Today is one of those days when I feel like I’m done. I have nothing left. I gave so much of myself last week and I used every bit of my reserve energy to survive and get through that I have little left this week. Lee is home now, which helps, but unfortunately work is such that I’m still alone a lot, with sick children, a house to pack (we’re hoping to put it on the market in a few weeks) and a long list of other responsibilities staring me in the face.
And I am exhausted. So tired that my eyes actually ache. And given the fact that I have a three year old who refuses to nap, afternoon rest is likely not in my forecast. *sad face*
This is one of those days/weeks that I am going to need to dig down deep. One of those days/weeks when I have nothing left of my own to offer. One of those days/weeks when my time with my Bible is like lapping from the sweet stream waters after an arduous hike.
I’m digging down deep. I am in survival mode. In this fog I honestly don’t see an end in sight, but I know there is one. In three weeks I’ll be in Florida. The Beach is waiting for me. And my mom will be there. Ah! Suddenly there is a small light at the end of the tunnel.
It’s called Spring Break.
What do you all do when you have to dig deep? What gets you through those longs days/weeks/months/years when life is overwhelmingly full?
Oh Kelli I hear you. I have been feeling this way for the past two weeks and I think a lot of it is related to the weather. We keep getting teased with springy sunny days and then back to the cold, overcast sky. I feel like I just go, go, go, sleep, work, repeat. Mark and I were just having this conversation last night as well. I’m overwhelmed with my work job and my mom job, but it’s mostly because I feel like Mia is growing so quickly and I missing out and one day I’m going to wake up and she’s going to be going to get her driver’s license. Life and time is moving so quickly, so all that we can do is remember to be thankful for the wonderful blessings that we do have. Take a deep breath and realize there is only so much you can do in a day (and you will be on the beach in three weeks). If only we had super powers huh?
Super powers would be WONDERFUL. Hmmm…what should my super name be? This will give me something fun to think about today. Thanks Mel! 🙂
Hmmm, I hear ya Kel. Whenever it’s really bad I do a couple of things: I make a list and prioritize what is most important and what needs to be put on the back burner. It helps me focus. I pray about my list and ask God for some supernatural strength and peace that surpasses understanding, I sit the kid(s) down and tell them what to expect the next couple of days while Mommy is busy and I ask for a little extra help and support from my husband and my friends. That is how I dig deep. I can’t keep at that pace very long though. One to three days is my max before I just can’t take it anymore. And afterwards, I’m really wiped. But it helps. One more thing, I try to go to bed as early as possible. I’m one of those people who just work better on good sleep.
I hope things start to look better. It’s hard to be in touch spots like this. Sorry friend! Here for you if you need help and hurray for Florida!
Sweet, Kelli. I love your honesty. You give us all permission to ‘be’ and it is refreshing! Reading your blog can be a ‘dig down deep’ moment for me because I often feel blessed to know that I am not alone!
That being said … (and yes, you might want to grab a trash can to hurl in after reading what’s next) … I find that ‘counting my blessings’ will often part the clouds of doom. Take the time you need to just sit, pray, look at and FEEL the blessings that God has given. Often for me that ‘dig down deep’ comes bursting forth. I know. It seems so ‘overused’. Too ‘simple’. Maybe not ‘practical’ enough when you have a deadline to meet and a house to pack and a kid to feed, etc. But being thankful somehow rearranges things. Here’s a verse to revisit today Psalm 107:43
43 Let the one who is wise heed these things
and ponder the loving deeds of the LORD.
Be encouraged, sister! God is good and you will get things done.
Hey Kelli: I love how Vonita put it…when I read your blog I know that I am not alone in my “moments”. So know that you are not alone. Steve was gone for a month last September and it was HARD. I think I am still digging deep from that one! 🙂 But by talking about the struggles allows others to pick you up when you need it. A friend gave this verse to me: Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” And if you need any help, call me. I am home in the afternoons.
Thank you, friends for the encouragement and sweet words. Those alone have given me a little more energy today…along with the coffee I drank while reading them. 🙂 Feeling very blessed right now.
When I feel down, I start singing “Blue Bird on My Shoulder, it’s the truth, it’s actual, everything is satifactual…..zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-day my oh my what a wonderful day, plenty of sunshine heading my way, zip-a-dee-do-dah, zip-a-dee-day” or I sing “Low Down the Chariot” or “Um-bop” (by Hanson). There are some others.
I love your “mommy fatigue” tag. You’re definitely not alone! I have more “survivor” days than I’d like to admit. I’ve been known to throw myself on my bed and cry because I just. have. nothing. left! And I have to cry out to God because He’s the one who gave me (and not someone else) these kids and so He needs to give me what I need in order to keep going – to do well – not to just go on surviving forever. Reading, remembering and reminding myself of what I have in Him (um, patience, anyone?) is really all I’ve got when I’m running low. I make a lot of mistakes with my boys in these times and have to ask for forgiveness, but it can lead to some good conversations about our need to live life by God’s power, not our own, since they see me mess up so often. Press on in this great, but sometimes very difficult, calling! And praise God for the beach and grandmas 🙂
Lee, you’re a dork. I love you, but you’re a dork. 🙂 And it’s MmmmBop. Gotta get your ’90’s references right, oh husband of mine.
Jaime, thanks for sharing. I actually had a Disney Princess moment yesterday where I flung myself on my bed in a heap of tears. After I was finished I did feel better and yes I made it. I feel much better today. Mostly I’m encouraged by all the sweet love poured out on me by all of you! Here’s to a great weekend!!! 🙂