Dear Mom and Dad in England



So while you were off galavanting (something I’ve found you seem to be quite good at) about the English countryside this weekend, I was left to handle Easter on my own.  While you toured Shakespeare’s birthplace and hiked through the animal infested forests, I realized that not only did I need to create some kind of Easter feast for my family, but I also needed to fill up Easter baskets with goodies.  I realized this on Saturday.

I would like you to know that I managed to squeak by without you but I almost ruined Easter for good.  And Christmas too.  And I blame it almost entirely on you.

I dashed out Saturday afternoon for a last minute grocery run, in the rain.  Me and the entire senior citizen population of St. Louis County.  I bought a pork roast.  Not even a pre-packaged one from the refridgerated section, but an actual one from the meat guy.  He’s not a butcher is he?  Do I just call him the meat guy?  Whatever.  I bought it from him.  He wrapped it in white paper.  Fancy.

Score one for me.

I also purchased a round birthday cake with a picture of a bunny on it.  And ice cream.  I was rocking the Easter preparations.

I purchased 45 plastic eggs to put in their baskets.  Why so many?  Because I didn’t buy anything else.  You know, dear mother, how you always filled up our baskets with fun little trinkets and goodies as a kid?  Yeah…I didn’t do that.  I kind of forgot.  Thank God I had the DVD’s you purchsed for the kids before you left for England, right?

Minus one for me.  Holding steady at 0.  Plus six for you, though, for planning way in advance.

When I got home I tried to sneak by the kids with the plastic eggs.  You know, because how was I going to explain that the Easter Bunny used eggs we already owned.  I failed, though.  Eagle Eyes Tia saw the eggs and screeched with delight. 

“What are those for?” they all asked, pushing in on me like tiny little blonde vultures.

I thought quick on my feet, though.  You would’ve been proud.  “We’re going to put them in your Easter baskets and see if the Easter Bunny fills them up while you sleep.”

BOOM! Score three for Mommy.

They each got a movie, a chocolate bunny (of course) and 14 eggs, which the Easter Bunny did fill while they slept.  Except the Easter Bunny is stingy and paranoid about their teeth rotting out so the eggs only had one chocolate or a couple of jelly beans in them.  When it was all said and done they only had a snack bag amount of candy.


Three measly jelly beans...

Three measly jelly beans...

“Is dis all dere is?!” Tia exclaimed after searching through her basket.  There were no stickers, no toys, no coloring books.  “Mom, where does the Easter Bunny come from exactly?” Sloan asked, a little disgruntled.  “Is he real?” 

I had to bite my lip from answering, “Look, the Easter Bunny moved to England, okay?!”  Minus four for Mommy.  I hereby stand at a negative 1.

“That’s what they say,” I answer, dodging the question.  “Well, is Santa real or is he just a guy in a costume?”  Six eyes stare at me intently.

“St. Nicholas was a real man who delivered gifts to boys and girls,” I answered, sweat beading on my hairline.  “Hey look!  Breakfast is ready – come eat quick!”

Plus 1 for dodging a bullet. 

I did remember to put the pork roast in the crock pot (God’s gift to half brained moms) the night before so Easter dinner was partially prepared early.  Which was good since I had to be at church at 7:30 and didn’t get home until 12:45, which means Lee was in charge of Easter lunch.  They ate without me.  Pork Roast, Stove Top stuffing from a box and sourdough bread.  No vegetables or special sides to make the meal memorable because I wasn’t there to fix.

I get plus 2 for preparing the meat early, but minus 1 for not preparing anything else.  I think this leaves me at a plus 1.


The rest of Easter Sunday was quite lovely, actually.  While we desperately missed being with family, I must say it was nice to just be our little core unit of 5 for the day.  I reminded me, Mom and Dad, of all those years when we were growing up and didn’t have family close by.  My holiday memories are filled with leisurely afternoons with you all and Brett. 

We went to Applebees for dinner, which felt kind of lame, but it made the kids happy so I’m giving myself 1 point.  And when we came home, we cleaned up the house, put on our jammies, ate bunny cake and watched Yogi Bear as a family.  I’m awarding myself another point for going with the flow.

So that means my final tally came in at plus 3.  Not bad.  Easter wasn’t a total wash after all. 

But it still would have been better with you here.

Have fun for the remainder of your English adventure.  Tell Will and Kate I said hi…

Love, Your Daughter in St. Louis.

If only they looked alike...

If only they looked alike...


I laughed until I cried when I saw this picture. Landon's head looks detached from his body.

I laughed until I cried when I saw this picture. Landon's head looks detached from his body.




Studio Shot!

Studio Shot!


  1. Candy martin says

    So I am still up by 3 and I wasn’t even there. I missed helping with their Easter baskets. I loved filling them for you and Brett. You see you put a lot of pressure on me after your encounter with the REAL Easter bunny when you were 4. Remember the year I forgot to put the bubbles and something else in the basket and you and Brett questioned me as to why they were on my nightstand? I too had to do some quick thinking to reply. I missed making a nice meal for the family and having our Easter egg hunt. Someday we will all be back together. The kids look so sweet in their new clothes.
    Now I need to dry my tears, and swallow the lump in my throat so I can go galavant some more! I love you……..

  2. Oh, just wait til you hear how I ruined Easter. It’s downright heretical. 😉

  3. I cannot believe that Lee got all the kids ready, AND got pictures of them! What in the world Lee? I couldn’t even get my family together for one flippin’ photo! Now he’s just showin’ off…

    He he he he he…nice job on those 3 points. And man, can you think on your feet or what?!

  4. Mom – we missed you, but I know you’re having fun so no worries. 🙂

    Jessica – I can’t wait to read it. Seriously…can’t wait.

    Tiffany – He is super dad, isn’t he? I had to laugh, though, at his creative and “artsy” shots. He did a great job, though, so kudos to him!