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July

July 18, 2011 by

July, 2000 – Lee and I tie the knot

July, 2001 – We go to the Bahamas for our first anniversary

July, 2002 – We move from Dallas, Texas to St. Louis, Missouri

July, 2003 – We have our first child. And move into our first house.  All in the same week

July, 2005 – We find out we’re pregnant with baby number two

July, 2007 – I am finally able to come off of bed rest after a month due to almost losing child number three

 

July, 2010 – Lee and I celebrate ten years of marriage

July, 2011 – We move from St. Louis, Missouri to Tampa, Florida

 


Apparently big things happen to us in July…

Filed Under: Family, Life Tagged With: , ,

The Ribbons and the Ribbon Maker: A Repost

July 14, 2011 by

It’s only been a year since I first posted this, but I wanted to post it again.  We are headed into a hard week.  It’s time to say our official goodbyes.  On top of that, we did not find a house while we were in Florida and we’re discouraged.  It’s just going to be an emotional few days and as I think about the people who have been so tightly woven into our lives here in St. Louis, my heart breaks and my stomach twists.  I am the ribbon being tugged away this time, preparing to be placed alone in a new town and await the beauty that comes from being rewoven.

We covet your prayers these next few days.  And I pray that you can identify those who are woven into the fabric of your own life with deep gratitude and thanks.

THE RIBBONS AND THE RIBBON MAKER

Six ribbons, each a different length, a different size and all quite unique.  The Ribbon Maker looked at His ribbons and decided that they would be better if woven together so He carefully and skillfully began braiding them.  One over another with careful precision He wound the ribbons until they were a cord.

It was a strong cord and the weaving made each ribbon stronger.  Until one day one of the ribbons felt a tug.  She looked up and watched as the Ribbon Maker began pulling her away.  She looked at the other ribbons in the cord.  “I think the Ribbon Maker is calling me away,” she said.  The ribbons looked up and saw that it was so.  Though it saddened them to see a piece of the cord leave, they were thrilled when the Ribbon Maker left behind a thread – a splash of the ribbon He was taking away.

“I’m going to make a new cord using this beuatiful ribbon as my starting point,” the Ribbon Maker said as He lovingly carried away his ribbon.

Then there were five ribbons.  They were still strong and with time they grew tighter and tighter as a unit.  Until one day one of the ribbons looked up.  She felt a tug and noticed that the Ribbon Maker was looking at her.  “I think the Ribbon Maker wants to take me away,” she said to the group.  The other ribbons were sad.  How could they remain a strong cord if another ribbon was pulled away?

Once again, as the Ribbon Maker carefully unwove His ribbon from the rest, he left behind a thin cord.  Next to the other four ribbons, the two cords left behind revealed a lovely pattern.  “Don’t worry,” He told his ribbons.  “I’m going to take her someplace new and begin a new cord.  And you all will be stronger for it.”  And with that He carried the ribbon away.

For some time, the four ribbons remained and just as the Ribbon Maker promised, they grew stronger and tighter.  The threads of those who were carried away remained a strong presence in their unit and they each grew strong individually as well.  But one day the Ribbon Maker looked at His cord and decided it needed a new ribbon.  So, as only the Ribbon Maker can, He brought in a new, vibrant ribbon to weave into His cord.  It took a bit of work to fit her in just right, but with time He had her woven in such a way that it was as if she had always been there.  And the cord was strong.

Until…

One of the ribbons looked up.  She felt the tug and knew it was time.  All of the ribbons began to wonder why the Ribbon Maker continued to pull them away when they were so strong together.

“Trust me,” said the Ribbon Maker.  “I need her to start a new cord, but her presence will always remain within this cord.”

And He carefully pulled out a thread and left it behind.  The cord was beautiful and strong, though the ribbons left behind felt sad as they looked around and saw how many had been tugged away.  What began as six ribbons had become five, then four, then five again and now four.  Four ribbons with three vibrant threads woven in.  What was the Ribbon Maker up to?

“I am weaving you together to make you strong,” He told them gently.  “I need you strong so that I can use you to start new cords, strengthening my other ribbons.  If I leave you all together too long what use is that to the ribbons who have no one to join with them?  Don’t you know that there are threads of each of you left behind in different cords?  Don’t you remember how I’ve tugged you away and used you to start new cords?  My ribbons are each created with a unique beauty and that beauty is only enhanced when they are woven amongst one another.  But I can’t leave my ribbons in one place for too long or they get tired, comfortable, and they lose a bit of their shine.  You are a beautiful cord and you have grown into strong ribbons.  I am using you to weave a beautiful tapestry.  Trust Me.”

“If one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him.  A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.”  Eccelesiastes 4:12

To the women who have been woven into my heart by the Ribbon Maker over the last year and a half, I love you.  I am stronger because of you.  I am grateful for you.  The threads of those who have gone on (or are preparing to move on) are still visible and we continue to pray for you as you begin braiding a new cord of ribbons.  You are being delicately woven in Costa Rica, in Dallas and, soon, in Cleveland.  And for those who remain, I’m hanging on for ride because it appears to me that the Ribbon Maker has a grand plan for our braided little group.

Filed Under: faith, Family, Life, Random

House Hunting

July 12, 2011 by

It’s not nearly as fun as it looks on HGTV.  But we’re encouraged.  That’s what we’re up to this week!  We’ve found several houses that we like that could be strong potentials for our family, but it’s a very daunting thing to try and pick a house in a town you don’t know with only a three day window.  We may take some time.  Or we may buy a house…we found several we liked today.  We’ll see them again tomorrow.

We want to make the right decision for our children, for ourselves.  It’s different down here – different in a good way and in a bad way.  It’s just hard.

Hard to say, really.  We don’t know what we’re doing.  This is part of the adventure.  The best part of all of this, though, is that we KNOW God is in control.  We have no doubt and we are excited about  that…if not intimidated.  And nervous.  And grateful.  And in awe.  We’ve been praying the He establish us in the area that He needs us most.  I trust fully that we will see the answer to that prayer in time.

We’re also dreading the goodbyes to come.

So that’s what we’re doing this week.  What are you up to?

Filed Under: Family Tagged With:

Eight

July 10, 2011 by

“Mom.”  Hot breath on my cheek stirs me from the deepest of sleep.  “I have a stomach ache.  Can I sleep with you?”

I mumble something incoherent that he and I both interpret as a yes and he burrows under the covers.  His hair smells clean, freshly washed just before bed.  I’m poised to drift back to dreamland, but for a conscious moment, I relish him close.

He sucks in a deep breath.  It’s sharp.  Pain.

“Are you okay?” I ask, more awake now.  He clutches his side and pants.  It’s probably an air bubble, but in my sleepy haze I immediately assume appendicitis and I push on the lower right side of his abdomen.  “Does that hurt?”

“Ow!  Yes, that hurts!”

“Oh…sorry.”

In the next moment, he is wrapped around me.  Knees and elbows swathed in a narrow frame.  His nose is in my neck, his arm flung across my waist.  He’s hot and I’m immediately uncomfortable.  I’m so tired and my first thought is to push him off on his father who is snoring on the other side of the bed.

But then I stop.  His breathing slows and falls into a quiet rhythm.  In, out.  In, out.

It’s just as it was back when he used to fit a little more snuggly in my arms.  Back when I couldn’t wear his flip flops and his hands weren’t nearly as big as mine.  Back when his hair was a white blonde fuzz on top of his round head.  And instead of pushing him away, my arms engulf him and squeeze tight.

Because I miss back then.  I miss it.

But for a few short hours, I got to relive those moments.  I didn’t sleep much…or at all.  Somehow, though, sleep didn’t matter, just as it didn’t matter back then.  Because the moments fade so fast.  When morning light pierced through the darkness, he finally stirred and unwound his spindly body.  He looked up at me, all blue eyes and freckles.  And eight years passed me by in an instant.

“Hey Mom,” he said with a sleepy grin.  “Can I have some Nutella for my birthday breakfast?”  And as he dashed off to conquer the day, I remained behind.  Tired and teary.  Grateful for a night of little sleep and thankful for those brief, still moments when he snuggled close and held tight.  Those moments will soon be no more.

Happy Birthday, Sloan.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Motherhood, Sloan Tagged With: , ,

It’s Not You, It’s Me

July 7, 2011 by

The kiss of death for any relationship.  Can I see a show of hands, ladies?  How many of you actually used this cliche line when breaking a poor boy’s heart.  Relentless, we ladies are.  But I’m not here to talk about relationships.  I snagged my man a long time ago and have never once even considered breaking things off.  I know a good catch when I find one and me? I got a good catch.

I’m talking about parenting.  You know…’cause I’m a Mom Blog (Capital ‘M’ Capital ‘B’).   About 6 weeks ago I sat down with a friend to discuss the ins and outs of homeschooling.  Have I mentioned we’re considering that for next year?  I haven’t?  Ah…that’s another post for another day.  But, yes, we are.  I began considering it before we knew we were going to move and now I’m considering it because we’re going to move.  I’ll explain more later.

As I soaked in this veteran homeschool mom’s wisdom (her oldest just graduated high school) I relayed to her my fears.  My biggest fear was what if I can’t do it? What if it ruins my relationship with my child to be with him all day long?  What if a wall of bitterness comes between us?  What if I fail?

I didn’t like her answer.  I mean, I did.  But I didn’t.  *sigh*  I’m not making much sense, am I?

“I’ve found,” she said in her sweet and gentle way, “that whenever I am having personality conflicts with one of my kids, it’s usually my heart issue that needs to be dealt with.”

BAM! Right to the gut.  You mean I have to take responsibility for my own actions?  Parenting doesn’t give me a free BecauseISaidSo pass?!  No body mentioned this to me when I left the hospital with my bundles of joy, by the way.  There was no sign on the way out that read, “WARNING: Parenting is hard work and more than likely when you lose your patience it will be your fault and not the child’s.”

But the thing is, I know she’s right.  I’ve known that a long time, but I haven’t really sat and simmered with that understanding.  When I lose my temper with my kids, 9 times out of 10 the problem is mine.  In the interest of full disclosure, I’ll give you an example.

Yesterday I took the kids on a bit of a Tour de St. Louis.  We hit up the City Garden, the St. Louis Science Center and the Loop all in the span of about six hours.  And it required a lot of in and out of the (smokin’ hot) minivan.  I don’t know about your kids, but something happens to mine when they step inside a van.  Whatever it is is definately not hot.  The second they sit in their seats, it’s starts.

“Mom! Landon’s copying me!”

“Mom, Sloan called me a dodo-head!”

“Mom! Tia stuck her tongue out at me!”

“Mom! I’m being bullied!”

And on and on it goes until I’m blue in the face.  My grandmother, when her kids were making her crazy like this, used to get in their faces and say, “My name’s not Mom anymore.  It’s horses butt and you’re not allowed to say that so you can’t call me anymore.”  Can I tell you how tempted I’ve been to pull that line out of my back pocket?  I think her sister had a little bit of a spicer version of that line that she used on her kids…

So, riding in the car?  Not so fun.  Sloan tends to take the brunt of the pestering because he gives the biggest reaction.  Lee and I are constantly telling him to ignore them and let us be the parents.  He has a tendency to…ahem…step in and take matters into his own hands.  This usually winds up with him in trouble.  He’s slowly learning that lesson.

So yesterday we spent some time driving and by the third time in the van everyone was a little frayed.  We had been having a lot of fun and everyone had behaved marvelously, until they got in the van and it started immediately.

And I snapped.  I turned into that mom.  The one that looks all wild and huffy.  I pulled over on the side of the road and let loose – bad mommy style.  As I drove down the street again, oppression set into my chest.  I glanced in the rearview mirror at my kids faces.  They were quiet, Sloan had tears in his eyes and I felt terrible.

It wasn’t them.  It was me.  I was tired and a little fried from a long morning.  Tia and Landon had been merciless in their pestering of Sloan and he had snapped, but he was tired too.  And he’s only 7.  I’m old enough to supposedly know how to control myself.  So I pulled the car over again.  I asked them to forgive me for losing my temper and hugs went around to all.

Then we sang “Kumbaya.”  It was beautiful.

When I lose my patience with my kids, it’s my fault.  Because the kids are just acting like…kids.  Generally I lose my patience when I haven’t taken the time to really deal with an issue.  I brush it aside until it escalates out of control then I look at the kids like it’s their fault.  But if I would just take the time to deal with things instantly, we wouldn’t have the escalation. All it requires on my part is a little bit of time, energy and focus.  Lazy parenting is not allowed.

It’s not them…it’s me.  Can anyone else relate to this?

Filed Under: Family, Motherhood Tagged With: , ,

Give My Regards to Broadway

July 6, 2011 by

After some thought, I decided to take my earlier post down.  I was upset and hurt and processing, but decided that ultimately I didn’t need to have all of that out in the world wide web.  To those who commented, thank you and sorry I had to subject you to my crazy.  To those who missed it…lucky you.  And now, without further ado…I give you more of my life..

Riveting…

When I was a little girl, I had two goals in life: Grow up and become a gold medal winning gymnast and  become a famous movie star/singer.  Two things happened to squash those dreams – I wasn’t a very good gymnast due to my tall frame, inflexibility and terror of the high beam (do you know how narrow that things is?!).  I made it to level 7 where back handsprings on the beam were a requirement and thus ended my gymnastics career.  Well, that and a stress fracture in back.  I typically like to give people that as my excuse for quitting – it sounds cooler.

The famous actress thing died when I discovered that I stink at auditioning.  Seriously…stink at it.  Give me a room of 1,000 people and I will happily sing and ham it up all day.  Give me a room of two and I go mute.  Odd?  Yes, I would agree.  It took one semester in Baylor’s theater department for me to figure out that acting would eat me from the inside out.  So I waved goodbye to the dream and grew content with the occasional performance of the “for fun” variety.

In the last six months, however, I’ve had the opportunity to get a little stage time that I don’t usually get.  Singing in church doesn’t count.  I actually work really hard at NOT standing out on stage at church.  Because I naturally lean toward the, ahem, dramatic, I have to be very careful of my heart before I walk on stage to lead worship.  It’s not about me and it’s not about performing.

So when I got the opportunity to perform…well, let’s just say the little girl inside of me skipped a little.  And squealed and clapped her hands while jumping up and down.  Singing in this year’s VP Parade was a big slice of heaven for the little girl in me.  It was fun.  Lots and lots of fun.  I was backed by some of the greatest jazz and blues musicians in the business.  Men like Scott Alberici and “Red” Lehr, among others.

And I had fun.  It was sweltering and yes, my dress did look a bit like a muumuu, but I was on stage with a microphone in my hand singing Give My Regards to Broadway.

Fu-un.

I hope the rest of you had as magical of a 4th as I did!  I’m off to squeeze in as much St. Louis fun as I can before we have to leave.  It’s all happening very fast now… (click on the pictures to see them a little closer up)

 

Filed Under: Family, Holidays, Ju;y 4th, Life Tagged With: , , , , ,

We’re moving to Florida

July 2, 2011 by

In February we met with a realtor to discuss putting our house on the market.  We were ready to upsize.  We wanted more space for ourselves, for our children and we wanted to be able to host out of town family when they came to visit.  That was our plan.

God had a different plan.

On April 6, our house officially went on the market and we began looking at new homes here in town.  A few weeks later, Lee got wind of a job opportunity in Tampa, Florida.  We’ve always wanted to live in Florida so whenever a job opened up down there we checked it out.  The thing is, we love St. Louis.  We’re so deeply blessed here that for us to pull the trigger on moving was difficult.  No job ever felt good enough for us to actually make that move.

Until this one.

Lee got really excited about this job potential.  More excited than I’ve seen him in a long time.  But I wasn’t sure.  There were other things playing out in my mind and heart and I was kind of at the point where I was ready to abandon the dream of living in Florida and stake our claim in St. Louis forever.  So I waited skeptically while Lee interviewed.

We decided to put our house hunt on hold until we found out more about the viability of the job.  About five weeks ago, we got the call from our realtor that we had an offer on our house.  At this point we’d heard little from the people in Tampa so we began looking again at homes locally.  But two days after the house went under contract, Lee was asked to fly to Tampa for an interview.

This is the part of the story where I began developing an ulcer.

I waited as my husband flew to Tampa for two days to interview.  And while I waited, I prayed.  I prayed that the Lord would give us wisdom to make the right decision.  Like I said, we’re terribly blessed here.  And a large part of that blessing stems from our amazing church family.  The thought of leaving our church home and the friends we have there makes my stomach tie into knots.  But I don’t ever want fear of change to hold my family back, so I determined to loosen my grip on the familiar and embrace what God might have for us.

I can’t go into all the details of how God showed us His plan, but I can say that He answered my prayer above and beyond what I imagined.  I asked Him to make it obvious if we should go and He really did.  From things like our house selling at exactly the same time the company needed to make the new hire, to our roof needing to be replaced and insurance covering it, to our furnace needing to be replaced and home warranty covering, and on and on the list goes…

OBVIOUS.

God placed random strangers into our lives to speak such wisdom and peace into us that both of us began to shake our heads in awe.  From someone sitting by Lee on the airplane down to Tampa to a bartender, God used others to give us peace in this decision.  It’s truly been amazing.

We did not mention this to many people because we just weren’t sure what would happen.  It’s tricky when a lot of life plays itself out online.  These matters become much more delicate.  We didn’t want Lee’s current company to get wind of this, obviously.  Nor did we want anything said to our kids inadvertently.  But it’s been hard.  We have tried to answer questions honestly without giving too much information away.  It’s felt deceptive, but I sincerely hope that everyone understands that that was never our intention.  This has been a difficult process for us.

On Tuesday of this past week, Lee’s paperwork cleared and he was officially given the job that would move us from St. Louis to Tampa.  We closed on our house the next day.  Once again, God confirmed in our hearts His plan.

But this is hard.

This is really, really hard.  Painful.  Lee will leave in two weeks to begin working in Florida.  The kids and I will leave a few days after him.  And my heart is ripping in half.

My family moved to St. Louis when I was 12.  Though I lived in Texas for six years, St. Louis was always home base.  For 21 years, this has either been home, or home base.  Minus the wicked winters…and crazy tornadic springs, I love everything about this town.  Especially the people.  Lee and I moved here a year before Sloan was born.  This is the place we became a family.  We have friends who have poured into us for the last nine years, watching us grow, watching our children grow and giving us some of the sweetest years of our lives.

I’m sad to leave.

But I’m also excited.  Like I said, living in Florida has been a dream of ours since we got married.  We have family down there and we love everything about the beach.  Our kids have been begging us to move to Florida for years.  They’re thrilled.  And we are too.  But it’s tempered by the dread we feel to leave.

So that’s where we stand.  We are spending our last couple of weeks in St. Louis doing all the things we love to do, spending as much time with friends as we can, and shedding a lot of tears.  We are also rejoicing in the Lord’s provision and look forward expectantly as we await what He would have for us next.

I said it before…new adventures await us.


Filed Under: faith, Family, Life, Random, summer fun Tagged With: , , ,

Time Capsule

June 29, 2011 by

 

An empty shell

 

Each room echoing with memory

 

Laughter, love, a haven

More than bricks and mortar

Each room a time capsule of life lived

Blessings fulfilled

We said goodbye and now we decompress

 

New memories await us.

Right now, though…

Wine awaits me.

Filed Under: Family, Kids, Life, Random, summer fun Tagged With: , , ,

Happy Bulleted Monday

June 20, 2011 by

Alternately titled: My Super Lame Post

– I have nothing ground breaking to say today.  I probably shouldn’t even be posting.  But I’m a blogging junkie so I feel the need to subject you to all kinds of random.  I’m compelled.

– I’m sorry.

– I’ve gotten two solid nights sleep in a row.  Break out the bubbly!  I may or may not have taken a tiny little sleep aid to help make that happen.  It became quickly apparent that if I didn’t do something to get more sleep I was not going to be emotionally capable of handling the move out of the house.

– Speaking of the move, we packed our first POD this weekend.  The walls of my home are echoing now.  And I am walking through my days singing this song on a continuous loop:  01 Sentimental Journey That’s me singing, by the way.  It was recorded at a gig I sang at last January.  And I can’t get the song out of my head, folks.  I AM on a sentimental journey.  I look at my empty house and I see my life.  I remember walking through the front door with the weight of a newborn in my arms and the rush of new mom emotions in my heart.  I see my kids first teetering little steps, I hear baby cries and giggles, I see toddlers sipping hot chocolate for the first time, I hear first words spoken and I watch the progression of my life as a Mom.  I see our life so clearly for the last eight years in this sweet little house.

– Or maybe I’m just seeing ghosts…I dunno.

– In two days I’m getting on a plane bound for Northern California where I will spend the rest of the week working on my novel in solitude, catching up with sweet friends in the evening and soaking up some perspective as I step away from it all.  The timing couldn’t be worse, but the trip was planned months before the closing of our house was and I can’t help think that God needs to get me by myself for awhile.  Probably to get me off that sentimental train.  So maybe the timing is just right.

– I’m getting my hair fixed today.  I say fixed for a reason.  It’s painfully crazy right now.  Think two toned straw…that’s what’s on top of my head.

– A bulleted post leads to random, boring facts you never knew you wanted, doesn’t it?

– Father’s Day was yesterday. I hope that didn’t come as a surprise to any of you.  Can I just tell you how blessed I am?  I am surrounded by amazing fathers: My dad, my father-in-law and my husband.  I have so much respect for these three men that sometimes I feel like I might burst.  They are wise, funny, loving and precious and I’m beyond grateful for each one.

– I hear Landon stirring in the next room, which can only mean one thing: My quiet morning is about to implode.  He wakes up sure that the world itself is going to come to an end unless he gets a drink immediately. There is wailing and weeping and whining galore until that sippy cup hits his lips, at which point he turns from devil child back to an angel.

– Apple juice has magic powers.

– I took the kids to the Botanical Gardens last Friday.  It was a ton of fun and I got great pictures…until the sky turned green and melted into an ugly storm while the kids and I were trapped inside a glass encased building with Sloan huddled on my lap praying fervently for the second coming of Christ.

– I told Tia how babies get out of a Mommy’s tummy a couple of weeks ago.  Her reaction was priceless.  I’ll share the full story soon.

– This is the part of the post when I quit subjecting you to the random that is floating through my muddied brain.  I’m off to fill that ever important cup of juice and begin yet another day of packing up my earthly possessions.  Fun.

– I can’t think of a clever way to end this post I’m just going to leave you with this to start your week off right:

You’re welcome.

Filed Under: Family, Life, Random Tagged With: , , , ,

Living Life: Practicality vs. Wisdom

June 14, 2011 by

There’s a certain thing that happens when you become a parent.  It happens in different degrees and forms for everyone, but we all experience this phenomena:

We become practical.

It’s just natural for a certain amount of practicality to set in once that bundle of joy lands on your doorstep.  Suddenly life takes on a whole new meaning.  That money you used to spend on late night Sonic runs now gets applied to diapers or formula or a set of plastic keys for your little one to rattle.  And you forget what it was like to dash out for a snack at 11:00 at night anyway because, you know, practically speaking it’s not wise to leave the baby home unattended.

Practicality.

Where life was once an adventure, now you have to think about jobs and income and houses and schools.  You have to consider how your decisions will affect not only yourself or your spouse, but also your child or children.

Practicality.

Some people are very good at remaining spontaneous, even with children in tow.  Have you heard about the family that is driving around the world, living nomadically, raising their children on the road?  They’ve been on the road for 11 years, all four of their children born in a different country.  I don’t desire that life, but I envy their courage.  What they’re doing isn’t practical, but it’s pretty dang cool.

Or this family, whom Lee met recently on an airplane.  After adopting a little girl from China, they felt a strong prompting from the Lord to return to their daughter’s birth country and open up an orphanage for special needs children.  So they went.  They packed up their three young children, sold all their possessions and went.

“What organization did you go with?” Lee asked.

“No one,” came the astonishing reply.  “We just asked the Lord to provide and He has.”  Through charitable donations, they have raised enough to build a five story building where they currently house 34 children with various special needs from cleft palates to cerebral palsey.  And they’ve never asked for a cent.

That’s not practical.  But it’s pretty dang spectacular.

I used to fancy myself a bit of an adventurer.  I didn’t think twice about hopping on a plane as a 20 year old and exploring the former Soviet Union on my own.  I didn’t flinch when I spent 36 hours on a train to Prague by myself, half the time trapped with a horny Iraqi German (I know…).  I relished walking the streets of London by myself.

When Lee and I went to Europe last year, I once again found my adventurous roots.  I loved not having a plan, living in the moment, exploring, living.

But I’ve felt trapped in practicality for awhile.  This isn’t a bad thing, in some regards.  Obviously parenthood requires a certain amount of practicality.  We have to provide for our children.  We have to give them stability and they do need a certain amount of material possessions to feel secure.  Of course, our Western world children (as I’m sure yours as well) have far more than they need for security and stability, but as a parent I want to give them good things.  Just as I know the Lord wants to give me good things.

But I’m a little tired of feeling held back by practicality.  Because there’s a very fine line between practicality and fear. And I think that sometimes?

I blur that line.

I’m not going to act on passion because I tell myself it wouldn’t be practical for my family.  But really, I’m just too scared to try it.  I’m not going to follow a dream because it would be terribly impractical to do so.  ‘Fraidy Cat! As a couple, Lee and I always talk about all the cool things that we’d like to do with the kids and expose them to, but most of them seem too lofty and impractical to really pursue.

We’re scared.

What will people think?  What if it takes us out of our comfort zone?  What if we fail?  What if it requires us to leave all that we know?  Where is the practicality in that?

Here’s the thing: I don’t think God calls us to be practical.  I think He calls us to be wise.  We are not to live in fear.  “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do  not anxiously look about you for I am your God.”  Isaiah 41:10.  We are called to wisdom, not practicality.  Men are called to provide for their families, and that will look differently for everyone.  For some, that means a stable job in a good home where they can minister to, and meet the needs of, those in their local community.  For others still, that means selling all you have and leaving.

One of those scenarios is practical, one is not.  But for the two men who are guiding and leading their families according to God’s calling placed in their hearts – both are wise.

Does that make sense?

So Lee and I together are working on, and learning, to let go of the shackles of practicality.

Walk in faith.

Live in wisdom.

Cry out to Jesus.

Do not be afraid.

That last one’s a doozy.

Filed Under: faith, Family, Lee, Motherhood Tagged With: , , ,
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