Out of the Mouths of Babes…and Mommies

Sloan recently learned the rhyming song – you know, “Beach, Beach bo Beach, Banana Fanana Fo Feach, Me Mi Mo Meach, Beach.” Well, he sang truck the other day and with perfect enunciation belted out, “Truck, Truck bo Buck, Banana Fanana Fo F*&k…” And, for some reason, he really liked the sound of that one and kept singing it over and over. I was trying to play it cool because I knew if I made a big deal out of it, he would really catch on. He didn’t know he was saying a bad word and if I laughed or freaked out, he would, then I would always be telling him not to say it. Well, ignoring him was not going to work because he kept singing Banana Fanana for F*&k over and over. Finally we suggested he try singing Van.

“Why, Mom?” he asked.

“Well, you’ve sung truck enough, let’s move on.”

“Is it a bad word?”

“Well, sometimes things just don’t sound right when you say them.”

“Is F*&k a bad word? Can I not say F*&k? What’s wrong with F*&k?”

“Okay, that’s enough. That’s just not a word we say so let’s not say it anymore.”

“What does F*&k mean?”

“Sloan, seriously, time for a new word.”

Sooooo…now I’ve got this word to deal with. Quite possibly one of the crassest words in the English language and my five year loves it. Lovely. I can’t wait for his teachers to call me about this one. Unbelievable.

And then there’s me…Sloan can ask an overwhelming amount of questions sometimes and really wants explanations for things. This can be daunting and at times, I come up with the most random things to tell him. For example, about a year ago, Sloan woke up crying in the middle of the night because he’d had a bad dream about a bear. I was in a sleep deprived stupor so I made little sense as I stumbled him back to bed. After he asked me for the 15th time if there were any bears where we lived I told him no, that bears only live in Oregon. That satisfied him and he fell back asleep. I went back to bed and after a few minutes thought, Did I just tell him that bears live in Oregon? To this day he still says that bears live in Oregon. God help the poor child if we’re ever transferred to Oregon. Then, the other day, Tia convinced herself and Sloan that there was a monster in the back of the condo and they were both all in a tizzy. A reasonable explanation would have been to tell the kids that there are no such things as monsters, but I knew that would go nowhere because in their little mind monsters are very real. So before I could stop and think, I heard myself tell them that monsters only live in Canada. Seriously? Canada? I don’t know where this stuff comes from.

Here are a couple more pictures per my mother in law’s request! We went to the beach today and buried ourselves in the sand. Good times. Happy Monday!


  1. heresthediehl says

    Oh. Sloan.

    I can’t believe you’re living on the beach this summer! So fun, and so many great pictures and memories.

    Can’t wait to see you guys!

  2. Three Against One says

    Oh my goodness I had a feeling that I knew where that blog was going but I was hoping for your sake that I was wrong.
    Hey between Claire loving to use her middle finger and flicking people off way too often and Sloan’s new found word, people are going to start wondering what we are teaching our kids on the White Tree block.
    Is your AC acting up I saw Lee out today with some heating and cooling guys, that’s a bummer for him it got up to 100 here today, gotta STL.

  3. blessedpath says

    Oh, I laughed soooo hard, my stomach hurts. So, what youre saying, is that i should be ready for Brooke to come home from school, one day, and when I ask her what she learned today, she’ll say the F word:) Man, that was funny!! We went to Subway with my friend Karen and her 2 girls and while her and I waited in a lonnnng line, the kids were horsing around in a booth. Chase and Julia(7) were playing around and C was putting his hand down her shirt!!!! I yelled from the line, Hey, mister you don’t do that to a girl……unless youre 30. The guy in front of me whipped around and said, Oh, that’s allowed when youre 30…. we had a good laugh…I said 30 bc that’s the first thing that came to mind, man, you have to think quick with kids, huh.

  4. Anonymous says

    Phew, I am glad the favorite cuss word in this house is still “poopy!” They say it like they are all cool…especially Sam.

  5. Hyser Family says

    Can’t stop laughing…


  1. […] you said bears live in Oregon.”  God help the poor child if he ever has to live in Oregon.  Don’t worry Oregonians […]