Love, Marriage and the Stranger at the Bar

I got married about five minutes after finishing college. I felt so grown up and mature but really, I was a babe. I’m okay with this fact. I don’t regret the decision to marry young, nor do I regret starting a family shortly thereafter.

Mostly because this means I’ll still be young enough to kick up my heels and party when we get these kids shipped off to college.

And also because, you know, I love my kids and stuff…

Marrying so young means that I never experienced the dating scene. I met, fell in love with and married my husband in the span of about eighteen months. Before him I dated a few boys, but nothing serious. I don’t remember much, but I don’t think I would have been classified as a huge flirt in my younger years.

There was that unfortunate incident when I was seventeen on a yearbook trip to Kansas City when I took a boy up to my hotel room. I had impressed him with my Ace Venture impersonation. I’m not sure what he thought was going to happen in the hotel room.

What did I think was going to happen?!

We sat on seperate beds and I jabbered nervously until my teacher knocked on the adjoining door. I shoved him under the bed and flung the door open totally trying to act naturalΒ all the while looking extremely guilty (because I was guilty…). She asked who was talking and I was all, “Oh that? Haha…um that was the…TV! I was watching TV. Becaaaaauuuuuse I have…a…headache! And I, um, wanted to get away from everything for a bit. But…you know…I’m just gonna head back down to the party so…”

Oddly enough I’m not sure she bought my story, but she was cool enough to raise her eyebrow, nod her head and say, “Yes. Why don’t you go back to the party. Now.”

Me and the boy without a name (what was his name?!) fled quickly and I never did anything like that again.

Impersonating Ace VenturaΒ was a risky little game to play in the mid-ninties. But it was the only trick I had in my bag and it worked like a charm every time. Like I said, I wasn’t much of a flirt.

Last night I somehow managed to convince my husband to take me to a movie. He hates movies, but he loves me so he agreed. We saw The Lucky One. The movie was lame, but Zac Efron is pretty so I consider it time well spent. Afterward, we went to a restaurant to have a drink.

Sitting on the ouside couches, Lee and I enjoyed people watching. Apparently Thursday night is when ladies come out to this particular bar to meet men. This is something I never experienced so I always find it fascinating to watch people engage in this social dance.

“Do men really saunter up to women at a bar and flirt?” I asked Lee. “I thought that only happened in the movies!” My husband responded by laughing at me.

“I guarantee if I left you sitting alone at the bar for thirty minutes, someone would come up and hit on you,” he said. To which I responded with a laugh and utter disbelief. “Not tonight, of course,” he said quickly. “You’re not dressed right.”

I was wearing a skort and keds.Β A SKORT! It’s pretty cute, actually. But it screams stay-at-home mom. I didn’t know we were going to a fancy restaurant for drinks!

But really? I had no idea that happened in real life. I absolutely thought that only happened on the big screen. Naive? Maybe a little. Not that I care. Looking around I didn’t see one man that I’d want to come hit on me. Other than, of course, the handsome man sitting by my side.

I sometimes wonder if I missed a lot by marrying so young. There were definately things I could have experienced had I stayed single longer. But I don’t think I would have made a very good single because I didn’t see one single woman at that bar impersonating Ace Ventura. Not one!

I don’t think I would be good at playing the bar game…


  1. Girl, I’m beating even you at the marrying young and not experiencing the dating scene game. We married still in high school so we missed out on the whole college experience. College was night glasses and online classes snuck in between jobs and babies and stuff. Sometimes I wish I had a more care free young life, but there’s nothing I can do about it, eh? πŸ™‚

  2. I puffy heart love this post so freakin’ much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And wink, wink, ask your Groom about the conversation he had with Jeremy….um, well, or maybe you already know.

    So a skort huh? I’m gonna need to see a picture of this. You have pink hair and you wore a skort? Were you chewing Bubble Yum Bubble Gum? Did you say you were wearing Keds too?

    He he he he he he he…in russian accent I say in english “I kid, I kid”…

    I love you. I’m going now….

  3. Always thought your story was so romantic. Because that’s the kind of thing I’ve always wanted for me.

    I think it depends upon someone’s personality. Some people, who love dating and flirting, might say, “Oh you missed out.” I had a little more than a year of singledom after college before I met my hubby. I’m quiet and more introverted. I wasn’t good at dating or flirting. Plus I was very self conscious of my looks (& lack of breasts.) So that time for me wasn’t my favorite.

  4. P.S. If Lee would have left you alone at the bar for even 10 minutes you would have had several men come up to you. Even if you were wearing a skort and sensible shoes.

    • Yes. I’m not flirty and I have a feeling I’d laugh at someone who tried to use a line on me. Its not good to wound their pride Im told. πŸ˜€

  5. My husband and I have been together since high school, marrying a week after college graduation, so we both have little experience with dating and the bar scene. A few years ago, we were on a much needed date (3 toddlers at home). We sat at the bar, just because we could…no high chairs tonight! A drunkish guy starts talking to me, and my husband says “This is my sister, isn’t she pretty? Can you believe she’s had 3 kids?” My husband laughs hysterically as he watches the guy’s eyes light up. I play along a few minutes as I finish my beer quickly and say farewell to my new boyfriend;)

  6. I love your writing and your humor. I laughed through this entire thing!

    Those crazy yearbook trips and boys I tell ya πŸ™‚

  7. Mel cable says

    Oh think how much fun we would have had together though hitting up ladies nights together! Maybe we need to have a rendezvous experiment night out πŸ™‚

  8. Keds or no Keds, you have pink hair. Like duh, you’re gonna get hit on.

  9. Maybe one day you will post a video of you in the skort and keds doing the Ace Ventura impersonation. I’m sure it would draw LOTS of readers! πŸ™‚

  10. I married my man about five minutes after I graduated from college, too! Unfortunately I did cram a lot of bar time into those years between high school and marriage; you didn’t miss anything. I am just so thankful that Facebook and camera phones did not exist when I was in college. Thank you, Jesus, for that small mercy!

    A skort and Keds, huh?

    • It’s really cute! I swear!


      And amen to not having Facebook when we were younger. Ay yay yay… πŸ™‚


  1. […] At least it wasn’t a skort and Keds! Baby steps, people. Baby steps. […]

  2. […] so I try to lose the yoga pants whenever possible and upgrade to something super fashionable…like a skort. And if I’m feeling particularly ambitious, I might even put on a pair of skinny […]