I have a post rolling around in my head, but I’m too tired today to be creative, so I will celebrate Wordless Wednesday a day early. Lovey Bear was in the mailbox waiting for us last night. Yes, Rachel, I do believe I would have paid $100 for him because the look on her face was priceless…

I can’t believe how quickly this month has gone by. We have only three days left until we have to pack up and head home. This brings on mixed emotions. I am excited to get back home and get back into a routine. I am excited to see friends again and be in my own house. But, I really love it down here and really love being here – and so do the kids. It’s going to be hard for them to leave. Lee got here Thursday night and we’ll all go home together on Monday night. So the next few days will be spent packing in the things that we want to do just one more time. Beach, pool, beach, pool, park, pool, beach, wave runner, pool, etc… Good times.

It’s 12:30 and I couldn’t sleep. I started thinking about lovey bear again so I decided to get up and search ebay again. Guess what? I FOUND ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just paid $30.00 for it, which I know is ridiculous, but my baby girl is still asking for her lovey and doggonit, I found one so I just bought it. I can’t believe it. Now, I think I’ll get some rest.

(forgive the picture of a picture – my resources are limited)

When Lee and I were engaged, I went on a service project to a run down nursing home in the heart of Waco. While there, I sat down and talked with a fascinating man named Abe. Abe’s wife had passed away just a few weeks earlier and for an hour he told me stories about their life together. Wonderful stories of a time when love seemed so real and tangible – of leaving for the war and kissing his bride one last time before departing; of summer days filled with reading out on their front lawn and driving around Lake Waco. His stories were endless and laced with longing to return to those carefree days, yet not filled with an ounce of regret over a life well lived and loved. Over the course of that hour, Abe told me countless times that he and his precious wife had been married for 60 years, 4 months and 22 days before she died. What a sweet time that was for me.

Later that day, I told Lee all about Abe. This was early on in our engagment and I was filled all sorts of romantic notions as I excitedly planned our wedding. About a week later, I went on a trip with my dad to Los Angelos and while there, I found the wedding band that I wanted to give Lee. My mind and heart soaring with giddy infatuation over my husband to be, I had the jeweler engrave on the inside of the ring, 60 yrs, 4 mths, 22 dys +…

Well, my husband and I are 8 years into that goal. And it’s been a wonderful eight years. Even though I laugh a little now at the cheesy-ness of that phrase, it’s still my hope that we are granted a long, blessed life together. Lee is my best friend, my confidant, the man that I truly look forward to spending the rest of my days with and I pray that for the next 52 years, 4 months and 22 days + we will enjoy one another’s company. He makes me laugh on a daily basis, he’s the most spectacular father and he’s more than I could have ever hoped for in a mate. I love you babe. Happy Anniversary.

(Here are the kids and I, the three greatest achievements of our marriage, with the flowers that Lee sent me for our anniversary today)

Sloan recently learned the rhyming song – you know, “Beach, Beach bo Beach, Banana Fanana Fo Feach, Me Mi Mo Meach, Beach.” Well, he sang truck the other day and with perfect enunciation belted out, “Truck, Truck bo Buck, Banana Fanana Fo F*&k…” And, for some reason, he really liked the sound of that one and kept singing it over and over. I was trying to play it cool because I knew if I made a big deal out of it, he would really catch on. He didn’t know he was saying a bad word and if I laughed or freaked out, he would, then I would always be telling him not to say it. Well, ignoring him was not going to work because he kept singing Banana Fanana for F*&k over and over. Finally we suggested he try singing Van.

Here are a couple more pictures per my mother in law’s request! We went to the beach today and buried ourselves in the sand. Good times. Happy Monday!

*update: I have literally searched the internet until my eyes hurt and haven’t even found anything similar to lovey. Tia is doing alright, bless her heart, but she doesn’t understand. She keeps asking for lovey and can’t seem to understand that he’s lost. When we took LEe to the airport tonight, I asked Tia and Sloan if they wanted to go. Tia ran and got her shoes and came up to me grinning and asked (in Tia speech) if we were going to get lovey. Her little face was so expectant. I think she thought we were going to retrieve him and it broke my heart all over again. I have some women named Rosemary looking for me. She actually makes a living searching for lost loveys! Crazy. I called the hotel again about 20 minutes ago and got someone else who put me on hold to go check and see if anything had been found. Right afterward my phone disconnected and I haven’t been able to get through since. AAAAAGGHH! So, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll get through soon and she’ll magincally say she found him! No such luck – they do not have him but there is still the possibility that he got tangled up in the bedding. It will be a couple more days before they get all the linenes sorted out and washed so a tiny flicker of hope is alive. Hope with me, will you?

We went to SeaWorld this weekend. I’ll share more pictures later, but right now I’m so heartbroken I have to post this as a way to grieve. Tia got a little purple and white lovey bear when she was born and fell in love with it and since she was a little, little baby has carried it everywhere she goes. Lovey bear was a part of her and part of our life as I was CONSTANTLY looking for him. When she got hurt, she wanted lovey bear. When she was tired, she needed lovey bear. Lovey bear was her comfort. And as much as it annoyed me to have to search for him ten times a day, I loved lovey bear as much as her. But today, we lost our beloved lovey bear. And guess who’s struggling with it the most? MOMMY! I am just so sad, I’ve cried all afternoon. Every time I think about it or someone mentions it, my eyes well up with tears. I’m a mess! We think we left him in the hotel room in Orlando and we’ve called the hotel twice to talk with them about it. They’ve assured us that housekeeping will be on the lookout for the beloved bear but it could be a day or two, especially if he got stuck in the linens. She actually just came out of her bedroom asking for her lovey and she’s now laying in bed crying, and I’m bawling as I type this. I know that in the grand scheme of life this is not a big deal, but that little bear was a piece of her. It was a part of her babyhood and a part of who she was and I’m just so sad. I keep praying that the hotel will just call and say they found it, but I’m afraid that they won’t. I’ve spent a good hour scouring the internet for another one, but it’s been so long and it’s such a random little thing that I can’t imagine ever finding another one. But, if any of you are internet savvy, it was a purple and white Animal Alley panda lovey. And if you find one, I will literally be indebted to you for life. So, there it is. Today’s trauma. Here are a couple pictures of Tia and lovey that I took last week.

My dear boy,
You are five years old today. I can’t believe it. I’ve heard the saying that the days are long but the years are short and today I really believe that. Five years ago today, I looked into your face for the first time and I knew you right away. You rushed into this world (and I mean rushed) surprising all of us with how big you were. Nine pounds, three ounces! Two days earlier the doctor told me you’d be around 7-8 pounds. You had enormous hands and long skinny feet. Your head was covered with the most beautiful white fuzz I’d ever seen. That was a special gift from God as I had secretly been hoping for a blonde baby. And you, my boy, have managed to stay big. Of course, you are no longer covered with all the adorable, squishy rolls and your cheeks are no longer fat and full, and I think you may have finally grown into those hands. No, all those things have been replaced by the body of a child. A grown up boy. Today, after lunch, daddy and I took you on a walk. You rode your new Razor scooter and we just marveled at how big you’ve gotten. Your arms are long and spindly, your back ripples with fresh little muscles, your legs are so skinny and strong. You’re a kid! How did that happen?

I love you so dearly. You are full of spunk and life. You are genuinely a funny kid. For a long time you were funny without even trying – now you are learning to be funny on purpose, which is even funnier. You are turning out to be a master mimic like me. You hear voices and you can repeat them quite well. It’s not a trick that will take you far in life, but it’ll get you a lot of laughs. You are polite and caring. You love to learn and read and hear new stories. You love it when I make up stories at night, but there are certain rules that I must always follow: the story must always revolve around a little boy, a little girl and their mommy, and it must always include some sort of talking animal. Telling you stories is an exercise in imagination for me, and memory as once I tell one you like I have to tell it over and over in minute detail. You are extremely athletic and amaze me at some of the things that you can do. Already at five you are riding a bike with no training wheels, swimming independently, climbing up poles, riding a two wheeled scooter like a maniac and scaring your poor mama half to death, and a whole host of other things. You amaze me sometimes, well all the time really.

I do confess that sometimes you are hard to parent. You challenge me in a lot of ways. I am sorely lacking in patience and some days you take mounds of patience. You are a great kid, but you are a bit too smart for your own good and sometimes I wonder if perhaps you may grow up to be a lawyer because I’ve never met someone who could argue and negotiate with abounding energy. I do not always handle things well with you and there have been many nights that I laid in bed praying that the Lord would protect your heart and mind from my failings. Despite my shortcomings, however, you are turning into such a gentleman. The other day we were in a store and you saw a young lady struggling to get out the door with a stroller. Without being asked, you walked over and opened the door for her and let her out, then told her to have a nice day. It was so grown up and I almost cried.

I pray that as you grow, you begin to have an ache in your soul for the things of God. I pray that the fire with which you approach situations is channeled into the things of the Lord. I pray that you know Him and love Him and grow up to serve Him and model Him. You are asking a lot of questions about God and Jesus and salvation these days. Your heart is ripe and I pray that your daddy and I have the wisdom and grace to answer your questions.

I love you so much, Sloan. I am so grateful that the Lord chose me to be your mom. I have enjoyed these last five years and look forward to the next five. Now that I know how fast they go, I will try harder to cling to the precious moments. You are a gift.