Don’t let the door hit you in the—

Mornings are crazy.  We manage to get out the door, but not without a bit of stress.  Can anyone identify?

Here’s how a typical (hectic) morning in the Stuart household looks:

Up at 7:00 – I know, I know…We should get up earlier; things would run so much more smoothly.  I got it!

After breakfast is eaten, beds are made, teeth are brushed and kids are dressed, it 7:55.  Awesome – we’ve got 5 minutes before the bus arrives.  Just enough time for my blood pressure to level out.

Oh, but wait!  It’s getting colder, which means we need coats on, and oh yeah!  The hall closet is so packed with coats that by the time I dig one out that actually fits, it’s 7:58.  Up goes the blood pressure and, at this point, I actually begin clapping my hands.

Yes, sometime in the last year, I actually morphed into the mom who claps her hands at her children.  “C’Mon guys, we gotta go out.  Let’s go, go, go!”  clap, clap, clap.

By the time we manage to get out – usually Landon is the one who ends up outside without his shoes or coat on…poor third child – my heart is racing and I feel like I need a stiff drink.  Don’t worry – I don’t imbibe.  At least not yet.

Once child #1 is packed off to school (loaded down with hugs and kisses – I’m not mean mommy), it’s time for mommy to get dressed because I’m usually shivering out on the front porch barefoot in my pajamas.  Once I get myself dressed and ready and finally get the poor third child fully clothed, I usually discover that Tia has shed her socks and shoes somewhere in the recesses of our house.

And by the time I get her shoes back on her feet, Landon has shed his shoes somewhere in the recesses of the house.  So I threaten Tia within an inch of her life if she removes her shoes again, I clap my hands a few times for good effect, I locate Landon’s shoes and I pack the two younger kids in the car, not even bothering to put Landon’s shoes back on his feet.

At this point, I usually notice that the dog’s food and water bowls are bare and guilt sends my running back in to fill them. 

When I come back out, it’s not uncommon to find Tia jumping around in the car rather than sitting in her seat with her belt buckled.  Thus necessitating the need for more clapping. 

My hands are getting raw.

I hop in the car and then it hits me.  Where are my keys?!  Where are my KEYS?!?

With the clock an ever present reminder of just how late we really are, I search, I tear, I mutter and growl, I stomp around the house, I pass the key ring hanging just inside the door where Lee always tells me to hang my keys when I come in and I glare at it for good measure.

(This evening, when running late for russian school, I may or may not have muttered a few choice words under my breath as I frantically searched for my missing car key.  All the while Lee looked at me in mild amusement and wisely stayed out of my way.  I found it in the bottom of my purse, by the way.  Only after I checked there for the third time.) 

Usually, though, I find them someplace really obvious, like the pocket of my jeans, or on the bathroom floor, or under the crumbled mess of snacks in the bottom of the diaper bag.

And somehow, I make it out the door, dropping Tia off with seconds to spare (loaded down with hugs and kisses, of course).

And many days I head to the gym where I drop Landon off and I fight the urge to curl up in the fetal position in a dark corner and suck my thumb.

Seriously, while I make it seem absolutely awful, our morning routine is not horrible, but it is hectic.  Getting three kids dressed and ready to get out the door can be stressful.

So what about you?  How do you make it out the door in the morning?