What was I thinking?

A few months into our marriage, I got the crazy, horrific idea that I wanted to be a brunette. This was during a time when several previously blonde movie stars had gone brunette and I thought surely I’d look as good as they did. I told Lee what I was thinking and he was all, “Cool! Great idea! Can I help pick out the color?”

So, we packed our classy selves up and headed to the local Walgreens because where else would a fabulous makeover begin but in the aisle’s of a chain pharmacy? After scouring over the different choices of hair color, we found a brilliant auburn that we both liked. The girl on the front of the box looked beautiful, breezy and very natural. I felt confident as I shelled out my 10 bucks that I was fast approaching a new, radient me.

Upon returning home, Lee had to head off to work and I decided to go ahead and get the process going. We had only one car at that time for some reason that I can’t recall, so he just dropped me off and I assured him that I would be a sexy brunette when he returned.

I quickly tore into the box and applied the hair color, then sat down and waited for the 25 minutes to pass. Finally, with much excitement, I rushed back into the bathroom and checked my hair. I knew immediately that this was not going to turn out as I’d hoped. My head had a blackish purple color to it. I quickly jumped into the shower and tried not to panic as I saw the dark, very dark color, swirling at my feet. Upon getting out and drying my hair, I began shaking and an actual panic attack set in.

 My hair was not the sexy brown of the girl on the box, but was actually a dark, almost purple color. I looked like some punk goth kid out to prove to her parents and the world that reality does indeed bite.

So I called Lee and tearfully told he needed to come home now, which he did and promptly began laughing his head off. And, God help me, I tried to laugh with him, but it’s really hard to laugh when you’re bawling. So, after Lee composed himself, we headed to the mall (mistake number 2) and I walked into a Regis hair salon and shamefully asked if they’d bleach it out. Instead, they tried to just lighten the color so as not to damage my hair with bleach. An hour and a half later, I had red and orange stripes in my hair and I was sobbing…again. They finally bleached my hair.

At this point my scalp was bleeding and my hair was a very vibrant orange. Think Tony the Tiger – on crack. I paid my $220.00 and walked out with my head hanging low. I would go back the next day to try and correct the color but for the time being, they wanted me to let my head rest from all the chemicals.

Ya think?

Naturally, I had to work the next morning, and guess what? I was a gymnastics coach, which meant I couldn’t wear a hat. So I walked into the gym, my neon orange hair clashing horribly with my bright red cheeks. Of course, every kid in there stared unabashedly. And to top it off I worked with almost all russians. I love russians and their blatent honesty as every single one of them asked me what in God’s name I had done to my hair.

Humiliation in two languages! Perfect.

As soon as I got off, I raced back to the salon where they semi-fixed my hair. But I swear, it’s never been the same…
I know this is a terrible picture. The original is in a .tif format and I’m completely computer illliterate so all I could do was print this picture out and scan it in as a .jpeg. You get the idea though…

Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Your blog continues to be so fun to read!
    Alison Post

  2. heresthediehl says:

    i’ve heard this story before, but it still totally cracks me up. 🙂

  3. blessedpath says:

    Hey, this is good info to keep handy when I have to go get highlights for $60-80. When Mike asks me why it costs so much……It’s worth the extra money to have a professional do it, just look at Kelli after going to walgreens first! Aww, I say all that in total respect to you:) You look cute, even with tony the tiger hair, kelli.

  4. Hey Kel, the same thing happened to me…only I stuck it out with the purple hair…because I’m incredibly cheap. I pretended I looked “cool”. Jeremy can attest to the hilarity of the purple hair. I feel ya girl. Thankfully, I wouldn’t allow pictures so I don’t think anyone but maybe Amy can remember it!

  5. Anonymous says:

    hhhmmmmm, it is all coming back to me! Don’t you think you should go to shade #234 again? I think now that you are a soccer mom, it would be the prime season of life for it!
    Becke’

  6. Ha! Thanks for dissuading me from buying color from the box, which I almost did!
    And I thought I sent you my blog link when I started it! Regardless, I’ve been checking yours ever since and have really enjoyed staying up to date with your family…and reading about your hilarious antics. 🙂

  7. the broomes says:

    Ha!!! I LOVE it!!! …You know that I can totally relate to your hair-dying woes!!!! Do you remember my summer-encounter with “Sun-In”…aghhhh…brassy orange is not a good color for anyone!
    It was so great seeing you last week, Kel! I love ya!

Trackbacks

  1. […] She’s seen me through a lot of hair tragedies over the past decade, with the worst being this one.  And she stood by me, never […]

  2. […] I have blonde hair and I always have…well, except for a couple of misguided attempts to not have blonde hair. […]