To: Lee
From: Your Wife
Re: Two Liter soda bottles and other containers with lids.

My dear, sweet husband. You are a picture of strength. Seriously, you’ve been working out and it shows – you look fantastic. You look every bit the Greek god. You are chisled from stone. Your strength knows no bounds and I am proud to be your wife.

I love that you are there for me when I need you. I know that at any moment, should I be overwhelmed by, say, a pickle jar, you will swoop to my side, your hair windblown, your muscles flexed and glistening and you will remove the lid with nothing but your thumb and pointer finger because you are just. so. strong. I am the damsel in distress and you, my dear man, are my superhero.

I have but one request, O Ye picture of strength. When you put the tops back on the two liter bottles of Sprite or when you tighten the lids of the kids sippy cups, please remember that us mortals do not possess your strength and try not to tighten them with the force of ten thousand warriors. Thanks so much.

In closing, when you come home today, I will need you to open the bottle of Sprite that you so deftly closed last night. I love you!

My three year old is fiercly independent. And when I say fiercly, I mean she just may take you out at the knees should you try to help her in any way, shape or form. In some ways, this is awesome. I lay her clothes out and she puts them on (I have not even allowed her to think that she will ever have a chance to pick out her own clothes. Once she decides that she wants that freedom, the battlefield will become much more delicate.)

In general, she does not want you to do anything for her. If you try to carry something, she snatches it. If you try to pick her up, she turns into gumby and slides out of your arms into a puddle on the floor. If you help her without her asking you, well – all I can say is look out.

But being that she’s three, there are times when it’s clear she needs help. This is where things get touchy. Take this morning, for example. I gave her a shirt with a rather tight collar and she was struggling to get it on. I could hear her screeching in frustration but she absolutely refused help. At times like this, I treat the moment like a hostage situation. Here’s how it works:

First, I stand several feet away, speaking in a soothing voice and telling her I’m more than willing to help if she needs it. I’m usually met with a resounding “NO!”

Second, I slowly inch toward her, still speaking softly. Sometimes this works out well and I’m able to help her out before she even knows what’s happened. But, other times – like today – this only escalates her frustration and she moves to the hopping and crying phase (I do it myhels! she cries)

Step three is to reach my hands out and, while keeping my voice soft, use firmer words. “Tia, let me help you. It’s going to be okay. We’ll get this done a lot faster if you just let me help.” I have to act fast when it gets to this point otherwise she spooks and runs. I grab her hands and finish the action quickly and smoothly. She usually cries, sometimes screams, which then requires some jail time (i.e. time out in her room).

When she’s finally allowed to return to the company of others, she’s as pleasant as can be and back to her bouncy self. Until, of course, the next time that help is required, at which point I jump back into the negotiations. I should be getting paid for this.

I would like to take a moment to highlight my favorite blogs. So here they are, in no particular order:

The newest blog on my sidebar belongs to dear college friends, Jeff and Wendy Elkins. We were all in a touring choir together and they got married just a couple of months after Lee and I. They now also have three kids (boy, girl, boy) who are almost the same ages as our kids. Even though we live many miles apart, it’s fun to still feel connected with this sweet, and hilarious, couple. Check them out at The Elkins Family.

Also new to my sidebar are the blogs of a sweet family that we go to church with who are preparing to move to Costa Rica as full time missionaries. I would encourage you to head over to their sites, Ticos Times Tres and The Jenkins Journal to keep updated on how the Lord is using them to reach the people of Latin America.

Kelly from About the Harps is another college friend whose blog I love to read. Kelly and I have laughed a little about the fact that while we were in college we did not know one another well. She married Clint, one of mine and Lee’s best friends, but we didn’t really have the chance to hang out much with Kelly – but now, she and I are seriously internet BFF’s. And I’m sad that we didn’t hang out more back in the day. Kelly is funny and sweet and they have the most adorable little boy named Hudson.

Kelly’s also enormously talented (and I’m only slightly envious of her gift) and has an etsy shop that you should all check out where she sells handmade kids clothes and they are just beyond adorable. Stay tuned because soon we’re going to do a giveaway of some of her stuff and you won’t want to miss it!

Finally, one of the blogs that makes me laugh on a daily basis is Anna’s from Bugs and Sunshine. Anna is hilarious and literally has me laughing out loud almost every time I read her stuff. Anna is an old friend of Lee’s from college and though I’ve only met her face to face a couple of times, I feel like we’re old pals. I highly recommend her blog if you’re in need of a good laugh.

There you have it. Of course, all of the blogs in my sidebar are fun and I love reading every one of them. But those are a few that I wanted to highlight for today. Enjoy your weekend.

It’s time to fling, folks. Dana, my blogging guru, calls this a trebuchet after the medievil whatchamagadget that was used to smash walls and fling crazy war stuff over them. Okay, that’s my definition of a trebuchet. In any case, the idea here is to verbally fling those things that make you crazy, then list the happy things in life that make the flings bearable. So, here you have it – my spring fling:

– First, I fling the process of teething. You can’t fling the process of something! Oh yes I can – my blog. I cannot fling Landon because that would be considered abuse and because, well, I really kinda like him a lot, but I do fling teething and the slobbering, crying, whining mess it turns him into. There – consider teething flung.

– Shop ‘N’ Save – I fling you – Fliggity Fling! I waited all week so that I could shop today when they have their $10 off day, only to get there and find out that they don’t actually do that every Thursday. You mean we’ve been subsisting on Mac N Cheese and ham for nothing? And then, when I asked the lady at the information counter how often they have coupon Thursday, she shrugged, rolled her eyes, and said they never know when it’s gonna be. So, I fling her twice. And I feel better.

– I fling the stomach flu, influenza and any other germy bug that dares to break through the protective barrier of Lysol that now layers my home. Fa-LING!

– St. Louis weather. Is it warm? Is it cold? Will it rain? Will it snow? Fling. I’m all for having four seasons. I like it very much, in fact, but flip-flopping back and forth – that’s not cool and it makes me crazy. So, consider it flung.

– Landon’s finicky eating habits. Do you know how hard it is to feed a child who subsists entirely on milk, yogurt and cheese – especially when he has a stomach bug that causes him to explode nastiness of the worst kind when he does consume dairy? So I fling pickiness and I fling it far.

– The current administration’s proposed spending plan that suggests raising taxes during a recession so that we can pay for universal healthcare and other controversial issues. I don’t like it, I don’t agree with it, I feel powerless to stop it because it appears that no one wants to really take into account how those of us who are negatively affected by this ridiculous plan really feel (and believe me, more people are negatively affected than are positively affected). So, this is me, symbolically placing the 3.55 trillion dollar spending plan in my rickety wooden trebuchet. I’m pulling the handle. Fling, fling, fling, fling.

– I fling my desktop computer for no other reason than that I just really want a laptop and can’t afford one so out of frustration I fling the desktop. Hahaha! This is fun.

On to the good now. These are the things I keep and these are the things that make me smile despite all the flinginess of the world around me.

– The prayers that Sloan says before we eat. They are precious, hysterical, deeply theological and sometimes just plain bizarre, but it’s fun to see him beginning to grasp more and more who God is and what He’s done for us. Today’s prayer before lunch went something like this:

It’s been awhile since I recorded the funny things that my vibrant, talkative five-year-old says. So here you go – the sayings of Sloan Stuart:

“Hey Mom, you know what?”
“What?”
“You know – back in the ’80’s, people didn’t have very much food.”
I don’t know where he came up with that, but I found it disheartening that my kid is now old enough to think of me as really old.

A few days ago we were in the car and I glanced back to see Sloan with his eyes squeezed shut and a pained look on his face:
“What’s the matter Sloan?”
(big sigh) “I’m using my imagination and I’m imagining that I’m in Florida, but when I open my eyes I’m not really in Florida. Why?”
“Oh,” I replied. “Well, using your imagination is like playing pretend. You see yourself in Florida in your mind, but your body doesn’t go there.”
“Oh,” Sloan said looking very disappointed.
“But,” I said, “If you imagine hard enough you might be able to hear the ocean or smell the salty air.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Close your eyes really tight. Now imagine that we are driving on the big bridge over the water and the ocean is right outside your window – can you see it in your mind?”
He nods his head, his eyes squeezed so tight that I’m afraid he may hurt himself.
“Now take a deep breath,” I said.
Sloan inhaled deeply.
“Can you smell the ocean?”
He’s quiet for a minute, then, with his eyes still closed he says, “Nope. Don’t smell it. Smells like our town.”

Oh well, so much for an exercise in imagination. Thanks for all the well wishes yesterday. We are doing much better here today. It was a 24 hour thing so we’re already on the mend. And I’ve settled on the name for my blog, which I will announce once I’ve got the new site underway. Thanks for all your suggestions and for all your voting. I’m excited to move forward with this. Bye now, bloggy friends!

How’s that for a title? Hey! Welcome to sickville – enter at your own risk. Want projectile vomit that will make you feel as though you’re dying a wretched death with your rear up in the air? Please enter to your left. Would you rather have diarrhea that churns your insides like a possessed knife on a rampage? Enter to your right.

Want both? Well, you’ve come to the right place.

Lord Almighty we can’t catch a friggin’ break. This started with the sweet, sweet soul that is Landon and will, hopefully end with me. Last night Sloan threw up so violently and so much that I kid you not, some was dripping off the ceiling. Now I’ve probably made you all sick. You should have seen Lee and I trying to clean it up. We were well coordinated, man. It was impressive.

I slept on the couch, because I was feeling all self-sacrificial – or because it gave me a good excuse to watch all of the post-Oscar hoopla until an ungodly hour. Then I woke with the familar pang in my stomach. I tried so hard to convince myself that it was just sympathy, or perhaps due to the smell of death that permeates our home right now. Or maybe it was because Lee made me massage his feet last night due to a friendly bet that I lost. But alas, it was none of those things. At least I may lose those last few pounds, eh?

Which, incidentally, I gotta tell ya – there’s nothing like throwing up with a 14 month old standing inches from your face. It’s something to behold. Everytime I heaved, he cackled and every time he laughed I heard little bubbles from his behind. It was comical and totally disgusting all at once.

So now that I’ve completely grossed everyone out, tell me, what are you having for dinner tonight? HA! I’ll not be eating. I tried a half cup of chicken noodle soup at lunch and that did not end well. Tomorrow is another day right? Good Lord – it’s time to move to Florida. Vitamin D and salty air is just what the doctor ordered.

Okay – So the clear winner from last week’s poll was Minivans Are Hot. I am ready to pull the trigger on this website thing, but I’m not 100% sold on the name just yet. I like it, but I want to be sure before I committ to it. So, my dear readers, if you would indulge me just one more time and vote for your favorite from the following list I would appreciate it so very much!

I promise this will be the last poll. I will choose a winner between Minivans are Hot and the highest vote getter on today’s poll and I will let you know when the process of building the new site is underway. I appreciate your help on this so much!

New Blog Name – Take 2
( surveys)

My friend Nicole did this on her blog and I thought it looked like fun, and since I don’t really have much else to write about today, I’m going to do it. If you want to join in on the good times, leave me a comment and let me know you did so I can come on by and check out your life playlist!

So here’s how the game works…
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, MP3, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For the first question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button TWICE
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool…just type it in man!
7. Tag anyone, and they have to do it too – I won’t do this, but play along if you’d like!

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
Opening Credits:
Ain’t No Other Man (Christina Aguilera)

Waking Up:
All My Tears Be Washed Away (Selah Duets Album)

First Day at School:
Always Be My Baby (Mariah Carey)

Falling in Love:
Another Try (Josh Turner)

Fight Song:
Baby Hold On (Jerod Starkey – not exactly fight worthy, but a great song)

Breaking Up:
Back in the Day (Christina Aguilera)

Prom:
Beat It (Michael Jackson)

Life:
Between the Lines(Sara Bareilles)

Mental Breakdown:
Bring It All Together (Natalie Grant and Winona Judd – That actually works!)

Driving:
Can You Hear Me? (Cindy Morgan)

Flashback:
Come Round Soon (Sara Bareilles)

Getting Back Together:
Dreamlover (Mariah Carey)

Wedding:
Earth Song (Michael Jackson – ummm, no thanks.)

Birth of Child:
Enter the Circus (Christina Aguilera – ain’t that the truth…)

Have fun!

On American Idol: I think America (mostly) got it right last night. I love the little pink haired Molly-Ringwald-lookalike girl (what’s her name?) and think she is a legitimate singer. Danny is also a very good singer, though I was with Simon in that I didn’t think he did well enough to warrant the swooning from the other judges. And, while I really like the oil rig guy and I’m glad he’s getting a second chance, I really wish the guy with the spikey hair who sang second would have made it through instead. Oil rig is cute and nice and totally likeable, but spikey hair could sing! And I think it’s completely unfair to him that he had no camera time coming into these rounds. He deserves a second chance and I hope he gets it.

Boy, that would have been a whole lot clearer if I could have remembered people’s names, huh?

Anyway, moving on to LOST. All I can say is OMG, OMG, OMG I love that show. Where are they? Where year are they in? What the heck is going on? Why is my heart beating so fast right now? I want to know what happened to Aaron and where the heck is Sun’s daughter? Will Locke come back to life on the island? How did Hurley and Sayyid end up on that plane? What an wonderful show. When it goes off the air in 2010, I fear I may have withdrawals.

So there you have it. Glad you decided to click on over here today? Was it totally worth your time? Well, now I have a question for all you bloggy friends.

I am going to develop my own website and get self-hosted. I’ve wanted to do this for awhile because I really am not crazy about blogger, and I want to have a little more freedom with my blog. When I make the switch to my own URL, I am going to change my blog name. I’ve gone back and forth about this and finally decided that I want to do it. I’ve never been crazy about the name of my blog. I picked it in a moment of sleep deprivation when I knew very little about blogging in general and I just think it’s kind of a mouthful and a little random. So, I’m including a poll at the bottom of this post and I want you guys to vote on the name you like best for my new blog. I’ll let you know the results in a few days and I will likely start putting together the website in the next month or so.

The choices for the new blog are: www.bloggingtheiryouth.com; www.alegacyinverse.com; www.minivansarehot.com

I tried to think of variations of my current blog title that I liked, but couldn’t come up with anything that didn’t sound inappropriate (i.e. Triplelove.com or Lovetimes3.com – yikes!) So vote away – I’m excited to see what your thoughts are.

Bye for now blogland!

What Should I Name My New Blog?
( surveys)