The Tooth Fairy’s a Vampire

Tia lost one of her two front teeth last week. It wasn’t the one I expected her to lose first, which means the looser of the two front teeth was left hanging precariously to the side without a mate to hold it up. In short, it was the epitomy of The Snaggletooth:

Yowza.

Because she outright refused to let us pull it, I tried to come up with as many creative ways to “accidentally” knock the tooth out for her. We went to Busch Gardens twice last week and I purposly put her in front of me on several rides hoping she would slide forward and bump her mouth.

Just a tiny bump, enough to jar it loose is all…

Finally, I caught a break on Sunday when she and her dad were doing some sort of gymnastics/cheerleading move and she bumped her mouth on his knee. Before she even knew what was happening, I had my fingers around the tooth and gave one solid yank.

I figured I only had one chance so I had to make it count, and I succeeded. Then I nearly passed out from all the bleeding. Ugh…mouth bleeding.

Aren’t you glad you stopped by to check in on us today? You aren’t eating are you? Sorry…

I didn't know it was possible for her to get any cuter...

So we had the tooth and Tia had a lisp and all was well in the world again. We spent the night at my parent’s condo last night, which was very exciting, because whenever the Tooth Fairy visits at the condo, she leaves money behind in a shell.

That is, of course, if the blasted Tooth Fairy doesn’t forget and head to bed instead of doing her job.

Tia walked out quite dejected and disappointed this morning. She saw my dad first and I heard the conversation.

Tia: “Boss, the Tooth Fairy didn’t come.” small sniff

Dad (aka ‘Boss’): “Uh-oh. I wonder what happened. You should go see if your Mom knows anything.”

She walked around the corner holding her tooth, her eyes sad and dejected. And I? I thought fast…

“I am so sorry, kiddo. That was Mommy’s fault. You went to sleep last night with your glow sticks by your pillow and the Tooth Fairy is afraid of light so she probably got spooked and left without taking your tooth.”

And then she grinned. At least I think she did. It’s hard to tell if she’s smiling when I can’t see any teeth. A few minutes later, I heard her telling Sloan the reason the Tooth Fairy didn’t leave behind a treat.

“The Tooth Fairy is afraid of the light?” he asked. “Like a vampire?” 

*sigh*

Tonight her tooth is back under her pillow with a very sincere apology note for scaring her off last night. And as soon as the Tooth Fairy gets off her tail and quits blogging, she is going to go deposit a dollar under the patient child’s pillow. The child who insisted there be no light on to scare the Tooth Fairy tonight.

Landon sleeps on the other side of the hallway and just after I put him to bed he called me into his room. “I need light,” he whimpered. “I don’t want the Tooth Fairy to come in here and take my teeth.”

A small note now lays outside his door that reads, Dear Tooth Fairy. Please do not come into Landon’s room. He has not lost any teeth. Thank you so much.

What’s the most creative tale you’ve ever had to tell your children?

PS – I know this business of telling our kids about the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny can be a hot button topic. We have chosen to allow our children the magic and fun of believing in those things while they are young. We plan on telling them ourselves that those things are just myths when we feel the time is right. We will be letting Sloan in on the secret this year because clearly when you start drawing connections between the Tooth Fairy and vampires it’s time to end the game.

This is what we have chosen to do in our family. I respect completely if you feel differently about the issue.

Comments

  1. When Lauren lost her first tooth she was terrified to go to sleep. She was crying and saying she didn’t want anyone sneaking into her room while she slept. I finally broke down and told her that it was just me, I was the tooth fairy. She was very relieved and went right to sleep. After school the next day, she came home and said that her friends were all amazed that I was THE tooth fairy who went to everyone’s house!

  2. I am laughing hysterically at what Landon said!

    • It was really cute…and hilarious. He was quite sure the Tooth Fairy was going to come in the night and steal his teeth right out of his mouth. 🙂

  3. this made me laugh out loud. I have a funny tooth fairy story too.
    Rachel had lost a tooth and I told her to keep it safe until that night so the tooth fairy would come. She piped in and said that she didn’t believe in the tooth fairy and I said, well then, no money. 🙂 Well Nathan, who is 2 years older than Rachel and hadn’t believed for a while, said, “mom, I believe in the tooth fairy, can I have her tooth? I need money!”. We laughed so hard at that.

  4. We once forgot to do the honors for like 3 days after a lost tooth. Kristin told her friend, Malli (daughter of my friend who is often late and usually forgets stuff), that the Tooth Fairy must be very forgetful lately. To which Malli responded, “I think she’s on vacation. I lost a tooth 9 days ago and still haven’t seen her.”

    • Pahahahaha!

      I mean, really…the Tooth Fairy deserves a couple days off now and then. She’s obviously rolling in the money so jetting off to some exotic location would not be a problem for her.

  5. Our middle son was born a cynic and at age 5 decided around Christmas time that Santa was not real. A couple of days later he lost a tooth and came out of his room the next morning holding the money and announced that he didn’t think there was a tooth fairy. I asked him why not and he looked at me incredulously and asked “Well, have you ever seen a fairy flying around swapping teeth for money?”

    The news about Santa and the tooth fairy all in the space of a few days was a SHOCK to his 9 year old brother! 🙂