Pass the Bon Bon’s Please

I’m writing this with a cup of coffee by my side. My hair is a mess and I have no make up on. I haven’t brushed my teeth yet and so far all I’ve managed to accomplish this morning is putting a few dishes in the sink, dressing my four year old (and doling out a few dozen kisses and hugs) and eating some eggs that my husband made for me.

You heard that, right?

I didn’t even make breakfast for anyone this morning. My oldest fed his sister, my husband fed me and the four year old doesn’t want to eat.

Some would call me lazy. Literally. Watch this clip. Those two women think I’m lazy and that I’m using my family as an excuse to not take care of responsibilities.

I watched this clip last night with a bit of amusement because, really? Are we really still having this debate? Did someone really spend time and money on research to determine that working moms are happier than stay at home moms?

And what qualifies happier? What does that even mean?

If I can get my obviously underused brain charged enough to make a decent argument, I would tell you that I think the panel of women featured on this segment do not speak for the majority of women. I get it. Controversial statements like “stay at home moms are lazy” stir emotion and emotion increases viewership.

Good job Mr. Cooper.

But really? Is anyone else tired of this argument? For every study that says working moms are happier, there is one that says kids are better off with a parent at home. And what does every single one of these arguments do for us moms?

Keeps us locked in guilt.

Working moms feel guilty that they can’t provide the stable environment that “the studies” claim children need and stay at home moms feel guilty for not being “more responsible” and contributing financially to the family. You know what I say?


Motherhood is hard. It’s the hardest thing any of us will ever do. And if you’re not outright abusing or neglecting your child, then chances are you are doing everything in your power to do the right thing for him. I have friends who work outside the home not because they have to, but because they love it. They love their jobs and working outside the home gives them joy and pleasure.

This makes me happy.

I have friends who work outside the home because they have to. The circumstances of life simply require this of them and though they may not love it, they do it everyday with grateful hearts because in this economy, if you have a job that’s a good thing.

Most of my friends, however, are like me. Staying home by choice. Sure we could all work if we wanted to, but we don’t want to (most days – let’s face it…we all dream of escaping some days) and we are blessed to not have to. And we are okay for it.

We’re all okay. So let’s quit judging one another and start supporting each other instead.

Working women around the world this morning got up, showered, fed their kids and got everyone out the door on time. My hat is off to all of you.

Stay at home moms around the world got up this morning, some showered (well done!), fed their kids and got them out the door on time this morning. I praise you for it.

Home school moms around the world this morning got up, some showered (seriously…I am amazed by you), fed their children and pulled out the books to begin teaching and training their children this morning. Way to go!

All of us, though, got up this morning and straightened our shoulders, ready to face another day as a Mom. Ready to fight the battle as a Mom. We all accomplished something great this morning – we got up and set forth to conquer another day. We all deserve a trophy.

How could we ever classify one another as lazy? I don’t understand this. This argument is as ancient as is the idea that women sit at home in the afternoons eating Bon Bons and watching soaps. Honestly…I would like to see a show of hands. Have a single one of you ever eaten Bon Bons and watched soaps in the middle of the day? EVER?!

I’ve never even seen a Bon Bon. Seriously. I don’t know what they look like.

We’re not lazy, Moms. And we’re all on the same team. Instead of judging and tearing each other down, let’s help each other out. Do you know a working mom who is frazzled and needs a little extra help with the kids or around the house? Help her! Offer to pick the kids up from day care once a week or pick up her groceries for her every once in awhile.

Do you know a stay at home mom who is fraying, at the end of her rope having not had a chance to get away in awhile. Help her out! Offer to take the kids out for ice cream so she can have thirty minutes alone, or ask her to meet you for coffee one evening for grown up conversation.

What if, instead of calling names and slinging labels – she doesn’t care, she’s lazy, she’s irresponsible, she’s selfish – we filled in the gaps for one another? What if we all stopped every once in awhile and ate Bon Bons together.

That’s assuming we can find them, of course. I’ve a sneaking suspicion that Bon Bons are a mythical food conjured up for the sole purpose of adding to this ridiculous argument.

No more judging, Moms and no more debating. Let’s fight the fight together. Who’s with me?!

To watch more of the ridiculousness, click here.