Major Mom Fail – I may have ruined her for life

A few years ago, I had this little game I’d play with the kids. For those of you who have been around here awhile, you may remember it. I would put Landon’s sock monkey in all kinds of funny and strange places and Tia and Landon were convinced he was alive. They loved waking up or coming home and seeing where the monkey would be next.

IT was a fun game!

We haven’t played the game in awhile, so last night I thought I’d pull out the old “your toys might be alive and love to move around trick.” Tia has had her American Girl dolls set up like this for days.

“The Girls” have been celebrating McKenna’s 7th birthday. Obviously. And every day, Tia would walk in her room and then immediately run out to exclaim in wonder at the fact they were still partying. “They just really love to party, Mom.”

Our American Girl dolls are party girls. Awesome…

So last night, on a whim, I decided to pull the old trick out of my hat. After Tia went to sleep, I arranged the dolls in various party positions thinking she would wake up in the morning and laugh at the fact that they must have really been having fun through the night.

 

Around 5:00 this morning, I felt her standing over me. (Why do kids go all Children of the Corn in the middle of the night?!) She was breathing heavy and when I finally opened my eyes I saw her inches from my face. I almost karate chopped her.

“Mom!” she hissed. “I woke up and my dolls were all over my room. IT’S. SO. FREAKY!”

It took me a minute to register her words and to decipher them in my sleepy state. “What?” I asked.

“Marie Claire is sitting on top of the lamp, and Kit pulled a drawer of clothes out and McKenna is on top of the table and Cecile is waving at me on the dresser. I’m too scared to go back to my room.”

I was so out of it myself that I honestly could not figure out what she was talking about, so I sent her to sleep in the trundle in Landon’s room. About thirty minutes later, I heard Tia and Landon both screaming my name across the house.

“MooooOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!”

Tearing out of my room, I ran to them. Tia had turned every single light in the house on from our room to hers. I found her and Landon huddled under the covers.

“Why are you screaming my name?” I said, exasperated.

“We’re scared to get out of Landon’s bed in case the dolls might try to attack us.”

And then I remembered my little…um…joke.

So…I guess that backfired, huh?

For those of you interested, I will be teaching parenting classes in the near future. The first class? How to scare the crap out of your kids in one easy step.

Comments

  1. I almost spewed breakfast all over my computer! HI.LAR.I.OUS! Just tell them to write it in their note book….to take to therapy as adults so they don’t have to make up any stories. They will have real ones.

    Trust me….my kids books are almost full, but they have turned out ok! 🙂

  2. yes. I laughed out loud. New ideas for when I become a grandma…

    • You might not want to try that one as Grandma. Let your grandkids mother’s be the ones to send them to the couselor’s office. You can be the comforter. 🙂

  3. Remember your Easter Bunny experience? Well, honestly, Mom and I had nothing to do with it (probably mainly because I didn’t think of it) and now it appears our granddaughter, poor child, has had her “Easter Bunny” experience at the hands of her mother. It’s likely that once she is able to addequately suppress the memory it will only come up as a funny story for the next oh, 80 years. Suppression….at least there is that hope! Dad

    • Yeah, but probably not. I have never forgotten the Easter Bunny. Nor have I ever forgotten the time you scared the crap out of me when I was babysitting on Friday the 13th. Chld abuse, that was.

      In hindsight, I DO see the creep factor of the dolls having moved around the room. Honestly, at the time it seemed like a really cute, funny idea. But when I think of Tia waking up in the dark and seeing her dolls in various new positions, I can’t help but…well, laugh, honestly. I kind of wonder how long she laid there before darting from her bed. IT IS SO FUNNY.

      That may also constitute as child abuse…

  4. “Children of the Corn…” BAHAHAHAAAAAA!

    • I’m right, though, aren’t I? They just stand there breathing. It’s a wonder I haven’t physically harmed one of my children in a sleepy haze…

  5. Stan Dutton says:

    that is too funny, I would pull something like that

  6. My husabnd and I have been scaring our kids for years. My husband put a motion-activated bride skeleton in my daughter’s closet when she was 11 and when she went to bed that night and opened her closet door, it started singing “Here comes the bride” — I honestly don’t know WHY we do it. 🙂 We haven’t done it to our youngest yet, but she’s only 5.

    • That is deliciously terrible. But really, this is all just character building, right? These kids need to know that sometimes life isn’t predictable. Sometimes skeletons might jump outta the closet. You gotta be prepared…

  7. Pahaha

  8. For the first half of this post I was thinking “I’ve totally got to do this to Brody.” For the second half I was emphatically telling myself, “Don’t you ever do this to Brody!”

    • It may have been better played if I’d done it during the day while she was at school. Something abut waking up in the dark with your doll hanging over your head screams of terror.

  9. We all want a report on how bedtime and sleep go tonight! 🙂

    • Well she’s spending the night at her grandparents and the dolls remained home. Probably a good thing. 🙂

      • The suppression process has started! She was fine last night although she still is curious as to why her Mom would do that!

        • Hahaha! Well, she set her dolls back in their normal positions tonight and gave me firm instructions NOT to touch them.

          Got it…

  10. Is one of the dolls name Chucky? You could have played it off by saying they are really party animals. Another good idea is to replace them all with animals, and call it the room of Dr Moreau (sp) old movie you may not know it.

    • No Chucky. *shudder* Although admittedly the one sitting up on the lamp that leans over her bed was a little terrifying. AG dolls have those all knowing looks and I swear their eyes follow you around a room…

  11. Oh my gosh…TOO Funny! Though if I was Tia, I would’ve freaked too and then, I would NEVER want to play with those dolls again…just in case….

    And I know it is completely irrational, but my boys have some robotic tiger cat that plays phrases when you push a button….my hubby and boys were camping the same night the batteries in this toy decided to start dying and I’m alone in the dark of the night and just as I’m going to sleep, I hear “I’m coming for you!” HOW.FREAKY.IS.THAT???? And of course it’s just garbled enough that you are completely sure where it came from….I finally bucked up and tracked it down and as I’m unscrewing it to remove the batteries, I found myself talking back to it…”I don’t THINK so, kitty!”

    • HAHAHAHA! Hilarious. We’ve had rogue toys in the night, too. There’s nothing more terrifying than searching down and possessed toy in the middle of the night. 🙂

  12. This post cracks me up! The Children of the Corn comment is the best!

    I love you girl!

    • My kids are notorious for standing over me and staring until I wake up. I seriously have almost hit them in the middle of the night before. It’s horribly creepy.

      Kinda like dolls moving around your room while you sleep…

      Love ya back!

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