If you need help wiping, let me know.
Hold still, I’ve got to dig this booger out of your nose.
Wow, I love that Crockpot.
7:30? Man, we slept in today.
Don’t grab your brother’s penis.
Can I please use the bathroom in private?
Eat your french fries or you can’t have dessert.
I swear, this house smells like poop.
Gorilla Munch does not go up your nose!
Why is there chocolate running out of your nose? Did you put a chocolate chip up there?
All I want is a nap.
I can’t wait to vaccuum.
Maxipads are not stickers.
We have to leave in 20 minutes? Okay, I’ll jump in the shower.
I wish I had an office job to escape to.
No, you’re not superman so don’t try and jump off the top of the swing set.
Yay! A date night. Let’s go to Borders and have some hot tea while we look at travel magazines.
Because I said so.
I don’t care who started it, I’m gonna finish it.
Take your shoes off I just mopped!
Who flushed mommy’s necklace down the toilet?
What about you? What are some thing you’ve said recently that you never thought you’d say?
If I pay you, will you clean your room?
Carrot cake is not a vegetable.
This is 4th grade math? Seriously? I think I did this in high school.
And of course every other thing my mother said to me that I SWORE I’d never tell my kids. You know, such classics as “if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?” and “because I said so,” and “I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Oooh, I used I’ll give you something to cry about not long ago too, which is terrible because I HATED it when my dad said that to me as a kid. These things just slip out!
my dad used “i’ll give you something to cry about” too and i hated it! and i think i’ve used it.
loved your list, and several of those are on mine. i’ve also said:
well, if you’re going to school, you have to wear underwear.
how many times are you going to poop today? (there was no answer b/c i was asking the kid who doesn’t speak yet)
please don’t eat that off the floor.
i’m sure there are more…
Those were priceless! I was laughing so hard by #5!
awesome! i love the list & i also loved the school post from yesterday. as you know, we're not there yet, but i really love that your blog is a place where people can share their experiences about such a touchy christian parenting subject & be open & not judgemental. yaaaay for christians being like jesus 🙂
(btw – i'm reading a good book on this – "the myth of the perfect mother").
all this to say, yes i'd like to do one next week! let me know what i need to do.
“Please take your potty off the couch.”
“Aren’t you done praying yet?” (at bedtime, after thanking God for everyone we can think of twice. Am I the worst example or what?)
“No, I don’t want to sing.”
This is Wendy:
“No, no, Juliann, we don’t eat bird poop!”
“Get your head out of the toilet”
“Who’s poop is this?”
“There’s poo on the floor!”
Shockingly ours have a lot to do with poo…hmm.
“No, I don’t feel like reading a story from the Bible for you tonight.”
HA HA HA what a great laugh.
too funny!!!! thank you for the laugh. The sad thing is I too, have said many of those same things. I was lying in bed this am trying to think of more. It’s hard. I need to start jotting (is that spelled right??) them down as i catch myself saying them:) i am driving the kids in the am, kay?
“Dad is out of town on a business trip tonight. Let’s go to McDonalds!!” 🙂
I am DYING over here!!!!!
Laughing till tears.