Kids Say the Darndest Things

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Sloan: “Hey Mom!  What if I had a fire bootie?”

Me: “Um…what?”

S: “What if I had a fire bootie?  Then, if a dinosaur started chasing me, I could just toot and it would be like a rocket and I could get away.”

Me: *silence*  There’s really no way to respond to that.

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Sloan: “Tia!  Stop copying me.”

Tia: “Stop copying me.”

S: “Tia, stooooop.

T: “Tia, stooooop.”

S: “Mom, Tia is copying me.”

T: “Mom, Tia is copying me.”

Me: “Tia please stop copying Sloan.  That bothers him.”

Tia: “Well I can’t help it.  My bwain tells me to copy and I can’t say no to my bwain.”

Me: “Well, you’re gonna have to learn to say no to your brain, honey, or you’re gonna have a lot of trouble in life.”

Sloan: “Yeah.  And some of that trouble will be with me.”

Someone tell me again…how long until school starts back up?

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Me to Landon: “What’s your name?”

Landon: “Bubba.”

Me: “No, what’s your real name.”

Landon: “Uuuhhh…Hey you Bubba?”

I swear we don’t go around calling that child ‘Hey You.’  Just want to make that clear.

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Tia: “Mom!  Sloan called me a wowyer.”

Me: “A what?”

Tia: “A wowyer.”

Me: “What’s a wowyer?”

Sloan: “A lawyer, mom.  I called her a lawyer.”

Me: “Oh.  That’s not a bad name, Tia.”

Tia: “Yuh-huh.  He said it mean and he said I’m a big, fat wowyer.”

Me: *sigh* “Sloan, don’t call your sister a lawyer, please.”

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Tia: “Mom, I weawy, weawy, weawy wish I was a boy.”

Me: “Why?”

T: “So I can stand up to go potty and so I can carry guns.”

Me: “Well I can’t help you with the potty thing – that’s just how you were made.  But girls can carry guns just like boys.”

Tia: “They can?”

Me: “Sure.”

Tia: “Can I have a gun for my birfday?  A weal one?”

Me: “No.”

Tia: “But I fought you said girls tan carry guns?”

Me: “Pretend guns, honey.  Sloan doesn’t even have a real gun.”

Tia: “Yuh-huh.  He said he could shoot me dead wif it.”

Me: “Sloan!  Come here please.”

Comments

  1. love it! especially the “trouble” with sloan 🙂

  2. Joyce says:

    Hysterical! And please tell Tia that Mommy’s readers wish they could say no to their bwains more often too!

  3. Melissa says:

    Funny stuff Kelli! Thanks for the morning laugh.

  4. Stefanie A. says:

    Love it!! I laughed out loud reading this. It reminds me so much of me, Summer, Randy, and Seth growing up. One of my favorites is when Randy called out from the back seat of the van, “Moooom!! Seth hit me!” and then Seth pipes up from the back of the van and says, “No I didn’t…I missed!” As if that would vindicate him! (= Love you guys!

  5. Hilarious! I can’t wait ’til hailey and caleb start playing with each other!

  6. Love this! My christmas letter last season was all funny stories of what the kids said and did. It was peoples’ favorite! I’ll send you a copy on facebook. 🙂

  7. Lindsey says:

    Hahahaha…I LOVE your kids!!!! I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of trouble our 6 could get in together:) …Maybe someday they will have the opportunity!