My Minivan is cooler than your Lexus!

Due to several car trips in the last few months, our minivan has taken a bit of a beating.  Covered in dead bugs, splattered with mud and sporting the drop marks accrued during our deluge of rain last week, her sleek black exterior has lost a little bit of it’s luster.

It’s not often that one reads the words “sleek” and “luster” in the context of a minivan, I know.

So yesterday afternoon, I took my rockin’ hot minivan through a specialty car wash.  You know, one of those car washes where actual humans scrub your car?

After pulling her loveliness into line, I got out and shopped around the convenience store for a few minutes before heading out to watch them remove the layers of dirt that had been holding her back all these weeks.  And what did I find when I came out?

I found my minivan sandwiched between two Lexus’s (is the plural Lexi?) who were also being scrubbed to shiney perfection.  Then a third Lexus pulled up, followed by a BMW and a fourth Lexus.

And finally, the Créme de la Créme – a gorgeous (and I’m not a car person) sports car pulled up and parked nose to nose with my van.  I have no idea what brand it was, but it was somthin’ fancy, let me tell ya!

And guys, I kid you not, my van blushed and giggled when that thing parked in front of her.

And so, there I stood, the girl who brought her hoopty van to a class act party.  I was the like the stray dog at a country club.  The sore thumb.  The minivan surrounded by Lexi!

I tried to play it all cool like this was only my day car, but you should see what I drive at night.  But my mom garb didn’t help the situation – that being my unwashed hair, jeans, tennis shoes and puffer vest.

Oh, then there was the fact that I forgot to bring cash to tip the boys washing my car and had to scrounge for enough change to make it worth their while.  I, my friends, am nothing if not classy.

The best part of the whole process, though, was watching the boys attempt to work my tricked out van.  What she lacks in style she makes up in sheer awesomeness!  I mean, hello!  She has an automatic back hatch and one automatic side door, which I have child proofed, so the poor guys kept getting stuck inside the car when vacuuming because they couldn’t figure out how to open the door and got confused as to which was automatic and which was manual.

Good times.

And then, of course, there are the multiple – and I mean mul.ti.ple – scratches on the car from the kids running their bikes down the sides.  Yep – that’s how I roll.

So when the guys finally finished her up and handed me the keys, I climbed inside my now sleek and lusterous minivan and started her up.  Next to the purring sports car, she sounded like some sort mammoth as she roared to life.

And with that I held my head high, looked down upon the lowly sports car and I pulled out of Lexusland, driving her hotness off into the horizen.  I hope everyone watching wasn’t too jealous…


  1. Thanks for the giggle! I do enjoy reading your blog cause you make me laugh!

  2. Marcia Niekamp says

    Girlfriend, sell the minivan, buy a lexus suv, and then change your site to “Lexi” – I’ve finally made it! Remember – they are just toyotas. BMW’s are way too expensive to service, and most “sports cars” need tires replaced yearly that cost more than your annual minivan payment. Still costs the same to wash though. Maybe you should switch car washes. Mine has lots of minivans. 🙂

  3. Funny! But you never know who drives a Lexus, Mercedes, or BMW because they can actually afford to drive one, and who struggles to make the payment every month just for the sake of getting to drive a luxury vehicle. Coming from California, where it seems that everyone has a luxury vehicle, I have seen people who live in low income trailer parks and driving a luxury vehicle. Cars don’t make you who you are, and they are not necessarily a sign of how well you are making it.

  4. Thanks for the laugh! Maybe my minivan and yours can become friends. I’m SURE they have tons in common =)

  5. he he he he he….thanks, this makes me remember West County. wink, wink

  6. Tee hee!! You made me giggle. I love it!


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