So, whaddya think? The new design is up and there are a lot of new bells and whistles to figure out and play with so bear with me for a few days. But I am very excited about finally having a design and I’m very thankful to Joe for all of your help! I’ll post more tomorrow because right now I’m going to play with it a bit.
Archives for 2009
It’s My Party and I’ll Sleep if I Want To…
I’m 29 again today. It’s the weirdest thing. Last year I hit 30 and that was kind of fun. 30 felt so grown up and sophisticated, and since I was just barely out of my 20’s, it didn’t feel old. Just mature.
But this birthday is a little odd. Because now I am in my thirties. I’m a thirty-something. Remember when thirty-something’s were old? Yeah, me too.
So I hereby boldly declare that I’m now 29+2. And that’s the way it’s gonna be, m’kay? Good.
It’s been a fabulous day. Really, really fabulous. I had a pocketful of money for my birthday and I headed to the mall where I further confirmed that I can’t possibly be old and still enjoy the mall as much as the squealy preteens mosey-ing beside me. Yep, I still got it.
And I hit major sales, which means I came home with a lot of stuff. Shopping makes me happy. Shopping when I have money to spend makes me ecstatic.
Oh, and did I mention that my mom is keeping the kids all day and overnight for me? I know, right?! So now I’m home and the windows are open, the birds are chirping and the planets are apparently alligned to make sure my third 29th birthday is as glorious as it can possibly be.
What will I do with myself the rest of the day? Who knows? Maybe I’ll take a walk. At some point I’ll take a shower – a long, guilt free shower. And maybe, juuuust maaaybe (what movie is that from?…C’mon, you know it) I’ll take a nap in my brand. new. bed!
Can I just say that my husband is the luckiest man on Earth? This furniture was not supposed to come in until the end of the month, but it arrived early and was delivered the day before my birthday. Score for Lee as he’s so off the hook today – but not totally because did I mention that I don’t have kids all day today? Yeah – we’re going out…And not to Smokey Bones! (Old small group friends will get that joke – I’ll explain it to the rest of you another time.)
So I’m off to celebrate – without kids…did I mention that? I should say I had a lovely breakfast out with my beautiful brood this morning, so I did get to kiss their faces and love on them some today.
The proverbial “they” say that 40 is the new 30, which naturally leads to the assumption that 30 is the new 20 – so technically I’m not even 29+2 – I’m 21. Which is even better. I’m gonna go drinkin’ tonight – Whoop!
Don’t you love my math?
Love and Respect
Okay, I’m coming out with it. I watch Jon and Kate + 8. I always feel like I need to apologize for myself when I admit to getting sucked into the mindless world of reality TV. And while I’m confessing I might as well let you know that the other reality show I watch (not regularly because Lee won’t let me ) is America’s Next Top Model. There – now you know. My dirty little secrets…
Anywhoo, moving on (blush) Considering that nearly 10 million people tuned into Jon and Kate last week, I figure I’m not alone in my obsession with the show. I’ve watched them for a couple of years now and have really enjoyed the show…until the last two weeks.
Now I’m just sad. It makes me sad to watch them. I’ve always been slightly uncomfortable with the way that they speak with one another on the show, but before last season it seemed kind of cute and real – it was more banter. But beginning last season, the banter became excessive and I became uncomfortable.
Here are a few thoughts I have regarding marriage that Jon and Kate have solidified for me:
Two years ago, Lee and I went through a study with our small group called Love and Respect. If you’ve never heard of this study or the couple who wrote it, I highly recommend you check it out.
The whole premise behind their concept is that in order for a marriage to be healthy and stable, two things need to happen: A woman needs to respect her husband and a man needs to love his wife. It seems simple doesn’t it?
Then why is it so hard?
This has always, in my opinion, been what’s wrong with Jon and Kate’s marriage. Kate shows little to no respect for her husband. She orders him around and he, like a well trained puppy, complies with eyes rolled and shoulders slouched. I almost cried in one episode a couple of years ago when Kate told one of her sons not to listen to daddy because “he’s mean.”
I’m a firm believer in women esteeming her husband in front of others, especially her children. Kate does not do this, and it is a problem. A big one.
Now Jon, on the other hand, has rarely shown Kate love, at least not while the cameras were rolling. This can be a tricky thing, because everyone needs love communicated to them differently. But, if you’ve watched the show for any amount of time, it’s pretty clear to see that Kate’s love language is acts of service. If Jon were to get up and do anything without being asked first – and done to the caliber that his wife desires (which I agree may be unattainable in some cases), he would communicate love to her in volumes. The rare times when he seemed to please her were when he did just this. Oh, and Jon? The attitude with which you volunteer your service makes a big difference. Just sayin’….
Without respect from his wife, a man won’t love her well and without love from her husband, a woman won’t respect him well, and thus goes the vicious cycle.
Now, whether or not a man has been well respected does not at all give him grounds to cheat on his wife. I do think Kate is getting slammed by the media a bit unfairly. And I’m not saying that I believe Jon had an affair – at least not physically. But c’mon – getting caught alone in the middle of the night with a 23 year old? Doesn’t look good, dude.
But it all started with this lack of love and respect. And I find that so sad. It’s sad for their kids, it’s sad for Jon and Kate, and it’s sad for the institution of marriage.
Jon and Kate need to reprioritize. They need to grow up, get it together and repair their family. And I’m with 90% of America in thinking that the best way to do that would be to turn the cameras off. I was struck by how often they both said that everything they do is “for the kids.” Um, that’s another topic for another day, but clearly the kid’s-focused life they’re trying to build is not working out for them. There’s no stability as a couple when everything you do revolves around the children. None.
Also, they’ve both said there’s nothing more important in life than family. Well, Jon, your wife is your family – and Kate, your husband is your family. You were each other’s family long before the kids came around. How did that get lost?
Anyway, those were some thoughts I’ve had. It’s nothing new – nothing that no one else has said, but it felt important to document. Jon and Kate claim to be Christians, and I don’t doubt the sincerity of that claim, but if it’s true, then they need to seek godly counsel to help remind them that first and foremost needs to be their relationships with God; second are their relationships with one another; and finally, their kids. That is a healthy marriage. It’s not easy – especially with eight kids and a camera crew. But it is attainable.
If you are struggling in your marriage or are just looking for something to help strengthen your relationship, I highly recommend Love and Respect. They hold conferences nationwide, they have a DVD series that’s excellent, plus numerous books and resources that you can find on their website. Check it out and join me in praying for this reality family that is facing a very harsh reality.
Wordless Wednesday: Who’s Been Playing with the Red Marker?
For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.
Nashville
Thanks for all your kind words, thoughts and prayers. We had a lovely, refreshing weekend in Nashville and came home rejuvinated and encouraged. A special thanks to Rob and Kyna and Matt and Erin who made the weekend such a blessing for us. There is still heartache present, but also peace.
The kids had an absolute blast with their friends. Here are just a few of the things we did:
We ran through a wide-open field…
We visited the Farmer’s Market in downtown Franklin where we learned to milk a cow…
We got a Light Saber painted on our face…
As well as a butterfly…
We sat in an oversized rocking chair with friends…
We made S’Mores around an open fire…
We played hide and seek…
We spent 11 hours in the car not driving mom and dad crazy…
And we altogether wore ourselves out…
Yes – it was a good weekend.
Technical Difficulties
Every time I try and post about our weekend, WordPress freaks out and the internet shuts down on me. Blah! I will try again tomorrow.
Getaway in the hopes of some relief
We’re packing up to head to Nashville for the weekend where we will spend time with dear friends. I’m hoping to be refreshed during this time away.
It’s been a hard couple of days for me and my family. I won’t go into details here. All I can say is that I am desperately grateful, in times like these, that I have the knowledge and peace of God’s grace and mercy in my life. Knowing that He is ultimately in full control gives me some emotional relief.
Physically, however, I’m struggling. I feel like someone has jabbed me repeatedly with a toothpick from the base of my skull down the back of my legs. Even a half hour in the hot tub followed by the steam room yesterday did not ease the knots that have settled down the back half of my body. Perhaps a weekend away will help ease the stress – or maybe it won’t. I don’t know, but I do hope.
The kids are excited to play with their friends and Lee is excited to play in not one but two rounds of golf. And I am just excited for a change of scenery.
So I’m off. I have about 50 minutes before Lee comes home and I need to squeeze two hours worth of chores into that time frame. I’ll be back Monday…
Wordless Wednesday: Puddle Jumpers
Tuesday’s Talking Pictures
“They” say that a picture is worth a thousand words. So I figure a video clip must be worth around 10,000 words. I give you two clips today. The first is a video they shot and showed at our church this past week – and it’s hilarious.
They brought in several children and set them at a table in a room with a secret camera. Joe gave the kids a cookie and told them it was their’s to eat, but if they waited and didn’t eat it, when he came back he would give them two cookies. I’ll say it again: Hilarious.
If you’ll notice, my kid did not even hesitate – he did not think about it or wait, or even seem to care…he simply ate his one cookie, then wiped all the crumbs off the table (which he then licked off his hand) and sat back content. He told me later he didn’t want two cookies. Mm-hmm.
The best, however, is Andrew, the little Chinese boy who finally succumbed to temptation. Classic. Enjoy the clip.
This second video is nothing special – just a bunch of wet-haired, jammie-bottomed kiddos singing karaoke. That was a bizarre sentence…
After watching that is it any wonder that our kids are always sick? Geesh.
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