The winners and other stuff

Once upon a time I threw the biggest birthday party known to mankind. That’s only barely an exaggeration. When Sloan turned five, I threw a fire fighter birthday party and fell prey to fear, which led to me inviting every single person we knew and their entire families.

I have deep seeded people-pleaser issues.

I was so afraid of someone feeling left out that I just invited everyone I could think of assuming that with it being summertime many would be out of town and unable to attend,  but at least they would know I thought of them, right?

Almost every single person RSVP’ed. Twenty-nine (or more, I lost track) kids, 16 adults and a sprinkler. I have never done that again.

All that to say, I can’t choose just one winner from the Name that Photo contest. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and plus you guys flipping made me laugh so hard. I wouldn’t know how to start. I laughed out loud (I did NOT LOL…ugh) so much, then I went and reread the comments and laughed again. Out. Loud.

My readers are funny...and apparently know me too well.

Sloan mooning us? Nutella locked in the van? Draining noodles? Timmy trapped in a well? Fat tourists in thongs? 1-800-CONTACTS? Smokey Bones? Oh heavens…you guys are the best. So funny.

Well done all of you. VIRTUAL HIGH FIVE’S ALL AROUND. Hold your hand up…wait just a sec

There! High five. BOOM!

And here’s your side hug.

Now the super-duper feelings of awesomeness and glory will take a few days to get to you. You should all receive those by Monday at the latest. Be on the lookout…

In other news…

Today I am guest posting at Bohemian Bowmans on the impact Tanzania has had on my writing. Hop on by and check out the Bohemian blog – they’re Canadians now, dontcha know…

– In order to retain my Mom-Blogger card, I am required to post a recipe now and again. Otherwise my membership may be revoked and then I’ll be relegated to writing about, I dunno, politics or something.

*shudder*

 I’ve made these eggs twice this week and both times my first born, he who gags like he’s dying when I serve him eggs, has gobbled them up. So what’s in this magic eggs concoction?

– 1 leek, thinly sliced (leeks are like big, fat green onions – I had no idea…I’m not what you’d call a cook.) Sautee the leek in 2 T of butter and add one garlic clove chopped.

– 4 cups of Kale. Add the Kale to the Pan and pour in 3 T of white wine (you read that right), cover and let simmer until Kale is melted. Salt and Pepper to taste.

– Crack four eggs on top of the greens, put a lid on the pot and let cook on low until eggs have hardened and set. Serve hot and watch in amazement as your kids eat so much good stuff without complaining.

*This is not an original recipe. I got it out of Men’s Health magazine, which, naturally, I was only reading for the recipes… *nervous laugh*  

I want to Hulk Smash the alarm system in our house. I hate it. Every time the power trips, the alarm goes off. Last night the power tripped three times. When that alarm goes off in the middle of the night I wake up prepared to kill. It explains why today I am drinking this, which I only drink in the most dire of situations.

My hands are trembling uncontrollably right now.

– I downloaded all three Ingrid Michaelson albums today. I’ve loved her since “The Way I Am” came out, but lately we have been listening to the Over the Rhine station on Pandora and every time she popped up on the screen I got goosebumps. She’s freaky good.

– I signed all three kids up this week for gymnastics camp. I’ve had about three hours a day to myself. At home. ALONE. I had kind of forgotten what this felt like. It’s a little boring at times, but for the most part it has been entirely enjoyable.

Empty Minivans are HAWT!

Okay, I’ve talked enough. Now it’s your turn. Tell me something funny, or sad, or happy. What are you doing this weekend. Do you have a vacation coming up? Did your kid say something funny to you this week?

Who’s gonna make me laugh? Come on, help a sister out. I didn’t sleep much last night and you guys demonstrated yesterday that you are plenty funny so lay it on me.

Happy Thursday, friends.

Comments

  1. You would dig our smoke alarms. The one in Kristin’s room randomly trips when we turn on the light. This is pretty annoying but we’ve never been able to fix it. Recently we had houseguests who slept in that room and when I tried to explain it to them i experienced that principal. You know the one where the worst way to convince someone you’re sober is to try to act sober, even when you are in fact COMETELY SOBER. If you try to tell someone there is nothing wrong with the wiring in your home and NO reason to fear a smoke alarm that feels compelled to beep when a certain switch is turned on, what you will see is sudden looks of concern and their visit might actually get cut short…..wait a minute — I’m onto something here.

    • Can I get the name of your electrician? I’ve got a guest room that I’d like to get “wired.”

      I’ll use it for certain in-laws when they visit.

    • hehehe…

      The last time we had guests, our smoke alarm beeped the low battery warning sign in the middle of the night. We didn’t hear it, but they were up and down most of the night trying to get it to shut up. They finally took it off the wall, rolled it in a blanket and stuck it in their van until morning. It was a total Phoebe Buffey thing to do. Impressive.

      We’re all about giving our guests the five star treatment.

      • Bethany says:

        And then there is that awkward “why yes, yes you DID just see your smoke detector in the front yard, and will you continue to be our friends when we explain that we ripped down part of your home security system and locked it in our own minivan overnight” scenario. Priceless. Nice espresso, by the way 🙂

  2. Being as I’m new here and all…I feel honor-bound to tell you that it’s just not right for you to look so gorgeous after having 3 kids and a minivan and no sleep and barely there make-up on.

    Come ON lady. Are you KIDDING me with that youthful skin? BE A WOMAN! GROW A WRINKLE!

    *sigh* Logging off now to go bathe in a vat of Oil of Olay.

    • Shayne, if you knew how much money I spent regularly on face stuff you would be shocked. It is my addiction…. 🙂

      • Money well spent chick-let. Money well spent. I’d let Lee take a look at this comment whenever squaring the family budget comes up.

        • Oh buh-lieve me – I point out to him all the time the long-term benefits of my obsession with face creams. He’ll thank me when we’re in our 70’s and my skin is defying age…

  3. If there is one gem that I will take from this post and carry with me for years (or at least days) to come, it is the phrase “Hulk Smash”. It will be filed in my brain next to “Zebronks”, ready to be used at the next opportune time.

    • Ha! 🙂 Well, I’ll confess I did not come up with that on my own, I have seen other people use it, but yes – it is a great description.

      Zebronks is all mine, though. Use it at will. 😉

  4. Two things …

    1. Somebody needs to write a parenting manual that includes how to plan birthday parties without hurting feelings. Seriously. One time, I think it was when my now 5-year-old girl turned 3, a single friend got mad at me because I didn’t invite her. Um, no, I was inviting kids who were 2, 3 and 4 years old … and their parents. Because, really, I wasn’t taking care of 12 small children by myself.

    2. I laughed out loud at your spelling out “laugh out loud.” I cringe when people use LOL. So you’ve just won me over.

  5. You know what REALLY convinces people you are not sober? When you not only mispell a basic word, but you do it in all caps.

    You know what else? If we do the RV trip and I blog I will never ever ever LOL, SMH, ROTFL or insist we are doing this because YOLO. But I might make an exception for those times when you make me LSHIPAL (laugh so hard I pee a little).