It’s time to fling, folks. Dana, my blogging guru, calls this a trebuchet after the medievil whatchamagadget that was used to smash walls and fling crazy war stuff over them. Okay, that’s my definition of a trebuchet. In any case, the idea here is to verbally fling those things that make you crazy, then list the happy things in life that make the flings bearable. So, here you have it – my spring fling:
– First, I fling the process of teething. You can’t fling the process of something! Oh yes I can – my blog. I cannot fling Landon because that would be considered abuse and because, well, I really kinda like him a lot, but I do fling teething and the slobbering, crying, whining mess it turns him into. There – consider teething flung.
– Shop ‘N’ Save – I fling you – Fliggity Fling! I waited all week so that I could shop today when they have their $10 off day, only to get there and find out that they don’t actually do that every Thursday. You mean we’ve been subsisting on Mac N Cheese and ham for nothing? And then, when I asked the lady at the information counter how often they have coupon Thursday, she shrugged, rolled her eyes, and said they never know when it’s gonna be. So, I fling her twice. And I feel better.
– I fling the stomach flu, influenza and any other germy bug that dares to break through the protective barrier of Lysol that now layers my home. Fa-LING!
– St. Louis weather. Is it warm? Is it cold? Will it rain? Will it snow? Fling. I’m all for having four seasons. I like it very much, in fact, but flip-flopping back and forth – that’s not cool and it makes me crazy. So, consider it flung.
– Landon’s finicky eating habits. Do you know how hard it is to feed a child who subsists entirely on milk, yogurt and cheese – especially when he has a stomach bug that causes him to explode nastiness of the worst kind when he does consume dairy? So I fling pickiness and I fling it far.
– The current administration’s proposed spending plan that suggests raising taxes during a recession so that we can pay for universal healthcare and other controversial issues. I don’t like it, I don’t agree with it, I feel powerless to stop it because it appears that no one wants to really take into account how those of us who are negatively affected by this ridiculous plan really feel (and believe me, more people are negatively affected than are positively affected). So, this is me, symbolically placing the 3.55 trillion dollar spending plan in my rickety wooden trebuchet. I’m pulling the handle. Fling, fling, fling, fling.
– I fling my desktop computer for no other reason than that I just really want a laptop and can’t afford one so out of frustration I fling the desktop. Hahaha! This is fun.
On to the good now. These are the things I keep and these are the things that make me smile despite all the flinginess of the world around me.
– The prayers that Sloan says before we eat. They are precious, hysterical, deeply theological and sometimes just plain bizarre, but it’s fun to see him beginning to grasp more and more who God is and what He’s done for us. Today’s prayer before lunch went something like this:
– I keep Tia’s laugh, which is deep and gravelly and just plain hysterical.
– I also keep Tia’s adorable speech pattern. Example: If something is really, really nice, she says, “Mommy, dat’s woody, woody nas.” It’s awesome.
– I keep my husband who is working his tail off to provide for us and is finally beginning to reap some rewards for his hard work. He is an amazing help around the house with everything from bathing kids to doing the dishes. I am grateful for him each and every day.
– I had a much needed and very sweet time with the Lord today. I was left with this verse swimming in my head and sinking into my heart: “Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And trust in the Lord.” Psalm 4: 4-5
– And finally, I keep these face products, which make me happier than any material possession should make a girl. Whenever Lee balks at the cost, I remind him of several things: First, I never buy them at cost – I almost always get them at 35%-50% off, which, umm-YAY! Second, they last forever! Seriously, while I can go through a $22.00 jar of Oil of Olay in just a month-6 weeks, these last a minimum of 6 months, sometimes more. Finally, and this is the clincher, I remind him that when I am 80 I am going to look as good as I did at 25 and he’ll be thankful that I invested so richly in my skin all those years. He then feels the need to remind me that I’m going to be sorry because he will, indeed, look 80. It’s a trade off I’m willing to make.
So what about you? Have anything you want to fling? Leave a comment! But make sure that you list something that you want to keep to balance it out. And have fun!