp Texas October night. We were standing in the parking lot of my apartment complex saying our long, drawn out good-byes. It was after midnight and Lee had to get up early the next morning. I was feeling brazen and had made it some kind of subconcious mission to get him to kiss me.

We were discussing things that only those who are young and in love discuss. Those discussions that have a sole purpose of giving you extra time to stare into one another’s eyes and dig deeper into the heart of the one you adore. They are cheesy and innocent and sometimes I miss those conversations. We still have them but they’re usually laced with fecicious banter and laughter…which is also fun, come to think of it.

“What is your favorite physical trait?” Lee asked. Before I tell you my reply, I’d like to remind you once again that I had a mission to get him to kiss me. We had been an official item for roughly three months and I was so close to cracking through his gold plated chivalry.

Naughty girl…

“My kissable lips,” I said without missing a beat. His eyes widened and I grinned mischeviously. I blinked and gave him my best Come Hither.

“Gotta go,” he said and with a quick hug he hopped into his1992 fire red Pontiac Grand Am and tore out of the parking lot, dust and rocks billowing behind him. Like James Dean…only not as cool.

Dang! He was good. I was terrible, but he was good.

He finally kissed me about a week later after we had our first argument. I can’t even remember what we fought about but I do know it resulted in him looking at me and saying, “This not kissing thing is getting hard.”

We got engaged three weeks later. He was so close…

Fast forward ten and a half years to Friday when I sat on the couch with the kids watching TV. A Revlon commercial came on with Jessica Alba prancing around looking all catlike at the camera. She was advertising lipstick. When they zoomed in on her lips Sloan, who was nestled in the crook of my arm, shook his head slowly.

“Whoa,” he said. “She’s got beautiful lips.”

My head snapped down and he looked slyly at me from the corner of his eye with a devilish little grin and blushed slightly. Then he shrugged his shoulders all cool and said, “What? She’s a beautiful girl.”

He comes by it honestly folks…

*Define The Relationship

Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Kids do the darndest things, Lee, Sloan Tagged With: Jessica Alba, Kids, kids say the darndest things, Motherhood, Revlon

Reunited and it feels so good

March 17, 2010 by Kelli

Everyone is home and they have commenced to fighting and tattling already this morning. And all is right in the Universe again…

Sweet girl came home sporting a nasty cough and a fever. 🙁

It’s been a busy writing week for me. I’m feeling a little buried right now. To read my latest at STL Family Life, click here. The topic? Body After Baby. I also guest posted over at Becke’s blog yesterday. Actually, I was a week and a day late on my deadline so I was grateful for her patience with me. You can also read my review of the new VeggieTales movie, Pistachio: The Little Boy Who Woodn’t. I have a review and a post coming up soon over at 5 Minutes for Mom as well. Whew. It’s a lot but it is fun!

Now that I have all my babies back under one roof, we will relax and enjoy the rest of our Spring Break. They’re tan, blonde and worn out. And I, once again, cannot seem to get a single task accomplished. Life goes on…

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Landon, Life, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: Kids, Life Goes On, Reunited, STL Family Life

It’s coming to an end

March 16, 2010 by Kelli

The kids have had a wonderful week down in Florida with their grandparents but, sadly, it ends today. I have to admit, we’ve also really enjoyed the relaxing week with just Landon at home. I know he’s bored out of his mind, but I’ve relished the quiet. But I’ve also missed my kiddos. Rather than wishing they were here with me, though, I’ve more longed to be there with them.

Sloan lost another tooth

Thank goodness the Tooth Fairy makes stops in Florida. And she leaves money in a seashell! Cool!

ROCK ON!!!

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Sloan, Tia Tagged With: Kids, Motherhood, parenting, Vacation in Florida

Monday – In Bullets

March 8, 2010 by Kelli

– Spring has sprung. Unofficially, of course. We could still have another deep freeze as St. Louis is prone to experience before Spring really decides to settle in. But I’ll take what I can get. The kids played outside all weekend, skipping naps and all around having a fantastic time. My eyes are itching and my nose is running and I’m so excited about it because it is 60 flippin degrees outside.

– We realized last week that our kids haven’t been on antibiotics one. single. time all winter. I’m knocking on wood as I type this. I believe there are two reasons for this phenomenon. First, we more than paid our dues last winter when someone was sick preeeetty much all winter long. I’m not exaggerating when I say that we spent roughly 600 dollars in copays at the doctors office. Second, I have been giving my kids Emergen-C like it’s going out of style. Seriously – You’re thirsty? Have some Emergen-C. Your throat hurts? Emergen-C. You feel fine? EMERGEN-C! Sloan had a sore throat and a fever on Friday. We pumped the Emergen-C in double doses and by Sunday he felt perfectly fine. Of course he is glowing in the dark now, sssssoooooo…

– Speaking of Sloan, his top tooth is hanging on by a thread. Every time I look at it my stomach flips over and I get all hot and light headed. And guess who he keeps asking to try and pull it out? ME! The one who could quite possibly pass out if blood came spurting our of his mouth. (In my mind I imagine the scene from The Shining when a waterfall of blood comes splashing down the hallway – *shudder*) He doesn’t want Lee to do it – just me. He came into our room at 5:45 yesterday morning to have me wiggle his tooth. That thing better fall out quick.

– I put about 20 items on Craig’s List this weekend. I’ve sold a lot of it and am a little over half way to my goal of remaking my bedroom. But if I get one more spam message from someone who is “interested” in my item but wants me to click on her link to make sure it’s what her son/cousin/brother is looking for I’m gonna go batty. I may have gotten a little nasty with someone yesterday…

– My parents put their house on the market Monday afternoon. They are under contract as of yesterday afternoon. Mom is panicking (*deep breaths mom*). They thought it would take longer. They close in 5 weeks. The bummer is that we love my parents house and are sad to see it go (they’ll get a condo here in town). The plus is that I will be able to sell more stuff on Craig’s List. Wahoo!

– I wrote a giveaway/review over at 5 Minutes for Giveaways today for the Superstar Barbie. It’s not up yet but it will be later. It is now up and running. LEave a comment to enter and win a commemorative st of Superstar Barbie dolls. If you don’t want to win a Barbie but do want to check out Barbie’s rockin’ shoes that I totally love, check it out anyway!

– I am writing an article on raising bilingual kids in a monolingual home for STL Family Life this week. I’m gonna have a few late nights as I work to put that together. Hello procrastination, I’m so glad you’re here.

– Have I mentioned that it’s gonna be 60 degrees today? That makes me want to do back handsprings down the street. But I can’t do a back handspring anymore so I may have to settle for a pathetic hurkey when no one is looking…

– We watched the Oscars last night. I don’t know why. We haven’t seen a single movie that was up for nomination. Well, that’s not true – we saw UP. We haven’t always been this cool, folks.

– Landon’s new favortie phrase is “Oh My Dosh.” He says it a hundred times a day and it’s funny every time. He is also showing a great deal of interest in the potty. He’s not ready to train yet, but I am letting him sit on the potty a few times a day. He hasn’t gone in it yet because he usually tells me he has to go after he’s already gone. But he’ll sit on the potty for ten minutes talking and playing (usually with himself…ah the joys of little boys).

– I have so much laundry to do that I fear I may get lost in the mounds of clothing spread around the basement. That is today’s number one goal to accomplish.

– And with that, I will head out. Have a nice Monday!

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Life, Sloan Tagged With: Emergen-C, Oscars, Springtime, UP

He gets that from me

March 5, 2010 by Kelli

Yesterday as we drove about town in our (smokin’ hot) minivan, we put on Michael Jackson to satisfy what I can only describe as an addicition that my kids have to his music. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a six and four year old throw their heads back and sing, “I just can’t stop lovin’ yoooouuuu” with reckless abandon. And Landon singing Man in the Mirror? Classic.

As we grooved to Beat It, I laughed out loud at Sloan’s interpretation of the lyrics. He boldly sang every word…exactly as he was hearing it. Here is what he was singing:

Just Beat it, Beat it

Beat it, Beat it

No one wants to beat it beat it.

Showim a buckey

Not a stoplight

It doesn’t mada

Who’s gonna light

Just Beat it

So I did what any self respecting mother would do…I turned down the volume and told him the real words. Only, as I spoke the lyrics that I usually sing, I realized that they sounded ridiculous and that I was likely singing the wrong thing as well.

It’s kind of the story of my life. For some reason I’ve always had a hard time distinguishing lyrics in a song, but I love to sing, so I sing out what I hear boldly. For years (like until I was in high school) I swore the lyrics to the song “We Built This City on Rock and Roll” were The Milk is sitting. The Milk is sitting on Roock and Roll. Miiilk is sitting. The Milk is sitting on Rock and Roll.

It wasn’t until I actually saw the title of the song as a teenager that it clicked. It was an ah-ha moment of sorts. And the actual lyrics made a lot more sense than what I sang. So when I hear Sloan sing along to grown up songs, I often find myself guffawing as we bop down the road. Not only because the words he sings are ridiculous, but also because oftentimes I’m hearing the same thing he is.

So as we rocked out to MJ yesterday, I told Sloan that the actual words were:

Show him how funky

Long as your right

It doesn’t matter

Who’s wrong or right

Just beat it beat it

When I called Lee and sang my lyrics to him he bust out laughing. “That’s doesn’t make sense,” he cackled. “I know, but Michael Jackson’s lyrics never make sense,” I replied. In my mind I started running through the song Thriller.

It’s just a Thriller in the night

And no one’s gonna save you from the knee that’s in your side.

I wisely decided not to mention to Lee that those are the words I sing along with MJ. So Lee and I hung up and Sloan and I decided we would just sing what we heard since nobody seemed to know the real words.

In case you’re wondering, the actual lyrics to Beat It are this:

Just Beat it, Beat it

Beat it, Beat it

No one wants to be defeated.

Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right

Just beat it.

I was actually not that far off. Score one for mommy.

Oh, and I have also looked up the words to Thriller. Yeah…the real words make a ton more sense. Huh…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids do the darndest things, Sloan Tagged With: Michael Jackson lyrics

In which I write while freezing

March 2, 2010 by Kelli

My house is cold. I would get up and put on a sweater, but Tia is asleep in my bedroom and I’m already wearing a sweater. I could go sit in front of the fireplace, but then I will probably fall asleep and I prefer to waste my time in front of the computer screen, not snoozing in front of the fire.

Ahem.

So I forgot to pick Sloan up at school today. And he’s apparently not going to let me forget about it. I usually pick him up every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because I can’t wait for his bus and still get to Tia’s school in time to pick her up. Thursday and Friday, however, he always rides the bus home.

Except today was an early release day, which for half day kindergartners means they actually get out of school later rather than earlier. Try to keep up…

Most often, early release days fall on a Friday. But apparently the school district likes to mess with us parents and throw one in the middle of the week now and again. So…I forgot it was early release day and drove to school at normal time to pick up the boy. As I pulled in, I noticed there were no other cars/buses waiting then saw the sign announcing Earl Release. So I left, assuming that Sloan would just ride the bus home like he always does on early release days. I did not think about the fact that his teacher expects me to pick him up on Tuesdays.

Cut to me, at home, fixing lunch for the younger two monkeys and the phone rings with a report that they have my child sitting in the office waiting to be picked up. I throw the monkeys in the car sans shoes/coats and dash to the school where Sloan greets me with a “Mom, what the heck?!” and a scowl. I then endured a rather pointed lecture all the way home about how next time I need to send in a note so the teacher knows he’s supposed to get on the bus.

Got it, dear.

And now I’m home and it’s quiet. And I’m cold.

I’m also preparing to write my first post for STLFamilyLife. I met up with the lovely Lisa and Melody last night to discuss partnering with them to build this new site for St. Louis area families. I’m very excited to be working on this with them as they are both very experienced, great writers and all around fun gals to be with. It’s a fun new venture.

And so I’m off to make a cup of hot tea, wrap a blanket around my shoulders and hammer out a post. And give Sloan one more hug and kiss…

Filed Under: Blogging, funny stuff that happens, Random, Sloan Tagged With: STLFamilyLife

The Dance of the Little Bee

March 1, 2010 by Kelli

I observed a strange little phenomenon on Friday. It took me a little off guard, made me laugh and also opened my eyes to the fact that this motherhood thing is as easy as it’s gonna get right now. Right at this moment. It’s not going to get any easier. Which kinda stinks because motherhood is really hard right now.

We were in Walgreens picking up a certain variety of medicine that is supposed to ensure that no more little Stuarts enter this world when we ran into a group of giggly girls who had clearly walked over from the Middle School across the street. As I looked at them wandering the isles all silly-like I had a quick flashback to my own days of walking to this very plaza from the same school. The Walgreens is newer and now sits on the corner instead of in the back of the plaza, but it was still funny to watch them flitting about, laughing about things that weren’t even remotely funny and filling the sleepy store with the raucous sounds on tweendom.

At least they weren’t smoking around back, which may or may not be what I did back in my Walgreens days. I was such a rebel when I was 14. ::eyeroll::

As soon as we walked into the store, Sloan’s radar went off. He was immediately aware of the older girls that were in close proximity. And it turned him into something that is beginning to emerge with greater frequency the older he gets. This shouldn’t surprise me given recent comments he’s made, but I found myself utterly baffled by the abrupt change in behavior he exhibited. He was like a little bee, buzzing here and there, ever aware of the females in his presence.

Like every other girl, my mom told me as a kid that the reason boys bothered me was because they liked me. I never believed her, of course. I just thought boys were incessantly annoying. Until, you know, the day they became not annoying.

But as I watched Sloan turn into a ninja warrior in that store, hiding around corners, jumping out and pretend shooting the girls, I caught a glimpse of that little nugget of truth shared by my mom so long ago. And as the girls giggled and squealed and exclaimed, “Oh My Ga, he’s, like, sooooo cute,” I saw Sloan’s face flush and a look of male dominance flash through his eyes. His chest puffed out and he aimed his “gun” (his fingers accompanied by a gun sound that only a little boy can make) at the group once more and shot. And they laughed in such a high pitch tone that my ears began to bleed. And I laughed and shook my head and ushered my little Ladie’s Man along.

“What are you doing?” I asked Sloan who walked along with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“I just like girls,” he said with a shrug. “I like to be with girls. By myself.”

And off he flitted, my little bee, dancing to the beat of a rhythm I wasn’t fully prepared for just yet. He is aware of girls, he is fascinated by girls, he is attracted to girls (obviously in a completely innocent way). And here I sit, his baffled mother, wondering what on Earth we’re going to do with him.

What am I going to do with him? I see the innocence of his actions. He is aware that girls are different from boys and the difference is attracting. He is also still completely grossed out by the site of boys and girls kissing (thank God Almighty) but at the same time I think he is equally fascinated and mortified by the attraction between boys and girls. Oh yeah…he’s only six. Six. I expected this behavior around 10. Not six. Lord help me…

It is interesting, this process of watching your child grow up and mature. It is both terrifying and thrilling all at once. And as this self awareness begins to develop I find myself entirely unprepared to handle the dance of the little bee. We have time, of course. But if there’s one thing I’ve observed since having children it’s that time does not, indeed, slow down. In fact, I’m quite sure it’s speeding up. It won’t be long until I have a tween who is still innocent in the issue of attraction, but whose impulses towards attraction are much stronger. I wonder if I will still find it so baffling and hysterical?

I also have a girl who will one day be one of those silly, giggly, Middle School girls who knows how to flirt and laugh in such a way that little boys lose whatever reason they may have and begin acting in a way that makes your head spin. Maybe Christ could return before that – like…today.

Filed Under: funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Motherhood, Sloan Tagged With: The birds and the bees

Major Mom Fail = Lesson Learned

February 22, 2010 by Kelli

It is no secret that my six year old is terribly, desperately horribly frightened of thunderstorms. He’s also mildly overly obsessed with them. He checks out library books on weather, he watches the weather channel and reports back to us what part of the country is expecting severe weather for the day. He knows the difference between an F5 and an F1 tornado…

He knows weather.

So last week, when I saw that the movie Twister was coming on TV, I decided to record it and let Sloan watch. I don’t know why this seemed like a good idea. It just did. It seemed like something he would enjoy watching. I know, I know…trust me, I’ve slammed my hand against my forehead more than once these last few days saying Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!

So, Friday afternoon I sat the kids down and turned on Twister. I sat to watch with them so I could skip any parts that I thought might be inappropriate. I get points for that, right?

About 10 miunutes into the movie, I had a nagging feeling that maybe this wasn’t the best idea. As Sloan peppered me with questions, (Is that an F5 mom? Is that guy going to die? Are we going to get a tornado, mom? What happens if you get sucked up by a tornado?) I wondered if I should turn the movie off. But he didn’t seem scared – just interested. It was the same type of interest that he shows when he reads books about tornados.

So alas, I unwisely shoved aside the concerns and figured we’d just pay for this poor decision the next time it stormed and if you’ve ever been with Sloan during a storm, you’d know that he can’t get a whole lot more skittish than he already is.

You don’t need to say it – I already know. I get a big, fat F in motherhood for Friday.

So we finished the movie and the kids commenced to playing tornado. They ran around the house yelling, “It’s an F5. We have to go. Get down in the cellar. Oh no, I’m being sucked up. Tia heeeeeelp meeeee.” And so on and so on. It was cute and funny and I enjoyed watching them.

Then it got dark.

“Dad!” Sloan shrieked running into the room and leaping onto Lee’s lap. “I’m scared.” And my heart sank. In fact, I think I mouthed the word Crap! And it was downhill from there. He wouldn’t walk outside without holding our hands. He wouldn’t go into a dark room. He was jumpy and certain that a monster tornado was looming around the corner waiting to pounce on him.

At bedtime, we prayed with the kids and assured them that we would not be experiencing a tornado, reminded them that the movie wasn’t real, and told them that God gave us a strong house to protect us.

At 9:30, Sloan woke up with his first nightmare. He came tearing out into the living room in tears and still half asleep. We put him back in bed and assured him all was well.

At 10:30, he started crying in bed and this time Tia woke up terrified. She ran into our room gasping that Sloan was crying and there might be a storm and OMG the world is ending! So we walked her to bed and we talked with both of them.

I will now be seamlessly transitioning into the lesson and moral of the story…

We assured Sloan that God was in control of everything – even the weather. We reminded Sloan that God is our protector and we can trust Him in all things. Then we prayed with him and asked God to fill his mind and heart with good things and to remove the fear. We asked God to protect Sloan from fear because fear is not of God. Before we were finished praying, both kids were asleep again and they both slept through the night.

When Sloan woke up Saturday morning, he cralwed in bed with me (Lee had left early for a meeting). As we snuggled close, I asked him how he slept. He told me he had no more bad dreams and that he had a really long good dream. From there we were able to talk about how God answered our prayer and gave him peace. Sloan’s response?

“Mom, I know I can trust God and I know He answers prayers. Sometimes I will probably still get scared, though.”

So precious. And so true. I know I can trust God and I know He answers prayers, but sometimes – I get scared. I fear failure, I fear something happening to my husband or kids, I fear…

My fears are no less real than Sloan’s fear of death by tornado. But how quickly do I forget that God is in control? That He hasn’t forgotten me? That He won’t abandon me? It’s easy to share that lesson with my six year old as he’s huddled under the covers, but for me to embrace it sometimes feels momentous. But how true it is.

And so, when fear threatens to overwhelm me – when the night seems so dark and the shadows so large, I will remember the simple lesson that we learned from Sloan – I know God is in control, I know I can trust Him to protect me and answer my prayers, but sometimes I will probably still get scared. And in those moments, I will pray and ask for His protection, then I will sleep soundly and awake to the morning sun that always works to dispell the fears of the night. And I will trust.

I will also not let him watch that movie ever again…

Filed Under: Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Motherhood, Sloan Tagged With: Twister: The Movie

My son the ‘Playa’

February 17, 2010 by Kelli

Sloan, my adorable, precocious, too-big-for-his-britches six-year-old, is well known for his fabulous, fantastic Quotable Quotes. And he’s popped up with a few doozies the last couple of days. So, without further ado, I give you Sloan…

Image taken by Becke' at Lulu Photography

Yesterday, as he was playing LEGO Star Wars on the Wii (his new obsession), he sat on the couch defeating level after level, all the while singing (to the tune of Star Wars), “I-I-I am Awesome, am Awesome. I-I-I am Awesome, am Awesooome.” And on and on it went. I’m glad he’s confident, but perhaps we nee dto work harder on not being boastful?

Last night, as we sat on the couch watching American Idol, Sloan leaned up against me. “Hey Mom and Dad,” he said. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking RIGHT NOW?”

Me: “Probably not. What are you thinking right now?”

Sloan: “I’m thinking I would like to have a party with no boys…just 1,000 girls.” And a smile spreads across his face.

Me: “Why would you want to have a party with 1,000 girls?”

Sloan (his head nodding up and down all sassy-like): “So I could be by myself with 1,000 girls,” he answered grinning widely.

Lee: “Not me, man. I’d want to have a party with 1,000 boys so we could play ball and have light saber fights. That sounds like more fun.”

Sloan, shrugging his shoulders: “Yeah, I would like that too…But I still want to have a party with 1,000 girls. Oh yeah.”

I feel the need to remind you all once again that he’s six. Oy…

Then, this morning, as the kids were eating breakfast Sloan leans over to Tia and says, “Tia, you’re hot.”

Tia: “No I’m not. I’m not hot, I’m cold.”

Sloan: “No Tia – hot means you’re pretty. It’s like what boys say to pretty girls. They say, ‘Dude, that girl’s hot!”

I…*sigh* There are just no words. Except, perhaps – Will you pray for me?

And now, here is a video of my other “playa.” Landon is going to be our baller. The kid is freakishly coordinated with a basketball already. He can dribble extremely well for a two year old and even after shooting the ball can immediately pick it up and start dribbling without missing a beat. He is nothing short of obssessed with balls and would play all day long. I watch him and Lee play ball together and have to laugh at the pure joy that takes over Lee’s face. Here is evidence.