Dispelling the myth

On our drive from St. Louis to Arkansas yesterday (where we are staying with family for a week), we had the privilege of stopping in Branson for swimming and hot dogs with a sweet college friend.  It was the perfect midday break in our drive and gave all of us a chance to stretch our legs a bit.

While the kids swam, Rachel and I discussed all things mommy and blogging.  She said something that I hadn’t necessarily thought through before.  “I think blogging can sometimes give Moms a false picture of motherhood,” she said, her voice all sugary.  Seriously, you’ll be hard pressed to meet anyone sweeter.  “We only get to see a small glimpse of someone’s life online and from that we make assumptions.”

How right she is.  Blogging can easily set us Moms up for frustration.  This Mom plans a rocking birthday party, that Mom does amazing crafts with her kids, the Mom over there manages to work full time from home and the Mom in that corner is teaching her kids Latin.

I’m exhausted.

As I’ve thought about it, I’ve wondered what kind of glimpse I am giving people into my life.  Because I share a lot here – but I don’t share everything.  Some of life isn’t meant to be shared.  As the kids get older, I will share less about them because really, how many of us would have died a horrible death if we knew our mothers were broadcasting our every awkward tween move for all the world to read?!

*shudder*

I’m not a perfect mother.  I don’t cook organic – heck, I don’t really cook much at all.  I’m what you could call a “thrower together.”  I throw together meals, often beginning them around 5:00.  It’s kind of pathetic.  I am, however, a good baker and I’m passing that love on to my children.  I consider that a score because how awesome that my daughter will know how to make a killer scone when she’s fully grown?

I hereby apologize to my future grandchildren for the innumerable scones and petit fors they will likely consume instead of meat and potatoes.

I don’t throw killer birthday parties, but I throw decent ones.  I’m all about simple.  Make it look elaborate, but keep it simple.  That’s how I roll.

I don’t read to my kids every day.  And my kids don’t love to read.  I’m hoping to change that this year.  It has been a failure on my part.  My kids just don’t love the written word and I hope to show them the magic of a good book.  But it will take work and, dare I say, training.  Something I don’t excel at.

I don’t shower every day, nor to I wear make up most days.  I look better with make up and I smell better when I shower, but those things take time and effort that I simply don’t have many days.  I do, however, wash my face two or three times a day and apply my magic lotions.  Because, as I’ve said, I’m a face product addict.

I don’t always enjoy having my kids friends over and I get increasingly annoyed when I feel my kids are encroaching upon my personal space.  I am selfish and easily frustrated and have been known to raise my voice, none of which make me in the least bit proud.

I am terrified of homeschooling my kids, but I feel like it’s something I need to do.  I don’t do it because I think I can teach them better than someone else.  I don’t do it because I have some kind of beef with the public schools.  The opposite, in fact.  I think that our schools and teachers deserve much more respect and support than they’re given, especially from the Christian community.  Is the public school system flawed?  Yes.  Without a doubt.  Is it an evil place to send our children?  No.  Without question.

I am homeschooling my children this year because the Lord has made it obvious that’s what I’m supposed to do.  I do so with plenty of nerves, but also a bit of excitement.  I won’t be perfect at it.  I might even be really bad at it.  But I won’t know unless I try.  So I’m trying.  And part of the reason I feel I need to try is linked to what I mentioned above.  My kids don’t love to learn.  And I want to teach them how exciting learning can be.  Only I can do that.

I’m not a perfect mother and this isn’t a perfect blog.  I don’t promote it as much as I could and I don’t work as hard on it as maybe I should.  But I love this little space that I’ve created.  I want it to be a fun place, both for me and for you.  I want you to be encouraged as you read here, not the opposite.

And now I will take my greasy, non-showered, non make-upped face back to my in-laws house where I left my children in their care so I could escape for a little while get a little work done.

Sometimes being not perfect has benefits, she says as she sips her Iced Chai while listening to Frank Sinatra croon in the background.

Comments

  1. I don’t even want to tell you how imperfect I am. I’m ashamed and most people would be too. 🙁

  2. Being perfect demands lots of responsibility and doesn’t allow any failures. We should be just mothers to our kids and keep being women with our own space and our own drawbacks. That’s the way to teach the kids to be themselves. I love your blog and your style of writing and even your imperfectness.

  3. Hey Kelli. Thanks for sharing this. I so agree. Sometimes when I write on my blog, when that actually happens, I’m always afraid that people are going to get a false impression of me. Unless it’s something about the kids, I usually write about something that God has placed on my heart but I’m afraid sometimes that people are going to think I’m prefect (or at least that I think I’m perfect) or “holier-than-thou” neither of which are the case.
    I love reading your blog. It’s such an encouragement to me.Your writing style encourages me to try new things. I love to write but I have had zero training (except high school english and college english 101) and you inspire me to think outside the box. I’m glad you are honest in your writing. It’s something I really try hard to do too.
    Oh, and I’m planning on homeschooling too. Hailey and I are starting preschool this fall. I am so excited for you and your new adventure as I am embarking on it myself. Randy jokes about how every time someone mentions homeschooling my ears perk up. I am planning on using the Sonlight Curriculum. It looks amazing. Anyway, I’ve probably taken up all of your comments space =)
    Oh, and we’re taking a trip to Florida in November so maybe we could catch up!

    • Steph, I am planning on using Sonlight too. It does look amazing. I know what I’m going to order, I just need to do it! And I LOVE your blog. You have such a sweet heart and I, too, am challenged by you! Can’t wait to see you guys this fall! 🙂

  4. melcable says:

    oh how I wish I could have swam and talked mommy life with the two of you.

  5. I 100% agree with you about schooling–public school is not the devil, but I am feeling pretty giddy about getting to have a huge part in my daughters’ educations this year.

    I also agree that blogs are a “best foot forward” type of space. It’s really hard to put the bad and the ugly out for the world to see when those are the things we typically like to keep hidden.