Sloan-isms and other stuff

Lee was out of town this weekend, which gave me ample talking time with my adorable, precocious 5 year old. Here is a run down of two of the more memorable conversations we had.

Friday morning before breakfast, the kids and I prayed. When we finished, Sloan started in:
Sloan: Mom, does God live in my heart?
Me: Well, one day, when you’re ready to ask God into your heart and you understand what that means, you can come to mommy and daddy and we’ll help you call upon God as your Savior. But you have to be ready.
Sloan (looking up to the sky, his voice filled with drama): God, please come into my heart.
Me: Well, there will come a day when you understand what it means to ask God into your heart and mommy and daddy will help you do that. But you have to be ready…
Sloan (lifts his left leg and passes gas…loudly): HAHAHAHA! I tooooooooooooteeeeedddd!
Me (pausing for a moment to let the abrupt change in our conversation sink in): Obviously, you’re not ready right now so let’s just eat our Cheerios, ‘kay?
And thus another potentially teachable moment was gone and I ended up stifling laughter for several moments.

Later that day, we were at my mom’s house and Sloan and my mom started having a conversation.
Sloan: Byshka, you know what?
Mom: What?
Sloan: When I grow up to be a big man, I’m gonna be a daddy.
Mom: Really?
Sloan: Yeah. I’m gonna get married and have a wife and be a daddy. (and I’m thinking to myself, “Yeah and it better be in that order buddy!)
Mom: And what are yougoing to do when you’re a daddy?
Sloan: Well, first I have to go get my kids.
Mom: Where?
Sloan: At the kid store. There’s bones there.
Mom: What kind of kids are you going to pick out?
Sloan: No! I don’t pick them out. God makes them at the kid store with the bones.
Mom: Oh. Are you going to have boy kids or girl kids?
Sloan: Well, I’m gonna have boy kids. But do you want me to have a girl?
Mom: Well, girls are pretty fun.
Sloan: Okay, I’ll have a girl kid and a boy kid, or maybe two boy kids.

What a joy that little boy is – most of the time…Anyhoo, despite Lee’s absence, I actually had a very pleasant weekend. I got to go out and mingle with some of St. Louis’s elite on Friday night when I went to a soiree honoring Bob Gibson, former Cardinals pitcher. Never mind that I had never heard of the guy in my life, it was still a free meal and a nice evening out. And Saturday night I went out with my awesome neighbors where I wowed them with my in-depth knowledge of all things Cardinals. Well, okay, I think my neighbor Mike almost had a hemmorage when I said the line, “some guy named Bob Gibson who was like a pitcher or something.” You can check out Julie’s site for pictures of our kickin’ kidless evening!

And finally, a special shout out to my awesome mother-in-law who celebrated her birthday today. I am blessed to be married to her son and am blessed by her on a regular basis. We love you Barbara and hope you had a fantastic day.


  1. blessedpath says

    Only Sloan!!! A discussion about the most important decision in his life……..ends in farted bliss! We had a blast Saturday with you all too! I created a monster by telling Chase my knock-knock joke…he said it the whole way to church in the car and told it to his buddies in sunday school, yikes. Hope Sloan is feeling better, Looking forward to our night out in October too. Should we all try and dig out some old pics from our childhood to share or something like that??

  2. Kelli, thank you for the birthday recognition. I, too, am thankful you are married to Lee, not only because you love him and complete him, but also, because of those precious Grandkids you have given us. If you are writing down everything cute he says, you will have many volumns by the time he is a Daddy.
    Thanks again.

  3. Stuart Fam says

    great stories! I bet God was laughing his head off at both of them!