My ears, they bleed

Alternately titled: Riding in cars with girls…


At least twice a week, Tia and I are in the car alone headed to gymnastics. I’d like to say this is a fun, relaxing girl time, but the truth is…it’s exhausting.

Girls talk a lot. I mean, I know that I am a girl and I’m quite certain I talked a lot as a kid (in fact, I distinctly remember my mom asking me to be quiet on occasion because her ears hurt. Hmph…), but I really wasn’t prepared for the intensity of the chatting. Half the time I don’t even understand what she is saying. Take, for example, this most recent conversation (which I can only remember pieces of because I’m not kidding she talks without breathing…)

Tia: “Oh Mom, guess what…(every new sentence begins with this phrase)”

Me: “What?”

Tia: “Riley has an older sister and she got her ears pierced and she said that it hurted really bad and her sister cried and her sister is eleven…and she cried.”

Me: *open mouth to respond but there isn’t time so I close it again*

Tia: “Oh Mom, guess what…”

Me: *open mouth the respond but there isn’t time so I close it again*

Tia: “There’s this boy who is in my group and I think he likes me, but I don’t like him. I mean I do like him, but I only like him like…you know…like a boy. But not like a boyfriend. I don’t like anybody like a boyfriend, right mom?”

I don’t even attempt a response.

Tia: “I don’t know if I want to get my ears pierced. I mean, I kind of do want to get my ears pierced but I’m a little nervous. Does it hurt weally bad to get your ears pierced, Mom? Can I get my ears pierced, Mom?”

Me: *open mouth to respond but there isn’t time so I close it again*

Tia: “Oh Mom, guess what…my friend in my class said she wears a bwa (bra). She’s six! Six year olds don’t wear bwas, right Mom? Can a six year old wear a bwa? Do I need to wear a bwa, Mom?”

I would really like to respond to this, but there simply isn’t time.

Tia: “Oh Mom, guess what…when I play soccer, I think I might be the star player, ’cause I think I’m pretty good at soccer. But I don’t know if I should be a professional soccer player when I grow up or a professional gymnastics girl. Maybe I should be both, right Mom? And a veteranian. I want to be a vet, ‘kay Mom?”

I manage to nod.

Tia: “Oh Mom, guess what…sometimes when I go to school I play with just the boys on the playground, but not usually. Only sometimes. Mostly I just play with the girls. Mom I smell centipedes. Do you smell centipedes?”

I…I just…I don’t…huh? Oh wait. She stopped talking. This is the question she wants me to answer?

Tia: “Mom. Mom!”

Me: “What?!”

Tia: “Did you hear me?”

Me: “I…uh…yes?”

Tia: “Oh Mom, guess what…”

And on and on it goes until we arrive. And I think she only manages to use an eighth of her daily allotted words because it starts all over again on the way home. So if you see me out in public and I look lost in a daze, just know I’m trying to process it all.

And I’m trying to figure out what the heck centipedes smell like…


  1. Ha! This sounds *just* like my six year old Luna Blue!

    Last night, driving home from AHAPWA and Bible study, she talked for most of the ten minute drive…. about windshield wipers.

    • Yes! Girls can talk endlessly about nothing. 🙂 Of course boys can talk endlessly about light sabers and body functions, so…

  2. It was probably the stinky boys she smelled and she mistook it for centipedes. I an see how it happens.

    Pipers usually too busy plotting evil to talk much. Taylor, on the other hand, yi, yi, yi!

  3. How old is she? Bwas? Boyfriends? Oh, I am *not* ready for that. Even if my daughter doesn’t let me get a word in edgewise…


    • Right?! She is six. Six! She wouldn’t let me out her hair in pigtails today because it might look “weird.” I almost cried. She does have an older brother so she has had a bit more exposure to things that are “cool” but still. I mean…

      And no- she is not getting her ears pierced or a bwa anytime soon. 😉

  4. Ha! My girl is 11 and she still pretty much does this.

  5. What is the “statistic”? Women need to use 35,000 word with gusts of 45-50,00? 🙂 Then there are the boys whose standard reply is “fine”.

  6. Candy martin says

    She takes after her mother. Kelli, you talked non stop. Never took a breath and would drag a story out forever!!!! Enjoy her talking now, in case she decides not to talk as a teenager!

  7. If you figure out where the “do you smell centipedes” comment came from I’d LOVE to hear that!

  8. I actually had two NEPHEWS who were right on pace with Tia. One would ask non-stop (and I mean literal.non.stop.) questions and expect answers for each one – which usually led to MORE questions about said topic, and the other was just a walking encyclopedia of all facts (useful and otherwise) that he just KNEW we were all dying to know what HE knew about it… *and maybe you just might have been neighbors with one of the prior mentioned… They have since aged, matured and outgrown (well, maybe not ALL the way) any resemblance to their former selves in this regard, and regardless, we love them to pieces!!

  9. Kristin talks less than your average girl, but what she says is priceless.

  10. Here is my problem…Rachel talks all the time. I mean, Nathan and I never gets a word in. So I mistakingly assume that when it’s just Nathan and I, my ears will get a rest. I am so wrong. I don’t know why I keep forgetting! Nathan talks nonstop because he’s trying to make up for lost time from when Rachel’s around. But honestly, I’m thrilled that at 13 he still wants to talk to me. Even if it is about baffling boy stuff,


  1. […] Did you guys read the post over at minivansarehot this week about Kelli’s adorable little girl who just won’t. stop. talking? […]