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On Menopause

March 11, 2010 by

Our friends Scott and Marci invited us to a client appreciation dinner last night and afterwards we were treated to the play, Menopause: The Musical.  A play where four menopausal (or post-menopausal) women sing and dance about all things menopause.  Lee and I were completely unsure about this play as we prepared to leave.  Lee in particular was preparing to meet the evening with a bit of trepidation.  But we were assured by many (men and women alike) that it is indeed a hilrious program, no matter how old you are.  And I will say – that is true.  We laughed…a lot.

A few observations:

  • Gettin’ old blows.  There’s no two ways about it.  Oh sure, with age comes maturity, experience, wisdom and all manner of blessings.  But with all those glorious blessings also come hot flashes, memory loss and, apparently, THE CRAZIES.
  • If you age with a sense of humor, it can be fun.  And funny, as these women so aptly proved last night.  I mean, really, singing about night flashes to the tune of Stayin’ Alive?  Funny.
  • I’m glad that the “change of life” is still a ways off for me.  Sweet mercy, I’ve already got THE CRAZIES.  I don’t need THE CRAZIES accompanied by hot flashes and memory loss…
  • Actually, come to think of it I am having uncharacteristic memory loss.  I think it’s kid-induced rather than hormonal, but it does prove that I’m only one hot flash shy of “the change.”  Awesome.
  • No matter which way you cut it, middle aged women dancing in robes and nighties and singing about hormonal changes and sex is funny…and uncomfortable – but mostly funny.
  • Do not drink two bottles of water and a glass of wine before the show, then take your seat in the middle of the row without going to the bathroom first.  There is no intermission…
  • Should you go see this play yourself be sure to sit directly behind two women who are in their sixties and cackle so loudly that you fear they may wet themselves.  It will totally and completely enhance the performance and will cause your husband to roll around in his chair overcome with hysterics.   

 

So, to recap – aging is inevitable; no matter how old you are, if you drink too much then sit down to watch a hysterical recounting of aging you will be uncomfortable and laughing will be dangerous; sit behind women who have already experienced “the change” – it’s way more fun; don’t get scared of “the change”, especially when you realize you’re one hot flash away from it; and aging blows, but it can also be funny.

I think that about covers it.

Filed Under: Family, Lee, Life, Random Tagged With:

The good news? I’m a blonde again…

March 10, 2010 by

Sorry brunettes – you guys may be smarter, but after several months of being a brunette myself I’ve come to the conclusion that blondes actually do have more fun.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if I had pictures to back up my claim?  But alas, I suffer from mom syndrome in that I am always the one behind the camera, never in front of it.  Not that I mind, really.  Because rarely am I in any position to be standing in front of a camera unless someone with professional editing capabilities is ready and waiting to touch me up.  So you’ll just have to take my word for it – I was a smart brunette for three months and I am now a fun blonde again.

See? Look how much more fun I am already.

Ahem.

So….

The two older kids are leaving today to go to Florida for a week with their grandparents.  I’m excited – and a little jealous, but just a little.  They’re going to have a great time.  And it will be fun to have some one on one time with Landon this week, although I’m afraid he and I both may be a little bored.  I’m not entirely sure what to do with just one child any more.  I remember the days when one child was overwhelming…

It’s always a little nerve racking sending your kids away without you.  I hate the feeling of being out of control.  I can only imagine how terrifying it will be when they get older and they’re driving and I really have no control over what happens to them.  Ugh – I feel an ulcer coming on just thinking about it.  Would it be wrong to sequester them in a padded room from the age of 13 until about 23?

Did I mention that I was blonde again?  I feel all sassy like.  Well, except for the extreme fatigue that’s  resulted in bags and circles under my eyes.  I was up until 1:00 last night working on my article for STL Family Life.  I finished it yesterday morning and needed nothing more than to add the photo and a few hyperlinks.  But WordPress and HTML had other ideas – namely eating entire portions of my article not once, not twice but three flippin’ times!  By 12:30 I was near tears and muttering all manner of unladylike words (being blonde has made me saucy).

But alas, I finally conquered and prevailed and posted and went to bed.  Only to be awoken by a very excited little girl who stormed my bedroom at 5:45 announcing that today was the day they went to “Fwowida.”

Remember staying up until all hours of the night in college and it being all fun and easy and what not?  I was trying to figure out why it’s not fun, easy or…what not…anymore.  And I think I got it.  I had no responsibility back then.  I had merely to drag myself to a class or two, then back home where I could sleep as long as I wanted before getting up again.  There were no kids to feed, no beds to make, no suitcases to pack, no hugs and kisses to dole out, no fights to break up…life was way less complicated.  It was also pretty boring now that I think about it.

So in writing this post I’ve come to a sad realization – while being a blonde makes me more fun, being tired makes me a terrible drag.  I’m going to close it out before I bore you all to tears…

To read today’s article on STL Family Life, click here.

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Life, Motherhood Tagged With: , , ,

Monday – In Bullets

March 8, 2010 by

– Spring has sprung.  Unofficially, of course.  We could still have another deep freeze as St. Louis is prone to experience before Spring really decides to settle in.  But I’ll take what I can get.  The kids played outside all weekend, skipping naps and all around having a fantastic time.  My eyes are itching and my nose is running and I’m so excited about it because it is 60 flippin degrees outside.

– We realized last week that our kids haven’t been on antibiotics one. single. time all winter.  I’m knocking on wood as I type this.  I believe there are two reasons for this phenomenon.  First, we more than paid our dues last winter when someone was sick preeeetty much all winter long.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that we spent roughly 600 dollars in copays at the doctors office.  Second, I have been giving my kids Emergen-C like it’s going out of style.  Seriously – You’re thirsty?  Have some Emergen-C.  Your throat hurts?  Emergen-C.  You feel fine?  EMERGEN-C!  Sloan had a sore throat and a fever on Friday.  We pumped the Emergen-C in double doses and by Sunday he felt perfectly fine.  Of course he is glowing in the dark now, sssssoooooo…

– Speaking of Sloan, his top tooth is hanging on by a thread.  Every time I look at it my stomach flips over and I get all hot and light headed.  And guess who he keeps asking to try and pull it out?  ME!  The one who could quite possibly pass out if blood came spurting our of his mouth.  (In my mind I imagine the scene from The Shining when a waterfall of blood comes splashing down the hallway – *shudder*)  He doesn’t want Lee to do it – just me.  He came into our room at 5:45 yesterday morning to have me wiggle his tooth.  That thing better fall out quick.

– I put about 20 items on Craig’s List this weekend.  I’ve sold a lot of it and am a little over half way to my goal of remaking my bedroom.  But if I get one more spam message from someone who is “interested” in my item but wants me to click on her link to make sure it’s what her son/cousin/brother is looking for I’m gonna go batty.  I may have gotten a little nasty with someone yesterday…

– My parents put their house on the market Monday afternoon.  They are under contract as of yesterday afternoon.  Mom is panicking (*deep breaths mom*).  They thought it would take longer.  They close in 5 weeks.  The bummer is that we love my parents house and are sad to see it go (they’ll get a condo here in town).  The plus is that I will be able to sell more stuff on Craig’s List.  Wahoo!

– I wrote a giveaway/review over at 5 Minutes for Giveaways today for the Superstar Barbie.  It’s not up yet but it will be later.   It is now up and running.  LEave a comment to enter and win a commemorative st of Superstar Barbie dolls.  If you don’t want to win a Barbie but do want to check out Barbie’s rockin’ shoes that I totally love, check it out anyway!

– I am writing an article on raising bilingual kids in a monolingual home for STL Family Life this week.  I’m gonna have a few late nights as I work to put that together.  Hello procrastination, I’m so glad you’re here.

– Have I mentioned that it’s gonna be 60 degrees today?  That makes me want to do back handsprings down the street.  But I can’t do a back handspring anymore so I may have to settle for a pathetic hurkey when no one is looking…

– We watched the Oscars last night.  I don’t know why.  We haven’t seen a single movie that was up for nomination.  Well, that’s not true – we saw UP.  We haven’t always been this cool, folks.

– Landon’s new favortie phrase is “Oh My Dosh.”  He says it a hundred times a day and it’s funny every time.  He is also showing a great deal of interest in the potty.  He’s not ready to train yet, but I am letting him sit on the potty a few times a day.  He hasn’t gone in it yet because he usually tells me he has to go after he’s already gone.  But he’ll sit on the potty for ten minutes talking and playing (usually with himself…ah the joys of little boys).

– I have so much laundry to do that I fear I may get lost in the mounds of clothing spread around the basement.  That is today’s number one goal to accomplish.

– And with that, I will head out.  Have a nice Monday!

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Life, Sloan Tagged With: , , ,

He gets that from me

March 5, 2010 by

Yesterday as we drove about town in our (smokin’ hot) minivan, we put on Michael Jackson to satisfy what I can only describe as an addicition that my kids have to his music.  You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a six and four year old throw their heads back and sing, “I just can’t stop lovin’ yoooouuuu” with reckless abandon.  And Landon singing Man in the Mirror?  Classic.

As we grooved to Beat It, I laughed out loud at Sloan’s interpretation of the lyrics.  He boldly sang every word…exactly as he was hearing it.  Here is what he was singing:

Just Beat it, Beat it

Beat it, Beat it

No one wants to beat it beat it.

Showim a buckey

Not a stoplight

It doesn’t mada

Who’s gonna light

Just Beat it

So I did what any self respecting mother would do…I turned down the volume and told him the real words.  Only, as I spoke the lyrics that I usually sing, I realized that they sounded ridiculous and that I was likely singing the wrong thing as well. 

It’s kind of the story of my life.  For some reason I’ve always had a hard time distinguishing lyrics in a song, but I love to sing, so I sing out what I hear boldly.  For years (like until I was in high school) I swore the lyrics to the song “We Built This City on Rock and Roll” were The Milk is sitting.  The Milk is sitting on Roock and Roll. Miiilk is sitting.  The Milk is sitting on Rock and Roll.

It wasn’t until I actually saw the title of the song as a teenager that it clicked.  It was an ah-ha moment of sorts.  And the actual lyrics made a lot more sense than what I sang.  So when I hear Sloan sing along to grown up songs, I often find myself guffawing as we bop down the road.  Not only because the words he sings are ridiculous, but also because oftentimes I’m hearing the same thing he is.

So as we rocked out to MJ yesterday, I told Sloan that the actual words were:

Show him how funky

Long as your right

It doesn’t matter

Who’s wrong or right

Just beat it beat it

When I called Lee and sang my lyrics to him he bust out laughing.  “That’s doesn’t make sense,” he cackled.  “I know, but Michael Jackson’s lyrics never make sense,” I replied.  In my mind I started running through the song Thriller.

It’s just a Thriller in the night

And no one’s gonna save you from the knee that’s in your side.

I wisely decided not to mention to Lee that those are the words I sing along with MJ.  So Lee and I hung up and Sloan and I decided we would just sing what we heard since nobody seemed to know the real words.

In case you’re wondering, the actual lyrics to Beat It are this:

Just Beat it, Beat it

Beat it, Beat it

No one wants to be defeated.

Showin’ how funky and strong is your fight

It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right

Just beat it.

I was actually not that far off.  Score one for mommy.

Oh, and I have also looked up the words to Thriller.  Yeah…the real words make a ton more sense.  Huh…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids do the darndest things, Sloan Tagged With:

Makes me laugh every time

March 4, 2010 by

Generally I try to avoid letting the kids watch too much television.  They watch the most TV in the mornings as our afternoons are usually filled with russian lessons, cleaning up, playing outside, etc…

When I do let them watch morning TV, I try to limit it to cartoons as it’s so much easier to turn it off after 25 or 30 minutes.  However, Landon has recently decided he enjoys watching TV with one particular movie being his very favorite.  And because he’s so dang cute and I really, really have a hard time saying no to him when he scrunches up his face and says, “Pweas?” then flashes his huge grin that dissolves me into a puddle of goo, I decided I couldn’t say no again.

So Tia and Landon are currently sitting on the couch watching Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.  Or “Cwoudy with da chance of da meatball” as Tia calls it.

When I pushed play Landon jumped up and down and clapped his hands yelling “Beatball, beatball, beatball” then hugged my leg and said “I Yub You” before settling on the couch to watch.  Uuummm…so I’ll give him anything he wants for the rest of his life if he keeps doing that.

He’s gonna be rotten.

The thing is, I actually really love this movie myself.  I think it’s hysterical.  Everytime I watch it I laugh out loud, particularly when the kids quote the lines along with the movie. Fuh-hu-nny.

So that’s it…that’s all I’ve got today.  I give in to nearly every one of Landon’s requests, I would give him my heart just to hear him say “I yub you,” and I love the movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Bet you’re glad you stopped by here today, eh?

Well, so I don’t completely waste your time, I will send you here where you can read up on the bloggers who are currently on a Compassion International trip in Kenya.  I’ve already been challenged and encouraged by a couple of the posts I’ve read this morning and it’s only their first day there.  If you’re not already sponsoring a child, I would encourage you to consider Compassion.  What they are doing for children and families suffering in poverty is nothing short of a miracle.  For 37 dollars a month, you can completely alter the course of a child’s life.  Just think about it.  And read their posts.

Also, my first post for STL Family Life will be up and running shortly is now up and running!  So check it out this afternoon.  Thanks everyone and enjoy what is shaping up to be a beautiful day.

Spring is almost here, yeah!

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Ministry, Random Tagged With: , ,

So we’ve got this snow

February 16, 2010 by

While I have not hidden my dislike for the season called winter, I have to admit that snow, when it’s just snow, is good fun.  And we’ve had good snow this year.  Usually St. Louis, being the armpit of the US, gets the nasty leftovers of everyone else’s weather.  Which means that we get ice instead of snow, or we get a dusting of permafrost while North and South of us is pummeled with powder.

But this year, like much of the rest of the country, we’ve seen much more snow than usual and it’s actually good snow.  And, while I’m more than ready for spring to, you know, spring into town (*groan*), I have enjoyed seeing the kids romp and slide down snow covered hills, munch on the frozen ground covering and make endless angels from one end of the yard to the other. 

Because it was a holiday yesterday, we braved the frigid temps to join our neighbors and sled one more time before all of this lovely snow beings to melt.  This means that yesterday got away from me so there are now piles of laundry laying all over the house, dried shoes prints on all the floors, dishes piled in the sink and a wicked smell coming from the fridge due to chives that were left unwrapped.  And all that needs to be dealt with today.  So I’m going to leave you all with a few shots and get to work putting my house back together.

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I hope you all are enjoying the cold weather and snow as much as we are!  But, the question begs to be asked – are you as ready for Spring as we are?

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life

The Winter Blues

February 11, 2010 by

It’s that time of year. The time of year when Lee and I both being ramping up our desire to move to Florida. The time of year when I drool over beachside properties. The time of year when I just struggle. 

It’s the time of year when I look at pictures like this one, which I took last June in South Caicos, and get a lump in my throat as I long for heat, shorts and the smell of salt in the air:

Lighthouse

 

I’ve never thought of myself as a bluesy person, but I’m really feeling bluesy this winter. Part of it is hormonal, I know that. I’m still trying to get things in order after the third born and my body is still not working the way it’s supposed to be working. But a lot of it is just this feeling of blah that comes with being cooped up a lot.

I’m tired of school schedules. I’m tired of the day in/ day out routine. I’m tired of everyone being on top of each other, fighting and bickering. I’m tired of trying to keep the house clean and fighting things like dripping snow boots and layers of clothing. I’m tired of laundry and I’m tired of the TV. I want to send my kids outside and know that they will stay there for a solid hour, expanding their imaginations and exercising their little bodies. Even they are feeling sluggish and blah.

We’re all just tired.

When I was growing up, our family moved to Wisconsin for six years. Wisconsin – the land of the never ending winter. I remember my mom getting very tired of the cold weather and snow and thinking she was loco. Snow was fun! The sledding, the snowmen, the igloos we built in six foot drifts. It was a blast!

Um, I get it now. Winter is not fun as a grown up. Sure, I might enjoy it if I got to sit inside in my jammies all day long reading a book in front of a roaring fire. But I don’t get to do that. 

The monotony of winter is what really kills me.  We can’t run out to the park to get out the afternoon squiggles; we can’t go to the Zoo to satisfy the itch for exploration; even running minor errands becomes a chore as we have to pile on jackets and sweatshirts – and then there’s the 6 year old, who hates, nay – loathes – wearing pants.  It’s a day to day struggle to get him to dress appropriately in the cold weather. 

I’ve given up, by the way.  I’ve decided to pick my battles and when we are home, if he wants to wear shorts and a T-shirt, he’s welcome to do that.  He knows to put on a sweatshirt if he gets cold.

So, I’ll quit complaining and get on to my question.  What do you guys do to break up the monotony of winter?  How do you fight the winter time blues with your kids?  What are some fun activities you do with your kids to keep the TV off and keep them from killing each other? 

Suggestions are not only welcome, they’re imperative to my sanity.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Random Tagged With:

The Birthday Party

February 8, 2010 by

We had The Birthday Party this weekend. The Birthday Party that required a lot and very little all at once. Because I just didn’t have it in my to host a party this year, we booked a gymnastics party for the 4 year old. It was well worth the money, in my oh so humble opinion.

Of course, there was a little preparation that went into the party. Namely, making the cake. In general, I like to buy the cake because, well, I’m not that good at making cakes. Actually, that’s not true. I can make a cake fine – I can’t decorate a cake.  Usually, when I try and decorate cakes it looks as if I did so while blind folded, while fighting off a rabid monkey. I’ll wait for a moment while you get that visual in your mind…

Got it?  I know…it’s bad.

But I was determined this time to accomplish the task of making the perfect cake.  And because I don’t know when to take a step back and tone it down, I decided to attempt this cake – the beloved Rainbow Cake from MckMama’s blog.

As expected, the making of the seperate cakes was a piece of…well, cake.  Ahem.  And, as expected, the decorating of said cake made me long for a stiff drink and a Prozac.  And Tia wanted purple icing to boot, so after several tubs of icing were sufficiently colored, I set to assembling the monstrosity cake.

It wasn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.  But it was pretty cute with the purple icing and the hot pink swirls at the bottom.  And, of course, when we cut into it and we saw the rainbow layers, I got ooh’s and aah’s from kid’s and mom’s alike.

But there was more to the party than just the cake!  Of course, my camera batteries ran out seconds after the party began so I didn’t get a lot of the actual party (Lee ran out to buy more before the cake and presents).  But I did get a few and rather than tell you about the party, I’ll let you look and see for yourself.

After all, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, right?

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Tia Tagged With: ,

From his perspective aka A really bad idea

February 3, 2010 by

Last night, a nurse lady came to our house to  torture us take our blood as we are planning on changing our life insurance policy.

Let me just make one things clear: I DON’T LIKE NEEDLES.  I had three babies ala naturál for a reason, folks.  Because I DON’T LIKE NEEDLES.  I avoid them at all cost.  I avoid them like I avoid math and science.  I avoid them like I avoid crickets.  I avoid them like I avoid the flippin’ plague.  If a needle being shoved into my body can be avoided then I AVOID IT.

So, I was not thrilled when Lee said we had to have this done.  I reminded him that we had just had this done not long ago and I remember because Sloan stepped on that nurse lady’s scale and broke it and she left a little peeved.

Lee reminded me that that was easily 3-4 years ago.  Blast!

So, when the nurse lady showed up, my hands immediately started sweating as did my upper lip.  Lee got all giggly because as she asked me all the family history questions my voice was curt and my words clipped.  I’m healthy as a horse and as family histories go, mine ain’t too shabby.  I was hoping that she would click her ball point pen, straighten up and proclaim me a fine specimen of health and waive the need for a blood draw.

She didn’t.

So Lee went first.  And while she was prepping him, I busied myself getting dinner on the table for the kids.  In retrospect, we probably should have had her draw the blood in a different room rather than at the kitchen table while the kids were eating.  But I wasn’t thinking about the kids in that moment.

I was thinking about how I was possibly going to avoid passing out in front my family.

As I prepared the drinks, nurse lady stuck Lee’s arm.  And our kids, who are fascinated by all things bloody, stopped mid-bite and stared…in horror.

“Uuuhhh…what is she doing to daddy?” Sloan asked, pizza rolling around on his tongue.

“She’s just testing his blood,” I replied and then swallowed so as not to hurl and further escalate the situation.

Clapping his hand over his eyes, Sloan suddenly got very dramatic (where does he get that?!).  “I don’t want to watch,” he said, his voice all shaky.

“You don’t have to watch, buddy,” Lee said.

“Please stop,” Sloan said.

“Why?” Nurse lady asked.

“Because.  I don’t want my dad to die!”

We all chuckled (well, I tried to chuckle, anyway).  “Honey, daddy’s not going to die.  You don’t die from getting your blood drawn,” I said. (Yeah right – what if you do?!?!)

“Uh-Yeah!”  Sloan exclaimed, dropping his hand and looking at me with very wide, very concerned eyes.  “Don’t you remember Marley?  They put a needle in his leg and he died!”

And we all laughed heartily.  Then Lee pretended to fall over dead.  And Sloan laughed with us…but it was more of a Hahaha, I’m totally serious about this but you all are laughing so I’m gonna laugh along even though I don’t get the joke sort of laugh.

Once we convinced him that nurse lady wasn’t actually trying to put daddy to sleep, he went about his business eating his pizza – though he did keep a wary eye on nurse lady as she prepped me for torture blood work.

And, I am happy to report that I did not faint, although Lee did stand behind me when she jabbed, erm, stuck me just in case.  There was a moment when she was switching tubes and she accidentally pulled the needle out of my arm causing blood to bubble up, which all around freaked me the kids out.  One look at my horrified face and nurse lady quickly assured me that she got enough in tube one so she wouldn’t need to restick me.

Good.  Cause I’da had to get ugly.

And that is the story of the day we nearly put Lee to sleep. 

According to Sloan, of course…

Filed Under: Family, funny stuff that happens, Kids do the darndest things, Sloan Tagged With: ,

Some kids want ponies…

January 29, 2010 by

We’re driving down the road in the (smokin’ hot) minivan when we pass it.  As we drive by, Sloan’s head whips around so far and so fast that I wonder briefly if he might be part owl given his ability to crane his neck to ungodly angles.

“Oh. my. gosh.  Mom.  Did you just see that?  Did you seeeeeee that?!  Wow!” he exclaims (and when I say exclaims I mean screeches to the point that my ears start to bleed).  He’s now all but sitting on his knees staring out the back window.

“What?” I ask.

“That yellow car.  Did you see it?”

I rack my brain.  I vaguely remember us just passing a yellow sports car.  “Yeah, I saw it,” I said.  “What about it?”

“I saw a Transformer head peek out the top.  It looked right at me!”

“Oh really?” I ask, highly amused.

“Mom – it was Bumblebee!  It really was mom.  I saw his head stick up out of the front of the car and he looked at me.  That was totally Bumblebee.  Totally Awesooooome.”

Upon arriving home, he sat in front of his bedroom window for a solid thiry minutes, “just in case Bumblebee comes to our house.”  And for days afterward, he reminded us that somewhere in the greater St. Louis area, a real life Bumblebee was on the loose.  “I wonder if Optimus Prime and Star Scream are in our city too?” he asked on more than one occasion.

A few days after the momentous Transformer sighting, Sloan came tearing into our bedroom where I was folding clothes laying down for a few minutes.  He had the phone in his hand and wanted to call his dad, who was out shopping for a new car. 

“Mom, can I puh-leeze call daddy and tell him to buy that yellow car we saw the other day.”

“Honey, I don’t think daddy is looking for a little yellow car – he needs a bigger car.”

“Aaawww…I really want him to bring that car home.  That way I could have my very own for real Transformer.”  And with his head hanging low, he moped out of the room.

Some kids want their parents to buy them ponies…mine – he wants an honest to God Transformer – and we won’t give it to him.

We’re so mean.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Kids do the darndest things, Sloan Tagged With: ,
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